BlueParis

Hi all! I'm finally on vaccation and wrapped up my job! It has been a hectic month to say the least, My feet barely touched the ground! I'll check in tomorrow and am looking forward to taking the time to read all of your updates....

Ive made it to my cute little music festival in the Loire valley. And I really feel happy and at peace for the first time in a long time while being around a lot of new people - I’m not ashamed of my body or of how I move. And I also realised that I’m happy grazing little bits of food and sitting down for a meal with people and not feeling the need to stuff myself but also not feeling like I’m missing out. I wanted to share this with you folks because the last few months have been quite (very) tough at times and you’ve been my sounding board and holding me up. I know my journey is far from over and that the road ahead is a long and winding one, but… I have no doubts that I made the right choice for me. How’s everyone getting on ?

Hi all! Sorry I've been in a whirlwind (I'm not sure thats how you say that in english...) of work for the last few days. The political situation in France is very unstable and unsettling right now and because I work with public funding it's been more than crazy. I'm in Canada but am having to unexpectingly having to fly back to France early later today ( was meant to be in the US next week) to be able to hit the floor running if **** hits the fan with the election results Sunday. That said... I am proud of myself because I put my foot down and will not work through the weekend. I'm going to a music festival in the loire valley instead and will dance and be merry. Happy belated birthday @LisaCaryl! I hope this next trip round the sun is a good one and that by the end of it you are where you want to be. @NickelChip I'm happy your holidays went well and applaud you making good choices when away from home. I've got to the point where I'm loosing very slowly ( 5 pounds in 6 weeks) and so am just trying to make the best choices I can without over thinking things. I've finally dropped to 67.5kg (148.8lbs) (BMI 23.9) and have accepted things are going to be slow from now on .... I have three weeks of hectic work left before I'm on holiday for 5 whole weeks before starting my new job in September. Once I'm on holiday I'm going to try and up my steps and focus on eating the best I can( and drinking less alcohol) and I'll see where that gets me. @RonHall908 Like every true Parisian I know .... I leave Paris 48 hours before the games start! I'll be away on holiday for 5 whole weeks with my partner. The longest holidays we have ever taken. The games are going to be hectic and access to a lot of areas in the city are restricted - most of the bridges are also closed ... so we're just leaving the city... like every sane person I know! That said... in France we get 5 weeks of paid holiday a year plus 1 extra week if we work over 35 hours a week (my case) plus 11 bank holidays plus basically unlimited paid sick leave plus like an extra day when you move houses, 3 days for a wedding, 3 days for the death of a parent, 2 weeks for the death of a child, 6 months full pay maternity, up to 5 days a year full pay for sick children under 14 etc etc etc ... so we only use holiday days for holidays so every summer ( office working ) Parisians tend to leave paris en masse for most of August - we all joke that the 15th of August Paris is empty every year ... so this isn't so specific to the olympics! I did go for a walk in Versailles not long ago and saw the prep for the horse racing ... it's going to look so so cool with the chateau as a backdrop!

I just want to +++ this re vaginal estrogen cream for UTI prevention @kristieshannon your comment made me think of https://x.com/mvankuikenmd on twitter who I love !

@Noelle74 How's work? I'm about to leave Paris again for 3 weeks and head into a crazy tunnel of meetings and flights and travel and conferences till the end of July ... I've finally dropped to under 69kg but now know that my weightloss is probably going to slow to 5-7ish pounds (2/3kg a month) so I have a long slog in front of me and If I reach my goal it won't be until December I reckon. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm trying to look at the progress I've made so far and concentrate on the fact that although my BMI is at the top of healthy it is healthy. Looking back at pictures is helping. My collar bones and hip bones are starting to make a reappearance at last and that I'm happy about. I've decided I also probably need to seriously act on my drinking too and will count my units this next month and consider seeing a shrink if I'm averaging over 14 units a week. By the way how are everyones scars ... mine are still so dark - see last picture! One Week Post op Two weeks post op One month ish post op Last week (so 4 months post op) This evening (not the best outfit but I'm in Pjs already - folded top in and up to show scars)

@Noelle74 Good luck with the job! @gracesmommy2 I'm still stalled ( nearly 6 weeks now!) so you have all my sympathy @NickelChip I hope you enjoy your holidays! @LisaCaryl I hope your knee continues to behave @RonHall908 Thanks for the podcast recommandations, enjoying them ! I'm going to give my week another stall and then do a one week liquid diet I think...

