joeyramonesgirl

Bypass or band? Band or bypass? Please sir, may I have both? God, I'm pathetic. I did so much research and time and looking up stuff that I thought I would never look up, and look where I am; I'm choosing RNY over the band. I believe that RNY would be better for me because I feel I keep with the upkeep of having a band. I might not get fills because I might think, "What's the point?" I think the RNY would better suit me because it is permenant. I can't go back and say, "Here, take this out of me because I don't want it anymore." Yes, with GB my pouch my stretch or I might get ulcers or I might leak stomach acid. Hell, I might even die during the surgery. But with the lapband there are risks too. I could die from surgery, my band could slip or worse: erode. I could not respond to it and that would just be a waste of money (in my opinion). I want to do what's best for me and my family. My bipolar is under control, but I still have that small twinge of depression left. And that is from being obese. I really wish I could accept myself because I know so many people who do accept me. But if I can't love myself, why does it matter. I need this surgery in order to feel comfortable again... You know...when I was at my lowest, 200 lbs, I felt so sexy and fun. But now at 250 lbs, I don't feel that anymore. I feel like a whale. I know surgery isn't a cure all and I don't expect that. What I do expect it to do is to HELP me lose weight, instead of going at it alone. I've told only a few people that I'll be getting weight loss surgery and their response is always, "Oh but you don't need it. You're a normal weight." or "But you're so pretty. Why would you do something like that?" I need to do it because if I don't, my weight will kill me! I feel as though the lapband, while it works great for other people, I honestly and truly think it's not for me. I wanted so bad and so long, but after digging through my soul (wow. that's deep), I found that I need something that will be with me forever. I don't think I could handle having a foreign object in my body. Maybe I'm just being a big baby with all this stuff. I don't know though. I just wish I had a magic 8 ball to tell me what surgery I should go with. JRG

It says under my wonderful, sexy picture of Joey Ramone, that I joined lapbandtalk in September of 2008. Yet, I kind of left in December 2008 because I was misdiagnosed as having Recurrent Depressive Episodes. Unfortunately, being misdiagnosed with RDE instead of BP is common. I honestly now know what normal feels like. I know what it is to not having racing thought with that bad tinge of depression and suicidal ideation. Can you imagine? Being told you are depressed and given anti depressants and they work on everyone else but you? I was finally given a mood stabilizer in March and I have never felt better. My doctors are now treating me as someone with bipolar, instead of someone with depression. They are now looking at me with a clearer picture. Did I mention how nice it is to be normal? I tell you: IT FEELS GREAT!!!:smile2:

It says under my wonderful, sexy picture of Joey Ramone, that I joined lapbandtalk in September of 2008. Yet, I kind of left in December 2008 because I was misdiagnosed as having Recurrent Depressive Episodes. Unfortunately, being misdiagnosed with RDE instead of BP is common. I honestly now know what normal feels like. I know what it is to not having racing thought with that bad tinge of depression and suicidal ideation. Can you imagine? Being told you are depressed and given anti depressants and they work on everyone else but you? I was finally given a mood stabilizer in March and I have never felt better. My doctors are now treating me as someone with bipolar, instead of someone with depression. They are now looking at me with a clearer picture. Did I mention how nice it is to be normal? I tell you: IT FEELS GREAT!!!:rolleyes2:

