TheGh0st

Update on holiday. Stayed at sis' house. We acted as if the conversation never happened for the most part. Though she wouldn't make a commitment until Sat. Afternoon as to wether or not she wanted to go ahead and Celebrate with Dad & us together. DH & I had decided if she didn't we would just drive the extra hour to his house so she was still holding us a bit hostage by not letting us know what her decision was. I know I probably should have just told her we were going and took the control out of her hands, but it was much easier to not have to travel and once she made up her mind we all did have a good time. It really is easier for me to deal with my dad in a larger crowd.

.... Got to go In-laws are calling me back to their festivities. Much less stress but terrible Cookies. Suppose that is a blessing in disguise as my band is too loose right now. But that is for another thread.

What is your relationship like with your mom and dad when the holidays are not here ? Do you see them ? do you spend time with them ?

Mindy

Sorry all. I've been away from the internet. I'm at the In-Laws now so am able to catch up.

As I said my DH & I live about 3 hours away from the rest of our family. (Both Sides)

Mom - Great Relationship. She can drive me nuts but what parent doesn't. We talk multiple times a week. We can talk for hours and still not have a clue what we really talked about afterwards if asked.

Dad - Not very good. We are practically strangers. Ever since I was in grade school I use to beg my parents to divorce. I hated that they always said they were staying together for the sake of us kids. Made if feel like it was my fault they were miserable together. After I moved out of state Dad use to get upset at mom & I's long phone calls and it was like pulling teeth to get him to come visit or to "allow" mom to come down. Now that they are divorced I'd love to just leave the relationship in his hands. I love him but if he wants a relationship I wish he would work for it. Unfortunately my DH makes me maintain at least some contact with my father even if he doesn't call first. I think I have seen him maybe 3 times this year and spoke on the phone less than once every 3 months. Usually only when a holiday or birthday is emminant and we can no longer put off the call.

Sis - (only sibling) in School we HATED each other fought like cats and dogs. We are complete opposites. She is skinny fit and very vane. She has the attitude that she doesn't want anyone around unless everything is perfect. I would rather have fun with people I enjoy rather than worry about getting everything perfect for them. In recent years we had been getting along rather well surprisingly. Though we only see each other 3-4 times a year and don't get to talk too often as our schedules conflict. But ever since she reconciled with Dad she seems uncomfortable with the idea that I haven't. I know it would make more sense that I'd be jealous of her relationship with him but for some reason I'm not. I've never had one with him and at nearly 40 I don't really care if I ever do. I just don't see the need.

Well, I called her. I should have called as soon as it started to bother me instead of waiting a couple hours. Instead I ended up stewing over it until by the time I called her I was practically shaking and ended up crying before I could even explain why I was calling. I told her that even though part of me understood her reasons which were more complex that I had posted, and not all to do with me or my issues, I was still hurt by what she had said.

Of course someone had to walk into my office while I was still crying/talking to her. I am one of those people who cry when what I really want to do is punch a hole in the wall (or a face) but know I don't want to face the consequences of such an action.

My sis apologized, said she still didn't know what she was going to do about the whole dad/me issue. I said I didn't want her to rearrange her plans just because I cried, but that she should think about how it looked. Knowing my sis, she'll probably stew about the call and then end up being mad right back at me.

Uhghhh, I can't wait until the holidays are OVER!!!

Thanks LJM & Enterprise - I think part of me is more hurt than jealous or mad that my sis isn't willing to help make it less akward for dad & I by just letting us all Celebrate together. My Christmas with him would be much better if she would just do it with us as our problems with each other (Dad & I) really are much easier to mask in larger groups.

:OFF TOPIC:

Paulax, Enterprise I need your help - Please read and comment on my Rant over on the RNR board about my sis. Sorry to ask but I'm about to lose it here. Doesn't help I've had only 3 hours of sleep.< /p>

:OFF TOPIC:

OK LJM & Mommy I need your help - Please read and comment on my Rant over on the RNR board about my sis. I'm about to lose it here. Doesn't help I've had 3 hours of sleep.

OK, this is my first official Rant. Forgive me if I ramble.

I need some advice QUICK!

