MrsFitz

I hope you’re feeling a little better now?

I’m glad your appointment went well and it was a positive outcome for you. It’s always a bit disconcerting when you hear so many different things pre-appointment and you worry that you’re doing something wrong! Keep up the good work and celebrate your successes so far - you’re doing amazing 🤩

Hurray! My endoscopy was a success today 😊 No pain, no memory, no issues, all clear ready for the next step on my bariatric surgery. I’m thankful that I was put in for today’s list after someone cancelled as I was told that it was normally a 6 month wait as they on have 1 list per week for deeper sedation with only 4 patients on said list. Here’s a turn up for the books - the snotty Sister from yesterday’s phone-call was at the sister hospital today and sought me out to apologise to me 😮 To say I was surprised is an understatement but I’ve accepted her apology and I’m moving on. Thanks for all the support yesterday. It meant the world to me and showed me that I wasn’t being unreasonable. 💜

Went for my endoscopy this morning…it did not go well ☹️ I freaked out completely - crying, retching, honestly thought I’d wet myself as I got in such a state (thanks pads) They tried twice, the first time they didn’t get the camera down past my throat. The bloke (don’t know his official name) who was doing it was lovely, no issues with him, talked me through it etc. The nurses I wasn’t too keen on but that wasn’t anything major. The second time they tried, he got the camera in to my stomach but I started freaking out again - just the feeling of it at the back of my throat even though I’d had throat spray to numb. At this point the nurses tried holding me in place (for want of a better explanation) and that undid me completely. I have never reacted to anything like that before. I think it’s massively triggered something from childhood that I certainly wasn’t prepared for and it’s really thrown me. One of the nurses wasn’t happy as I’d either scratched or nipped her when she’d tried to keep me in place. I just felt completely dismissed by both nurses because the procedure was a fail, which didn’t help with my reactions either. I’ve battered the living daylights out of one of my knees so I’m in agony from that plus I’m feeling very tearful. The nice man said I could be booked in for sedation-type thingy but it didn’t sound as though it was a case of being knocked out, more ‘spaced out’ if that makes sense? He said it should hopefully take the edge off but I don’t think that’s going to work. I’ve rung the unit since getting home in order to speak to a nurse regarding different types of sedation and I’m just waiting for a call back to discuss. I want to be knocked out, it’s very simple. I can’t go through the freaking out again. In the grand scheme of things, I didn’t have negatively reacting to an endoscopy on my list of things that would screw me up on this WLS journey.

Do you have any idea of the kinds of temperatures you could be looking at so you can plan around that? We generally go to Cyprus in mid September and the temps can be mid-40s. Have a look at Superdrug for Lanacane anti-chafing gel https://www.superdrug.com/health/medicated-skin/medicated-skin-treatments/lanacane-anti-chafing-gel-28g/p/687900 I would also have a look for some mozzie repellent too as you don’t want to be bitten to death! Lots of stores are having a sale now, especially as our summer has been a complete washout. Have a look at Roman - 60% off sale plus use the code EPIC for a further 15% off everything (got to love a discount code 😉) The Next sale began at the weekend, Tu has up to 50% off brands, George (Asda) have their sale on plus Debenhams always have some sort of sale on! Thin, floaty things are always a winner as already mentioned by others. Thin tops and loose shorts are good for daytime, just be careful on sitting on hot, plastic seating outside cafes etc as you can end up leaving the skin off the back of your thighs behind (definitely speaking from experience with that one 🙄) A hat is a must as well as some high factor sun cream to begin with. Tescos dry oil is pretty good - you don’t end up feeling horribly sticky with it; Boots have sun cream and after sun that has insect repellent already in and doesn’t stink. A pack of one a day over the counter antihistamines are really useful if you suffer from prickly heat (or if you don’t normally but start with it on holiday) Take it with you as it’s generally expensive abroad, same with paracetamol. More importantly, have a totally wonderful time and revel in your fantastic weight loss to date!

First they use throat spray to numb so you’re fully awake. If that’s not successful then it’s the twilight sedation and then fully knocked out as a last resort. Probably a money saving strategy so they don’t have to have an anaesthetist on call 🤷‍♀️ Hubby had throat spray and was fine, however I wasn’t!

