Jalapeño

"also fear having to eat in public or in front of those that do not know I have had surgery."
Isn't it a shame that with all the push these days to accept everyone for who/what they are, its still acceptable to fat shame and be judgemental of others for a medical condition?
Its the one thing left that people deem an "acceptable" judgement because people feel its all our fault - as if we just pushed away from the table more people wouldn't be over weight. Judgemental people continue to do so without societal repercussions. I've seen the same people jump on someone for saying things about being judged for them being LGBQ, yet these same ppl said some nasty things to me and others for being obese!
Everyone should be able to go out and enjoy dining out without fear of being watched. I too understand why you'd fear this, but you need to get to a point in your life that others opinions of you just don't matter, especially strangers. Once you get there it can be quite liberating! You deserve to enjoy your life without others condemning your living it!

It's really hard to deal with some of the changes. I remember a really rough night. In waves a snapple peach tea. I was like 1 month out so o
I drive to store and all I can find is diet snapped lemon. I bought that and like one other diet tea and brought them home. Remember this was about 22 years ago now. I opened the Snapple (glass bottle) took a sip, hated it and just lost it. I was outside my apartment building and threw the bottle out of frustration. It hit the building, shattered and I started crying so hard, over an iced tea I could have made at home if i had thought about it really. But I was so upset it was after me hating so many sugar-free items. I was just so frustrated. Fast forward to today and I found things I like and have adapted slowly!

You are really in the early days of your surgery and (totally normally) having to adjust to that.
If you can wait a bit longer before eating in public then do. If not, just order a small meal or a starter. You can (if you want/need to) say "I ate earlier" or "I'm just not that hungry today" to anyone who is nosey enough to push you. You'll be surprised at how few people do though! Just eat what you can/want and take the rest home. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

Only being able to eat small portions is very normal & to be expected especially only being 3 months out. Remember how small your tummy is now. Your stomach is also still tight from the surgery but it does soften over time & becomes a little more flexible as so you slowly will be able to eat more than you can in the initial period. Initially I was eating 1/4 - 1/3 cup from purée & was barely eating a cup of food at 6 months but by years two or three I was eating pretty much an appropriate portion of food for e.g, about 3ozs of meat & a cup of vegetables.
Most fast food & chain restaurants servings are hugely bigger (like 2, 3 or more times larger) than what is an actual recommended portion size so leftovers are expected. If eating out, order an appetiser or ask to share a main with someone else. And ask to take leftovers home.
I always had left overs in my fridge from unfinished meals. Actually I still do - right now I have left over rolled oats from breakfast (I’ll eat it as an afternoon snack) and some leftover beef cheeks & vegetables from last night’s dinner. Usually it’s because I’m not all that hungry or simply have had enough.
The reason behind eating slowly is for us to learn to be more conscious of actually eating & to consider whether we really need the next bite or just wanting the next bite or mindlessly shovelling food into our mouths. Also it takes at least 20 minutes for the message you are full to register. If you eat quickly you can easily eat to excess & way past being full and not eating only what you need. I also love my microwave if food gets too cold.
Constipation is common. It becomes less common once you’re close to your final weight & when you’re eating a more balanced diet and larger portions. Add a non swelling soluble fibre and keep on top of the constipation by taking an over the counter medication. I’d take coloxyl if I got to day 3 without movement.
And as @learn2cook suggested, speaking with a therapist (your bariatric team should be able to recommend someone with experience in disordered eating if you need) can be very helpful.
All the best.

I’m three years out from RNY and from my experience, you’re normal. There’s multiple threads on here, some very old, but the info is the same. I like having a restriction, but at this point, I think I have a cup full of food all smashed (like salad can be very smooshed). My sassy response if someone questions my smaller portions (most don’t) , “I’m watching my figure.” At this point I don’t know who cares so I will tell some people, mostly older than 35 year olds, because they have battled the bulge and know the struggle.

Unfortunately you live in a highly visual youth due do constant cameras and video. It’s also normal for 18-29 year olds to expound upon all the great minds and debate things to infinity. (No shade, I did it too.) You could be caught in the crosshairs of some well meaning people who think you’ve suddenly gone “anna.” I practiced some short quick phrases that shut down nosy people. “I’m working with a doctor.” “My dietitian suggested this.” “I’m doing this on purpose with a medical team for my health.”

