tracie30

I'm sure there are many of you that watch "Ruby". "Ruby" is a reality show about a women in Savannah Georgia who once weighted over 700 pounds. Through diet and exercise she has lost down to about 350 pounds. Last week's episode of Ruby talked about food addiction. Ruby initially was offended to be considered a food addict. As I watched the episode I realized... I AM A FOOD ADDICT. I don't say this proudly, I say this factually. Food is heroine. Food comforts my mind and tortures my soul. I plan my day around food and feel excitement as time draws closer to eat. After I eat, I feel dissappointment with my lack of self control (this is the torture part for me) and inability to eat reasonably. Why does food have this kind of control? I have self evaluated for years and the answer is mostly the same...I don't know. I was raised by a single parent and food was limited in our home, that could be a deep rooted issue for me. I have always lived in a fat body; I don't know who I would be without being overweight so maybe that's my fear. Maybe I fear male attention and the impact the attention could have on my marriage. I feel very strong in my committment to my husband but there's always fear of the unknown. Maybe I fear losing my best friend as issues are already arising because I am smaller than she is and she is showing signs of being uncomfortable with my progress (although this is a minor issue for me because if she's a true friend she will always be there and if she allows our friendship to dissolve due to me losing weight, then that's on her). Maybe I just love food. At this point, I don't know why I'm a food addict but what I know for sure is it's time to be accountable. On Ruby, the specialist recommended following the AA 12 step's and work through the addiction. My church offers a program like this so I am going to get involved and work the steps. As I dive into this area of my life, I have to live in the moment at all time where food is concerned. I have to be more in tune to the triggers that cause me to make poor food choices and learn to deal with them while I am searching for the "why" I am a food addict. I truly believe this is a huge step to my journey and who knows what might happen now that I have accepted my addiction. Acceptance if the first step in recovery. Good luck to all my fellow food addicts.

I'm sure there are many of you that watch "Ruby". "Ruby" is a reality show about a women in Savannah Georgia who once weighted over 700 pounds. Through diet and exercise she has lost down to about 350 pounds. Last week's episode of Ruby talked about food addiction. Ruby initially was offended to be considered a food addict. As I watched the episode I realized... I AM A FOOD ADDICT. I don't say this proudly, I say this factually. Food is heroine. Food comforts my mind and tortures my soul. I plan my day around food and feel excitement as time draws closer to eat. After I eat, I feel dissappointment with my lack of self control (this is the torture part for me) and inability to eat reasonably. Why does food have this kind of control? I have self evaluated for years and the answer is mostly the same...I don't know. I was raised by a single parent and food was limited in our home, that could be a deep rooted issue for me. I have always lived in a fat body; I don't know who I would be without being overweight so maybe that's my fear. Maybe I fear male attention and the impact the attention could have on my marriage. I feel very strong in my committment to my husband but there's always fear of the unknown. Maybe I fear losing my best friend as issues are already arising because I am smaller than she is and she is showing signs of being uncomfortable with my progress (although this is a minor issue for me because if she's a true friend she will always be there and if she allows our friendship to dissolve due to me losing weight, then that's on her). Maybe I just love food. At this point, I don't know why I'm a food addict but what I know for sure is it's time to be accountable. On Ruby, the specialist recommended following the AA 12 step's and work through the addiction. My church offers a program like this so I am going to get involved and work the steps. As I dive into this area of my life, I have to live in the moment at all time where food is concerned. I have to be more in tune to the triggers that cause me to make poor food choices and learn to deal with them while I am searching for the "why" I am a food addict. I truly believe this is a huge step to my journey and who knows what might happen now that I have accepted my addiction. Acceptance if the first step in recovery. Good luck to all my fellow food addicts.

4pyes, I know exactly how you feel. Although I choose Lapband for the slow weight loss, I didn't realize how "SLOW" it would be. When people think of WLS they think of those people who have Gastric Bypass. People who have GB loose weight fast. It almost drips off of them. I dealt with depression when I was first banded because I had expectations that I would lose at least 2 pounds a week. I don't lose 2 pounds a week. I am averaging about 5 pounds a month and I have learned to accept that sometimes that 5 pounds is lost in one week and nothing in the other 3 weeks of the month but overall I lose about 5 pounds. That's the type of "loser" I am. lol Give yourself a break. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Focus on doing the right things everyday and in a year, I promise you will be glad you did this. Figure out what kind of "loser" you are and learn to be ok with it. I will be 1 year out on October 16th and I have lost 86 pounds. My goal was to be at 100 pounds lost by my anniversary but it's not going to happen but I'm not going to be depressed over it. If I end up at 90 pounds, that's still something to be proud of!!! This is a long journey! PM me anytime!!!

