kbsleeved

My two biggest NSVs recently were fitting into a regular-sized hotel robe and being able to go to the store and buy a new shirt (size large!) when I spilled coffee all over the one I wore to work. Pre-op I would have been totally stuck unless I was lucky enough that one of the stores near my office had something that could fit a 3X.

So, what things about the bari world/community give you the ick? No idea why, but for me it's the word "pouch" and the concept of having a pouch inside of me -- I'm sure there are good psychological reasons for why most bari professionals use that term post-op, but for me I will always call it my stomach and I feel so much better when other people do too.

For the record, "gives you the ick" is a popular thought/discussion prompt currently, but you may not be familiar with it if you're not a frequent user of tiktok and tumblr, as I am. It's fine to not be familiar with something, it's not fine to imply that other people are somehow deficient or immature for using a slang term you're not familiar with. It's also entirely possible to be fully aware of and familiar with the meaning of a common word or phrase like "surgery is a tool" or "pouch" and still feel a level of frustration, annoyance, or other negative association with it because of its frequent use within a sub-group to the point of cliche, meaninglessness, or because of how it's frequently employed as a conversation stopper or thought-terminating cliche. Again, it doesn't mean the person who doesn't like the word is stupid or lacks reading comprehension. People don't dislike the word "moist" because they don't understand it means damp. I hope you have a good day, despite your insistence on implying a bunch of strangers engaging in a light-hearted discussion about memes within their cultural subgroup are stupid because they don't agree with you.

Don't be surprised if your weight stalls when you start strength training. I started at the beginning of the year 3x/week and my weight stalled for a little more than two weeks but it finally started dropping again a few days ago once my body adjusted.

Yesssssssss thank you! I didn't do this so I could spend the rest of my life still tied up in diet culture bs and I definitely didn't do this to hate a very real and very important part of who I am and what my life is. There are a couple of doctors on yt who have really great/helpful videos for the most part but when you get to their videos about eating it goes completely off the rails. I saw one the other day recommending intermittent fasting to wls patients! How are you a doctor literally recommending disordered eating habits to patients trusting you to give them evidence-based information about how to eat!

Here's one I noticed the other day: I have a cleft chin again. As a kid I hated my "butt chin" and didn't really realize just how much it had disappeared as my face filled out, but now that you can actually see my jaw again, boom, butt chin is back and better than ever.

I see so much "I only lost x in y time, is that okay????" in tiktok comments and it's so exhausting. Sure you "only" lost 20 lbs in 3 months... how much would you have lost if you didn't have the surgery??

I purchased a workout plan from https://www.instagram.com/thebariatrictrainer/ before my surgery, it was easy to follow and not overly taxing, and reasonably priced. She has a lot of free videos on her instagram as well, I'd recommend her for a resource if you're looking to just have someone tell you what to do without investing in personal training.

Water hasn't really bothered me since a few weeks post op -- I can take a few big sips at a time (even through a straw) and can finish off 40 oz in an hour or so if I'm concentrating on it or working out, though it usually takes me a whole day to drink 80 oz just because I space it out. But I'm the same as you -- one egg and I feel fuller than anything, it's weird! Also echoing @kcuster83, the drinking while eating rule isn't because doing it will give you foamies or dumping, it's because it'll push the food out of your stomach too quickly and will contribute to you feeling hungry again faster than if you let the food sit long enough to make you feel satisfied. Think of your stomach as a funnel now, it doesn't have the capacity to store a lot of volume so if you put liquid on top of the food you already have in there, it will push the food right through to make room. Every program is different, but I will note mine specified drinking BEFORE eating isn't a problem.

I was feeling frustrated with myself for "overindulging" on NYE and then gave myself a reality check - "overindulging" meant I ate 5 bites of pizza, 1.5 shrimp, a couple of chips with guacamole, and a piece of tart... over the course of five and a half hours. I'm working on reframing my hang-ups about food and had to remind myself that pre-op I probably would have had at least two full slices of pizza, shrimp, charcuterie, tons of chips, and multiple types of desserts, and that it's OKAY to have a little bit more than usual on a holiday/special occasion, and that it's not going to mean completely torpedoing my progress.

Another vote in favor of a new doctor. He seems like the type who's going to default to "lose weight" as the answer to anything and you don't want to find yourself six months into fighting him to get him to take some seriously while he's insisting you just need to lose weight to fix your compound fracture. If you've never seen this video, I found it to be a really great explanation for why the best weight for a bariatric patient will almost never be the "ideal" weight according to the BMI chart:

I was wearing a size 26 jeans before my surgery but even my size 24 were so loose I had to roll them to keep them on lately. Yesterday I decided to buy a pair of size 20, thinking even if they didn't fit now, they'll fit in a few weeks. Got home and tried them on, they fit with no problem! I haven't been a size 20 in 15 years, I'm absolutely floored. I also went to the ballet with my family yesterday and not only did I wear a dress from my engagement photoshoot I haven't worn since 2015, but I actually had room instead of being crammed into the tiny theater seats!

