BabySpoons

Thanks for this chuckle @summerset. So true.
There will always be these types of people and there numbers seem to be growing. At Christmas, my brother’s mother-in- law responded to my youngest brother’s Christmas half hug & greeting with ‘’You are grossly overweight.’ She actually greeted me quite warmly which was unusual but then when she was leaving she told me she didn’t know who I was (which explained the warm greeting on arrival 🙄). Sure I haven’t seen her since I lost my weight but for F’s sake I’ve known her for almost 40years which included many years I was slim. Hurtful but pretty much what we expect for her - insensitive, tactless, cold B.

I saw a few relatives over the Christmas holiday that hadn't seen me since WLS in April. All were very supportive and complimentary of my 100+ weight loss.
One gal who is overweight, was very interested and asked many questions, considering WLS for herself. Then she said, "I don't know... I'm not really ready to take the easy way out." 🙄 Uhhhh
I didn't get mad because I knew she was just being ignorant, but I did say... "Honey... it's far from easy."
No one had been rude or called me fat when I weighed 320 lbs. at my heaviest. But they didn't have to. The look of shock, to those who knew me before, said it all. Strangers all treated me like I was invisible.
But now? I read someone on here say, if I wasn't good enough for them when I was overweight, I'm too good for them now. Kind of agree with that.

Hello All-
i posted for the first time just about three years ago with some anxieties as a spouse with my wife prepping to undergo the gastric sleeve. I originally noted being concerned about our lifestyle changes, relationship impacts (I had heard all the horror stories) and most of all health concerns into the future.
The community was incredibly supportive and I had learned tips and useful knowledge that helped me coach and support my wife through it. I am happy to say we are better than we ever have been and her self confidence is through the roof. However the MAIN reason the surgery ever was even considered was to get her diabetes that started while she was pregnant with our first child and got very concerning bad with our fourth has still stuck around and caused issues…..
First- this is Life changing not just for the partner getting the surgery, but the spouse too. We used to be foodies and that all had to go out the door. Same with alcohol. Two bites and you are full, a pint and you are drunk. So activities, dates, etc. and new hobbies should all be prepared for well in advance. Luckily we are both athletes and coaches and this allowed to have an outlet that wasn’t our prior foodies and beer/ brewery culture pastime.
Two- Relationship, anyone who tells you that this leads to automatic divorce/ break up is paranoid or lying. Out of her support group offered by our health network, I think only 1 or 2 of about fifteen women ended up separating and that was from the other spouse cheating. I have to say that in many ways, after four kids and all our activities, youth sports and coaching- it created a second honeymoon period for us and really strengthened our romance and relationship because we both focused on our health again jointly and the magnetism increased dramatically.
Third- It might not fix the problem…. We did not jointly go into the surgery for cosmetic or weight loss reasons. It was the diabetes and the doctors said it was a solid shot to cure or mitigate the disease. It was for a while, but it keeps back up. despite healthy eating, despite exercise and coaching, despite the surgery- medications came back into the picture and so did the celebrity weight loss drug (which is really supposed to be for diabetes…) This has been keeping everything under control but is a case of the cure being as bad as the sickness. The side effects are brutal and definitely have a quality of life impact, but we both want to live to see grandkids someday…..
Fourth- dysmorphia is VERY really. We are both naturally larger people. I was a lineman in high school and college and she was a softball catcher in high school and college and ended up also playing women’s rugby there as well. Even with the surgery she went from an XL to L but she got her college/ high school figure back and as such her confidence went through the roof and started dressing like she hadn’t in years. With the medication though??? Her figure, face shape, everything changed. Down to a Small or Medium. For almost a year and a half she hasn’t recognized herself in the mirror. It’s a double wham with the surgery and the medication.
Between her best friends and myself (we have all been in the same friend/ team group since college) the support was to have fun with it and go with the flow. Instead of worrying about it (the dysmorphia) it was embrace the change. All new clothes she could never wear before, she’s been a redhead now and then blonde and still is. Cut her hair shorter, started wearing makeup (never really did)- all just to try and put a positive spin on it. I’ve been the spoiled recipient of having a brand new girl (don’t think I haven’t romanced and spoiled the you-know-what out of her), but at the end of the day it’s been mitigation of all the life changes.
The last part has been the most detailed because it’s the most recent and to me has been the most impactful- NOT having the surgery do its intended purpose and the dysmorphia we’re both very difficult given the efforts and life changes made. We’ve done everything we can to make lemonade out of those lemons though. We had an anniversary vacation better than our honeymoon this past summer (she has always been way out of my league and these days it’s very much over the top- I feel incredibly spoiled) and we have made time to ride our bikes together with our oldest babysitting the kids and we come to each others games when we coach.
I would tell any spouse; husband or wife of someone who is going to have the surgery and then or also do all the meds:
1. Support. It’s a huge deal and you need to show up.
2. Don’t get insecure about your relationship because of the surgery. If you are worried it means you might not have a great relationship to start with….
3. You will need to change your life too. Because of my size and my weight lifting, I need a lot of Protein and calories. I will never look like a Hollywood star (like she now does) and always an NFL lineman- BUT- if I bring a cannoli, pie or a full growler into the house in addition to steak/ salmon, etc it’s teasing and not fair. You will need to learn self control to support your spouse…
4. Inspire and come up with ideas for positive re-enforcement. If the dysmorphia or depression sets in, you need to find fun things to do, supportive steps to take and positive angles to keep things going.
5. If you are doing all this as a spouse, what about YOU??? Are you going to die a martyr? Take care of YOURSELF too. I go lifting 3 times a week, go fishing in season. And for my 40th birthday when she asked what I wanted?? I got us a long weekend on the Cape, bought her some dresses I wanted to see her in and sent her to get her hair, nails, toes, eyelashes, etc.. done. Said I wanted a long weekend with my movie star wife. It was a great time, kid free and continued to strengthen our marriage.
Anyways- why am I writing this? Posterity? Self reflection? Not really…. I just want to give Spouses a roadmap. It’s a huge change and you need to navigate the waters well. If you do you will benefit as much as your loved one.
Good luck.