I hope everyone had a lovely weekend. Thank you all for your messages re my stall! I'm still stalled ... no suprise there. I'm going to try and track what I'm eating this week as I haven't really been tracking at all. Just trying to be sensible and go with the flow. I'm still being very conciencious about everything I put in my mouth and reckon I'm averaging about 1200-1300 calories a day max. I know I could eat more protein but as I eat so little meat its a bit complicated esp when I'm travelling. I hate protein shakes and anything with an artificial taste, I'm really not into processed foods. I do love carbs. I know what I'm eating is far from perfect but I'm also trying to "live" as normally as I can without getting ultra focused on food because 1) I just don't want to 2) I know that it won't be substainable for me to track/only eat specific things/100% certain avoid things long term 3) food is a real source of joy for me as is cooking. Cooking is my way of calming down and disconecting my brain after work but I'm an improvisation whats left on the fridge cook not a planning cook 4) I've very scared of being too "strict" on food and ending up with a transfer addiction as I have a very addition prone personality and I already smoke (cigarettes daily and weed probably 2/3 times a month) and drink (much much less than before the surgery when I was drinking too much) and even though I haven't touched a Benzodiazepine (xanax) in 3 years and 8 months (go me 😌) I had a big enough issue with benzo abuse to have to take a month of work to come off them. I'll try and track properly tomorrow and for a few days but for example today from memory I had ( I also had water) Breakfast : 1/4 bagel with butter, coffee with semi skim milk Mid Morning : 2x Coffee with semi skim milk Lunch : Palm sized bit of omelette with courgette, red peppers, kale, onions, cheese, about two tablespoons grated carrot salad Mid afternoon : Tea with semi skim milk and sweetener, bit of brie cheese about twice the size of my thumb Supper : Palm sized bit of omelette with courgette, red peppers, kale, onions, cheese Herbal tea Before bed : About 4/5 teaspoons of vegan pannacotta (soy milk, sweetener, orange flower water, cornstarch, pistachios, maple syrup) Herbal tea

Got home. Got naked. Stepped on scales. Back at 70.4kg. So up 1 kg (2.2lbs) since last Friday .One full month of being stalled today. Starting to get very very very fed up. No way am I consuming over 1000 calories a day even counting every drop I drink, every splash of milk I put in a coffee. So p*ssed off at still seeing a 7 on the scales. Doing my head in. Going to have a nap and reflect.

I’ll get back to everyone properly later - it’s 8.30am here and I’ve just landed in Paris after a very very early start… just wanted to share this - cattle class on Air France.

So I studied in Berlin for 2 years - when I left Paris I was a size 34… and as the years went by I was still a size 34 in Berlin… and then I got back to Paris and realised I’d gained a size … insidious indeed! But yes, French women and esp Parisienne women tend to be pretty small! The average BMI for a French woman between 30 and 50 years old is 23.2 and for a Parisienne woman between 30-50 years old it’s 21.1! I’m still the fattest woman in my office and friend group by quite a bit - I think (but I’m not sure) that weight is also highly correlated to level of education here and I work in an office with 95% of PhDs … that might explain it..: that or the fact that black expresso and a cigarette is considered breakfast (also guilty of this). It’s hard because you have to « enjoy » food and the wine and the cheese and the pâtisseries at social occasions but you’re also judged very severely for being even the tiniest bit overweight - so basically you have to starve in private. Things are slowly changing but up until about 5 years ago it was basically mission impossible to find any clothes over size 42 ( American size 10) on the high street. Fat people (esp fat women) are despised. I was treated so badly when I was fatter, with so much disdain, so much rudeness, so much disregard. In French public space women’s bodies exist to be desirable and desired. To put it crudely if you don’t look « fu**able » enough you’re not welcome in public spaces… ( also see parralel with female headscarves being forbidden in public spaces and even wetsuits for women being forbidden on some public beaches ( must be swimsuit or bikini) because wetsuits were seen as Islamic propaganda)… In France women’s bodies belong to the male gaze. It’s a complicated issue.

