jessk0560

Hi Everyone- I just made this account in the hopes for some comfort from people who have been here before. I am on day 9 of my pre-op diet which is only shakes per my doctor. I have been following this strictly but it has obviously been hard. I don't want to get out of bed, I can cry at the drop of a hat and I am just plain hungry and sad. I have a toddler and I am not feeling like a great mom right now because I Just have no energy. I feel like I am constantly thinking about the fact that I could die during this surgery and I am mourning my relationship with food that my family is having but I can not. Being that I have a toddler I have to make food for her, she is not self sufficient so I am around it but can't have any of it. The shakes don't satisfy me. I can't have anything else except water. I slept like 16 hours yesterday and can barely get the energy to get up. Is this normal? I want this surgery SO bad. I have been waiting 8 months to have it. I have done everything I'm supposed to and I want to have this so I can be a better and more active mom for my kid but I just don't know how to shake this horrible feeling inside. I feel seriously depressed and I've never felt like this before. I don't feel suicidal I feel the opposite, like I am just going to do this and die and leave my kid alone and I also miss being able to eat like my family is. I know this isn't forever with the food stuff and I have already made lifestyle changes and feel prepared, it's like I just want a bite of chicken or cottage cheese, something to give me some energy. Please tell me I am not alone in this depression. I have googled trying to find forums that explain what I am going through without having to put something up myself for fear of judgement but I just haven't found anything that has given me the comfort I am seeking that it does get better. I had a lap band before so I've been through this (it was removed 6 months post op due to faulty device) but I also didn't have a child at the time and I think I'm just full with worry. Please tell me this has happened to other people and you've come out okay? I also already take anxiety medicine so if you're reading this thinking this lady is nuts and needs meds, I already have them :-(

Thank you both for the replies. I have tried to separate myself from my family when they eat but it always seems to end up that I need to make my kiddos food bc her dad is still working, which I can't fault him for that, I know life can't stop because of me. Saturday we went to a catered BBQ birthday party. Having just a bottle of water there was not fun. But I did it. I know I can do it, but gosh this is hard. We are going on a family vacation leaving Thursday (horrible timing but I was supposed to get this done in June but had insurance issues and we already had the trip scheduled thinking I'd be post-op and ready to travel) so I just feel like I need to get out of this funk before I come home on Sunday and pack for the hospital, or more importantly so I don't ruin my families time. I don't want to end up freaking out on the operating table either 😞 Thank you for the support. I'm just a hot mess I suppose 😜