**Trigger warning: domestic abuse**

My name is Georgia, I am 27, and I have been 'bigger' for my entire adult life, and a lot of my childhood too.
I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) insulin resistant type, and an Underactive Thyroid, both of which cause me to put on weight quickly, retain weight, and makes losing weight extremely difficult.
I can't even remember the countless amounts of fad diets I have been on, or the amount of times I have tried to lose weight, but failed again and again. When I was 18 I was going to the gym 5-6 times a week for over an hour, I was doing HIIT training and Tai Chi, and I was jogging, eating well etc, but I still only managed to lose 2 stone in a year - make it make sense! I didn't know back then that I had underlying conditions that made it hard for me to lose weight, so I internalised a lot of the guilt in not being able to get healthy, and it resulted in me putting on around 6 stone from then until now.
I was also a victim of domestic abuse/violence, and a lot of the verbal abuse that I suffered was centred around my weight - constantly being told by my ex-partner that I was fat, he would pinch my thighs, tummy, arms etc, telling me he was seeing how many inches I could lose. It completely broke me, and I started binge eating in secret. He ended up leaving me, telling me that he could no longer be with me due to my weight and how it made me sexually unattractive.
I think I am probably just over 20 stone now. My back hurts when I walk, I cannot look in any mirrors without feeling low, I don't feel comfortable going out in public, and I am exhausted all the time.
Every time I went to my GP about something, I was always told I needed to lose weight, as if it were a miracle cure and so simple to do just by trying hard enough. It was always blamed on me not putting in enough effort - and those in the UK will know that the NHS isn't a simple thing to navigate and the waiting lists for obesity support are long and often disheartening.
Around 2 years ago I was put on a waiting list for weight loss management with the NHS. I was finally accepted in September of 2023. This is a year long commitment to the weight loss management pathway (Tier 3), in which you have to lose 5% of your weight in order to then be put on to another waiting list for a referral for the actual WLS (Tier 4). I have been told that this can take a further 4-6 years.
I had a harrowing thought that by the time my WLS actually came around, I'd be well into my 30s, still desperately unhappy with myself, and I would have put on even more weight and probably be immobile. I can no longer do this to myself. I deserve better.
I made the decision to look into private weight loss surgery, and I had a free consultation with a recommended surgeon just before Christmas 2023. This was genuinely the first time that a medical professional sat me down and talked to me with some humanity about my weight. He told me that with my conditions (particularly the insulin resistance, and hormonal imbalance), that my metabolic rate needed an entire reset, and this was not possible to do without surgical intervention. He explained that the difficulties I have had in trying to lose weight and being unable to, are not my fault (though of course I accept responsibility that getting here in the first place is my fault), and that surgery is recommended as perhaps the only thing that will enable me to lose the weight. I have never felt so seen, and so heard.
I booked in my surgery for May 2024 there and then.
So, now I start my journey, and I was looking for support, and here I am. I look forward to posting on here and using this thread to update everyone once I have had my surgery!
I am quite an open and honest person, so if anyone wants to reach out to talk, my inbox is open

My newest NSV. Life is so tough now. I have just caught myself complaining that there is too much choice in the clothing sites online.
I used to rage when I could not find clothes in my pre op size.