And the biggest help was getting a therapist. I was terrified of eating in public before WLS. Investing in my health and wellness (all of me) was and is very important. You are very important!

I'm 22 years post op and still can't finish a plate. My food gets cold too. But I knew that restriction would be apart of my life before I had surgery. Are you prioritizing Protein and getting your Vitamins in at least? I've battled with malnutrition a lot.

I can tell you that your life will get better as a result of being lighter, but you will need to mentally adjust to the other changes that will occur. Wishing you all the best.

@NickelChip I genuinely think that this is one of the most useful and altogether grounding pieces of advice I have had on this site, thank you so much.
You are right - it is so easy to think that everything we read on here is the 'norm' but most people tend to come on here to see if the issues they are having are the same as others out there, and you don't really see too many of the successes! ...perhaps there is room for a specific thread just around general successes, or things that are going well right now!
I will definitely use that when I next get anxious, because you are right when you say that - not everyone is suffering! And this surgery is common enough that so many people go on to live happy and healthy lives.
I think with my Autism I can get really caught up in the small things and I end up going around in circles! But your advice has genuinely brought me back down to Earth.

Don’t stock up too much on Protein drinks if you can help it. Your tastes may change a little post up and tastes for sweets is a common change. I suggest going to a convenience store to get a variety of flavors in singles serves or the four packs they have at Walmart. Enough to get you through a week would probably be safe. Then you can place a grocery order for pickup on your way home from your post op appt for the ones you actually do like or order them from Amazon. (Make certain they have your brand ahead of time of course). If you do get some that are too sweet post surgery don’t toss Them right away though. Once you can have caffeine they may not be so bad mixed with coffee. Either a little as creamer in a hot coffee or more mixed with iced coffee for a “proffee” If you don’t have anyone that can get them for you if your recovery takes longer Maybe buy ahead just in case but save your receipt
You may also want to be sure you have something on hand for Constipation if your team didn’t tell you to already.

You don’t need to take a lot with you to the hospital. All you really need is your phone charger and some Chapstick and your toothbrush and your hairbrush and slippers if you wear them. You could wear the same clothes home from the hospital that you wore to the hospital because you’re really not going to be in them for very long.

Good luck! Your life is going to change now for the better!!

Hi 👋 currently at the pre op anesthesia appointment with a mild cold and scared my surgery would be postponed (even tho it's for my safety) but I think I am already mentally ready for it so I just want to get it over with. From where j am, there is no pre op diet. I just get into it so I've been having mini food funerals ..
I am ready to do it and I'll need ur support because my negative mind gets the best of me. (What if I don't lose weight? What if I regain it all? What if .....)
My operation is confirmed for 15th Aug (if I pass the anesthesia today)
Wish me luck

I believe that with bariatric surgery, excluding the lap band, everyone's stools smell a lot worse. I originally had the mini gastric bypass and honestly, when sat on the toilet passing stools, I'd almost pass out from the smell, it was that nauseating. Nothing ever reduced the smell, even dietary changes. These procedures are very powerful and alter the digestive anatomy.

With sleeve, I don't think there is a real issue when it comes to foul smelling stools. But with mini gastric bypass and sadi etc, it's off the charts.

For me, I can't really have another decent sized meal until I've used the toilet... This is coming from an RNY patient. Everyone's anatomy and post surgery results will be different. This is the reason why weight loss surgery results can not be replicated for each patient. One patient may have problems with one thing while another patient who underwent the same surgery won't.

My advice to everyone is to first trial the glp1 type drugs and see if it helps with weight loss. Maintaining the weight loss will be a lifetime commitment no doubt. But it's much better than having drastic bariatric surgery. Why change your anatomy if drugs can do the trick. So if your insurance covers weight loss medication, please consider that route first. Weight loss surgery does improve one's quality of life, but it has its fair share of drawbacks too.

You will benefit from SADI specific Multi Vitamins, because the dosage for each Vitamin will be higher compared to the RNY for example.

I believe that with bariatric surgery, excluding the lap band, everyone's stools smell a lot worse. I originally had the mini gastric bypass and honestly, when sat on the toilet passing stools, I'd almost pass out from the smell, it was that nauseating. Nothing ever reduced the smell, even dietary changes. These procedures are very powerful and alter the digestive anatomy.

