bitteroldhag

I have become hardened to the c-word for the vagina due to Vagina Monologues. The first time I did it, I was the Angry Vagina and brought the house down. But I had a hard time saying pussy. It just wasn't in my vocabulary. The director insisted that I say pussy so after doing the play twice, I got used to it and can say it with no problem. We have a whole section on the c-word which is hilarious. It ends with the whole audience shouting the c-word. Also someone brought in something that said that the c-word means goddess. I don't think it's true, but I like the idea. Still I don't use that word outside of the play. And if a man uses it, he's toast.

We do Vagina Monologues every year at the big U. Last year I directed it. There is a whole section at the beginning about what people call their vagina. Personally I call it my crotch, but there are some really funny names, especially coochie snortcher. People are starting to approach me about directing it again this year, but I'm saying no. Once is enough. Boy that was tiring. But I can say I've directed a play.

That's another thing. I have the fecal exam when I have the pap smear. I have never failed one, but still had a big polyp. So much for fecal exams.

I yeah. I remember the prep. My poor butt hurt for a week, and it didn't even clean everything out. I have irritable bowel syndrome which messed that up. But everything except the very top was clean as a whistle.

I've been restraining myself from getting political, but I really hope the Democrats take at least one house in the elections. Every time I take one of those online tests, I come out a libertarian. So I checked the libertarians and I'm definitely not a libertarian. I like streets and running Water and stuff like that. But this guy on the DailyKos did an essay on libertarian Democrats and I think I'm that. I don't like big corporations who screw their workers, but I also don't think a third party is likely in the U.S. But mostly I don't like people who make laws as a profession. I think we have enough laws. We don't need a lot more laws which is why I always like to have the opposing party from the President in Congress. That way they can't make a lot of useless laws. Also I note that congressmen and women tend to be interested in "number one" rather than the people they supposedly represent. Expediency pays. Machiavelli had something to say about that. I think we should do away with professional politicians and get back to the citizen politician that the Constitution envisioned. The drawback to that is that the only citizens who can afford to be politicians are rich people. Everyone else has to work. This is just the beginning of my political thoughts and I expect many of you to disagree with me. But that's what I think. I may weigh in with more later. P.S. I have lost 36 pounds since May!!!:biggrin1:

I am the elderlytoo, and I'm getting more elderly every day. I can't remember anything. My hip hurts off and on. I have all sorts of pills and I just want to retire. But I have to wait 2 1/2 years to retire early. I think people don't realize that some people age faster than others. I take care of my 86 year old mother (I will shoot myself before I am 86), 7 animals, a house, two cars, bills, etc., and I work. I'm getting old fast. But what the hell, I think I'll get out my ipod and dance to some good 60s numbers. Maybe I'm not all that old.

I once went in to buy boots and they were too tight around my calf. I said something about that and the sales woman said it wasn't her fault that my leg was too big. I never bought boots from them again. At that time I wore about a 16. I bought some boots last year and I can't zip them all the way up, but I just wear them half unzipped under my pants. But TOG is right. Young people are ignorant. I like to freak out my classes by pointing out that I wore a size 5 when I was a freshman in college. I suppose that would be a size 4 not. I'll guarantee that few of them wear a size 4. Then I tell them that on average people gain 10 pounds each decade of their lives. That really disturbs them. I'm really such a nasty person. By the way, the current media frenzy about fat is based in a flawed CDC study in 1998. Our textbook had a section on fat people with that study cited so I checked it out. I found out that the statistics were faulty. The listed the deviation from the mean on several of the sections and so I called the business dept. to find out what that was in the standard deviation. It turned out that on at least one group (the one I worked on) the standard deviation was plus/minus 70 pounds. That meant that some adult women weighed 40 pounds. I took statistics a long time ago, but at that time a standard deviation of over about 5 meant the study was iffy. Then the CDC admitted that the study was flawed, but this didn't make the big news. I know that Coke machines are being removed from schools in favor of juice. I happened to be drinking apple juice at the time, and it has 1 more gram of carbs than a Dr. Pepper and the bottle I was drinking had about 210 calories. So they are replacing soft drinks with fruit juice that is just as fattening, if not more so. Why are people so stupid?

Holy Cow, Green. I'm glad you are getting screened though I've never had a bone density test. Fat people usually have good bones. My mother's doctor told her that he didn't have to worry about her having osteoporosis since she was fat. Of course, that was 20 years ago and she's starting to shrink at age 86. I think you should get a new doc and have a colonoscopy. When I had mine the anesthetist didn't quite put me under far enough so I felt it when they put the air in, but I didn't feel anything else until the doc was cutting off some strange skin lesions which turned out to be benign. I could feel him cutting one out but it didn't hurt. He was most upset that I could feel it though it didn't seem to bother him that when he took the stitches out, the thing gaped open and got infected. I have a big scar there now. There's nothing like incompetence in the medical field. I'm going to Mexico for any further surgery. They're better surgeons and I got better care there for a lot less money.

I'd have liked a hysterectomy at 31. I'd like one now. It's a good excuse to miss school for 6 weeks. But, alas, I'm apparently very healthy in my totally useless uterus and ovaries. I had a colonoscopy this year for the first time and had a large polyp which is bad. The doc wanted me to have another colonoscopy in 3 years but I talked him into 5 years. It took a long time to get that polyp and I don't think I'll get another one for a while, but doctors have to live too.