I haven't had my surgery yet, but honestly some of the things I am most looking forward to are these:

being able to have most bath towels (especially ones at hotels) fit around me with no gaps. being able to wear my partner's clothes. not having to use my own weight as a way to get momentum to get off of a sofa. to be able to walk up a flight of stairs, or even just alongside my friends when we are walking without feeling out of breath and sweaty! Reading everyone's NSV's has been really encouraging. I can't wait to have my own!

Two years ago I bought a 3-in-1 winter parka that I'd had my eye on for a very long time, finally deciding to just do it. Now, 3 1/3 months post-op I can wrap it around in front just like one of those bathrobes and have put it up for sale on eBay (it was over $400, otherwise I'd just donate it locally).
Now I'm on the hunt for the same jacket, 4 sizes smaller.

It's one of the best feelings in the world for me too. I bought myself one of those big fluffy one size robes a few years ago and couldn't even close it in front. I saved it along with a bunch of other clothes "just in case" I ever lost the weight and now I'm swimming in it.
I'm also looking forward to swimming at the lake this summer and trying my hand at kayaking. I haven't got in the Water for years. I usually sit in the boat and watch everyone else. That's gonna change
Congrat's on your success @JFreeman

It's one of the best feelings in the world for me too. I bought myself one of those big fluffy one size robes a few years ago and couldn't even close it in front. I saved it along with a bunch of other clothes "just in case" I ever lost the weight and now I'm swimming in it.
I'm also looking forward to swimming at the lake this summer and trying my hand at kayaking. I haven't got in the Water for years. I usually sit in the boat and watch everyone else. That's gonna change
Congrat's on your success @JFreeman

It's one of the best feelings in the world for me too. I bought myself one of those big fluffy one size robes a few years ago and couldn't even close it in front. I saved it along with a bunch of other clothes "just in case" I ever lost the weight and now I'm swimming in it.
I'm also looking forward to swimming at the lake this summer and trying my hand at kayaking. I haven't got in the Water for years. I usually sit in the boat and watch everyone else. That's gonna change
Congrat's on your success @JFreeman

Had a couple NSVs last week. I stayed at a hotel for a couple of days and for the first time in at least 15 years I went swimming in a public swimming pool! I've always liked swimming but I haven't gone for a long time because I was uncomfortable taking my shirt off in public.
The second is that my hotel room had bathrobes and last time I stayed there, their "one size fits all" bathrobe was way too small for me, this time it actually seemed too big!

I just want to toot my own horn here and be a bit pround...sorry...not sorry. I'm 5+ years post surgery, 51 yo and playing beach volleyball (indoors)! I cant say Im all that good at it, but I try to play 2x a week and can run a 5k in 35 mins. Im the one in the black shirt and tan tights. From 315 lbs to about 175/180 lbs now and loving life in a whole new and sustainable way!
PS. The saggy butt is still even after getting a lift and skin removed.

Just came back from a short holiday with my kids and woke up to a nice surprise this morning after retuning to my work place. I had to call my wife right away to share the good news. I'm officially below my goal weight of 70 kg with a "NORMAL" BMI. I was worried I was not going to hit the goal before the second surgery-versary in January 24 but I did it.
Playing on all the rides in Legoland theme park and chasing my kids on the beach must have helped me lose the last stubborn 1 kg 🤣.


Here is a before and after. Left was a few months before the surgery (pants size 52") and right was two days ago (pants size 29"). Look at those thighs! You never realize how huge you were until you compare the before and after photos.

Dr. Weiner’s new podcast, enjoy!

If you lost a bunch of weight pre-surgery your loss post surgery may be slower for a little while. This is because the body has to recalibrate and reassure itself it isn't starving to death. It also has to replenish glycogen and rebalance your fluids and on and on. It's a lot of hard work for it!! And slow to one person is not slow to another person. I'm 6 weeks post op a DS and have lost 20 lbs. I did not lose much pre-op. I have been stalled for several weeks because that's the classic 3 week stall where the body does its thing to recalibrate to lose more weight. I'm not stressing about it, I just had a very major surgery! My body has been working hard! It takes time to recover.
You feel like you are starving because you aren't getting your fluids in by mouth. Trust me, once you are getting all your fluids in it becomes a challenge to find times to eat and drink everything you need in a day. Getting fluids by IV will keep making the scale jump by 10 lbs because they Fluid load you to last a few days. You are probably losing fat, it just isn't showing on the scales because of the IV fluids. Make sure you take measurements too, those often change when the scale doesn't. I wish you much luck in getting off the IVs!

