TheGh0st

Quoted (nearly verbatum) from an original post I placed earlier today on a thread started by Mariposa: I didn't originally intend on copying this post to multiply threads this but decided to go ahead after the comments that were made by others (I'm not trying to be vague just too lazy too scroll up for the exact names) about people sending PM's instead of posting comments for all to read. Technically this was posted for all to read just on another thread. Still here goes... BEGIN QUOTE: I'm just glad that other thread finally died. I was a lurker watching on like some vulture at a crash site. I'm not sure which bothers me most, that I kept lurking as a good thread spun helplessly out of control, or that I was too afraid to join in for fear I'd upset one or more of the many posters who I've grown to respect and count on here at lapbandtalk. Multiple times I'd start to compose a reply with the hopes to help calm the waters, then I'd erase it all saying to myself I am not the moderator and I'd probably only get shot for being the uninvited messenger of peace. I strongly believe the initial posts were mis-interpreted on BOTH sides of a couple different issues (i.e. Skinny v. Obese & the whole Running thing) and the attempted apologies fell on the deaf ears of ALL parties causing everything to sadly spiral more and more out of control. Unfortunately, it is all too easy for most of us to only read and hold on to the apparent negative comments in a post, convinced they are written personally about us while blindly ignoring the comments that take great pains to say it is neither about us nor meant as an insult towards us. Think about it. I've seen this pattern many times on different threads and different boards. (The anatomy of a typical downward spiraling thread) Post A-1 - Poster A's makes a comment on the thread . Post B-1 - Poster B responds that they found Poster A's comment offensive. Post A-2 - Then Party A tries to apologize and explain it wasn't intentional, but goes on to say they felt offended by a part of Poster B's response. Post B-2 - Party B also tries to apologize and explain.... At this point Both parties have been offended, and Both parties have apologized for giving offense trying to explain they didn't mean to. In an ideal world this is where it should end. If either party wants the other to believe their apology was sincere then they should be equally willing to believe that the other posters apology was meant to be just as sincere. Instead it continues... Post B-2 (continued from above) - in addition to the apology Party B goes on to re-emphasize how Party A's initial comments really were offensive and either says (or implies) that they do not believe it wasn't intentional. Post A-3 - Now Party A feels the need to respond again further attempting to explain the offense was not intended but adding their own disbelief in Party B's apology. Spiral Down - Spiral Down - Spiral Down - Until everyone's attempts at apologizing/explaining get shorter and shorter as well as each parties tempers. All the while more and more people get involved on both sides turning it into an all out war where any chance of apologies being said or heard have been thrown out the window. PS - for anyone that is interested (or willing to believe me) I'm not trying to insult anyone for having ever been sucked into one of these spirals OR CHOOSING SIDES on the issues started on the other thread. I'm just saying its sad when it happens. I'm not even saying I'm immune to it I fallen into the same spiral on a local Kansas City board a couple times, both as Poster A (accidentally starting the whole spiral) and as Poster B (being the first to feel offended then not accepting the apology) END QUOTE --- Actually I did PM Mariposa as well over a week ago. It was a message intended to lend her some moral support when it appeared she might leave LBT but I wouldn't say it was in support of either side. Though if anyone wants, I'd be glad to post it for all to read and judge me. Personally I feel it is sometimes better to PM someone than it is to post a message for all to read. Sometimes its easier to "hear" what someone is trying to say when you aren't feeling overly defensive about the fact everyone just got to see what was written to you. Mariposa isn't the first person on this board I've sent PM's to on issues that didn't initially involve me nor will she be the last. Each time I do I always give the recipient permission repost my comments publicly and offer to do it myself if they'd like me to. But to date no one has taken me up on the offer. BUT PLEASE PLEASE ALL LETS JUST DROP THIS. Mariposa is no longer posting about these issues on this or the other thread, nor is Chickie. So why don't the rest of us just let it go so their (and ours perhaps) wounds can heal?