"Brief" Background info - My parents were married 35 years too long and 5 years ago they finally divorced after 35 years of marriage. Dad treated mom like dirt, then had the huevos to claim it was her fault they divorced when she stood up for herself and said she was no longer willing to live under the same roof with him until he agreed to go back to marriage counselling. I'm sure you can all see I have no bias or lasting resentments over this. Right? OK moving forward in the last 5 years Dad remarried, Sis hated the new wife with a passion & was very nasty to both Dad & wife. Other than asking the perspective wife if she was sure my dad would treat her right, I always treated them politely, and respected how the new wife wouldn't put up with my fathers same old crappola. Then mom remarries to a wonderful albiet rough-a-round the edges retired electrician. Here goes my sister again having problems with the whole idea of one of her parents being with someone new. She can barely be civil about the whole thing. OMG! My sis is a full grown woman with 3 of her own children and our parents are in their 60's don't they deserve to find some happiness? Meantime she has made all nicey nicey with our Father and his wife and keeps going on about how much she enjoys spending time with them. YUCK!!!

OK believe it or not that was the short version. If any of you are still reading here is my RANT.

I am driving 200+ miles tonight to spend the holidays with both my family and my husbands. I am already resigned to having 3 seperate events, Mom, Dad & finally Inlaws. It has been arranged for me to spend Saturday morning celebrating with Mom at my Sisters home and then with my Dad Saturday afternoon at my sisters. Only and here is the kicker... my Sister announced to me over the phone today that she will be taking her family to a movie or somewhere while I Celebrate with my Father (at her house mind you) so she can celebrate her Christmas with him later without me around. Her excuse was that since she is getting along so much better with him lately she thinks life is too short to allow herself to have to worry about wether my father & I's feelings of akwardness around each other might "ruin" her Christmas. WTF????!!!! OK I have issues with my Dad, I think that has been established. But despite my harsh words on this board, I love him, he knows I love him, and our only real face to face problem is that we both feel a bit akward around each other like we are not quite sure what to talk about. In a large group setting like a Christmas party no one would even notice outside of my Dad & I. It only is an issue when we are alone together (on the phone or in person).

I told her I understood, I told her I didn't care. But the more I think about it the more ticked I get. It just seems selfish to me. And a bit two faced as she sees absolutely nothing wrong with me having to take the larger risk of her ruining my Christmas with our Mother with her blunt and rude behaviour towards our mom and her new husband.

The more I think about it the more I'm tempted to either call or e-mail her and say the following.....

I understand that you are afraid having me around while you celebrate Christmas with dad might be akward. I really do, and if that is what you want to do I will respect it and will not be offended. However, I have to wonder if you have considered whether your current issues with Mom & her husband might cause similar problems for my Christmas with her. Using your logic it would follow that I should arrange to celebrate the holidays with our mother while you aren't around so that I wouldn't have to feel uncomfortable over issues you two have that are non of my business. Is this really the road you want to take? As you have said life is short, are you going to allow the chance of a few akward moments to tear this family further apart?

....OK I thought if I wrote her an e-mail I could write it in a way that didn't sound quite so adversarial or accusitory. I guess I was wrong. Maybe I could do better over the phone where she could here my tone of voice and could tell that I wasn't actually yelling at her. I really just don't get why she thinks its OK to say she doesn't want to celebrate Christmas with our father together because of my issues with him but doesn't think twice about how her issues with our mother might effect my Christmas.

It's probably only going to make things worse if I call her (or e-mail her) but if you guys don't calm me down soon it's taking everything in me not to pick up the phone right now. I'm just so sick of her doing selfish, childish crud like this and then me (the older sis) feeling I have to take it quietly to keep what little family peace is left.

Love the Cookies and Card, sounds like something I'd want to do but get stopped by my husband's fears of it only escalading the problem.

Glad you got it back.Was your trash still in it?

Either way, I think you should watch your credit report and credit card / bank statements closely for the next few months. Would hate to find out they stole your identity with something out of the trash.

...I can't wait until the couples show comes on in January. On the preview, I saw Jillian and Bob, but didn't see Kim. Anyway, I think it will be very interesting to see how the relationships stand up during the process.

