NeonRaven8919

ok...i know this wasn't meant to be funny, but it totally was to me! and just the ridiculousness of it said out loud had me and Mr. laughing (i laughed when i read it, he asked whats so funny, i said "eat a salad obesey!", hilarity ensued...)
but yeah, jokes aside, it is very challenging sometimes to navigate around lots of people's real feelings.
maybe the answer would be for a doctor to ask what word(s) a given patient prefers to use to describe their "condition". highly unlikely to be implemented, im sure, but it would sure make for some funny conversations.
ME: please use the word luscious instead of obese.
DOC writes in records: "patient is morbidly luscious".

^This. All this. Especially the bolded.
I get that confronting your own weight isn't nice, I get it. It's not nice to hear you're obese. But certain people on social media trying to insist it's a "slur" just makes me livid. I have NEVER had people yell "Eat a salad OBESEY!" or yell "OBESE!!!" at me from a passing car. It's a medical term. What hand-holding gently-gently kid gloves term is permissible now that everyone's offended by everything?
Had to rant. It really really gets on my wick.

i feel like any word used as a synonym for "fat" and even more so, "very fat" is often construed as offensive and/or mean. especially by those who are. or were.
a young daughter of a friend of mine maintains that "fat" is a bad word.
i suppose alot of it has to do with how the word fat (or obese or heavy or bigger or overweight or large, etc) is used. but the intended use and the eventual receipt of the word(s) is highly subjective.
given that we are a demographic that is very familiar with all these words, i wonder what word everyone would prefer be used? specifically by medical personnel?
p.s. on another note, now that i am on the other side of things (for now, at least), i bristle when people refer to me as "stick" or "nothing" or, my all time (not) favourite: "skinny b***h". i mean, really. 🙄

Yes! It's used by hospital support personnel much too often. I feel it's a form of degrading, bullying by people who have no understanding or compassion over patients physical struggles. Instead they hold judgement over those patients and have a word they can use without the possibility of being accused of bullying because it's an accepted term.

Late but joining! Definitely the words pouch and forever give me the “ick” even though I’m guilty of using them.

"journey"
"3 week stall"
"only x lbs" (in a dismissive way in referring to lbs lost)
and, similar to @Tomo, i have a pet peeve about the ANGST folks unnecessarily put upon themselves when comparing their own results to others without CONTEXT.
Yes, Sally may drop 30 lbs the first month because she started off at 350 lbs, vs Jane who lost "only" 10 and started off at 200. And yes, Joe, who is also 350 lbs lost 50 lbs, but he is like 8 inches shorter than Sally and is a dude. and there is brenda who lost 5 lbs cuz she has a medical condition and hasn't yet learned how to adjust her lifestyle around it.
we all have the same goal: to lose weight. in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter sh*t if i lost faster/slower more/less than some random stranger on the internet.
*rant over*

100% the word "pouch". It's up there with "moist" for me.
I won't use it. "Smaller stomach" or just plain old "stomach" work fine for me, since I still actually have one despite it's reduced size.
Everything else I'm completely neutral on.

I can't stand to look at photos with an half eaten meal with teeth marks (sandwiches/burgers etc) for some reason it just grosses me out.

I don’t like pouch either. I have a sleeve. It’s still my stomach. Just smaller. Same with bypass. A section of your tummy was detached and joined to the intestines to form a smaller stomach. Again still your tummy. Not some separate thing that was created to digest food. A pouch is for storing things or a place where marsupials carry their young.
I don’t like skinny. Something negative & derogatory about it to me anyway. Much like obese. I prefer slim or small/er.

Ha, ha....that's what my younger sister says all the time whenever my oldest sister talks about dumping syndrome. She just scrunched her faces and says it sounds like a massive poop problem.

Dumping... couldn't they come up with a better word or term for that. Also Pouch is kind of Cringe

I don't like the term, "slider food." It bugs me because it almost makes it sound like a good thing to defeat the surgery by intentionally eating foods that are easy to overeat, and the thought of the food "sliding" down sounds kind of gross as well.

I also hate the word "obese". High cringe factor for whatever reason.

DUMPING. I hate the word. It sounds so much more messy than it actually can be. It just feels graphic lol
Also pre-op people who try to find ways to cheat a program or get out of dieting before they even get the surgery. (tiktok comment sections are flooded with them)

You're talking about the sleeve, right? For rny, there is a pouch because the stomach is bypassed.

Nothing really gives me ick. I do have a pet peeve though concerning wls. People who have too high of expectations. For example, complain they lost "only" 15 lbs a month (that is a whopping 52500 calories less) and blame the surgery when they wouldn't have lost weight at all if it weren't for the surgery and probably would've continued gaining.

So, what things about the bari world/community give you the ick? No idea why, but for me it's the word "pouch" and the concept of having a pouch inside of me -- I'm sure there are good psychological reasons for why most bari professionals use that term post-op, but for me I will always call it my stomach and I feel so much better when other people do too.

That's a really good analogy! Obesity is the only disease people seem to think it's ok to comment about "the easy way out" and it's usually people like my neighbour who is thin as a rail, gains 1kg in a month and shrieks about how fat she's gotten. In other words, people who don't have a clue. If you got a hip replacement so that you could walk without a wheelchair, that's an operation that makes your life easier, but no one says that's taking the easy way out!