Several weeks ago while I was at the gym one of the ladies, who I talk with frequently ask me how much I had lost and I told her about 60 pounds. There was an older man who I never talk to listening to the conversation and chimed in, "Wow, you must have been really big". I just gave him a "who are you look" and was like "Yes, I guess I was". Of course I was furious. Then today he approached me to tell me that "I really didn't think you would stick with working out" and that "normally people as large as you just can't stay committed; try to stay motivated". Can you believe this man? Who does he think he is? Why do people think they can say whatever they want. The worst part is: I think he believes he was giving me a compliment. Anyone else have nasty people out there say mean things to them and embarrass you?

Ok...my sin for today was Strawberry Cheesecake from Burger King. 310 calories of pure sin!!! lol but worth it!!

H - 339 S - 315 C - 270 Hey Sistergrl25 When were you banded? You're doing a great job!!

I know exactly what you're talking about. I get frustrated when the scale won't move too. My advise is to really hold yourself accountable to everything you're putting in your mouth. Get your exercise in (even if that come in the form of yard work) and the results will come. I am only averaging about 5 pounds per months weight loss and that includes the month I lost 0 pounds. Keep doing the right things and the results will come. If you're anything like me, everytime you step on the scale it should be down atleast a pound...it won't!!! Good Luck!!

Until you're banded you will have no idea at how much work is involved with being banded. It is constant effort. It is not easy. My friend ask my why I just didn't put as much effort into losing weight before my band as I do with it. The answer is simple. I have been on diet after diet and I gave up when the weight didn't come off easily. I did not have self control and felt helpless. With my band I am excited about losing weight because I KNOW if I do the right things I will see the results. I have hope that I didn't have doing it all on my own. Plus my band has taught me to slow down when eating and it keeps me from binging and eating excessively. I am a believer in looking at situations positively; you can believe getting banded is a failure or believe it will lead you to victory. My band is giving me my life back and if you see that as failure then the band probably isn't for you.

I have just started to jog a little on the treadmill and I am noticing that the jogging is causing the area around my port to hurt. I carry most of my weight in my stomach and believe when I jog the weight I carry is tugging and pulling the port. Has anyone experienced this? Do you think it will cause me any problems later if I continue to jog? Thanks!

Finally, I think I have my sweet spot!!! I got a fill on Wednesday and 8cc's in my 14cc band I can finally tell a big difference in the amount of food I can eat. I went off liquids yesterday and didn't notice much of a difference until today. I can only eat a 4 or 5 bites and I'm done. Also I had been able to eat bread but not today. I hope I can keep this restriction for a while and take off some pounds. Finally!!! I feel like my band is doing what it's suppose to do!!! My doctor was intially going to give me .5cc but I explained that I could eat a lot more than I should be able to and he gave me a 1cc. I am so glad he did!!!

I have noticed that my taste has changed. I didn't notice quite as quickly as you as I am 5 months post op. I always hated onions....ALWAYS! I tried to eat them but just never could. Now I love them!! I still don't like them raw but I love them cooked. There are things I loved that I hate now, like pasta. I went to Olive Garden a month or so ago and had my classic Chicken Parm and I couldn't eat the pasta. It tasted like mush to me. My family and friends say they don't know who I am!!! lol The only educated guess I have on why your taste may change is that we have to slow down to eat our food now because of the band. Speaking for myself, many times in my preband life I have eaten and never even tasted my food. Maybe slowing down and actually tasting the food helps us to realize it wasn't all that to begin with!!! Good luck!!

I went through the same thing. I have got discouraged several times since I was banded in October 08. I think we expect the weight to fall off and every day we should see the scale going down but it doesn't. Believe me, I KNOW!!! My advise is to keep doing the right things. Eat small meals, get regular fills, exercise 3-5 days a week, don't drink with your meals, etc and in 3 months you WILL see a difference. In one year you won't recognize the person you are today. I have learned that my scale obsession is only hurting my enthusiasm. Keep doing the right things and remember...The journey is the Reward, not the destination!!! It's all the things you learn in the process that makes you stronger, wiser and capable of acheiving your goals. Good Luck!