I'm just glad that other thread finally died. I was a lurker watching on like some vulture at a crash site. I'm not sure which bothers me most, that I kept lurking as it spun out of control, or that I was too afraid to join in for fear I'd upset one or more of the other posters who I've grown to respect and count on here at lapbandtalk. Multiple times I'd start to compose a reply with the hopes to help calm the waters, then I'd erase it all saying to myself I am not the moderator and I'd probably only get shot for being the uninvited messenger. I strongly believe posts were mis-interpreted on BOTH sides of a couple different issues and attempted apologies fell on the deaf ears of ALL parties causing everything to sadly spiral more and more out of control. It is all too easy for most of us to only read and hold on to the apparent negative comments in a post, convinced they are written personally about us while blindly ignoring the comments that take pains to say it is neither about us nor meant as an insult towards us. Think about it. I've seen this pattern many times on different threads and different boards. (The anatomy of the downward spiraling thread) Post A-1 - :)Poster A's makes a comment on the thread . Post B-1 - :mad:Poster B responds that they found Poster A's comment offensive. Post A-2 - :confused::spider::mad:Then Party A tries to apologize and explain it wasn't intentional, but goes on to say they felt offended by a part of Poster B's response. Post B-2 - :spider:Party B also tries to apologize and explain.... At this point Both parties have been offended, and both parties have apologized for giving offense trying to explain they didn't mean to. In an ideal world this is where it should end. If either party wants the other to believe their apology was sincere then they should be equally willing to believe that the other posters apology was meant to be just as sincere. Instead it continues... Post B-2 :suspicious::yell:(continued from above) - in addition to the apology Party B goes on to re-emphasize how Party A's initial comments really were offensive and either says (or implies) that they do not believe it wasn't intentional. Post A-3 - :Banane44::spider::suspicious::yell:Now Party A feels the need to respond again further attempting to explain the offense was not intended but adding their own disbelief in Party B's apology. Spiral Down - :frusty::spider::rant: :fencing: Spiral Down - :frusty::spider::mad2: :argue: Spiral Down - :mad2: Until everyone's attempts at apologizing/explaining get shorter and shorter as well as each parties tempers. All the while more and more people get involved on both sides turning it into practically a war. PS - for anyone that is interested (or willing to believe me) I'm not trying to insult anyone for having ever been sucked into one of these spirals. I'm just saying its sad when it happens. I'm not even saying I'm immune to it I fallen into the same spiral on a local Kansas City board a couple times, both as Poster A (accidentally starting the whole spiral) and as Poster B (being the first to feel offended then not accepting the apology)

Hmmm... If she doesn't have you considered flying somewhere for the fills? Sounds drastic I know. But I had a friend that did that. She found a doc in a town with a direct flight from her airport on a discount airline. Even with a day away and the cost of the ticket it was cheaper than where she was at. I think she spent something like $130 round trip plus $50 for the fill. Here in Kansas City the fills are $100 at one of the docs here that has performed approx. 1000 lapbands and proctors new docs for Inamed in the Midwest. He also accepts fill patients he didn't band. Don't know if there are cheap direct flights to KC from where you are at but if your cousin won't continue with the fills it's something to look into. Or how about Canada?

Sandy I'm glad you found us I hope we can be your new support group. I'm also excited to see a new "old-timer" on the board. I'm sure I'll be picking your brains from time to time. I have a friend here that was banded in 2002 as well. She has gained some of her weight back after having an unfill for a pregnancy (2 years ago) She is finding now that it is taking more fills and (fiddling) to get back to that old sweet-spot she previously had. Hopefully it will only take a couple fills for you to start regaining some of that restriction. I know you can do it! Good Luck

When I can't shut my brain off. I usually start playing some mindless game on the computer like Minesweeper or Soduku. I get so wrapped up in the logic of the game that after a while I realize I'm not focusing on whatever had my head spinning to start with. That said good luck on whatever you decide.

