Carolyn M

This is exactly what it comes down to... I am destined to become heavier (if history is an indicator), older and sicker (diabetes has already set in).

Thank you to all who have replied so far. I wanted to respond to the idea that I am actually not so unhappy with myself and I might be doing this for the wrong reasons. During my pre-op evaluation(s) I was placed on Prozac which has, in fact, rosied my outlook and disposition. Plus the mere fact that I could have this procedure and there was hope, that has also allowed me to relax and to let go of some of the obsession of my body size. I am really lucky in that my fat suit fits me really well and I am still sexy and "vuluptuous" as I am often called. But I still dislike my body. I am carrying excess weight (I'm 215lbs) and it makes me uncomfortable and self conscious. I could probably get away with remaining this size but I imagine the joy of being an even more sexy, smaller size (same shape but less of me). Losing this excess weight would enable me to project and express myself in ways that I don't or can't do now. I am experiencing pre op fears for sure. Everything from the scars to potenial hair loss is freaking me out... EVERYTHING is freaking me out. It's fear of the unknown. I am devouring your posts in this forum and I am feeling that the pros outweight the cons. One factor to note is that with all of my good intentions, personal trainer, modified food plans, etc., I still overate dinner tonight (and I am sick and tired of struggling with thtese feelings) and the truth is that I will continue to overeat without this procedure. I have always overeaten. I really want a solution and the general feeling here seems to be that this is a good solution... So I just have to suck it up and get it done despite the scars and the fact that I might lose my hair and have that as a new problem to deal with... I'll feel exactly the opposite in about 12 seconds... I'm really going to need you guys... thanks for being here... Carolyn M

Thank you all for being here. This forum allows me a place to gather information and opinion. Thanks for that. <O:p I am going to have the Band procedure in two weeks (maybe). I welcome the weight loss as it's a dream for me to be slender and physically fit.<O:p I am currently a nicely proportioned "big" girl who turns heads everyday and most everywhere that I go. I DO qualify and need to lose as 70lbs although I cannot imagine MY body at that weight! I am lucky that I have gotten by in life so well by having a well defined (but heavy) shape, alot of confidence (on the outside), a certain stylishness and alot personality.<O:p <O:p Finding the clothes that I would like to wear and knowing that I am not society's ideal is what plagues me. I am currently losing (very) slowly with diet and exercise with the help of a personal trainer and I'm feeling pretty good and hopeful (right now) that over time I can continue to reduce in size. <O:p <O:p I am not concerned about the surgery or recovery itself so much (except the potential for pain from the gas during surgery - this sounds bad and feeling the port or not sleeping in the position of my choice). I've had some lipo (w/infection) and lived... <O:p</O:p <O:p I am concerned about the following: <O:p</O:p <O:p</O:p 1). Being "gassy" and having persistent gas pains<O:p</O:p 2). Becoming a burper (I'm not a burper now and I don't want to be!) <O:p</O:p 3). Throwing up - period!<O:p</O:p 4). How long after surgery until I am ready for hot (truly hanging from the chandelier) sex with my boyfriend? (I am serious about this!)<O:p</O:p 5). Is choosing to do this surgery going to make me consumed with "what and how and when and with who and where and how much" to the point of distraction where I'm no fun to be with or like a "special needs" friend? Do I need to blender foods and take a broccoli-shake-on-ice (example) if I am going to be out all afternoon with the girls? 6). That I will regret having this done because it altered my life so dramatically<O:p</O:p 7). That I'll have ugly scars (I already have tiny lipo scars that don't bother me but I don't want to look like I've been butchered - which brings me to my next point)<O:p</O:p 8). I think (I am sure if you want to look like I want to look) that more surgery to remove excess skin is going to be needed (more scars and now I am looking like a pin cusion when naked<O:p</O:p 9). That this is just another drastic measure that I take that is not really necessary in the big picture... the side effects were not worth it.<O:p</O:p 10). That there is life altering stuff (either gross physical stuff or lifestyle changes) that I don't know of or can't imagine right now that are going to further be a problem or issue, etc. .<O:p</O:p 11). Dramatic weight loss causes wrinkles 12). The whole port thing freaks me out. 13). What have I left out - you tell me... <O:p</O:p I can really go either way at this moment. I waiver between this a the best option to actually lose weight and this is not necessary and I should accept myself, work HARD to lose it and deal with the health problems that have already begun to surface due to weight (diabetes for instance). <O:p Who here thinks this is more trouble than it's worth? Wish you'd never done it? <O:p</O:p <O:p Who has had a easy, great experience and thinks that this is the best thing that they ever did --- and never threw up or embarrassed themselves as a result of this? <O:p</O:p <O:p I would really, really appreciate some feedback. I don't want to be a burping-gassy-bloated-uncomfortable-throwing up-non carbonated, cocktail sipping socialite-who cannot sleep on her side and is further inhibited, not by weight but as a result of the effects of living with this band. <O:p</O:p <O:p</O:p Please help and be brutally honest... I NEED to know the worst of this to help me determine if this is for me or not. <O:p</O:p <O:p</O:p Thank you sincerely.<O:p</O:p Carolyn M<O:p</O:p