@LisaCaryl How's your knee? Did you see a doc at the clinic? Re wardrobe, I had a clear out and gave a lot of things to my cleaning lady and have just been going down to my cellar to get old clothes out. I have bought a few new dresses, but I but far too many clothes anyway... I'm a french size 38/40 now and hope to be a 36 by the end of the summer which will allow me to fit into most of my old clothes .... but unfortunately not my fave dress which is a 34.... that still seems like pipe dream right now. My posture is getting better and I have less pain in my legs which is nice. 2 days until I'm back home and can weight myself to see if I've broken my stall.

I like crispy tofu in the airfryer. Block of Tofu/Cornflour/Spices/Oil Spray/Salt/Pepper You need firm tofu. A couple of hours before you want to eat take the tofu out of the package and blot it dry, then stack a couple of sheets of kitchen paper above and below it (or clean tea towels) then put a plate with a weight on top of it for 5-10 minutes. In a big bowl add a a big tablespoon of cornflour and the spices/seasonings of your choice for example garlic powder/paprika/liquid smoke/dried lime rind Herbes de provence/ lemon zest and juice/ground bay Cumin/Tumeric/dried corriander Soy sauce/sesame oil/garlic/ginger MSG/orange juice and zest/maple syrup/clove powder/cinnamon/chilli/onion powder Mix your cornflour with your spices and seasonings until well mixed or if you have liquids in your seasonings until its a smoothish paste Wipe the tofu dry again and cut into cubes, tip the cubed tofu into the bowl with the cornflour and seasoning mix and shake the bowl vigorously until the tofu is covered in the seasoning mix. If some of the tofu breaks into crumbs this is not a problem. They will just be extra crispy crumbs! It's best to let the tofu marinade for at least 15 minutes to a few hours but I often skip this part because I don't have time. When you're ready to eat preheat your air fryer to 200°c/400°f. Open the airfryer drawer and spray with oil, tip the tofu in and give it a spray. Shake after about 7-8 minutes and then put back in for another 7-8 minutes of until crispy. Enjoy! You'll find a lot of youtube/internet recipes that are probably easy to follow then mine if you google "airfryer tofu". It's nice as a protein without feeling too "woodstock crunchy vegan"

Congrats on the mega stall break! I don't know if you can get kale where you are ... I promise this is so much better than it sounds it's like crack health food. I was like a bit bleh when i heard about it ... But air fryer kale chips. A lot of Kale, salt, oil Wash kale, take out the big middle stalks, put in a big bowl with some salt and a tablespoon of oil and massage. Put in preheated airfryer at 400F for 3 minutes, shake, back in for 3 minutes. Delicious. Will catch up properly later!

I went to turkey. Paid around 3.5k all in. Aftercare is through whatsapp and calls. It was okay for me and they are pretty reactive (get back to me with in a day) on any questions I ask. They send lists of blood tests to do every once in a while. I'm 4 months out.

Welcome @Dchonlee ! It's going to be an amazing journey I'm sure. Keep us posted on how things go.

Hey there @Star1234 ... I think a lot depends on your starting weight and BMI and your goal weight and BMI. I'm nearly 4 months out and have lost 21.9kg and have 15kg left to go until I hit my goal but I've been pretty much stalled for the last 3 weeks.