No worries! I know just what you mean. I keep wondering feeling like I need to pinch myself. Wondering if this is all just a dream or if it possible I've turned into one of those people I always loved to "hate". I still have trouble not seeing the same larger girl in the mirror but each day it is slowly sinking in that others are seeing something different. It's been both amazing and scary at the same time. I actually went into an Ann Taylor shop yesterday and asked the clerks who greeted me at the door if they could help me find a couple new outfits to wear. When I told them I had no idea how to dress they looked at me like I was crazy. But it is so hard trying to relearn (heck learn) how to do something as supposedly simple as buying clothes. The last time I was in an Ann Taylor shop the clerks didn't even say hi to me. I wasn't deemed worthy then, this time they had over 20 things pulled out for me to try on within minutes and were trying to bring me more when I insisted I really needed to wrap things up and get going. I managed to find 3 new tops but no pants yet. I really should get at least one or two size 8 slacks to wear soon or at least a belt for the 10's I'm wearing. I say they aren't loose but with the slippery spanx I'm wearing per the doc post PS they are tending to slide down a bit when I walk and I'm ever finding I need to pull them back up. Maybe when I post the next "after" shots of the scarring I'll post some with my clothes on as well. :Banane20:

Wish I could post them but am forced to wait until I get the doc to take some on Wednesday. My neighbor who took the first "after" shots left her digital camera behind when she went out of town a couple weeks ago and I'm still in the stone age using disposable cameras. I may have posted them all over this website for anyone to find but the local walgreens developing boy just isn't someone I want to see face to face after he develops the shots for me. As far as the arms go I found the best time was at red lights in the car. Looked a bit silly to people next to me at the light I'm sure but I didn't really care. Oh..... One more thing. I keep meaning to post you all about what I did last week but my posts get so long I've been putting it off. Here goes... Julie had posted a innocent comment early on that she thought it was possible I could get down to a size 6 (actually I think she said 4 but anyways) I got carried away before the surgery while shopping for my nephews at Aeropostale and picked up a pair of 5/6 jeans that were on sale for myself in the hopes/dream that they might fit sometime after the surgery. The doc's nurse who also had a TT 4 years ago told me it took her nearly 3 months before she found she was really needing to buy smaller clothes, and my size 10's are still fitting (Better and looser in different places but working). Still, I couldn't resist trying on the jeans last week now that I'm really starting to feel a bit more "normal" and not so sore. Pulling the legs up were a bit like pulling on tight pantyhose and they had NO stretch to them. I hadn't remembered the label saying anything about it but they were extremly low cut hip huggers I think they call it. After pulling and panting for several minutes I managed to get them up over my thighs. Then with much contortions involving my leaning up against my bed, some serious breath holding and the obligatory jumping up and down, to my GREAT surprise I actually got them both buttoned and zipped up. Mind you I couldn't breath or sit down but they WERE ON!!!! I was so excited I called my "Mommy" to brag. Then I started worrying I'd never get them off without having to ask my DH to cut them off, which amused my mother to no end. She was laughing so hard at me over the phone:pound: I thought she couldn't breathe. This wasn't exactly helping me any, with my not being able to breathe well and all. Luckily they did come off and without any sharp objects involved. But it has given me hope that maybe Julie was right and I may dare I say it get down to a size 6. It is so hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that I could possibly go from a 24/26 down to a 4/6! Never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect this!

I KNOW you've never doubted this, but it bears repeating, the only person's opinion that truly matters is your own. That said you look absolutely FAB-U-LOUS!!! At 5'2" and pushing 40. I'm on track for being in the low 150's and a size 6/8 before the end of the year. Like you my original goals (weight wize that is) were lower. But I never expected to get down to trouser sizes this low and am starting to re-evaluate my goals. Unlike some people on this site I've never really been happy with myself. I realize my size, small or large should not be how I judge my happiness but that has always been easier said than done. I'm not saying I will never re-evaluate my goals again and push to get down into some medical charts guideline for being a "healthy" weight. But I've finally decided to quit waiting for that day to happen before I'm happy with who I am. Some (NOT on lapbandtalk, relatives actually) have suggested by doing this I am giving up on myself and my health. Ironically other relatives and in some cases the same ones on different days have suggested I've become obsessed and have already lost too much. I envy posters like yourself who love yourselves for where you are at wether it is at a lighter goal or heavier, so for me deciding to accept my current weight as my goal is not so much a choice to no longer lose weight but a choice to no longer use it as an excuse not to love myself for who I am on this journey wether I've reached the end or not.

