NeonRaven8919

I'm exactly the same. Even starting to talk to somebody, I would panic wondering how they could really like me, and delete the dating app.
But this is definitely something I want to do.
I want to go to more concerts and music festivals, too. All the standing is painful and makes me not enjoy the show. Less weight on my knees and I can stand longer and do more

You have done amazing. If it wasn't for the tats wouldn't even be sure it was you in the latest pics.

Also maybe you need to change your forum name to ShrinkingZ or PreviouslyKnownas...

Today is my 1 year anniversary since surgery! It has been a wild ride! I am so glad I decided to get the surgery done. I used to get winded just walking up the stairs from my basement. Now I walk between 2-3 miles per night. Next on the agenda, possible skin removal next year and both knee replacements (holding out as long as I can). I have had continuous weight loss, however, I have stalled somewhat but still had small losses during those stalls. Keep on track and use this tool to its full advantages! I have been of Blood Pressure meds since surgery. I may not need my cpap any longer, but I haven't done another sleep study.
STATS:
I have lost a total of 227.2 pounds:
17.25 inches around my chest
32.5 inches around my belly button
27.25 inches around my waist
6.25 inches around my neck
4.5 inches on bicep
10 inches around my upper thigh
4.25 inches on my calf
HW: 469.8
PreOp: 450.6 (19.2 pounds lost)
SW: 430.8 (39 pounds lost)
CW: 242.6 (227.2 pounds lost)

Our NHS gives you the choice of where you can have some surgeries, so for example I can go to a private hospital with my knee surgeries (which I am choosing to do) but I haven’t heard of them using hotels. There again, the choice of hotels where I live is dire so probably safer and more hygienic to keep patients in a hospital!

I think it's to save beds for people really in need that can't walk the short distance to the hotel. My mother had the gastric bypass in 2008 and the sent her to a private hospital because there were too many people and not enough beds. A problem typical of London hospitals and my hospital is right in the centre. I assume in smaller cities it's not necessary.

A lovely, positive read especially for those of us who are just starting out on our WLS journeys 😊 Many congratulations on your ongoing success 🏆

Hello and welcome! Also -- congratulations!! How exciting it must be to be at that stage of seeing the weight peel off, and past the point of initial recovery, and past the point of choosing which surgery to get. I noticed that you chose to go with the sleeve as opposed to the Roux-y surgery. I think that's where I'm likely to begin, myself. I have bounced around, investigating what they call a SADI-s / Loop / SIPS surgery which has an extra component with the intestine beneath the sleeve, often done as a revision of the sleeve for those who regain weight or aren't satisfied with their results. It SEEMS to have fewer side effects than the Roux-y (full gastric) but I just don't know.

I've also been given a fair amount of advice suggesting I try to find an expert to do the duodenal switch (DS) due to my BMI being in the high 50s/low 60s. I'm certainly willing to try to go that route but as someone else said -- there is usually a LOT of back and forth before committing to surgery and I'm almost 7 months into the program I'm at with my current surgeon. How long would it take me, realistically, to get this far again?

WLS is such a difficult and scary commitment, and then getting on here BEFORE having a surgery has filled my brain with so many more complicated options. Its kind of hard for me to commit to big decisions and sometimes I wonder if learning more and more is making matters harder for me. I love to feel in control of what's happening with my body and try to inspect EVERY detail such as to avoid any regrets -- but sometimes staring at the Water for too long makes one less likely to jump in, doesn't it?

But you've DONE it! I think the sleeve is a great option and respect your choice, and am so happy that it has gone smoothly thus far. It could just be my perception, but most of the men I've seen post about their surgeries seem to indeed have a bit more gentle recovery, with fewer complications.

I've seen a lot of folks caution me (this forum and others) about whether I'd be satisfied with the degree of weight loss if I were to go with a base sleeve, Roux-y, or SADI-s. This makes me really appreciate where you talked about that dark spiral and maxing out at 407. I say this as someone who feels like I understand pretty dang well what you're talking about because my max weight was 435! Being 'down' to 366 feels a heck of a lot better by comparison, and I got this far by myself, so maybe I don't need to be as concerned about satisfaction with the numbers as I do making sure I'm comfortable with the process of surgery to help me continue my weight loss journey. Please keep us in the loop as you continue on to your goal!

Also - congratulations to the rest of you posting here who are inches from your goal weight or have already made it there!! No matter what surgery (or surgeries) helped you get there, you DID IT! Definitely an inspirational group of people here!

I'm going back home to the US in November. (I'll be 6 weeks post-op then) I fully plan to take an empty suitcase and hit Walmart and the thrift stores. And also stock up on Tylenol since you can get bottles of 100 over there and only packs of 16 and only 2 at a time here without a prescription. Always handy to have around.