I kind of hope Kim isn't on it. I never really liked her. And I can't wait to see the dynamics of bringing the couples twist to it. It will be interesting to see if they try to address some of the relationship problems that can come along with weight loss. They should have a counselor of some sort brought into the campus as well as the trainers.

Please keep us posted. You are in my prayers.

I don't normally forward e-mails like this much lest post them on lapband talk. Infact I tend to delete 98% of the stupid e-mails I get from friends & family without even opening them once I see they were a forwarded message.

But I thought we could all use a little "Dieting" humor at the moment. so here goes and I hope you all forgive me for posting this!

Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer'

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Max, my wonder dog, at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her no, I didn't have a dog. I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her it was essentially a perfect diet and the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.:pound:

WALMART won't let me shop there anymore!!!:heh:

I could live with the product placements if it meant less adds. Sadly, No luck there.

As I'm fond of saying "I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV" but I have heard that hormones are stored in our fat and that as we lose the fat those hormones are released into are body causing all kinds of joy for us.

Karey - Sounds like a plan. I need to do something soon. Yesterday I was SOOOOOOOOO BAD! My daily food consisted of the following.

Breakfast:

1/2 cup of grapenuts with nearly 1/4 cup sugar & skim milk.

1 - Hershey's chocolate Almond Bar (for Breakfast? I know)

Lunch:

A frozen Nancy's Quiche with Pepperjack Velveeta melted on top (that wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't ate the whole quiche to the tune of nearly 500 calories with the cheese on top)

Afternoon Snack:

1 - Chocolate Ice Cream Bar

2! - Snicker Ice Cream Bars

1 - Slimfast Low Carb shake

(WTF!)

Dinner:

1/8 cup thin spaghetti w/butter

1 cup homemade broccoli cheese Soup

1 Peach Wine Cooler

Late night Snack:

Frozen Blueberry Waffle with Peanut Butter & Jam on top

I don't even want to think about the calories I consumed yesterday. The worst part is I didn't even get to enjoy feeling full from all those calories as I was still hungry for more.

I know there are people out here in Lapbandland that practically laugh at people moaning about how they just ate an entire gallon of ice cream but don't know why they aren't losing any weight with the band. But darn it if it were so easy to put that spoon down on my own I wouldn't have needed this band in the first place.

It will get better.

Had the same problem when I came home from the hospital--and I said to my husband "How can that BE when ALL I've had is a little bit of juice!"

Well, in the hospital they were pumping your body full of fluids and afterwards that's what we continue to do. Your body's metabolism hasn't had a chance to kick in.

Please don't worry--it's just a time issue--as Wheetsin said, just have patience because it DOES work out in the end!

Make33 is right. Also the surgery itself can be a bit traumatic for the body causing you to have some swelling. (i.e. Fluid retention) All of this adds up to not losing and sometimes even gainig weight shortly after the surgery. Shoot, I came home from PS not long ago and despite the fact they removed 10+ pounds of skin I still weight the same as when I went in. I know its HARD but try to not worry. It will get better.

My husband was against it as well. After many long conversations I finally convinced him to go to an informational seminar. He actually went to one by himself in the end as we have a son and its hard to find a sitter. After that meeting he had completely turned around and was very supportive of the idea.

I have the worst needle phobia as well. And to top it off I needed 14 fills my first year. But believe it or not all except the first one have been perfectly fine. Infact after the first 4 the doc stopped using any kind of numbing medicine and didn't even tell us patients. Actually I was kind of pissed he didn't inform me even thoug I had to admit I couldn't feel a difference if anything I felt less.

Still everytime I go in for a fill I literally bite my knuckle to focus my mind on that pain and away from any potential pain from the needle. You might give it a try it does seem to help me.

Try not to worry. Each person is different but remember whatever you end up feeling during a few second fill is a SMALL price to pay for the resulting weight loss potential.

MimIN - I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I had my TT just over 2 months ago and even though they claim to have removed over 10 pounds off me I'm currently sitting at about 5 pounds HEAVIER than before surgery. I can tell there is definitely still some swelling but JEEZ after 2 months its hard to believe there is still 15 pounds of swelling. I also had an unfill before the PS and am calling everyweek now trying to get in on a cancellation so I can get a re-fill. But with the stresses of the holidays and the lack of restriction it has been HE# trying not to eat everything in site.