Oh I have lots and lots of thoughts too but I’m at a different hospital tomorrow so I will put it to one side for now. Unfortunately (for them) I was given a feedback form to complete as I was leaving today so, once I’m back on an even keel I will be giving them my thoughts 😏 I managed to juggle my knee X-rays tomorrow (back at original hospital) As long as I can get to the department by 4pm I will be seen. If I had to rebook then they are looking at the end of August/beginning of September as apparently COVID is doing the rounds once again. Dinner, chill and a relaxing bath I think…

Thanks everyone. I’ve had a call back from a Sister from the unit. They are really lacking in empathy. I felt I was being patronised and being accused of going in this morning with the attitude that it was going to be difficult. Actually, no I didn’t. I had no concerns at all, hubby had an endoscopy last Friday for something else and it was very simple and straightforward for him. I was expecting the same - why would I expect anything different?? It took some effort to get the Sister to actually have some understanding of what I was trying to say, and even then she wasn’t convinced I don’t think. I tried to remain calm but it wasn’t happening. I think it was me saying that if I reacted the same was next time under the ‘spaced out’ sedation then I will take myself off the Bariatric surgery list. I think this finally made her realise how serious I was. She’s now putting a note on to whoever’s list I am on to request an anaesthetist procedure so I am completely knocked out. Apparently it will cause a delay going forward with the bariatric surgery etc as there’s a long wait but so be it. UPDATE: Just had a call to see if I wanted to go to the sister hospital tomorrow morning for 8am for a fully knocked out endoscopy - YES PLEASE!! The relief 😊

Do you change up your workouts? I’d read somewhere years ago that you need to change them every 6 weeks or so as your body gets used to what you’re doing. Can you change your reps/sets? The amount of weights you’re using? Try something completely different? I had to keep doing this and it did work for me so maybe it’s something that could work for you too? I remember I stopped working out for a couple of weeks and dropped 7lbs 🤷‍♀️ Our bodies are weird!

Is this the same if you’re on HRT I wonder? Pre-HRT I would have quite happily stabbed hubby just for breathing too loudly and I honestly thought I was going mad - anger, tears, emotions all over the place. Really weird when I’ve generally been relatively sane previously! HRT has calmed all that down but I’d be interested in hearing from menopausal weight-droppers 🤔

Thank you @ShoppGirl @Bypass2Freedom and @JennyBeez for you lovely, thoughtful words. I really do appreciate your comments. The clothes came - the shift dress that I thought would be OK is massive and the jumpsuit that I thought would be too tight fits perfectly so go figure 🤷‍♀️ Annoying though when you buy the same size from the same brand and there are massive discrepancies. So, dress is going back and I’ve ordered a couple of things from the sale at Roman for less than half the price of the dress I’m sending back 🙂 @ShoppGirl I have to say that my hubby is being fully supportive. There are obviously times when I want to smother him with a pillow but not over this. He is onboard with what I am trying to do so no complaints from me over that. He just wants me to feel good about myself and get some confidence back I think. I did take your advice and ordered some new, dressy shoes (backless so if my feet do shrink again, it won’t matter!) I hope that the metabolic changes from the op really do kick in and work in tandem with the other changes we make. I know the op is a positive thing that we’re doing both for our physical and emotional wellbeing. @Bypass2Freedom Definitely seek food to ‘soothe’ when in meltdown mode. It is difficult to lose weight and keep if off. I hate, with a passion, those that patronisingly say “oh, you just have to eat less and move more”…OH REALLY?? 🤬🤬🤬 Well tell my metabolism that you arsehole. Continually dieting just screws your metabolism up, I’m sure of it. I’m hoping that the op acts as an internal reset button so my body stops acting against me and works with me for a while. I do know I need to stop being so harsh on myself…old habits and all that 🙃 @JennyBeez Yes, to camouflage, yes to self-sabotage. I know what started my weight issues and disordered eating. Food was used as a punishment when I was growing up (amongst other things) I won’t go in to detail as I don’t want to trigger anyone but I have undergone counselling etc. I did lose approx 100lbs around 12 years ago and then immediately started with Rheumatoid Arthritis which threw a massive spanner in to my works! My focus went from weight and gym visits to meds, hospital visits, X-rays pain and tests. Weight went back on, Osteoarthritis decided to join the party and then recently Fibromyalgia because why not?? Did I choose any of that? NO! Looking at it all dispassionately, I can see that I was angry with my body - I’d done the major weight loss, I was at the gym 5 days a week because I loved it, I was happy with myself and then I felt that I was kicked in the teeth without rhyme or reason. I know that WLS won’t make everything go away but hopefully it will make things easier to handle and get me moving once again. I miss the gym like you wouldn’t believe and I’m just hoping that I can get going to it once again for my physical and mental health. Working on my mindset is definitely a work in progress.

