NickelChip

"Because I was cursed by an evil witch in the forest for not minding my own business."

So, I'm almost 3 months out from having my RNY gastric bypass. The surgery itself is very safe, but the first few months after can be rough. You don't eat a lot, and you may feel sick and probably exhausted, too. But by 3 months, your tummy is pretty well healed and you've learned to chew thoroughly, slow down, and take small bites. You may have identified a few trigger foods that you really have no desire to eat again (hello, scrambled eggs). At my appointment last week I was cleared to basically eat any type of food I wanted. I was warned a very tough steak or woody/fibrous vegetable and fruit (asparagus stems, pineapple), could still cause issues, but as long as you're reasonable about choices, it's fine. I'm thrilled to be allowed to have raw veg again. And I enjoy food. I just enjoy it on plates the size of a saucer instead of a big dinner plate, and I find I don't want more than a bite or two of unhealthy stuff. Except ice cream, which is why I don't keep that in the house! At restaurants, I either take home enough for 2-3 more meals, or I order an appetizer. And I skip the bread, pasta, and other fillers. It'll be a long time before I feel like I can handle a slice of pizza, for sure. But that's okay. My family ordered a pizza the other day and it smelled delicious, but I literally did not want it. Not even a taste. I never thought that would happen to me because I adore pizza, and it made me glad because saying no to it was no big deal. I can tell you that as a slow loser, I will probably never end up "thin" from this surgery. But it's made a huge difference for me already. The day I left the hospital, I was already off blood pressure meds, which I had been taking for a decade. My joints don't hurt anymore. My inflammation is down. I can walk longer and faster. I feel better. And I like the way I look more now too. I'm already able to buy some clothing that isn't specifically from the "plus" department, and I look forward to that being the norm. I'm 50 and I haven't been this low in weight since I was 29. But, it is an adjustment. It's a challenge. And if you love food, you will probably have to do a lot of mental work about that. Like, why are you eating? Are you hungry, or is it a self-soothing mechanism. And if the latter, is there a better way to deal with your emotions when you physically can't reach for food? I ask myself this a lot. My brother had VSG 15 years ago. If you didn't know him back then, you would think today he's an average weight guy (not skinny) with a slightly smaller than average appetite. We were at a wedding when I was still pre-surgery and he out ate me at dinner. So the "half a happy meal" thing is short term. Only you probably won't want to eat those after surgery because they might not sound appetizing anymore.

Not gonna lie, it's been a rough month so far. I was doing okay heading into May. On May 1, I reached 203lbs, which officially was the lowest I have been since my 20s. The next day it bounced up, but then I lost steadily, down to 201.6. And then yesterday morning, when I was heading to my 3-month check in with the dietician, I was back up to 203lbs overnight! What the heck?!? Nine days into the month and all progress erased! And then my dietician said everything I'm doing nutritionally is good, but I've only lost 19 lbs since surgery according to their office scale. I go back on the 21st to see the nurse practitioner and am going to ask what can be done if it hasn't improved by then. My loss of momentum tracks almost exactly to when I started taking my doctor's advice to get regular exercise. It was supposed to speed up my progress, according to the surgeon. Instead, in the past 3 weeks I have lost a total of 1.4 lbs. Color me unimpressed. Finally, my dietician said I should try to reduce my reliance on protein powder, which I have in my morning smoothie and at night before bed. She wants me eating more "real" food (though, in my defense, I do not rely on soft foods and have chicken and vegetables and such every day). So I had scrambled eggs and fruit this morning and it all made me really sick. What a start to the day. Smoothies made me feel good and I'm seeing little reason to give them up. I had smoothies all the time pre-op. I'm hoping they'll run some blood tests at the next appointment to see what's up. Like @RonHall908, I have also been exhausted lately and can't concentrate.

First, a long stall between 3 to 6 months is totally normal and the type of thing doctors should tell us to expect. But weight loss surgery is a game changer. This is no longer about calorie restriction to force your body to shed some weight, and if you think about it logically, it's impossible that your body is carrying out all its bodily functions on less than 1000 calories per day. It's burning fat, and also shifting fluids which account for a lot of what the scale reports to you as weight. If someone who had not had surgery said I will only 800 calories, you would be concerned for their health. I say this as someone who is in a similar place mentally and emotionally as you are after stalling again for 9 days: you have to stop the dieting mentality. Calorie restriction got you nowhere before and it will do nothing but hinder you now. Stop counting calories, especially if your team does not require it. Stop weighing yourself. Focus on eating protein, veggies, fruit, beans, nuts, and seeds. Focus on avoiding artificial sweeteners, processed foods, and simple carbs. Focus on creating sustainable habits and getting the right balance of foods every time you eat. Weigh yourself in a week. Or a month. This isn't about the scale or what you lose from day to day. It's about getting healthy for the rest of your life. It'll happen but you need to step back and not drive yourself crazy over it.

