AmberFL

When we first got together we played with the kids at the parks (we both had one from previous marriages) , went out all the time, then the pandemic hit and we both got bigger, I worked from home and he started working 4 day weeks. We did not keep up with the activities, then we had our son and as you can imagine its just so during the day. We don't get to eat until they are in bed by that time we just want to veg out. Its awful. He took control and has lost weight but he doesn't have the same issues I have. He can eat well during the day and not be tempted plus works a job that is pretty labor intensive. I have a sit down desk where I eat out of complete boredom. I do try and think if I was more active and eating better would he follow suit, I do think he would. We have soccer/basketball for the older kids and I would loveeeee to coach them and their teams but at this weight I would be embarrassed to put myself in that. thank you so much for your advice!

I found a forum but it was from a year ago. Has anyone's relationship changed?

this is my exact reason!!! only my SO and sister know. Everyone will have an opinion and I don't want to hear it! my SO didn't even really understand why either. He was baffled that I was even thinking of it. It took me breaking down to him for him to realize that it wasn't because I wanted to be hott and skinny- it was for our kids and my health. I told him hott and fat! hahah but yes I am doing me!

My SO is supportive, and he has lost 25lbs recently just by diet and exercise (he's not big to begin with) so he doesn't have the same struggles as I do. a couple of examples: is he does enjoy late night "pigging" out and enjoys us hanging out watching tv and eating what we want while the kids go to sleep or going out for cocktails. I do worry that some of the things we enjoy doing together will be gone and it will make him feel resentful?

that is amazing! Love hearing that

I get heartburn too when I have something too spicy, but the re-routing my insides seem really intense and I am like you I think I rather just take OTC meds for the heartburn like I have been. I am glad I found your comment because I have been thinking about this

I have Kaiser as well, but in NorCal. I went to my regular doctor and told him straight up. I need weight loss surgery, he asked if I have dieted at all. I told him yes, I have dieted since I was 12yrs old and now after 2 children being a little older I cannot lose for nothing. I am also on ADHD meds and cannot lose weight so even the stimulants are not working. He took my weight and my BMI is 43, I am only 34 and I am on track to have diabetes, heart disease ect. He told me I was a good candidate, I don't smoke, I don't often drink and my BMI meets the requirements. I had to get a bunch of bloodwork all came back normal except my HDL. Then he sent my referral in to the bariatric surgery center in South San Francisco. I had to do an orientation and take a test, Takes an hour and 10min total. Then 5days later I got a schedule for nutrition class and then meet my surgeon. those are scheduled for next week so I am anxious on how that goes. My "Why" are my children. I have a 12yr, 6yr and 1yr old. I am currently in school finishing my bachelors. My partner doesn't have weight issues and I absolutely refuse to get to the point where I cannot play with my kids. I want to be able to be their coaches in sports as I was very much into athletics till I was in college. I want to run around with them and live a very long life with them. As well as teaching them to have a healthier life style. I am scared doing this, but I know in the long run this is what I HAVE TO DO!

Hi All! I am starting my journey after finally making the decision to do weight loss surgery. I'm scared, excited, and everything in between! I have done research for months before making this decision and I have a few questions if you lovely folks could help! 1) I am taking vacay Dec 4th to Disneyland and I wasn't sure if I should wait to schedule surgery till after? It will require a lot of walking and I fear that I wont be able to keep up. I am not too worried about the holidays and having the surgery done around that time. 2) Can I take FMLA and apply for Short Term Disability during recovery? **These are the ones I couldn't find direct answers on** TIA for your input!

ok that makes sense! I meet with the surgeon on the 19th and I will ask these questions. I think there is a 10% weight loss. thats 28lbs for me. So that is going to take time LOL

okay great that is good to know! I looked up on the EDD website and it looked like it was but I wasn't sure. its an exciting and scary journey isn't it!