My, my Jo Ann. You are even grumpier than I am and that's saying a lot. We have a yappy dog in the neighborhood, but I don't mind it because my four dogs are so obnoxious that I'm surprised the neighbors haven't shot them. What I'd really like to dropkick is my boss's head into hell. How's that for grumpy?

Why did they do all of this? You poor thing. At least, you know what women go through every year. Isn't that mammogram thing awful?

I was on steroids twice in the past two months and didn't lose a pound. I retained the usual water and was hungry as a bear. It was depressing. If you can get off whatever you have to take, do it. Have surgery. Get rid of your uterus. I've been trying to get rid of my uterus for 20 years and still have the damn thing. I even had two of those incredibly painful uterine biopsy things where they don't give you any painkillers and zip, nada, nothing. The last time I had one of those, I swore that the next time any male doctor suggested such a thing, I'd say I would go home and get my pliers and he could go right ahead, but when I hurt, he was going to hurt worse. Male docs have some sort of thing about poking painful instruments up women. But I'm ranting. I will start my own rant about this. I hope you get better soon. Otherwise, discuss gastric bypass with your docs if you are fat enough. I don't think people who need to lose 30 pounds should go through all of this.

Carlene -- I see that as usual you have done your research. Thank God. This broad is awful. But I personally think she's making a whole lot of money because A) she's good looking :girl_hug: she'll say anything to make a buck. The sad thing is that TV and the internet is saturated with folks who will say anything to make a buck. Luckily, not many of them are good enough looking to be on TV. But Ann Coulter has to make as much as possible as quickly as possible because she isn't going to look that good, without lots of plastic surgery, forever. I like to watch Fox news on occasion for the humor. What about you?:eek:

The Mexican docs are very good. I used Dr. Rodriguez in Monterrey and he did a very good job. The big hospital is fabulous. I recommend him,

TOM -- I had this same problem with my friend's son. When he first came to the U.S. he sounded like he had a mouthful of pudding. I couldn't understand a thing he said. After a year or so here in Oklahoma, he learned American English with a British accent. People loves it. A trash hauler from Britain can come to the U.S. and people will think he's a toff because he has a British accent. Weird, isn't it? But as someone said, England and American are two great countries divided by a common language.

In my classes and I've taught English for 23 years, we learn standard English. We don't write like you speak. Standard English is necessary for kids to get good jobs, so we write in Standard English, or else. I appreciate various dialects. I speak Okie/Texan, but when it comes to writing, I tell my students to write like a newscaster speaks.

The 12 items or less lane really bugs my friend who is a British English professor here in Oklahoma. She gripes about it all the time. I'm thrilled that someone other than an English teacher has even noticed this.

TO -- Most of your idea is excellent, but adding an -ing with a form of "to be" makes a verb present participle. The active verb is present or past since they don't have a form of "to be" with them. Using a form of "to be" makes a verb passive. The present participle means that something is ongoing in the present. "I am loving it" means the person is loving it for a quite a while now. "I was loving it" means that a person was loving it for quite a while in the past. Isn't this stuff confusing? Luckily I was forced to teach traditional grammer in college for about 3 semesters so I learned a whole lot of grammer. I even know what a particle is.:biggrin1:

This is hilarious. But I do try to keep up with the kids so I knew "bad" meant "good" years ago. But what a funny story.

Holy cow! You MIL talks like my family and I understand them perfectly even though I don't actually speak non-standard English except for cussing.

I did some genealogy on my family who were from the South. The spelling in contracts, wills, etc., was abysmal. The handwriting was wonderful, but the spelling was awful.

This is too true. Students depend on spellchecker, grammar checker, etc., withouth realizing that these programs were written by computer geeks, not English majors. Most writing centers do not correct students' papers without the student present. They try to teach the student how to use standard English. In fact, it is verboten to just run over a paper without showing the student how to fix the problems, so he/she can do it by his/her self in the future. We try harder.

My brother used to work with a guy at a service station. When it was hot and humid, the guy would say, "It's not the heat, it's the humility." One of the funniest things a student ever wrote was: "Communism, like an octopus, spread its testicles all over the world." That happened in an essay a a professor in Illinois received from the student. Every time I think of it, I laugh, sometimes in places that I shouldn't laugh.

For years my brother and I went to church where we would sing "Bringing in the Sheaves." We sang "bringing in the cheese." It made more sense to us.

Thanks for clarifying the facts here though actually people were sent to prison in Australia from England. And women went there to marry men who were already there because there weren't enough men in England in the 19th century. But I like Australians. They're fun and seem to be nice and reasonable. Regarding God in the U.S., most of the founders were actually Deists who nominally belonged to a church. Benjamin Franklin discusses the fact that he went to the Presbyterian church once and didn't like the minister's sermon so he didn't go again. If one lived in a rural area, it wasn't easy to go to church in those days since it could be a day's wagon ride to the church. So they had circuit riding ministers. My great, great grandfather was a Methodist circuit riding preacher in Virginia. Claims that we are only a Christian nation aren't really true, and I think Christ would have a problem with people trying to force others to be Christians. Of course, I don't really know what he'd think, but I'm guessing this based on what is reported about him in the Bible.