Sounds like you have quite a support system going here. But I totally understand. I was banded in August of 08 and once I found my sweet spot so to say, i had dropped 50 pounds by December, but my birth control failed me. So due to pregnancy I had a lot of my band unfilled because my last fill had caused me to be a little too tight and I was concerned with morning sickness and getting enough protien, etc. Well needless to say I gained ALL my weight back during pregnancy and after lost some of the weight but not all. and now am at a pretty stable 245 which is about 20 pounds less from my original weight. I haven't had a fill in over a year. I had 2 after my pregnancy but they were probably 4 months apart with absolutely no restriction or change, Plus I was not mentally prepared to make the change but was pushed to get fills by my husband. Mind you we no longer had insurance so fills were a little more than we could afford, hence the space in between fills. Now fast forward a little more than a year later, and I a fed up. I am scheduled to have a fill in a week. Very excited and nervous, because I too feel like a total failure and I don't know what to expect. I am starting a liquid diet in the morning to help me mentally prepare somewhat before I get my fill, something I did not do before. I agree with the others though, you need to find a doctor that will be more supportive, but also need to be sure this is what you are ready to do. After my experience last year and knowing that I was not mentally prepared to start my lap band life style, I know this is something you need to really want. So what, you have 6 children, i am a very busy mom too but I think we can do it. I know this time around I have found a support group that i will be attending, I need that accountability. My thing is I was doing so well with diet and all right before my pregnancy that now, I have forgotten where to start and how to eat etc. I wish you luck on your new journey. If you really want you YOU CAN DO THIS!!!