NeonRaven8919

This was an interesting thread and it took an unexpected turn. I would like to dedicate this thread to all of the non-weight loss surgery folks that say weight loss surgery is the easy way out. They could learn a lot by reading this thread.

Sacrifices DO suck, but that's called being an adult. I don't want to do my expense reports but I have to if I want to keep my job. I don't want to do my laundry or take a shower, but I have to because that's what an adult does.
I HATE exercise, but I do it anyway, because it gets me to my goals. I miss eating big Desserts and big meals, definitely. If you're looking for sympathy, you've got mine.
But... if you want your outcomes to change, you have to change your inputs

Nobody said suck it up and try harder. I'm saying, go back and look at your previous posts. There are things, very tangible things, that can be changed. There are no miracle cures. But if you want to keep things as they are, that's completely up to you. I'm not here to judge you. It's not my place. But if you want things to be different, there are things to change. The first being your mindset. I know you can do this, but it will require a different set of actions and way of thinking. I wish you well no matter what you decide, but if you work WITH your surgeon and dietician and work on changing your mindset and then you will be able to change your actions and what/how you eat. Once you do that, the results will come.

1. Restaurants: I eat out about 90% of my meals because I travel for work. I just think carefully about what I'm eating and I stop when I've had enough.
2. Sweets: You just... have to make some changes in order to get the results you want. I have always had a sweet tooth, made worse by medications I take for bipolar disorder... but... I try not to eat sweets much now, and when I do, I use sugar free sweets or have a tiny piece. I CAN eat too much sweets without my restriction kicking in. It's up to me to make the choice that aligns with my goals for long term weight loss
3. Nice food: I love nice food. I just don't need to make it the only thing in my life anymore. I enjoy almost all of my meals, especially when I can enjoy them with friends or family, but it's not the only thing in my life (and I'm Italian!).

It kinda sounds like you want to have your cake and eat the whole thing - you can't eat every single thing as much as you want and lose weight, and only have a surgery that is less effective, and not take time off from work, and not like fat people and not weigh your food... We all want it all, but it's just not possible. I would love to have NOT had this surgery that makes me uncomfortable all the time. But I wanted to be thin. I think you really haven't made up your mind what it is you want yet.

If I'm honest, I think part of the problem is that you went into this for the wrong reasons, and because of that, you don't have the motivation to do the work necessary to get the results you want. It sounds like you wanted a miracle cure that would melt the weight off without you having to make any sacrifices or changes, and it just doesn't work that way. Granted, the surgery you chose doesn't have the results others do, but it does still produce results if you work the program. But you sound resistant to any of the suggestions being given, unless someone else does it for you. You have to take accountability for yourself, what and how you eat, and the pitfalls and successes you have. You get out what you put in. I don't think your doctors were correct in letting you have a WLS knowing your psychological issues and that you only wanted it for vanity's sake. This is a major step that requires lifelong changes. Those who transition know that and are ready and willing to make the changes to live in the bodies they always believed they should have. But transitioning isn't about vanity. It's about feeling and believing you are a different gender and getting the procedures done to make their outside match their insides. I believe you can do this. And I believe you want it. But you will have to find the motivation and the desire to do the work and help yourself before it will work. The results you want are 100% within reach, as long as you're willing to change your mindset and do the work. And I know you can, if you want it bad enough.