The only time I vomited post revision was when I had a stricture. It was after every meal and I wasn’t over eating so that was a big clue that something was not right.
Are you over capacity when this happens, just certain foods or every time?

At 3 months out, I'm still between 1/2 cup to a cup per meal, depending on what it is. Thinner and wetter dishes are better tolerated for me; if I have a 2oz turkey burger patty, I can eat one or two bites of cooked vegetables -- but if I have that same amount of patty with gravy or ground up in a stew/chili/etc, I can stomach a bit more veg.

At 2 months -- and even now at 3 -- the texture of food seems to affect me more than the quantity. Anything too dry (including both white and dark poultry for some reason) induces vomiting and/or dumping syndrome. Egg whites. Even when I think it's moist, often my body argues back and proves me wrong.

I've heard from so many people -- on this forum, in my program support group, from my care team -- and it will get easier and better as time goes by, both in terms of portions and foods becoming less irritating, usually around the 1 to 2 year mark. Some people can never go back to a few certain foods, others can eat pretty normally.

Bear through it. Cater to your tummy's tantrums when you need to -- move into soft food as slowly as you need to. Make your meal half puree and half soft if it helps (pureed sweet potato or really well mashed cauliflower/potato is a great side dish to help your Protein get down).

I spoke with my surgeon today and was glad I'd read a few people's experiences with trying to get the SADI-s/Loop! I felt knowledgeable enough to discuss the difference and did encounter a bit of pushback as though they really wanted me to just go along with the game plan rather than introducing a new obstacle of insurance pre-approval before being able to move forward. Which, from their perspective, I completely understand.

The surgeon told me at different points that 'there wasn't much difference' and implied I'd need more Vitamins than with the Roux-Y surgery. I'm glad I read several medical studies and the Centre for Bariatric recommendations that this surgery be approved by insurance, explaining how for some folks it is MORE beneficial. I may have to get to the SADI-s/Loop via a two step method; getting the sleeve and later a modification (if not satisfied) to the SADI-s/Loop. Time (and insurance requirements! will tell!)

It's definitely worth it to feel informed and in control of what choice I'm making regarding such a major surgery. I did make sure to let him know that I appreciated working with him and tell him that I certainly didn't consider myself an expert because of things read on the internet, and that I made sure to read reputable medical journals. I feel like he was much less dismissive after I spoke at length enough to make it clear that I actually knew what I was talking about.

@DanM I can eat like a horse. The only consequence is bloating and gas if I eat too much fat or carbonated beverages. Since I love Ice Cream, I eat it every day and also have a small bottle of Coke. It does cause gas which is eliminated every morning with the usual major morning bowel movement. I also eat a lot of chocolate but otherwise I'm mostly a heathy eater including tons of fruits and Protein.

I can eat virtually anything or any amount of calories. The downside of overeating is pooping it out multiple times in a day, along with gas and sometimes bloating when I eat too much fat or dairy. To be fair, as absolutely fantastic and awesome as I look for an old fart, I have the downside that anyone who loses weight has:
1) You look anorexic and cancer like for at least awhile, maybe forever. I'm in the middle somewhere.
2) Loose skin - anything north of 100lbs is a guarantee of wrinkly loose skin in many places. I have it but it's not as bad as many others experience. PLastic surgery to remove it is always a possibility if it bothers you.
3) I take Vitamins daily, but no where near as much as any Hess DS patient.

Since I started my weight loss journey 2 years ago with my first surgery, he decided to change his eating and exercising habits. I lost 200 pounds in 2 years, he lost 66 pounds in 2 years. We're both absolutely thrilled
My A1c went from 7.9 to 5.0, no more more high bp or diabetes or high cholesterol (mine went from 249 to 170). His A1c went from 12.8 (yes you read that right) to 5.9, no more high bp, and his cholesterol went from 266 to 194.
I went from a size 30/5x to a size 14/XL. He went from a size 52 waist to 42. And from a size 3x shirt to XL.
And we go on 3+ mile walks together twice a week and he works out for an hour to an hour and a half twice a week with me (I work out above and beyond that). He's changed about 80% of his eating habits. He's more confident and happier, as am I .
It certainly helps when you have a supportive spouse that wants to better themselves because they see you doing well and get inspired. That's what he told me

That is something that’s still in the back of my mind. I have heard mixed things about them though. I plan to speak with the surgeon about them before I make my final decision.