Only being able to eat small portions is very normal & to be expected especially only being 3 months out. Remember how small your tummy is now. Your stomach is also still tight from the surgery but it does soften over time & becomes a little more flexible as so you slowly will be able to eat more than you can in the initial period. Initially I was eating 1/4 - 1/3 cup from purée & was barely eating a cup of food at 6 months but by years two or three I was eating pretty much an appropriate portion of food for e.g, about 3ozs of meat & a cup of vegetables.
Most fast food & chain restaurants servings are hugely bigger (like 2, 3 or more times larger) than what is an actual recommended portion size so leftovers are expected. If eating out, order an appetiser or ask to share a main with someone else. And ask to take leftovers home.
I always had left overs in my fridge from unfinished meals. Actually I still do - right now I have left over rolled oats from breakfast (I’ll eat it as an afternoon snack) and some leftover beef cheeks & vegetables from last night’s dinner. Usually it’s because I’m not all that hungry or simply have had enough.
The reason behind eating slowly is for us to learn to be more conscious of actually eating & to consider whether we really need the next bite or just wanting the next bite or mindlessly shovelling food into our mouths. Also it takes at least 20 minutes for the message you are full to register. If you eat quickly you can easily eat to excess & way past being full and not eating only what you need. I also love my microwave if food gets too cold.
Constipation is common. It becomes less common once you’re close to your final weight & when you’re eating a more balanced diet and larger portions. Add a non swelling soluble fibre and keep on top of the constipation by taking an over the counter medication. I’d take coloxyl if I got to day 3 without movement.
And as @learn2cook suggested, speaking with a therapist (your bariatric team should be able to recommend someone with experience in disordered eating if you need) can be very helpful.
All the best.

Before & after photos

This and I also detest animal print.
To answer your questions. I don't sleep any better. I am old enough to have to get up twice every night to pee, I also have Fibromyalgia so I am constantly changing position to ease my pain. If I had a magic wish, I would love to sleep through the night again.
Now Activity, I am a winner here. I can stand 8 hours behind a very busy charity shop counter once a week and still manage to get home, just about. I walk miles, any excuse and I am off down the road. I never realised how my obesity made me disabled. My walking stick is no longer needed. You will be amazed.
Fashion, I am a late developer here. I hated clothes before. My new love is bright colours and over the knee dresses. I love clothes shopping, actual shopping and not just the online outlets. This big U turn shocked me to the core. I hid and now I want to be seen. People ask where I shop fgs.
Anything you can wish for and many you won't have thought of will become your new life. Its so very amazing. You have the very worst pre op as I have said before but I know in the end its going to be worth it for you. Keep going, you have got this.

My husband is thin as a rail and can only put on a few pounds back In the day by eating fry daddy for dinner and a dozen doughnuts every day. Even then he didn’t gain that much. The best way I could explain it to him how hard it is to not eat when I am hungry was to explain the opposite. I came home with five Big Macs and after he just ate I told him to eat them. I said as much as your body is telling you NOT to eat them Big Macs and it would be almost impossible for you to eat I believe that it’s just as hard for me to ignore my body when it’s screaming out for food. He isn’t superior or less lazy or a harder worker or anything else that skinny people like to think. He is just blessed with good genes. He did nothing to earn or deserve them anymore than we did anything to earn or deserve our bad ones. In retrospect maybe five was a bit of overkill but I really wanted to make a statement. But just like some of us are blessed to be naturally pretty or cute and others are less fortunate in the looks department or some of us have a higher risk for certain. Illnesses, some people are lucky enough to be thin. We may have a tiny percentage or control by dressing a certain way or make up for looks or good preventative medical care for illnesses but ultimately it just is what it is. Now there are others that work at it everyday who are a different story but my husband and it sounds like your neighbor are just blessed. i think i finally got through to him about that.

I wonder if after hearing all of these perspectives if starting with a therapist that specializes in disordered eating may help. You mentioned that you haxe some behaviors that are ingrained from childhood that make things challenging for you and they may be able to help with that. Honestly it will most likely make your even more successful in the long run when you do decide whether surgery is right for you. And if you still don’t want to do it booefully you can lose something with the therapists help. Anything you lose will only make you that much healthier and if survey is the end goal you will just have that much less to lose. My only other suggestion would be that once your even beginning to lean more towards doing surgery that you make your appt and get the ball rolling because it’s a pretty lengthy process and once you do make your mind up if your like many of us the wait seems really long. Actually making that first appointment may hurt either. Make a list of your exact fears and get exact statistics to help you decide. Many of the risks are less than getting in a car and driving. But do yourself a favor and ask what your risks are if obesity related complications too if you do nothing. For most of us doing nothing comes with far greater risk.

I get so angry when I hear people say that WLS is 'the easy way out'. It's not. If it were the easy way out, none of us would need to come on these forums for support.

Some people make it sound like WLS is cheating, a dark and dirty thing. The implication is that we should all be able to do it with diet and exercise, and if we're not doing it that way it's because we're lazy and lack willpower. These people are, frankly, bullies -- even if they don't mean it that way.
I think some people feel threatened by the idea of us having WLS. I have three of them whom are still in my life. One has become more supportive since the surgery but still makes it known from time to time (especially whenever I've facing a struggle) that he didn't think I should have the surgery. The other two were supportive pre-op but as soon as the weight started coming off, jealousy kicked in and they started talking about how 'easy' it was and how they want the surgery but can't afford it / don't qualify, etc -- all while talking about how they would 'cheat' by doing this, this or this.