I know many people love unjury. I was one of the few that hated it unfortunately. Here is a list of some of my favorite Protein boosts. The low-carb version of Slimfast with a little Nestle's Low-Carb chocolate powder stirred in to boost the flavor. Sometimes I'd even add a tablespoon or two of half and half. I know it added calories but with a daily total of 500-800 calories a day at the time I figured an extra 80-100 calories wouldn't hurt. This tastes best ICE COLD. Someone else mentioned Cottage cheese. I agree it is a GREAT source of protein with an even better protein to carb ratio than TOFU. Warming it up with some Ragu and Parmesean tastes pretty good. Kind of like the cheesy filling from lasagna. Another great use for the Cottage Cheese is in puddings. I know it sounds gross but it actually tastes good. You take the cottage cheese and run it through the blender until it is completely smooth. Adding a little skim milk (or water) if you need to thin it down a bit for your blender to handle. Then you use it in place of milk when making any flavor of sugar free pudding. My favorites were Chocolate (with a 2 - tablespoons of Peanut Butter added) Lemon pudding or Cheesecake Pudding. With the cheesecake pudding I'd sometimes add just a little pureed strawberries on top. The Cottage cheese just gave the pudding a more creamy taste like they had been made with whole milk instead of skim. Then I'd put them in the freezer for about 1/2 hour and stir to the consistency of soft serve ice-cream. I also used the pureed cottage cheese around the holidays as a substitute for 1/2 the sour cream it calls for in making those powdered chip dips.

I still take the cake here. I went so far as to track down the company that hosts the site this morning and called them just to make sure there really was "just" a technical difficulty and that someone was working on it. I apologized right and left for calling them telling them I knew it wasn't really my place to call, but they were very friendly and said they knew there was a problem and would have it back up shortly. I just couldn't stand not knowing if Lapbandtalk was permanently MIA due to funding problems or who knows what reason as opposed to just some computer glitch which thankfully is what it was. If it had been down for the count I was already trying to work out ways to start a drive to bring it back. I think (strike that I KNOW!!!) I'd even be willing to pay a membership fee to keep this site going if it ever came to that. I am ever gratefull to the person/people that started this site and those that help to monitor and keep it going.

Oh, I forgot to mention. I started a quilt myself several years ago. Got the top all put together and started hand quilting the layers together but never finished it up. I'd be more than glad to send it on to you to work on. Don't even care if you kept it. It has pale green & red "calico-esque" squares arranged in a kind of purina dog chow pattern.

Quilting - I believe the word "Quilting" actually refers to the process of sewing the layers together in a quilt. (i.e. Top, Fluff & Bottom) If I'm right about that then the Quilting part can easily be done by hand by buying a cheap plastic frame at a local sewing shop to hold the layers together while you sew. You clamp it down one section at a time moving the frame as you complete each section. There isn't even any ironing involved in this stage. But as another poster mentioned sewing all the individual squares together to create the top layer and getting them all straight is an absolute bear. Good Luck - And may I ask why you're needing this busywork in December?

HOORAY!!!! I don't know what I'd do without this board. It has been my lifeline through this journey. It appears one of the servers at the company that hosts the site crashed over the weekend. I was so worried something had happened and I lost lapbandtalk for good.

I think this is the link you are looking for. http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f109/exce...estions-39989/ Just please, Please, PLEASE tell me if you try it, whether it works for you or not. I don't like posting about this when I only know of one other person that has tried it. And that was my mom, she claims it has been working but who knows if she is just being polite.

Have you checked the size of the picture file? I always forget to do that myself. LBT only allows pics up to certain file sizes.

OMG - If Hoehn took a few pointers on his hair from McKidd they could practically be twins. Too Funny!

No problem, I thought I remembered that Olathe was too far. Legends wouldn't be too bad if you were interested but now that winter is rapidly approaching that's not a great option either. I am toying with the idea of telling my DH I'm going to stay in KS that weekend while he goes to Nebraska with his aunt. If so I'll come to the meeting. Otherwise hope to see you in December.