Even if those white ones are particulary high it's the advantage of my Cerebral Palsy ... my feet and legs are so twisted that heals are actually easier than flats, they straigten out my legs and make me more stable, I fall over my own feet in most trainers and flats (except birkenstocks that I find magical!) ... at school I got a special pass to be allowed to wear heels from about 7 years old ... all the other girls were so jealous! And there are worse disadvantages to be had. Well done on the 4 pound loss... thats massive! Enjoy it to the fullest. And how wonderful to slip into a old dress again and for cherry on the top it to be loose! I hope your daughters special event went well and that you felt amazing in your dress. I shocked a friend who saw me in jeans the other day... I pulled them out of my cellar, she hadn't seen me in jeans since pre pandemic (because I no longer had any jeans that fit ... and had resorted to wearing baggy dresses) and the jeans were tight and i had to wiggle wiggle jump into them and button them up lying flat on my back.. but I managed it. Hopefully they too will be loose one day. If I take the last 30 calendar days I've lost 7.5lbs - but since my three month "surgiversary" to now seven days short of 4 month surgiversary I've not even lost 2 lbs .... and most of that was in the last 24 hours! I really hope my stall has broken. I've arrived in Hungary and after a pretty chill Paris week have a very busy week planned so I just hope I'm able to make good choices food wise and that I get back to Paris to a loss on my scales! I wish I was that brave! I think if I tried that my team would have a field day and an intern would take a video and make it into a meme or a gif in minutes and I'd never live it down! I think it may be out but it is worth seeing a sports physio to ask and to "learn" how to run without putting too much strain on your knees, they may have tips and adaptations for you. Instead of regretting yesterday be proud of today and tomorrow if you can. Keep moving!

So... It's seems my stall has finally "cracked" - I wouldn't go as far as broken, but cracked... and I'm happy with that. This morning I weighed in at 69.1kg which is 152.3lbs ( 10st12) and puts my BMI just below 25 ( 24.8!! woopeee). I've just voted because it's the EU elections here and am about to pack before I leave home for work for a week. I'm going to Budapest and really don't like the food there so I'll see how I get on. I'm really hoping to see a number starting with 68 when I get home even if I loose just 300g (10oz) this week I'll be happy with that! @Noelle74 I hope you have some better days comming and manage to eat without being miserable! @RonHall908 I have this fear too... Well done on all the activity! How do you find the time. I struggle to get my 10k steps some days with work and even though I've been for a few 5k runs I don't know how I'd find time to work out! @gracesmommy2 I might try those recipies! Thank you @NickelChip I see we share the same live-in housekeeper dream! I don't even have children and am often overwhelmed by my own mess and laundry especially when I do fast turn arounds for trips! I'd also like someone who could remind me to go to bed at the appropriate time, make me coffee in the morning ( to be honest my partner does this if he's around but we don't live together full time as we both want to keep our Paris appartments!), I'd like someone to say "Hey blue, lets go for a walk before bed, just 30 minutes" or "Hey blue, what about getting up 30 minutes earlier and walking to work?" or "Hey Blue, let me sort that ironing for you, why don't you use the time to do some yoga?" @LisaCaryl How are things going for you, how are you dealing with the stall ? @Briss72 How are you feeling? How's your leg? Have you found a dance routine you like ? If not I got myself a dress and don't feel massive in it even though I still don't like my tummy I thought my legs ( massive heels helping) looked pretty ok!

I really feel you. I'm demotivated. 21 days and no change. I'm craving sugar and carbs like mad. Not feeling any restriction at all. Like at all. None whatsoever. And no move on the scale... I leave Paris the day after tomorrow. At least I'm not a fan of the local cuisine where I'm going ...

