I am so sorry you had to go through that!!
Fill level, and finding the 'right' tightness is an individual decision. I don't think anyone should rush into getting filled too fast, since the result can be being overfilled, possibly causing damage, but at the very least, causing pain and needing a defill. My advice is to stick up for yourself.. if it sounds like the doctor wants to be too aggressive, and put in too much all at once, communicate with them and say that you want to take it slower. I am sure they would respect your decision. Higher fill level does not necesarily equal faster weight loss.
I really don't understand wanting to be super tight though. I have perfect restriction, I can eat pretty much anything, but in smaller portions. I lose about 3 pounds a week, am never really hungry and don't feel at all deprived. I can eat any solid Protein, as long as I chew chew chew and take small bites. No-one should be too tight that they can't get in solid protein. It leads to eating unhealthy, and eating soft and liquid meals, which often have more calories, without satisfying hunger.
If your doctor pushes you to fill too fast, or doesn't listen to you, find a fill centre or another doctor that can do your fills and listen to you. For those of you that are overfilled, take care, demand a defill if you feel you need it.
I'd like to see some of the fill doctors feel what it is like to spend the whole day not able to swallow your own saliva. Lol it would be nice if all of our doctors/fill care providers had been banded so they knew what it really felt like.