Bypass or band? Band or bypass? Please sir, may I have both? God, I'm pathetic. I did so much research and time and looking up stuff that I thought I would never look up, and look where I am; I'm choosing RNY over the band. I believe that RNY would be better for me because I feel I keep with the upkeep of having a band. I might not get fills because I might think, "What's the point?" I think the RNY would better suit me because it is permenant. I can't go back and say, "Here, take this out of me because I don't want it anymore." Yes, with GB my pouch my stretch or I might get ulcers or I might leak stomach acid. Hell, I might even die during the surgery. But with the lapband there are risks too. I could die from surgery, my band could slip or worse: erode. I could not respond to it and that would just be a waste of money (in my opinion). I want to do what's best for me and my family. My bipolar is under control, but I still have that small twinge of depression left. And that is from being obese. I really wish I could accept myself because I know so many people who do accept me. But if I can't love myself, why does it matter. I need this surgery in order to feel comfortable again... You know...when I was at my lowest, 200 lbs, I felt so sexy and fun. But now at 250 lbs, I don't feel that anymore. I feel like a whale. I know surgery isn't a cure all and I don't expect that. What I do expect it to do is to HELP me lose weight, instead of going at it alone. I've told only a few people that I'll be getting weight loss surgery and their response is always, "Oh but you don't need it. You're a normal weight." or "But you're so pretty. Why would you do something like that?" I need to do it because if I don't, my weight will kill me! I feel as though the lapband, while it works great for other people, I honestly and truly think it's not for me. I wanted so bad and so long, but after digging through my soul (wow. that's deep), I found that I need something that will be with me forever. I don't think I could handle having a foreign object in my body. Maybe I'm just being a big baby with all this stuff. I don't know though. I just wish I had a magic 8 ball to tell me what surgery I should go with. JRG

As you can see from the title, my doctor has not been sending in my records in to UIC (my hospital) and it has gotten my dander up. I've asked for my records more than a month and a half ago. I know she is violating IL HIPAA and also her ethics. I really don't know what to do, other than call my insurance and tell them that she is not giving up my records. I've even asked for them myself, but no go. And I've talked to UIC and they have exhausted all options. Does anyone have a clue on what to do next?:smile: Thanks, JRG

Wow, thanks for the support and everything! So, here's what I've done yesterday: 1)Posted same question on obesityhelp.com and got a response that was more, "let's create waves than solve problems". Although I have to admit, it would be something I would do. 2)Called my insurance (bcbs PPO) and asked what I can do. They said they really can do nothing, but they gave me the number to the American Medical Association: 1-800-621-8335 (just in case anyone needs it, boom. There it is.) 3)Goes back to the anwser on OH.com and what parrotheadkathy and falloutgal suggested: go over to my doc's office and tell her to get my records and if she doesn't do it in a timely manner, let's say hour and a half, I will call the AMA and her hospital's ethics line. This is my plan of action. I actually created a log of what dates I called on and had letters sent to her, saying to PLEASE release my records. You know what? This thing is giving me unnecessary anxiety over just a few pieces of paper. I'm going to be telling that to her too. JRG

I have tried to "search" University of Illinois, but I can't find anything related to this hospital, in terms of if the surgery is good. If you have had experience with U of I, please PLEASE, tell me. I tried to contact the Kane Center, but they've been playing phone tag with me and not anwsering my calls. I would go to Silver Cross, but it's in Joliet and I live near Downtown Chicago (also, the 'rents don't want me to go far and they want to keep the money local). Does anyone recommend U of I, or did they have a great time at one hospital or another and want to direct people to that hospital? FYI: I have Bc/Bs PPO (my dad is under EIT. Local 134), so I have to go to a place that Bc/Bs says to go to.

Hey all, I have some bad news. I am admitting myself to a mental hospital and won't be able to be around for some time. The reason is, is because I've been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and have been having panic attacks all month. I'll make this story somewhat short, so bear with me. I was home schooled all my life, until I begged my parents, to let me join a regular high school. Freshman year was okay, but my sophomore year was hell. I was stalked, sent death threats, was in verbal and physical fights with three girls from this school. Not only that, but the school administration told me it was my fault. The reason these girls picked on me? I was talking to guys and they said that I shouldn't even look at guys because a) I was fat, I was ugly and c) the guys I hang out with are just humoring me because they feel sorry for me. I couldn't take it anymore and I was seriously thinking of suicide. My parents pulled me out, but damage was done; I had severe (now upgraded to chronic) depression, general anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder. This was a little more than four years ago and I'm still feeling the aftershocks. This year however, I enrolled in a community college and was a full time student. But as the days and weeks went on, I started having panic attacks and deepening depression. I keep thinking that everyone hates me and wants me to go. I really want to do well in my classes, but I can't concentrate and I just feel so...lost, confused and angry and hurt. I'm thinking of death and how wonderful the world would be without me. I just want to disappear and the world can move on. These thoughts are what prompted me to get help. I need to get better and not let these thoughts invade my mind anymore. I just ask that you think of me so I can get better. I'll be around tonight anwsering some questions on other boards (like, mineral make up:tongue2:). God bless and I wish everyone well, Katie AKA JoeyRamonesGirl