This is going to be long so bear with me.
First, let’s do the numbers.
Your starting weight post clean out was 251. Your weight now on that same-ish scale is 215, that’s a 36lb loss.
With ESG the average weight loss is about 10-20% of total body weight at a year meaning at 251lbs your average for 10-20% would be 25.1-50.2. Your actual weight loss is 36 for 14.34%.
With ESG the total percentage of total body weight loss at 5 years from one study of 203 patients is only about 14.5% if follow up with providers is recurring most saw their biggest amount lost at 2 years post ESG.
It seems that you’re on track for what that study suggests. I wouldn’t sweat it too much.
Secondly, however I do want to offer some suggestions for food. Focusing on high volume, low calorie foods can offer bulk because you’ll have more to chew. For example- A 100g of cucumber is only 15 calories while 100g of cooked Pasta is 160. If you miss pasta try tofu Shirataki noodles- an entire 8oz package is about 20 calories depending on brand. These can sit a bit heavy though depending on the person.
Salads full of leafy greens, fruits and vegetables with minimal dressing can help you feel full. They also provide crunch which I myself enjoy.
Season your food!- bland food can be boring and unfulfilling and loads of “diet” food recipes lack flavor. Adding spices can help make things you’re eating more enjoyable and trick your brain into being satisfied quicker.
Try roasted chickpeas- 1 can chickpeas drained and rinsed then tossed with garlic powder, paprika, onion powder, and chili powder (if you tolerate spicy) with a tsp of olive oil then baked at 350°F for about 25 minutes makes a great topping for salads while providing Protein and Fiber, both of which help keep you full.
Lastly, make sure you’re following your clinic’s guidelines for liquids before and after meals. Drinking too soon after eating can make you feel hungry sooner and sabotage your hard work. If you can’t bear the thought of giving up liquids with all your meals try soup! broth based Soups are a great way to get in fluids, vegetables, protein, and flavor.

The reason I brought up the Sleeve Plication being different than the standard sleeve surgery is because I wanted to stress that not all weight loss surgeries are equal. After reading more about Sleeve Plication, it sounds a lot like the Lap Band, as in it doesn't do anything except give restriction... and neither surgery offers any changes to hormones. As a former Lap Band patient I personally know how much of a failure Lap Band is for a lot of people. You put in the work, but a majority of people with them never achieve their goal weight. Some surgeries are more powerful than others. So I feel like you're putting in the required work to lose weight, but it might be the surgery itself just isn't powerful enough. I felt like that about the Lap Band when I had it. I watched others lose much faster and more weight than me. It was very frustrating. I'd give the Wegovy a try when it becomes available.
And there's an option to block people here. I find it helpful to not even read the Negative Nancy's. 😉

There is a lot of advice re: the scale and weight issue. Talk to your center and see what they have to say/think.
I'm going to focus on something else: I weighed your starting weight at my wedding, and I looked flipping amazing. It was my wedding. I was marrying the man I love and who loves me. All my family and friends were there and they were all happy for me. I look at pictures from then, and somehow, I do not complain that I looked fat, even though I certainly was still obese. I normally hate most pictures of myself, but I don't feel that way about my wedding because all I can is the happiness from the day and just revel in the happy memories. I am so excited just to get BACK to my wedding weight, much less lower than that.
I say this not to center attention on me, or make you feel bad, but to make the point that you shouldn't fixate on a certain number to make you beautiful or worthy for your wedding. You will have a beautiful day. Clearly, someone loves you and wants to marry you at your original weight, much less at your current one or some future one. Perhaps focus on that, because stressing over a number before your wedding isn't going to increase the likelihood of hitting that goal. In fact, quite the opposite.

Also, did you see he made a passive-aggressive post in the Rants area about this? Ugh.
I'm already screwed up enough. I don't need anything more to make me sad. I need scraps of hope and happiness.

You're not helpful. Most people do not find being told they're doing everything wrong helpful in any way shape or form. Most people find supportive comments more helpful in changing their behavior then "tough love".
And... YOU ARE NOT HER DOCTOR.

God forbid anyone post for encouragement and comfort. Go away, please.

I'll be straight up with you, I have never found a fat person pretty. I'm sorry. I've tried so hard. (Really -- I did my best to date fat folks a couple times because otherwise they were super cool, but my sex drive just cannot work with that. Fat is the opposite of hot to me. I feel bad for those folks having to deal with me. It was over a decade ago haha.)

Don't worry about @Tony B - NJ. He just likes to be unhelpful and mean. Get back in touch with your surgery center and see what they say.

