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Julie I don't know you, but I do know personally that depression can become very serious if it is not treated...You are reaching out and talking about it and thats a great step forward...I am hoping that you will consider anti-depressants and also continue to share your pain and frustration...sharing the way you feel right now will probably help someone else...you will be in my prayers..be blessed and go get a medication evaluation for anti-depressants!!!!