Hey all, Thanks for all the encouraging posts and private messages I've received over these past two weeks. It made me cry for the all outpouring of support I got. Thank you! *HUGS* I'm back. I just popped in to give you guys an update: I didn't go to the mental hospital like I wanted, but I went into an Intensive Outpatient Program (a day psyche war if you will) and I'll probably be there for a couple of months. I'm trying not to go on the computer as much because I believe that holds a lot of reasons why I'm depressed: bored, anxious, tired (and more. It's not just the computer either. It's sleeping, reading and non-social activities). For me, I'm still recovering and I just want to be mentally healthy. I'm still trying to take it one day at a time. Hope everyone is okay and love ya lots! Katie (AKA JRG)

WHOOT! SNT you're in bandland (lucky duckie) :cool2: Hope everything went well and remember that those drugs are legal; so don't be asking for another band after the drugs wear off! :rolleyes2: :thumbdown::rose::thumbup::smile: YAY SickNTired!

Hey SickNTired! Surgery is coming! You'll do awesome and everything will turn out great! Make sure you tell us how everything went! YOU GO GIRL!

This is my opinion; if people have to link articles to things that THEY think are right, they obviously don't have enough information on the subject anyway. If you can't express your ideas clearly and precisely, what's the point of posting? Make your opinion your own, not someone else's. And don't say it's to back up what you are saying. Someone just thought of saying something better than you!! Now I don't mind if people post articles for how your body works, but when it says that scientists SUPPOSEDLY found the "fat" gene, "skinny" gene, "why-I-eat-everything" gene, I just walk away.

PICTURES...NOW...KITTENS...oh god, I just think I will get a cuteness overload! :biggrin:

Triple ditto counseling. I might also suggest psychotherapy as an option as well. Since food and/or your weight was an issue and probably took up most of your energy, you don't have anything else to concentrate on. If it's any comfort, I've been through psychotherapy, counseling and group therapy.The doctors and social workers want you to get better and be a better person. I say this stuff, because some people a stigma with any mental therapy or help.It's nothing bad to worry about because everyone needs it at some point in their lives. The sooner you get help, the sooner you can feel better. Now that you've taken care of your psychical health, get some help for your head. You'll totally see through this and be awesome!:biggrin: *HUGS*

*NOTE*: This doesn't deserve a new thread, so I'm just posting it here to let off some steam. ***RANT***:thumbup: I got canceled for my appointment today at the hospital. This happened last time too at the Kane Center. I had such a bad panic attack when this happened because it relates back to when I was young and I just connected the dots and I just lost it. I hate myself because maybe I don't deserve the band or any type of surgery; I'm just doomed to be fat the rest of my life. Now I know that's not true, but sometimes I can't help but feel...well, helpless. ***END RANT***:biggrin: Why does diet rootbeer taste so good? The gods should be punished!:wink2:

:blushing:Sorry. I want the band, but I hate going to the complications board because then I question if I want the band or not; with the sleeve, it's permanent, so really no worries (other than stretching of the pouch, leaks from the staples, etc.) No problem-o!:wink2: You worked so hard and now, you can get what you wanted to help change your life. Good job! Happy Bandeversery Luluc! Thoughts to the newbies on the board who want the band or pearls of wisdom? C'mon! Share!:biggrin:

I haven't tried Bare Minerals but I have tried the Avon version of mineral makeup and the Revlon version of the make up and I have to say that it's at a tie. Avon's makeup was easy to apply, covered up really well and lightened up my dark circles. The down side was that it has a weird smell, made my skin look orange in some light and it took a long time to absorb. Revlon's makeup didn't smell, nice color (I'm super pale, so anything with color in it looks bad on me), absorbed and looked very, very natural. The down side is that you have to do the make up in thin layers, brush that comes with it is awful and the make up is hard to get out of container (you have to tap some make up unto a flat surface so you can get it out). I personally like both, but I'm using the Revlon right now, since I'm all out of my Avon stuff! Happy make up searching!