I'm curious about everyone's thought process when picking their goal weight (if you have one, that is!) Is it a weight you've been before that you know feels good to you? Did you pick based on your doctor's recommendation or the BMI scale? Did you decide not to have one? I've been gaining weight steadily since puberty and have never had a time in my adult life where I felt like I was a weight that felt good on me, so I'm a little lost in the woods as to what my goal weight is or should be... honestly I picked a number at random and if I get there I'm planning on being open to revision once I see how I look/feel. Which brings up another question - if you had a goal weight, did it ever change, before or after you reached it? Why?

I'm very similar -- also 36, also haven't weighed under 200 since college. Would love to get there!

SAME. I keep shocking myself feeling bones where I can't remember feeling them before -- yesterday I was adjusting my bra before my workout and I was floored to feel my ribs under my bust! Plus my collarbone, jaw, hips... they're all still well-padded but they're making themselves known!

The best thing you can do now, as @kcuster83 said, is practice the habits that make you nervous and see if you can integrate them into your lifestyle, because they're non-negotiable post-op. My program doesn't have a restriction on drinking before meals but says no liquids until 30 minutes after meals, which annoyed me at first but now I hardly think about. I set a 30 minute timer on my watch when I'm done eating and I usually forget about it until it goes off. Wait until you have your consult to find out what your program's guidelines are, particularly around vitamins. They probably won't be as onerous as you're imagining -- I take a multi with iron + nexium in the morning, then 3 calcium chews at intervals throughout the day, and by 6 PM I'm done and I don't have to think about it again until the next morning. Reminders on your phone or smart watch if you have one help a lot. I also recommend getting a pill divider that has a separate case for each day of the week -- mine has a morning/mid-day/afternoon/evening compartment for each case, Sunday-Saturday. In the morning I just take out that day's case, stick it in my purse, and then I have it with me all day for when my reminder goes off. I know some people will also keep spare vitamins and calcium at work in case they forget. ETA: This is the pill organizer I use, it's quite small. There are even smaller options if you don't care about having them divided up by time of day, like this one or this one.

My only restriction is not to lift anything over 5 lbs (so my strength exercises were body weight only), otherwise my doctor told me to exercise as tolerated and just to be careful to listen to my body.

Trying to stave off a craving by eating something else is probably just going to lead to you eating something else AND the thing you're craving. Could you try plating a small portion of what you're craving along with something else more nutritionally dense and something with protein? So for instance, a piece of chocolate, some apple, and some peanut butter? That way you're getting the thing that sounds good, you're getting fiber, and you're getting protein, so you're full after you finish what's on your plate. This could also work with slider foods, just substitute chocolate with pretzels, chips, etc.

I'm a fan of the FA movement and I prefer it over "body positivity" because I feel like the latter is too often co-opted by straight-size people and take the focus away from prioritizing the people who are actually being marginalized because of their bodies, i.e. fat and disabled people. However, if I'm putting in a vote it's for the real focus being on body NEUTRALITY, because that's what is really needed -- deconstruction of personal and social attitudes that assign moral value to body size, which then leads to social, employment, and medical discrimination. Part of this is deconstructing the attitude that fat automatically equates to unhealthy. If anyone else is interested in exploring more of this idea, I highly recommend the podcast Maintenance Phase, which does deep dives into diet and wellness culture and most importantly, talks about all the ways that statistics have been misinterpreted and twisted to spread and reinforce myths about fat bodies.

That's super frustrating and disheartening, I'm sorry. Hopefully your friend was speaking from a place of caring about you and being genuinely worried and so was reacting from her gut without thinking instead of prioritizing being curious and supportive. Do you think when you've had some time to process and let the hurt fade a bit, you could go back to her and tell her how her reaction made you feel and try and tell her more about your thought process and how you came to this decision?

I bought an Apple Watch before surgery because I wanted to track my walks and apparently it comes with three free months of Apple Fitness+. Tried it for the first time tonight, did a 10 minute absolute beginner's HIIT workout and 10 minute absolute beginner's Functional Strength. I definitely preferred the HIIT, my shoulders felt super tight and "crunchy" which made me feel like I was doing the strength wrong, but it was the first time I did any working out post-op apart from walks outside or on the treadmill and they both went well! Definitely going to keep up with the 10 minute HIIT and then when I feel comfortable with it, try the 20 minute one on the playlist.

Congratulations!

That's really surprising to me! Maybe just visually it looks like more is removed than actually is, and it's more about placement, etc. I saw someone on tiktok yesterday who had a removal after 400+ lbs weight loss and her surgeon said he removed 47 lbs of tissue but she also had lipo done on her stomach and flanks at the same time so I assume the weight included fat.

My PA said the average patient loses 25% of their body weight, but I suppose the difference there is total body weight versus "excess" body weight.

You've already made such incredible progress! re: loose skin, I've always wondered if the people who have surgery to remove excess skin wake up to find themselves 10 lbs lighter post-op.