The scales have bounced around all over the place this week 😬 These things happen so I won’t stress out about it… I’ve been trying to sort out what clothes I’m taking on our 3 day trip to London. It’s a 5* hotel with restaurants to match, plus we’re going to the Royal Opera House too so want to look as though we’ve made an effort. I don’t actually have any ‘nice’ clothes. I seem to have a wardrobe of ‘it fits, it will do’ plus a load of holiday/summer clothes that are too small at present. I bitched at hubby (not his fault, he was just there in the firing line) and then freaked out. Hubby wanted me to have a look for some new clothes. I’m totally no good at spending money on clothing for myself, I just don’t see the point. I won’t try anything on in a store, so that was out. So, it’s online shopping. I found a couple of sites but I was getting myself in a state and I just balked at the whole thing. I was snapping at hubby and, to be fair, he took it quite calmly. Anyway, I finally got myself calmed down. I found something I liked, he found something he liked, both were in the sale at Phase Eight so I’ve ordered and they are due to be delivered this afternoon. Hubby knows not to be around me when I’m trying something on. Hopefully things will fit (gone up a size from what I think I am, just in case) but if they’re too big, they will go back and if they’re too small hubby wants me to keep them to wear when I do lose some more weight. I’ve also ordered a nice combo from good old M&S too, ready to pick up tomorrow. Clothing really does stress me out. Being fat is one thing but I don’t want to look like a clown as well. I feel shamed and embarrassed when clothes that should fit no longer do. It’s just that, for whatever reason, the shame and embarrassment doesn’t transfer into positive action in reducing my weight. Ridiculous I know. I’m a grown woman who can tell you all the ins and outs of a low carb/high protein diet plus a fair few others so why can I put that knowledge in to long term action?? Why is it taking WLS to motivate myself?? Maybe it’s because I will be answerable to someone else ie the hospital? Something to discuss anyway when I have my dietitian appointment in August. Anyway, Endoscopy tomorrow and knee X-rays on Wednesday. Off to visit the grandchildren on Saturday so that’s definitely something to look forward to 🙂 Hope everyone has a positive start to their week. Onwards and Downwards!

Have you tried Protein water? I use one here that’s 10g per 500ml and is easy to get down. I’m sure there will be something similar where you live. Can you mix some protein powder with your milk? That would be protein from milk and also from the powder. Can you get low salt bouillon? I know it’s difficult but hopefully the next few days flyby for you and Monday will be here soon enough. Good luck!

V8 is medium high for salt, so I would think the occasional glass would probably be OK. Have you been given any guidance by your doctor on what you can have as part of your liquid diet? Requirements seem to differ from doctor to doctor, never mind country to country! In the UK it’s referred to as a liver reduction diet as it’s supposed to help the surgeon. If we use just a liquid diet with my hospital, it’s recommended that something like Slimfast/meal replacement shakes are used. Sorry I can’t be of any more help, hopefully others will be able to give you more guidance

Check the salt content in the bone broth as this can cause water retention

I’m glad you have someone to talk to about your experiences and that you’re finding it helpful. It may be baby steps but they will eventually lead you to a happier, more contented place where you will be able to put the horrible experience behind you and finally enjoy the positive benefits of your weight loss 🙂

Congratulations on your loss, I’m glad something positive has come out of the horrible experience you have had. Would it be worth talking to someone who specialises in PTSD? A year isn’t long, especially as you spent 4 months in hospital with all the attendant stresses on both yourself and your family. Be kind to yourself. Sometimes we’re harder on ourselves than we would be with others in the same situation 💛

I had seen something similar to this but using a coin and an elastic band.

I used to make something we called ’magic quiche’ which may be something you could make. Used to serve to the family so you may want to reduce ingredients sizes if you want to make something smaller. 4 - 6 good size servings - adjust recipe to suit Large Onion 6 x Medium Eggs, 4 x Low Fat Bacon Medallions 45g Mature Grated Cheddar 150ml Lighter Crème Fraîche or Cottage Cheese 100g Tomatoes, sliced 100g White Mushrooms, Raw salt/pepper/herbs of choice 1) grill bacon, roughly chop when cool 2) lightly fry onions in frylight spray or 1 tablespoon of water until soft, add mushrooms and cook through 3) beat eggs and crème fraiche/cottage cheese together, add seasoning and herbs of choice 4) add bacon, onions, mushrooms to a large rectangular Pyrex/non-stick dish 5) pour on egg and crème fraiche/cottage cheese mix 6) arrange sliced tomatoes on top, sprinkle on grated cheese 7) place in oven for approx 25 mins at 180 degrees (UK temps) until nicely brown 😎 slice in to 4/6/whatever portions when cool 9) keeps well for 3 days or so in a sealed container in the fridge, wouldn’t recommend freezing You can add whatever veggies you like eg peppers, broccoli etc, add ham or chicken in place of or in addition to bacon.

