Jaime,
Since you are the new member in the family, the family should want to welcome you, your traditions and your style of entertaining as you instruct. To avoid stress, I would recommend you assign a dish to each person to bring. You roast the bird and clean the house before and aft, but make it easy and as stress free as possible. I also think it is a good idea that you tell your family about your surgery. This is time for support and understanding. If you don't tell them, they will wonder and jump to all the wrong conclusions. Also, if you tell them, they will probably offer to take the burden from you and help you through this time of recovery.
Barb