Hi Everyone! I am writing this because as I sit here, I am full of shame and guilt. I am 4 months post op and have been doing well. I've lost about 50 pounds in those 4 months (my stats are not updated). I work hard to control portions. I measure and bag everything but today I am sad to say that I completely lost control. My husband went to the grocery store today and purchased a German Chocolate Cake Mix with Coconut Icing and ask if I would make it for him for dessert. Since we haven't had a lot of sweets in the house, I made that cake. I haven't been able to stop eating it. I packed the rest of it up and am sending it with my husband to distribute to his friends at work tomorrow. I told him that I won't make another cake again and not to purchase that garbage again. But I can't believe how much of it I ate. I completely gave in to old habits. Tomorrow is a new day and I have to get over this guilt and shame I feel. I realize now that I can't have certain foods around me, not even once in a while. Thanks for letting me vent so I can put this "indiscretion" behind me.

I was banded the same day as you and I am having the same problem. I have lost about 50 pounds as well and my doctor told me I was losing too fast. I gained 6 pounds over Christmas and can't seem to get it off. I've had 3 fills and feel like I've had no restrictions especially since my 3rd fill. Keep doing what you know is right and we all will get there together. Good luck!

Hi Everyone! I am having a moment. It doesn't help that I am 3 days into TOM. I try so hard to be very positive. I understand my band is not magical but I am so frustrated. I was banded on 10/16/08 and have lost about 50 pounds. I made a committment to myself that I was going to get this right once and for all. I watch my calories and journal everything I eat, I have been walking 2 miles everyday through an in home audio program BUT the scales have not budged. I weigh the same as I did when I got my last fill about a month ago. I even changed the battery in my scale thinking it was old and may be incorrect. I just don't get it. Maybe when my TOM is over I will see the scales change. I'm realistic here; 1 pound lost per week and I would be the happiest girl in town! I don't expect to lose a lot of weight each week but I do expect to lose something. I know everyone has been through this and can relate to my frustration but I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening!!!

Hi everyone! Do you think calories are created equal? Meaning: If you are watching your caloric intake and you are wanting to consume no more than 1500 calories; does it matter if 300 of those calories comes from a piece of pie instead of a piece of chicken? I understand the benefits of choosing the "right" foods that include Protein and other good stuff your body needs. BUT if you include a little junk in your diet and count as part of your overall daily intake, does it really matter? Thanks for all the imput!!

It's official!!! I'm a hypocrit!!! I posted a blog before Christmas that this year was going to be different. This year I was in control. I wasn't!!! Was it exactly like the years before? Not by a long shot. Compared to years past, I was a total Angel but as a New Bandster I was the devil en carnet and I gained 8 pounds out of it! I really don't see how that's possible but scales don't lie. I always want to be the positive friend who people can count on to talk them off the ledge. I know that it's ok that sometimes I find myself on the ledge but sometimes I worry if the band will work for me. By all counts, it's been amazing but I lived my entire life as a big girl. I have always been the girl that everyone thinks is nice and sweet but completely overlooked by men and women. I have always been the biggest person in the room and always compared myself to the "pretty" girls who just seem to have people who compete for their attention. Several weeks ago I was at a business meeting and found myself alone for most of the time. Although I had many people stop and say hi to me and chit chat for a minute or two, I just haven't connected with anyone who wants a fat friend. Sometime I envision when I lose my weight how differently people will respond to me and I can't help but be a little sad. When my mom saw me at Christmas she kept saying "I can't believe how pretty you are". Finally I said "because I lost 50 pounds suddenly I became pretty? I have always looked like this!" I could tell my mom could see how uncomfortable I was with her comments and finally stopped making a fuss. Back to me allowing myself to get off track for Christmas...I ate everything. I didn't prepare because I was short on time and I didn't journal anything. Somehow I spiraled out of control and 4 days and 8 pounds later, I'm trying to get my control back. Today I had 1750 calories. I don't have a lot of restriction but as I get more fills I know my calorie intake will decrease. Right now I can eat pretty much anything and everything BUT I have never went over 2000 calories in a day except for Christmas of course. I got myself out of bed this morning and exercised. I plan to do a 30 minute walk 5 days a week. I started to journal my food today, so I feel like I'm moving in the right direction. Good luck to everyone!!!

Thanks everyone! I'm sure it will get better when TOM is gone!!

I can't tell you how much I agree with you! My "Best" friend is always trying to make me feel bad about my efforts. Before I was banded I talked to her about having to change our social time to non food related activities but she still insist on eating at my favorite restaurants. She and I have always been about the same size, in fact she has probably been a size smaller than me so getting banded has certainly caused some insecurities for her. There are many times I feel sabotaged!!