I had my 3-month post-op appointment with my dietician today. She wanted to see 80g or more of protein with 40% of daily calories from protein, and at least 64oz water. Those are the only set numbers I was given, although we added up all the macros for a typical day from my journal and it came to around 900 calories, 91g protein, 78g carb, and 29g fat. The fat and carb percentage were roughly 30% each of my daily calories. She said that was very reasonable for this stage and that calories would slowly increase over time. I was also told I could pretty much eat any type of food now, but she cautioned me about sirloin steak and very fibrous foods like asparagus (the woody stalks, not the soft tips) and pineapple as probably being a bit too tough. But she encouraged me to add in raw veggies and to move away from protein powder as much as possible. Another reason you'll see programs not focusing on calorie counting is because people can make poor choices that way (or am I the only one who used to eat celery for lunch so I could have a big piece of cake and technically not exceed my calorie goals?). If you're choosing a small plate (I use a dessert/bread size plate) and fill one half with lean protein (3-4oz), and the other half with veggies, go easy on the fatty and sugary sauces, and stop eating at the first sign of fullness (for me, that would be hiccups), you will hit the recommendations without really having to stress over counting anything.

That looks delicious. Do you have a recipe?

I love all of this so much! Hooray!

@BlueParis We're going back and forth here in Massachusetts, with one day beautiful and sunny, followed by 3 days of rain. It's the time of year when you need to have every single type of clothing in your closet and you might wear them all on one day. But I'm so happy to get outside for walks any day when it isn't actively raining. @Briss72 I hope your leg infection clears up soon. That sounds so painful. It's funny, between last night and tonight cooking dinner, I already have enough little containers for the rest of the week for myself. I guess the next few nights I can make the stuff my kids like that I can't really eat since I'm all set. I have to say, the frozen squash "noodles" with marinara and turkey meatball (yes, just managed one) was so good tonight that I don't know why I ever ate it with spaghetti before.

@gracesmommy2 Thanks for the suggestion! I've just ordered a 10-pack of the sea salt flavor. I love anything that is small and protein packed.

Oh my gosh, you're almost there! Just over a week to go! Are you allowed tomato or butternut squash soup? I found these blended with unflavored protein were so much better than the powdered "soups."

Okay, so I would not say these taste good (like at all) but the protein shots with the 30g protein in 3oz size are convenient. The mango, in my opinion, is marginally better than lemonade. Not good, just...better. But the bottles are very small, so you can pop them in a bag and not have to worry about mixing powders on the go. I always put a few in my bag if I'm going to be away from the house for the day or overnight. Also, I see they sell Procare dark chocolate calcium bars. These are legit tasty and a great way to get your calcium while also getting "dessert." I have one almost every night. I also recommend the Syntrax Nectar variety bag, one packet eack of 15 protein shake flavors. Again, for that on the go convenience.

I totally get it. My brother had surgery about 15 years ago and his first few months were dramatic. He was losing so much weight daily, and went on to get from 310lbs to 150lbs in the first year or so (he's since regained to about 230lbs). But when I am tempted to compare myself to him negatively, I have to remember he was a guy (they lose 20% more on average) and in his early 30s at the time. I'm female and 50! Plus, his starting BMI was 6 points higher than mine. All that can make a difference. And even with friends who may seem a lot more like you (similar size and age), there are things you can't see like how much inflammation or water weight a person had, or how much muscle. But yeah, it's hard. Especially as most of us had tried and failed so many times, having a few good months and then coming to a halt and regaining everything plus some, time and time again. When you are a slower loser, it messes with your mind and plays up your fears. But I definitely second the idea of measurements. In the past 3 weeks, I have barely budged on the scale, losing only about 3 pounds and doing a lot of bouncing up and down. But I took my measurements and I've lost almost an inch in my bust, over an inch in my waist, and an inch and a half in my hips. At the start of April, I was wearing a size 20w in jeans (albeit roomy, but they stayed up). Yesterday, I had on a 16w and they were comfortable, not even skin tight! I haven't worn a 16 in years! So if the scale is messing with you, see if you have a piece of clothing from your skinnier days that you could try on. You might be amazed.

Thanks, @RonHall908! I should probably say, the 48lbs lost stretches back to last summer when I was at my highest ever weight and started incorporating the Pound of Cure guidelines into my daily routine. I lost 13lbs just with that over about 6 months, and then I lost about 13lbs more during the 2-week pre-op diet. So 26 of it was pre-op and 22 is post-op. Which kind of feels weird. I thought the surgery would ramp things up, but it feels like it slowed things down! I know there's a lot more going on metabolism-wise that will make it easier in the long run to lose more and keep the weight off, but it still can do your head in sometimes trying to balance expectations and reality. This is also the weight where I plateaued during my last serious weight loss attempt, right around losing 20% of my starting body weight. I know that research shows that most people can lose 5-10% of their body weight, but once you get to the 15 to 20% mark your body usually rebels. I assume that may be what's happening here as everything has to readjust, and the surgery changes will eventually make it possible to push past that plateau where I couldn't do it before. Fingers crossed!