Uhghh!!! My DH this morning saw my morning Protein shake (approx 16 oz) and asked "Shouldn't that be too much for you to drink if you are properly adjusted?" Come on the band is suppose to slow solids from going through not liquids. Does he think I'm suppose to starve myself? OK yes I'm just coming off a long period of being filled too tight where I'd get heartburn and reflux just from taking a small drink but that was NOT normal.

Hey there Tracy. I was just thinking about you myself. I was wondering if you were going to be at Malley's group meeting this month. I was hoping to get a chance to meet you in person but then I'm not going to be able to make it this month due to company coming in. Can't remember if I've asked this before but are you anywhere close to Olathe? Me and another band-girl are meeting up at the Mall of the Plains to walk tonight. If it gets too much for me I was going to sit and let her walk a lap without me. Would be great if you could come.

Thanks, each day is getting a little bit better. Today I was only 5 minutes late. Sad considering I live only 10 minutes from work and got up nearly 2 hours before I needed to be there. But between needing to wash my hair, massage my scar line, clean out my belly button scar, wrestle my spanx back on, etc. next thing I knew I was running late yet again. Last night I was probably my most active after work I picked up my 4 year old from pre-school took him home to change for Halloween, drove him to a nearby outdoor shopping area for some trick-or-treating then off to a church sponsored party where we he played, had a hay ride and got more candy that he could carry (literally - it was ridiculous how much he got!) We didn't get home until nearly 10pm. I was probably pushing myself a bit far but I sat down as often as I could. But when I got home and laid down on the couch I found I needed my DH to help me back up. I just couldn't figure out how to get rolled over to get up and I can't just sit-up using my stomach muscles. I felt so silly calling him to come in from the other room to pick me up. Thankfully he was a good sport about it, gave me a little look of "Come on do you really need help?" but he did it.

Oh, and I really did start seeing results within one week. Try just the one arm for the first week and see if you can tell that is starting to look better than the other. Then if it is you can start rubbing them both. I'd still like an arm lift but the way my left arm looks after rubbing it just isn't bad enough to justify the expense. If only I could win the lottery or talk my doc into putting me on TV like Enterprise. Oh well back to reallity.

Ha!!! I've been trying to convince my husband to help work on my thighs as they aren't exactly easy to massage by myself. A little easier to reach without the pannis in the way but still VERY akward. But, so far he hasn't warmed up to the idea. I've been trying to convince him it might be considered foreplay but he's not convinced. But honestly, the arms really only take a couple minutes a day. Usually I would do it while stuck at a red light in traffic or while watching TV at night. The key to not getting the sore shoulders though is not to hyper extend the arm you are rubbing with, and to only rub for a minute or two at a time (as little as 30 second bursts works as well). But rub fairly hard, I compare it to giving your little brother a knuckle rub on the head.

And your pics as well I am so sorry you decided it was necessary. Hopefully things will change down the road so that you can bring them back. You and the other successful "old-timers' here have been a priceless inspiration for me. If it weren't for my seeing your's and the others success here on lapbandtalk I may have never made it as far as I have towards my own goals so far. You show us that we do not need to accept the statistics and doctors low expectations for us. Thank you so much for everything you have done and meant to me even if you never knew it. And I wish you and your family nothing but the best.

I hate the whole clock changing thing each fall as well. I believe the "real" time is the winter time and the "daylight savings" is in the summer. Personally I'd like to switch the clocks over to the summer time (whichever that is) and just leave it. My problem with the time change is two fold. First off I absolutely hate that when the clocks go back each winter it means I'm leaving for work in the dark and coming home in the dark. If it stayed the same as summer it would mean I could at least drive home with some light left. Secondly, the way the roads are laid out on my route to/from work there are a couple of weeks as the sunrise/sunset changes that I'm driving with the sun right in my eyes (Very Dangerous) but just as the sun starts to shift enough that it isn't bothering me anymore they go and change the clocks putting me back on the road at a time the sun is in my eyes again. Personally, though I agree with the idea behind what the other poster said about less accidents and such I would think that doubling the length of time people are having to drive with the rising/settning sun glaring in their eyes as well as making it so many commuters are driving both to and from work in the dark during winter is also creating additional road hazards.

Enterprise - 10 pounds for $2,000? You can do it!!! We're all routing for you!