It's official!!! I'm a hypocrit!!! I posted a blog before Christmas that this year was going to be different. This year I was in control. I wasn't!!! Was it exactly like the years before? Not by a long shot. Compared to years past, I was a total Angel but as a New Bandster I was the devil en carnet and I gained 8 pounds out of it! I really don't see how that's possible but scales don't lie. I always want to be the positive friend who people can count on to talk them off the ledge. I know that it's ok that sometimes I find myself on the ledge but sometimes I worry if the band will work for me. By all counts, it's been amazing but I lived my entire life as a big girl. I have always been the girl that everyone thinks is nice and sweet but completely overlooked by men and women. I have always been the biggest person in the room and always compared myself to the "pretty" girls who just seem to have people who compete for their attention. Several weeks ago I was at a business meeting and found myself alone for most of the time. Although I had many people stop and say hi to me and chit chat for a minute or two, I just haven't connected with anyone who wants a fat friend. Sometime I envision when I lose my weight how differently people will respond to me and I can't help but be a little sad. When my mom saw me at Christmas she kept saying "I can't believe how pretty you are". Finally I said "because I lost 50 pounds suddenly I became pretty? I have always looked like this!" I could tell my mom could see how uncomfortable I was with her comments and finally stopped making a fuss. Back to me allowing myself to get off track for Christmas...I ate everything. I didn't prepare because I was short on time and I didn't journal anything. Somehow I spiraled out of control and 4 days and 8 pounds later, I'm trying to get my control back. Today I had 1750 calories. I don't have a lot of restriction but as I get more fills I know my calorie intake will decrease. Right now I can eat pretty much anything and everything BUT I have never went over 2000 calories in a day except for Christmas of course. I got myself out of bed this morning and exercised. I plan to do a 30 minute walk 5 days a week. I started to journal my food today, so I feel like I'm moving in the right direction. Good luck to everyone!!!

Hi Everyone! I was banded on Oct 16 and have 5.5 cc's in my 14 cc band. I keep a journal of every bite of food that goes into my mouth. For a while I was staying between 1000 and 1200 calories per day. The last 3 days I have been up to 1800 to 2000 calories per day. I have decided the Monday after Christmas I am going to go back on the Carnation diet for 3 days to detox myself. I was wondering how many calories you taken in each day? Thanks!!

Like many of you I have dealt with my weight my entire life. I was a cubby baby, then I was a cubby toddler and when I got to adolescence I was an overweight teenager. Everyone told me I would lose my "baby Fat" but it never happened. Now I am overweight adult who struggles daily with making the right choices. I can't begin to tell you how many times I joined Weight Watchers. At least 30 times since I was 18 years old. I would lose 20 or 30 pounds and quit, then regain that weight plus more. Like many others I have been on this weight loss roller coaster my entire life. I was banded on October 16th, 2008 and have had 3 fills. Currently I have 5.5 ccs in my 14 cc band. I have lost 51 pounds since my surgery. So I am obviously very happy with my band. I will be honest, sometimes I continue to eat when I know my pouch is full. Sometimes I am enjoying my dinner so much and almost get upset when I realize my band is telling me to stop eating but then I have to realize, that's my band's job and I obey. With Christmas quickly approaching I get worried about my eating. I will be traveling 7 hours to my mothers house. In the past I viewed traveling as a 7 hour long pig feast. Almost like I convinced myself that stopping at gas stations and buying candy and soda and chips, oh my! that I was somehow exempt from calories. Or maybe I thought since I was so exhausted from the drive that I "worked" off the calories. Whatever my mindset has been, it's time to change these habits, especiallly those habits that only come up a few times a year. I'm going to take the Boy Scout oath when traveling this year: Always be Prepared! I am going to pack our food and snacks so that I am in control of what my husband and I eat. I am going to bring lots of water so I'm no tempted to stop at Starbucks ( I love Starbucks and look for every excuse to stop). When I set out on my journey to become a bandster I was fully informed. I was fully educated by my surgeon, his staff and my personal research. However, being educated does not mean doing. Learning to live as a bandster has been an adjustment. I'm learning to trade off food because I track calories and know what has been in my mouth every second of the day. I journal every bite, taste, meal and snack. If I have dessert with my lunch and that puts me over my calories, then it means no dinner (which happened to me on Tuesday). Everyday I focus on listening to my band. To realize those full signals that I have always ignored. Every week I omit another item from my grocery list that I would have purchased and brought into my home. I am enjoying more fruits and vegetables and eating things I would have never considered. I thank God everyday that I was able to be banded. It is teaching me to tame the food addicted animal that exist within me. It's trial and error but for once in my life I feel that I am in control! Good luck on your journey! Merry Christmas!!!