BeanitoDiego

I cried today, and had regrets about getting the surgery.

I went for a short outdoor walk after the sun went down this evening. The blaring heat was giving my neighborhood a break, so I thought, why not?

I walked one direction for a quarter of a mile, and then turned around to come home. There was a slight downward slope at the beginning of the walk, which meant that there was a slight upward slope back. Well, I started sweating before I knew it. Not a whole lot, but enough to have some beads roll south. At that moment, all ll I could think about was all of those precious fluids that I have worked so hard to consume today were going right out of me! I thought, how in the hell am I going to be able to replace all of those before I go to bed tonight?? I was sweating, thirsty, and still had a bit of a stroll ahead of me. I had not thought to bring water with me on such a short walk.

Get home, sip, sob for a bit, sip, shower, sip. Then I remember that I had premixed a protein-enhanced electrolyte drink earlier in the day, and it was sitting cold in the refrigerator. That seemed to take care of me, along with sipping some more water. I had to stay up late to get it down, but I did it, and was able to come back to a better emotional baseline.

I'm only one week out, still fresh and healing, so I'm definitely giving myself some grace tonight.