For all the "1200 calories isn't a deficit" -- holy cow, I can't go any lower. I already am too hungry if I don't make 1200. I enjoy food. I am distracted to the point of total non-productivity if I'm too hungry. It's miserable.
I don't eat processed stuff usually. I focus on Protein because carbs leave me too hungry.
My team has been virtual due to Covid so they just know my personal weigh ins.
I regret all of this. I shouldn't have looked at the scale at work. I was so happy. I thought I was pretty at last. I have a wedding in October and am going to look awful...

And now I just want to give up entirely. This is the opposite of helpful. I guess I'm really just bad at everything.

This may sound like a weird question, but which scale did you use to determine your starting weight?
Here is what I mean: if the 251 mark is based on your home scale and your home scale is off by 15 pounds, doesn't that mean you started at 266 on the work scale?

Whoa there @winkydinks. It would be wrong of any of us to make assumptions that this lady is overeating. This persons team has set these quotas and you have to work within the guide lines you have been given. You don't know if this person is or is not following the guidelines.
@Miratia Please use your teams scales as a good guide. They should have them recalibrated very regularly. My advice to you would be track your foods, ring your team and relax. 1200 calories seems a good amount to be eating at 1 year out, Many eat more than that and will chip in here later. Please don't panic.

First thing to remember is you’ve lost weight & inches. Whoo hoo. Celebrate each one of those pounds & inches.
Secondly we all lose at our own rate. There is no one correct amount of weight you have to lose by a certain date. There can’t be as we’re not the same. My physiological make up & medical history is different to yours & everyone else's. There are just averages which should be only be used as a guide to what’s possible not what’s a certainty. Some people are just slow losers & some lose more quickly. Certainly the more you have to lose the faster you lose at first.
1200 calories seems to be quite a common goal for those who are given one & it’s not based on height but is generally considered a low calorie diet. As long as you’re following your plan you’re on the right path.
scales can be different. They are just machines. Even things like the floor they’re on can affect their accuracy. I weigh differently on my scales, my doctor’s scale & my surgeon’s scale. Some of that is what I’m wearing, time of day, whether I’ve pooped, eaten, etc. They keep their starting & progress records & I keep mine. I don’t compare what their scales say to what mine does. As long as the numbers were going down in their records I was happy (now as long as it’s stable I’m happy). Unless you weighed yourself on the work scales at the very beginning you can’t place value in what they say now - nothing to compare it to. You likely would have weighed heavier on them back then too.
So have you failed & f*cked up? No!
PS - Hate to tell you 5’5” is not short but is about average height. In fact in the US the average height for an adult woman is 5’4”.

I was 275 in 2012. I had the sleeve in August 2012. I was down to 200 pounds by December. I have worked hard to keep it off. I am 63 and, as of today, am 190. I have kept it off for 11 years.

The first pic is 2012 before surgery. the next pic is recent.

 

I love this story! Yes, it's funny how "off" my eyes can be sometimes. Just yesterday I was shocked when I fit into new pants that looked WAY too small. This is such a fun process, especially since for so long it was the other way around (not fitting into clothes that looked huge).

Just wanted to update everybody. I did it! I did have some pain right after the surgery, but the nurses gave me something that really worked. I haven't had a ton of pain since. I'm doing good with my fluids and am now 411. I was 429 on the day of surgery. It's awesome!

I was told I can't have anything even Water after midnight the night before my surgery. But, I'm scheduled to be admitted at 7 am which is about 7 hours so maybe it's not that odd?
I would ask the doctor or surgeon that question just to be sure.

I've been knitting since 2010 and crocheting off and on for about the same time. I started while I was university since I couldn't afford my tv licence and I needed something do.
I did much better in my exams the year I took up knitting. I think it was because it involved my hand-eye coordination rather than just watching tv

Yes! Crochet and knitting for me!

I hate eating in restaurants sometimes because I worried that people are watching me eat and thinking "of course the fat girl would be eating that". It's really hard not to see myself that way.
The old expression "If you knew how little they thought of you, you wouldn't care how little they thought of you." is true, but it's hard to remember.