The people that want to support you, no matter your decision, will support you. They'll read any literature you give them -- or do their own research. They'll ask you questions about the process & the post-op lifestyle and will listen to your response.

There are bound to be people in your life that will need a bit of a learning curve, or who can't get out of their own heads enough to really consider the different between helpful comments/criticism and cattiness/bullying/cruelty. Some might just need a little conversation or confrontation about their phrasing and word choices; others might need to be cut off until/unless they learn to not be sh!tty humans.

At the end of the day -- at the end of every day, actually -- only you can decide what's right for you. You are the only one with full knowledge of your body, your physical/mental/emotional struggles, your trials up until now, etc. Even your doctor can only go so far in helping to decide if this is right for you. Try to push out the words of people who Don't Know your details, or even basic knowledge about the surgeries. Do your own research, talk to people who've done it, consult with your physicians, etc.

❤️ Good luck. Whatever you decide to do, make that choice with the faith and confidence that you're choosing for your best life, whatever that looks like.

That's a really good analogy! Obesity is the only disease people seem to think it's ok to comment about "the easy way out" and it's usually people like my neighbour who is thin as a rail, gains 1kg in a month and shrieks about how fat she's gotten. In other words, people who don't have a clue. If you got a hip replacement so that you could walk without a wheelchair, that's an operation that makes your life easier, but no one says that's taking the easy way out!

I'm supposed to get down to 111kg (244lbs) I started at 123KG (271lbs). I've currently lost 4kg (9lbs) since July 15th. My weight has been fluctuating between 118kg and 120 kg for about a week now.

I think the other thing about the 12 week diet is I am an NHS patient so it's taxpayer funded and it's a teaching hospital so they are more strict on guidelines before surgeries but also I think they are trying new techniques.
I was also asked is I wanted to take part in a trial about dental health on this new pre-op diet which requires everything from blood to a stool sample. I don't mind taking part except now the pretty Spanish periodontist knows I poop!

I don't mind the cold shoulder all the time, but yes it's too much! Either have a sleeve on the top or don't!

Yes! Pockets! Although lack of pockets isn't exclusive to plus sizes. That's just women's clothing in general. They don't want us to have pockets so we can't carry the tools to dismantle the patriarchy! 😂

Of course! That's so typical!

@JennyBeez Exactly! The fashion industry wants all the fat people in muumuus. I guess like a scarlet letter for not fitting the ideal beauty standards?

I've been struggling to keep up with the diet so I thought I would try to focus on all the things that I hope to accomplish from the surgery so that I can remind myself what better times I have to come.
Not just big things like better health but also the smaller things that I think are just as important.
1st: Sleep! I want to lose enough weight to sleep well. I don't have sleep apnoea yet, but my doctor says I'm at risk because of my weight and even without the sleep apnoea, it's still really hard to get comfortable and lying on my back definitely affects my breathing and my spine.
2nd: Activity! I ride my bike everywhere and I enjoy it, but I would love to do other things without pain in my knees. I go to concerts a lot and usually need to stand because no one sits at rock concerts (unless it was like when I went to see the Scorpions last month when the average age of music fan was 56 so it was all seats). Standing for a long time hurts and then I can't enjoy the concert as much as I was hoping. Maybe be able to lose the ebike and get an "acoustic" bike.
3rd: Fashion! Being able to shop at cheaper stores. Plus size clothes comes with a plus size price tag. Years ago, (teenage years) I bought a t-shirt that was a size 16. They had the same t-shirt in the "plus size section" (also a size 16 and the exact same size) and it was £2 extra for the same amount of fabric. And as someone with a more alternative sense of fashion, not a lot of plus size clothes have skulls and flames and vampires and things like that. They tend to make plus size clothes with puppies and kitties and cutesy things. There's nothing cutesy about me.

That's a really good analogy! Obesity is the only disease people seem to think it's ok to comment about "the easy way out" and it's usually people like my neighbour who is thin as a rail, gains 1kg in a month and shrieks about how fat she's gotten. In other words, people who don't have a clue. If you got a hip replacement so that you could walk without a wheelchair, that's an operation that makes your life easier, but no one says that's taking the easy way out!

Yesssssssss thank you! I didn't do this so I could spend the rest of my life still tied up in diet culture bs and I definitely didn't do this to hate a very real and very important part of who I am and what my life is.
There are a couple of doctors on yt who have really great/helpful videos for the most part but when you get to their videos about eating it goes completely off the rails. I saw one the other day recommending intermittent fasting to wls patients! How are you a doctor literally recommending disordered eating habits to patients trusting you to give them evidence-based information about how to eat!

It was totally meant to be funny - I can't help myself, even when I'm attempting a serious point! Maybe "obesey" will catch on.
And I love "morbidly luscious". I think that needs to be adopted immediately.