@NickelChip I feel you - My scale is not budging just fluctating between 70-69.5kg ( 154lbs - 153lbs) - up and down and up and down... It's been 20 days since I hit 70kg. I'm so longing to not see a 7 on the scales anymore! I have 12 days left until I'm 4 months post op and would really like to see at least a consistant 69.5kg by then ... I'd even be fine with that. We also officially have the year to date with the most rain and the least hours of sun in Paris since records began in the 1840's and now it's not just me who is suffering from the constant grey, wet and lack of light. Everyone is miserable and over it! By this season normally we all spend so much time outside but it's just to damn f**king wet and cold - we still have 7-8°c at night (46°F).

@RonHall908 Love the new profile pic! You're looking fantastic! @Nickelchip Your under 200lbs goal is like my under 70 goal ... it's taking a long time to happen but it's going to be such a nice feeling when it happens! Hang on in there as says @LisaCaryl. @LisaCaryl I hope the unconfortable feeling passes soon.

How is everyone? I'm still stalled .... It's been 19 days!

@NickelChip You look great! Your face seems to have changed a lot and that tummy is shrinking! Being able to walk long distances without feeling terrible is so nice isn’t it! Sorry to hear you’re struggling with reheated food - how are you reheating? Could you steam things ? I think that may help but if not let’s pray summer and salad season is round the corner!

I'm still stalled but feeling better. I spoke to my clinic who said it is normal because I've lost more than goal at this point and had a lower BMI to start off with. The clinic has said the stall may last up to a month which means I'm half way through the stall trying to be rational about it. I managed a decent walk ( 15.4k steps) yesterday in my raincoat that helped. I'm still in London for work and it is grey and raining but I bailed on my hotel and came to stay with my little brother (who lives here for his work) and it's a bit like being home. I hadn't seen him in a few years because we're not that close but he made me airfryer spicy tofu and asparagus for supper, offered to look over some work excels with me and to top it off he washed, dried, folded my laundry from my suitcase whilst I was asleep and woke me up with coffee in bed this morning. (I suspect he's been talking to my partner). He's made me feel very cared for and also said that even without weightloss in the mix he gets very very down when he has a bad stretch of travel for work and the weather is ****. He helped me find friends of friends to stay with when I have a week in Budapest in 10 days time so that I'm not all alone at a hotel again. And we realised we'll both be in Boston for work next month and can meet up there and we also sync'd our work travel agendas and found out we'll be in Singapore in October at the same time as our brother in law ( sisters husband) and so all three of us can stay together! For my job the travel is going to be wild until the end of this year (wrap up of a 5 year worldwide project) and so I'm just going to have to "hack" it as much as I can. I get back to Paris very late tonight and might see if I can move enough meetings around to take Friday off work and just spend 3 days for myself in Paris. Hows everyone getting on ?

@LisaCaryl Sorry, I didn't want to worry you! I'm close to giving up on trying to make healthy food choices is what I really meant. I'm feeling slightly better this evening although I'm freezing again because of the cold and rain in the UK. I think I'm just so so done in by all the traveling for work - I've still had less than 30 days at home since my surgery at the end of Feb and I know I'll be travelling pretty much non stop till mid July - and I'm so over the cold and the random hotel rooms and the living out of a suitcase. My partner is also travelling a lot so we barely see each other which normally we're fine with but the last 7-8 months have been especially bad travel wize. I think I just need a few good nights sleep in my own bed... I get home on wednesday evening and have a week a home before fmying off. Thankyou. Clothes feeling looser is a hard one because I travel light so basically just swap out one work dress for another from my suitcase when I'm home without trying anything on. I do have a dietician from the clinic I was operated at but the contact is just through whatsapp. I spoke to my partner earlier about how down I am (partner is not a GP or a psychiatrist but is a doctor.) and he thinks that it's just really because all this travelling and rain and cold is shitty and to keep upbeat and work i have to find something to get the negative emotions out on so I'm going with the lack of weightloss. The rational person inside me knows that this stall will pass but the emotional person is just so over the struggle allready!