You don’t look the same person! You’re not a ‘tick-box’ exercise, you’re an amazing person who has managed something so few would ever. Does this physician actually know you? Has she been with you from the beginning of your journey?? Has she cheered you on? Congratulated you? Supported you? If she hasn’t then find another. No one should have such negativity when they have achieved so much success and have other medical professionals being so happy with everything too. Don’t let this person rain on your parade, go out and dance to celebrate your successful journey instead 😉

I think I’m entering my ‘stall’ period now. Having had numerous attempts at weight loss in the past, I know my body sulks between week 3 and week 7. I’m just beginning week 5 so the timing is bang on. My weight has gone up 1.5lbs from my lowest weight this week but it happens so I will just keep on keeping on. Once my body has got over its sulk the weight should start coming off once again. A couple of NSV this week. I don’t know about anyone else but my clothing sizes can be a bit all over the place. One size of clothing can have 3 meanings for me, depending on what it’s made of. So, for example, there’s the ‘I’m kidding myself’ sizing - plenty of give, elasticated, stretchy material. It may say 22 but I know it’s really a 24+. There’s then the ‘huh, it’s not too bad’ sizing - some give, not that stretchy, a definitely generous 22, and then there’s the ‘unforgiving’ sizing - no give, no stretch, no elasticated waist etc, a definite 22. For long enough I’ve been at the ‘I’m kidding myself’ stage but I went shopping in my wardrobe and found a couple of tops with no give, a definite 22. Tried both on - they fit!! And they didn’t look like sausage skin!! Very happy dance around the bedroom! I also went out of my comfort zone at the weekend and bought myself a size 22 no-stretch denim maxi skirt. I can fasten it, just, but don’t rate my chances of sitting down and/or breathing in it 😮‍💨 However, I’m keeping it as I know I will fit in to it comfortably at some point. We’re off to London for a few nights in 3 weeks or so, so fingers crossed it may fit a little better by then 🤞🤞 Meds have finally been sorted and delivered, had my Oximetry test last week so hopefully that’s gone well. No Bariatric appointments this week but I have my endoscopy next week plus knee X-rays for my arthritis. Food wise things are going OK. My new favourite thing is Lindhals Stracciatella Kvarg protein yoghurt - oh, I could eat barrels of the stuff! I’ve also tried the Warburtons Protein Power bread as a change to the whole meal. It’s definitely nice as a change but doesn’t want to make me eat lots and lots of it, which is a definite plus! Hope everyone has a great week… Onwards and Downwards!

I weigh myself everyday more or less, always have done when trying to lose weight. I can’t say I go off the rails when the scales don’t show me what I’m hoping for whereas I know other people may be adversely affected so it’s all down to personal choice. As to when I weigh - post-bathroom/pre-food & drink 🙂 I don’t think it really matters as long as you are consistent with when you weigh yourself. I’ve known of people weighing in the evening just before bed 🤷‍♀️ I think we all have our own little quirks and habits 😉

I’ve just bought some of these off Amazon - 6 or 7 different types, some fancy, some quite plain and all for around £8. I bought them to help with cardis, jackets etc.

I knew bless your heart was an insult 😳 Plus others I have learned from reading/watching such as Sweet Magnolias. Love learning other people’s sayings and things. We also say cossie, swimmers and togs in our household too @Arabesque Hubby lived in Aus in his late teens/early 20s and he has family out there too. He still has the occasional’twang’ 🙂

Me and hubby have had this food conversation recently. On my list is Pizza Hut, a fillet steak dinner and a chippy tea. Other than that, I can’t really think of anything else that I would want, maybe a burger at some point but I think everything else can wait and be adapted post-op or shared with hubby (though not chippy tea as he hates it 😳) We are off to London soon, staying in a posh hotel for 3 nights so I know that I will probably lose the run of myself come breakfast time! I’ve already scoured food places around where we’re staying and around Covent Garden. Greek is on the list and booked as I like chicken souvlaki, which I know is a relatively good choice. Other than that I will just play by ear. I know it’s our last break away for a long time so yes, there will be some indulgences but I will still try and keep some form of control!