I had sleeve surgery done 9 years ago in 2014. I'm 5'4" and started at 202 pounds. I lost down to 102, and looked awful. It took me until 2017 to gain back to a healthy weight of 115. I have remained in the general vicinity of 113 - 117 since.
From the start I've have terrible GERD. In February of this year my gastro said the GERD is out of control and I cannot put it off anymore, it's time for me to convert to bypass. I do NOT want to do this. I sought the opinions of 3 of doctors all of which said the same thing.
I had EGD, upper GI series, manometry, and pH with Bravo. Surgeon said it's worse than they initially thought, and that I need surgery now. He submitted to insurance on Monday (3 days ago). He expects me to have surgery within a couple of weeks.
When this was mentioned in February I weighed 116. I immediately started eating all the things to up my weight. I live on Crumbl Cookies, lemon cream pie, crackers with cheese, and potato chips. I've always eaten those things, but now I'm eating them nonstop. I'm currently at 124 pounds. I am scared to death about losing weight again. Surgeon says he expects me to lose around 20 pounds. That's too much. I don't want too look like that again. I'm happy with how I look now.
I also am not at all interested in the process of all of it again. WLS is part of my past that I was happy to be done with. I don't want to do it again.
It has been made abundantly clear to me that I have to do it, but I'm scared and sad. I don't know what I'm looking for here, maybe just looking to share these feelings and get them off my chest.