There was a thread once here on LBT where about 6 to 8 bandsters all in my area posted what we ate each day. It was odd despite how much I might lie to my doc, my husband, my non-existant food journal or even myself, I was able to be honest with these gals. I knew they understood where I was coming from and would support me rather than judge me. Heck I don't think we all read each others food logs that closely. It just helped us keep a better eye on our own choices. Though we did sometimes spot a good meal someone else had posted and ask for their recipe.

Congratulations Amy I can't wait to see your results

I have no idea what these garments are or what they are like but can you cut the crotch out of it for bathroom use? Just a thought

Both the Spanx and the Body Shaper have an open crotch. Still, the opening doesn't extend far enough back for all bathroom needs, if you know what I mean. Its not that big a deal to pull the Spanx girdle down and back up when needed during a long day at work but the body shaper looks like you would have to complete undress for some restroom needs, making it something I would probably only wear out for a few hours at a time not an entire day.

I have one Spanx girdle that goes high enough up my waist it actually tucks under my bra all the way around. And I'm running on the assumption that my MIL will be getting me a second one for Christmas which is why I'm reluctant to get another girdle type garment.

I am also planning on having the breast reduction surgery next year sometime. To take me from an F-cup to a small D. So assuming it has enough strech to it I could use the vest garment after that surgery as well. They said in the meeting that the full body shaper really doesn't do much for supporting the chest and that most women find they still have to wear a bra with it.

I guess the more I type, the more I'm convinced I should go with the vest. I can use my Spanx outfits for the bottom half and the vest for my top half. The upside should be that it would be easier to get in and out of when necessary in the bathroom. The downsides would be that the Spanx I have only goes about 2/3rds the way down my thighs and sometimes you can see a hem line on my thighs through my jeans with it, plus there may be some small seam line going around my waist where the two overlap each other that might show in a one piece dress (that I don't even own at the moment).

Shoot after typing the above it almost sounds like the two piece option isn't as good but then again not having to complete undress when nature calls still trumps a few potential "panty" line marks. I'm too afraid that if I got the one piece I would only wear it on rare occasions when what I want is something that can help me on a more daily basis.

UHGHHH!!!!! Where is the icon that shows my head spinning?

Vest Pro's

- Easier when "Nature Calls"

- Easier to put on (i.e. would wear more frequently)

Vest Con's

- "Panty Lines" around waist where it overlaps the Spanx and additional lines around legs from current Spanx.

Body Shaper Pro's

- Would have no "Panty Lines"

- Would cover legs better

- Is more expensive and therefore a "Bigger" Prize since they said I could pick any outfit out of the catalog for free regardless of cost.

Body Shaper Con's

- A Bear to get in and out of (Especially in public restrooms)

OK I think I've got it!!! The door prize allowed me to pick any one item for free no matter the cost. So with the Full Body Shaper being the more expensive item I'll ask for that one as my "Prize" then I'll purchase the vest out of my own pocket.

The reason I want both is that The Full Body Shaper will probably give me the smoothest "Panty Line Free" shape for special outfits and occasions but as BooBoo said be an absolute bear on those occasions when nature calls (especially in public restrooms). The vest on the other hand can be used daily tol give me a smoother look in the back while still being relatively easy for me to get in/out of the bottom half for those times nature calls.

Now to get my measurements and call them. I'll keep you all posted on how I like them.

Sorry for such a long stream of conscious post but it really helped to put my thoughts in writing.

I haven't got any new photo's I can upload with me fully dressed but if you go to page 9 you can see before and afters of me in my briefs.

This thread was pretty dead but thought I'd post this link for anyone that hadn't heard. Looks like Fig has gone out of business. I had my concerns about lipodissolve but my heart goes out to all the employees that are now out of work just before Christmas. My prayers go out to AJ and all the other employees.

Lipodissolve Company Shuts 17 Offices - News Story - KCTV Kansas City

:Banane20:YIPEE!!!