Good luck on your surgery sickNtired! In case I forget to say it on Thursday, you'll do awesome!

PJTP: *RUNS AROUND HOUSE* I got an appointment with the hospital people tomorrow! What should I wear? I think my corset with neon green lacing is out....how about my skull hoodie with bondage pants? I totally can slip in some weights in the pockets. PJTP: Thinking of bleaching my hair again. I want to dye it dark red, but I hate when it turns pink. Purple might be nice. Had teal before, but washed out quickly. *PONDERING* MacMadame and WASabubblebutt: I've been researching on different surgeries (RNY: no. I like innards. DS: Again, like innards and don't like being gassy.) I saw that I hadn't researched the sleeve, but I looked it up and got some info and now I'm wondering if I should get it. Since you had a band (and, I believe, WASabubblebutt) and got sleeved after, which one would you go with now that you've had both, if you could choose again.

We have people that we would sleep with, if they want us. So we would essentially break up and then get back together when we're done.Mine are: James Woods (god, that voice...) Conan O' Brian Jack Davenport (NORRINGTION!) [if he was still alive] Joey Ramone Criss Angel Marilyn Manson (yeah, he looks like a freak, but his personality is so much like mine that it's scary!) My boyfriends' people are: Scarlett Johanson [if she was still alive] Marilyn Monroe Halle Berry [and for some reason] Ellen DeGeneris, if she wasn't gay. Sarah Silvermen

I don't know MacMadame. I would love to be in your place right now; I'm just starting and I wish I had this surgery yesterday! Sorry it's not as fun though. PJTP: I kicked DDR butt today! I was on basic, level 6 and 7 and completed three hard venues! WHOO go me! PJTP: Consoler tomorrow! Then I have a pre meeting with people for the band on MONDAY!!!*RUNS AROUND HOUSE JUMPING FOR JOY* PJTP: Can you tell I'm super tired? Ya. I'm going to bed people. Night-night!

Ohhh...I'm not surprised that plain is amused by that. My boyfriend is like that. He'll find the most "vertical" object I'm holding "exciting" and raise his eyebrows and go, "Try it on me?" 2cents: hate RR. hate Oprah. Love Conan O' Brian!:tt2: (Do you think he'll divorce his wife and marry me? Just asking!)

:laugh:It's all good. You really didn't need to apologize, because that is what I thought. You didn't hurt my feelings; I just expressed my opinion. Also as Froggi said that it's hard to communicate "how" to say something. I should be the one to say sorry to you because I didn't mean for it to become PC all of a sudden. So don't feel bad because I'm the one who should of worded what I needed to say differently. So don't worry about it! :eek:

*SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS* Okay, I have to do a six month pre op diet in order for my insurance to cover me, but whenever I tell someone that I'm on a diet and I'm going to get a band, they say: "Oh, you can do it on your own. You just have to be strong and not eat all those sweets. 'Kay sweetie?" (This was from my aunt who is not exactly skinny. More like "overweight"). Then she smiles at me and turns away. My parents are EXACTLY the same. Oh you can do it on your own. You don't need the surgery. You just have to eat less, exercise more. You need to buy better clothes. You need to get a job and be busy. If you lose a lot of weight, will you still get the surgery? (Yes, because no matter how much I lose, I gain it all back and more. This is even with me following the diet!). I mean, I need to get the surgery because I have never been skinny in my life. I have always been the fat one and I was always picked on through out my life. I just want to be under 200 lbs for once in my life. I just want to be able to have confidence in myself. I just want to be NORMAL! I hate feeling as though everyone is laughing at me or despising me because I'm a huge walrus. I know now that I can't tell anyone that I'm on a diet and I'm getting surgery because it hurts too much when they say I can do it on my own. If I could do it on my own, I wouldn't be here! I'm seriously thinking that I'm doomed to be fat for the rest of my life because I can never be skinny. I know that being healthy isn't "end all be all", but when you've been picked on most of your life about your weight (and from family members, no doubt.) it feels like it. *Side-note*: This isn't a pity party. I'm just ranting and expressing my views. The last thing I need is someone telling me to suck it up and stop being so self absorbed. If that's what you're going to say, don't say it. Okay? Thanks!