Totally agree with @RonHall908. I didn't like photos, but I made sure to take some at my highest weight for reference because I wanted a record of it to look back on. And I'll go ahead and share this little comparison I made for my "half-way there" milestone:

I swear, if this stall doesn't break soon... I did some research and found that indeed, 3 months is a common time for a stall to hit. It's just frustrating to see that nice downward trend come to a halt, especially when the "experts" tell you the first 3 months are the fastest weight loss. It really is a marathon, isn't it? Here's what my weight has been doing the past 30 days:

I am also a slow loser and was diagnosed with PCOS in my 20s. I'm also 50, so perimenopause probably comes into play, too. While I've lost 48 lbs in the past 9 months, only 22 of that is post-surgery (almost 3 months). It's frustrating for sure. First, though, 13 lbs in a month is great, even if you hoped for more. And it really shows in your photos. Second, your body retains fluid for several weeks after surgery, so it's hard to say what's really going on. But most importantly, this is a journey that will take 12-18 months. You're only 1 month in. And while your doctor can talk about trajectories and averages, each person is unique. Each body does what it wants to do when it wants to do it. Try not to focus on the scale (hard, I know). Focus on your health, developing good lifelong habits, and nonscale victories like loose clothing, getting off a medication, or improved lab results. Just because you started off slow doesn't mean you won't make it to a place that makes you happy.

That's a good strategy! The reusable containers can get very expensive, several dollars a piece. So why not get them and the food, too? I miss salad. At nearly 3 months post-bypass, I just don't have the capacity for a salad, and I worry about the raw veg as I'm still having issues if I don't chew my food down to a paste and take very small bites. But someday, I hope I can eat salad again! Right now, 2-3 oz of meat and a little bit of cooked veg is all I can manage.

Okay, so I've done other meal prep services before but hadn't heard of this one. The salads look lovely, but holy moly, the price tag is a shock! Not to say I wouldn't do it if I had the means, but have you considered just ordering reusable cups of this size from Amazon and meal prepping once a week? Given how simple their ingredients are, you could probably recreate these easily, and for a fraction of the cost. Plus less waste, which is my big complaint with all the meal service companies. So much trash. In fact, since each of their items tells you exactly what's in it, I may have to try this approach out myself in a few months when I can more easily tolerate raw veg. I love the idea of salads on the go.

Yeah, I wondered because my dietician gave me this same goal at my 4 week post-op appointment. She recommended 80g protein and that for now, protein should be about 40% of my calories, which means a goal of 800 calories per day. But she definitely said the goal would be shifting over time. I have an appointment with her next Wednesday and I'm curious what she'll say about my targets now that I'll be almost at the 3-month mark. For what it's worth, I've only lost 22lbs since surgery, so mine has been really slow going. If I hear anything interesting from my dietician next week, I'll let you know.

At 9 months out, 800 calories per day seems extremely restrictive. Has your dietician explained why you are supposed to be at such a low amount? Most sources I've seen that provide calorie ranges suggest 1000-1200 calories per day by that point (1000 calories by 6 months, gradually increasing to 1200 by 1 year post-op). If your body thinks you are starving, it will lower your metabolism and cling to every ounce of fat, and weight loss will slow or stop. Is it possible your body requires more nourishment than what you are giving it?

In case you would find this helpful, Dr. Weiner's bariatric practice in Tucson, AZ has started a virtual nutrition support program that is open to anyone, no matter where you live or where you had surgery. You get unlimited access to monthly classes and support groups for $50 a month, and members can book a personal appointment with the dietician, Zoe, for $20 per session. Since you don't have anyone you can rely on from your surgeon's office, maybe this would be a useful resource. Here's their link: https://www.poundofcureweightloss.com/nutrition-counseling-memberships/

Now that sounds amazing.

The concern I would have (though I am not a dietician) is that slim fast bars and protein shakes are more "food-like substances" than actual food. Processed foods, even "diet" ones, can cause metabolism issues, and this feels almost punishing. Maybe you could try to find more satisfying, healthier options? You might try scrambling 2 eggs blended with some cottage cheese and a big handful of frozen chopped spinach for breakfast with a small serving of fruit, and a big salad of mixed veg topped with rotisserie chicken, black beans, and fresh salsa for lunch. Make sure the meat or chicken is being served with plenty of non-starchy veg, too. And don't ignore a good night's sleep and plenty of hydration. If you take prescription meds, check if any of them have weight gain as a side effect. I do agree that surgery is most likely going to be needed as soon as you can get it sorted because losing and maintaining that amount of weight is almost impossible without the metabolic changes that come with surgery.

Every program is different, so you need to reach out to your surgeon's office for their rules. I was allowed tomato soup and I added unflavored Syntrax Nectar Medical protein powder. I also enjoyed the Bariatric Fusion chicken soup flavored "shake". Celebrate makes one, too, and Unjury has a really nice beef one. A warning, though. I didn't like them at all a few days post-surgery as they tasted like chemicals to me. But pre-op, they were a godsend.