Wow. I’m so sorry. I know that has to be a let down. But better they know ahead of it instead of figuring it out after. Trust me. You do NOT want to have a cough immediately post surgery and I’m guessing fighting anything while trying to recover would be a bad thing anyways. I coughed like two times and even shallow coughs hurt so bad I am contemplating skipping my yarn group tomorrow even though they have been my cheering squad through all of this but it’s a pretty small room we meet in and you never know if someone is coming down with something. I do not want to be coughing or sneezing anytime soon.

That's a really good analogy! Obesity is the only disease people seem to think it's ok to comment about "the easy way out" and it's usually people like my neighbour who is thin as a rail, gains 1kg in a month and shrieks about how fat she's gotten. In other words, people who don't have a clue. If you got a hip replacement so that you could walk without a wheelchair, that's an operation that makes your life easier, but no one says that's taking the easy way out!

Well done, you! Seriously, you're doing so marvelously. And you sound so upbeat, content and energized.
Ugh, I was so happy to be off the lansoprazole too. It can cause / add to Constipation, so maybe now that you're off it you'll have that ease off a bit too.

That's a really good analogy! Obesity is the only disease people seem to think it's ok to comment about "the easy way out" and it's usually people like my neighbour who is thin as a rail, gains 1kg in a month and shrieks about how fat she's gotten. In other words, people who don't have a clue. If you got a hip replacement so that you could walk without a wheelchair, that's an operation that makes your life easier, but no one says that's taking the easy way out!

I think the revision has just kickstarted the weight loss again? I'm still pre-op, but I think if you've had the sleeve years ago, the body might be acting as if it's a new surgery?
But congrats on the new progress!

If it was the “easy way out” then people like me wouldn’t need revision surgeries. It’s just a tool and if you don’t do your part it doesn’t work so it’s certainly no magic wand. Don’t wait until your body is in worse shape. Your still young and with a little help you can change you life significantly.

Aside from the fact that they are wrong scientifically and statistically, so what if it was the “easy way out.” Do these people bear their clothes against rocks or use brooms instead of vacuum cleaners? Do they believe that power tools are the easy way out and refuse to use them? The fact is housework still sucks and carpentry is hard regardless of whether you have the best tools or not.

if you think of weight loss As a task like laundry, surgery would be the washing machine. If you only had one or two loads to do you could probably get it done by beating it on rocks and avoid the need for a special machine but when you are obese and have a lot more loads to do you need a washing machine to make it possible to get it all done.

The surgery is just a tool. Just as you don’t wake up from surgery never having to do laundry again, you won’t be able to lye around and eat bon bons and just lose weight. If you don’t do your part for laundry your washing machine will just be a dusty machine in the corner and your laundry will pile up. And like me if you don't do your part with the surgery, you won’t lose what you should and the pounds will start to pack back on.

Be kind to yourself. You have a very complex disease that requires medical intervention. An intervention that you deserve just as much as someone with heart disease needs medication or surgery. Don’t let the ignorance of others stop you from doing what is right for yourself and your life. You deserve all the help you can get to accomplish whatever goal you set out to do and anyone that says that they wouldn’t do the same thing is not really putting themselves in your shoes.

obesity is a very complex condition, and it takes a multi-pronged approach to lose weight. Among other things, there are biological changes which occur when you're obese (people with obesity even have different gut bacteria than people who don't) which make it very difficult to lose weight and especially, keep it off. You have to fight biology to do it, and biology usually wins. Fewer than 5% of people who lose a lot of weight are able to keep it off.
I was in that battle for decades (I'm in my mid-60s - had surgery at age 55). I cannot tell you how many times I lost 15 or 20 lbs, just to have it come back on. On my more successful attempts, I'd lose 50 or 60 lbs - but again, it just came back on - and I had 200 lbs to lose! Surgery was the only thing that ever worked for me. There's a good chance I'd be dead by now if I hadn't had it.
people who've never struggled with obesity have no idea what they're talking about. Listen to your doctor and yourself, and not people who have no clue what they're talking about.

I was sleeved in March of 2015 (HW 405, SW 357, LW 238, sustained 260 for a few years), had some regain where I hit 315, so I went on a hybrid Optifast/Numetra diet through a program at Kaiser (my then insurance in California). It worked well, I dropped about 50 pounds and was happy with that, but then I had some mental health issues including some passive ideation, so I decided to move across country (technically back home) to Delaware and share a living space with my brother and his wife and pets. Since that move I've gained back the 50 pounds I lost, I have another hiatal hernia, and severe acid reflux/GERD so now I'm on the path to revision to bypass.
Thing is, I never wanted bypass, that's why I had the sleeve in the first place, the reworking of my internal plumbing scares the heck out of me! I've known a ton of people who've had it with no issues, but I've also known a couple who passed away from complications (granted, that was 20 years ago, and I know things have improved medically since then). But the idea of having dumping syndrome, and malabsorption, and needing to take Vitamins and supplements forever - UGH - I'm freaking out!! 😨😖
I have an anxiety disorder (SAD & GAD) and my anxiety has been through the ROOF the past few weeks! My surgery date is August 26 - 13 days from today! - and I started my pre-op diet the other day (Monday), but part of me wants to cancel everything! However, there is a part of me that can't wait for the relief from the GERD.
I guess I'm not asking for anything here, mostly just venting my anxiety. 🤣