Whether or not this OP was a troll, I find it interesting to read here or watch (My 600-pound Life) that food addiction is so prevalent in some peoples' lives that they would rather die than live without their huge amounts of favorite unhealthy food.
Some live in denial when obese. Thinking we will somehow be OK and continue on in that lifestyle. Co-morbidities will eventually catch up. Others simply don't care, with the mindset, " We're all going to die of something someday". Both mindsets are true of most addictive behaviors.
I think most of us here really tried pre-op. Through endless amounts of diets and/or hours of exercise to finally admit we needed help and did something about it. Hence our lack of regret.
To misquote an old saying, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.... I say nothing tastes as good as healthy feels. Hugs everyone!!

Whether or not this OP was a troll, I find it interesting to read here or watch (My 600-pound Life) that food addiction is so prevalent in some peoples' lives that they would rather die than live without their huge amounts of favorite unhealthy food.
Some live in denial when obese. Thinking we will somehow be OK and continue on in that lifestyle. Co-morbidities will eventually catch up. Others simply don't care, with the mindset, " We're all going to die of something someday". Both mindsets are true of most addictive behaviors.
I think most of us here really tried pre-op. Through endless amounts of diets and/or hours of exercise to finally admit we needed help and did something about it. Hence our lack of regret.
To misquote an old saying, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.... I say nothing tastes as good as healthy feels. Hugs everyone!!

I don't know if weight loss has put me in a mind state of "cleaning house" but I have been going through every room, closet and cupboard getting rid of junk and unnecessary items I've held on to for years. Losing the weight and an organized house feels reeeeally good.
Even though I haven't tried this trick, it still made me smile.
Happy Healthy Holidays everyone!

I put on a xl hoodie for the 1st time in 10 years and looked good in it

My go-to song is Kelly Clarkson's "Since You've Been Gone" lol.
Its def a challenging one, but for what I lack in talent, I make up for in ENTHUSIASM 😂

I had issues similar to yours where I started with a sleeve in 7/2020 my body started going through severe issues that I couldn’t even hold down a sip of Water causing me to vomit uncontrollably in the end of 8/2020 I went to use my restroom and I collapsed. My surgical team had me enter a rehab to try and help me build up my strength and put in a PICC line. I was in the rehab for 6 weeks and the team started to work with my insurance and got permission for a revision to a bypass.(my brain started to have issues with retaining short term memories due to lack of nutrition) Had the revision to bypass done in 3/2021 My body took forever to start to regulate and start to work the way it is supposed to. I pushed myself to do as much work with my brain to get back to “normal “ as much as possible and I’d say I am about 90% recovered. Physically I’m back to “normal” most days occasionally I’ll still have a nauseous day or some dumping but I was just at my dr last week and I am down just shy of 200lbs
stay strong you will get through this
Family members ask me if I could rewind time if I’d still go through with the surgery and I say I may have opted for the bypass instead of the sleeve but absolutely because if I didn’t get that weight off I know without a doubt I’d be dead within a few years so even with all these issues the surgery was worth it.

I'm supposed to have my surgery on Dec 27th at Mt Auburn Hospital in Cambridge, MA, with pre-op tests scheduled for next week. Today, I get an automated message from my hospital to check MyChart. I did, and it showed my pre-test appointment as canceled. My surgery date is also gone from my upcoming visits. No explanation. Meanwhile, my insurance approval appears to have gone through. I called the weight management center's office and the receptionist mumbled something about surgeries being canceled and someone would call to explain. No one has called all day. I emailed, too, but nothing. Now the office is closed for the day and I'm so worked up over this, I won't get a wink of sleep. It wouldn't be such a big deal if it had to be delayed, except I am currently on an insurance plan through the healthcare marketplace as I am self-employed and my husband has been unemployed for a bit. But he starts a new job in January and I have no idea what the health insurance situation is going to be in terms of coverage. I am so stressed right now I could cry.

I made it past 100 pounds lost! 11 more to go until I get to my goal weight of 150  

For the first time in years, I'm under 200 pounds. Woo hoo. Lost 34 pounds pre-op and now 24 post-op. Surgery was on October 2nd. Weight loss has been slower than I expected, but my nutritionist said that I have lost 48% of my excess weight and am right on track. Yay!