nursekathy2u

Jules, My story is similar except I had no kids and I did divorce my husband after his 4th affair. I am 5'10" and weighed about 190 when I met my husband. When i divorced him I was about 280. He lied to me about how he felt about my weight throughout our entire marriage. When I would ask him about it he would say it didnt bother him. Only in marriage counselling did the truth come out and he said he didnt tell me because he didnt want to hurt my feelings. Apparantly he thought the better thing to do was to have 4 girlfriends, thereby NOT hurting my feelings!!!! By that time the damage was done.. the trust was gone.. and I lost all respect for that man. So I left him... How pitiful that i stayed with him thru 4 affairs because I was afraid of being on my own. A 32 year old fat girl.. it seemed to me I would never marry again or even have a boyfriend... I felt like it was my fault that he cheated because he was not attracted to me anymore because of my weight.. I was so angry at him for lying to me for 5 years instead of giving me that chance to lose weight when I didnt have 100 pounds to lose!! Not that I would have or could have lost the weight but at least I would have been given the chance to try to repair something that was obviously bothering my husband. We have a food addiction.. like your husband says he likens it to drug abuse. now that may not be a fair association but that is HIS perception. I relate this again to my husband.. He was addicted to pornography.. He didnt think it was a problem but i was disgusted by it. Two different perceptions of the same thing caused by each persons previously life experiences, morals, beliefs etc. You cannot change him or make him feel a certain way. The only person you can control is yourself. You cant really even control your own child. Each person is going to feel, do, act the way they want to no matter what you do or say. I am doing allot of rambling here but I guess what I am trying to say is this.. Your lucky(?) that he has been honest about how he feels about your weight so you can attempt weight loss to see if it helps your marriage.. BUT>>> Dont base your marriage on your weight. Examine it closely.. Is it a good marriage except for that one area?? Is it worth saving?? Do you feel good in your marriage except for that one area?? Do you love, trust and respect your spouse?? You really have to do some soul searching.. and you need to have a lap band placed for YOU.. not for him.. because even a skinny wife may not make him happy. He feels deceived by you and may never trust that you might not "get fat" again. If that is the case the marriage will be in trouble.. And you will continue to suffer from poor self esteem, guilt, shame, etc. Life is so short honey.. Do you deserve more from your spouse? Do you deserve to feel good about yourself?? Do you deserve to be loved not matter what?? Absolutely you do. Get some counselling.. get your lap band.. and sort yourself out.. He will either follow your lead or you can kick him to the curb!! BY the way.. I didnt date for 5 yrs after my divorce.. i just couldnt i was too angry.. but I did finally start dating.. men DO date fat girls.. and I have been remarried for 2.5 yrs to a great guy.. there are good men out there!!! Thank God!!!

Well I totally blew it yesterday which would have been day #3. Had chips and hot sauce, lasagna, and hamburger and fries.. Thanks to all the replies I am determined to go back on it full force today and continue!! Im sick of sweet and creamy stuff so Im going to try my hand at V8 juice and chicken broth. Does anyone else have any suggestions for non sweet and non creamy thing??? Oh.. and whats the deal with the horrible taste in my mouth????? Starving in Texas, Kathy

Hi Kenny, The insurance process of getting approved can be very taxing.. Some insurances will pay for lap band surgery on patients with a BMI of 35 or greater with comorbidities but your BMI has to have been greater than 35 for at least 5 years. Which insurance plan are you on? My surgeon is Dr. David Kim at North Hills Hospital in North Richland Hills Texas.. He is WONDERFUL and a very good surgeon.. Dr. Carter Saved my sisters life when she had Breast Cancer at 31 so i thnk the world of him too. Dr. Sewell is also someone I have worked with in the past and I really respect him as a surgeon as well.. There are some good choices in this part of the US. We are lucky!! Kathy

Karen, Burning in your throat is not an uncommon sensation when you are having reflux. This is caused by acid from your stomach backwashing into your esophagus. When you feel it in your throat it is actually a referred sensation from your esophagus, right where it connects to your stomach. Maalox should help short term but it sounds like you need and acid blocker type medication.. I your already on one you may need a stronger dose. Kathy

Hi everyone!! I am scheduled for surgery on April 13th with Dr. David Kim at North Hills Hospital. I've been waiting a long time for this day and now after reading some of the posts on here I am FREAKING OUT :omg: .. Any reassurance would be greatly appreciated. How is the post op pain? What can I expect the first few weeks? Thanks, Kathy