KimA-GA

for me there is a big difference between head hunger and real hunger. head hunger is a specific food or type of food… i want sweets or i really want a hamburger etc…. now sometimes that could also mean your body is lacking in something so a persistent specific craving might need to be looked at.. but most of the time for me it is emotional or boredom (and sometimes due to the clock) physical hunger many many things sound good because my body is craving food. i will have preferences, of course, but the variety of things i want is greater…

11/3 surgery hitting the expected stall a little early… been same weight since friday- but it’s all good! that to me means healing at this stage and after what i have been through healing is great… i am feeling good, just a little achy and my stamina is starting to improve … still have some issues with enough liquids, but reaching over 50 oz so not far to go… so far experimenting with purée has gone well… i full easy but my body hasn’t rejected food yet! continuing to get hiccups and burps if i drink or eat too quickly … gotta listen to that !

i had popsicles either my first or second day post op but i didn’t have issues with them but they melt and warm in your mouth a little some so not as cold as ice water

this is part two… part one brought me to surgery with my weight loss adventure .. (quick warning, i tried not to be graphic but an infection is referenced) now I am someone who weighs almost every day for several months but i have trained my brain to be chill about the number… just watch for trends because bodies are sometimes heavier for non fat related reasons… i have seen my body go up, down and drop drastically and rise rapidly all while loosing weight as a trend… now i am in my early post op and start with my surgery weight of 351.4 on 11/3/22 sat, 11/5/2022 - day 2 post op after first night home - i dropped to 349.4 - considering swelling and fluids I was satisfied because I thought that I would have been up.. sun, 11/6 - 348.4 - spent lots of time walking in my yard gathering pecans with my picker upper stick for a few days - more than 5 gallons worth mon, 11/7 - 347.6 struggling with fluids, slight pull feeing while sitting and standing but otherwise good! tues, 11/8 - 349.2 - more sore but not really in pain.. i attributed this to walking a bit much the day before and trying to get more fluids… tried to power through and keep being as active as i could… (today i also had bathroom success lol) Wednesday, 11/9 - 349.2 - incision area hurting more and thought that I truly overdid it and took a lazy day… mild temp of barely 99 Thursday 11/10 - 347 - more pain in big incision area and it was warmer, mild fever 99.8 degrees- still blaming myself for pushing myself to be so active post op. took a super lazy day (even made someone get a birthday cake for my son who turned 19) friday 11/11 - 345.4 - something was wrong. pain was so much worse getting up and down and even sometimes moving. temp went to 100.8 in morning and i was feeing off. called dr and waited for call back. incision area looked ok but felt warm and kinda harder than it did.. not much redness… by 1 pm temp spiked to 101.7 even with tylenol. called again to dr and said something was wrong … they called in antibiotics and made appt for monday to see how i would respond. 11/11 - trip to town going to antibiotics- my husband drove .. we went into aldi to pick up a couple items before going to kroger to get meds and another grocery order ( we were feeding guests on saturday playing a game) and i actually have little memory or the store trip just bits and pieces … i told my husband i had a big problem and my pants were wet.... my infection, well, ruptured while in store.. we went to kroger to get antibiotics where i took one in the parking lot then i fell asleep immediately in the car for the ride home (unusual).. when finally hope after another stop i slept through, i groggily made my way in the house, cleaned myself up with hibclens and stumbled into bed without bandaging my still seeping wound and wrapped up shivering … and immediately went back to sleep… my mom called an hour or two later and i answers on my watch.. groggy and not very coherent.. hard to love, hard to talk, slurring words.. she called my husband who was doing another errand and he eventually came home and checked on me .. i was not medicated as he thought and still seeping a lot and he bundled me up and brought me to the er despite my slurring attempts to protest that i was perfectly fine and just wanted to sleep.. the er had a full waiting room, but when the staff talked to me and saw the state of the towel against my incision area - i was not only taken back but in a room immediately… my bad veins were acting up.. 7 different iv attempts and had to get an arterial pull for blood.. multiple bags of fluid, potassium iv, multiple antibiotics, a ct with contrast, .. in other words a long long night.. 11/12 - 7 am my surgeon came to er and i was more coherent than most of the night… i had a large infection and was a little dehydrated … but with the treatment already received and the iv antibiotics combined with oral, he thought i would be ok and i could go home with a bandages wound and see him monday morning. i slept for a few hours when i got home, then woke up sore and still hurting some but better than i had felt in a few days. bandages changed every couple hours due to drainage. when i got home before 9 am i weighed myself out of curiosity and i was 352. it made me laugh because they really did pump me full of fluids!! every day after got better. less pain, discharge stopped monday and slowly the fluids started to come off. i am now 17 days post op and i am down to 335.6 for the second day in a row. might be that famous 3 week stall early. but i am fine with that because it usually means good healing is finally taking place and the scale with catch up eventually. i can move better than pre surgery and 100% better than six months or a year ago. my stamina still sucks but is improving even with the infection (two types of streptococcal bacteria) I am doing good and on my way to the life that i keep telling myself I deserve to live. i want to make plans and do things for the first time in a few years. i am no longer afraid to go to a store because it hurt my back so badly and turned my face from pale white to tomato red due to the physical effort… i can actually go in without the immediate pain! so far even with the setback this is one of the best things i ever did for me

How are you doing?

i actually smiled when it was the same weight because i believe this stall means the body is holding onto things while rapidly healing… healing is perfect to me!!!! you are right…. a few days or a week or so I will be back into dropping (unless i get my clearance for doing some strength exercises then i might gain muscle, which is even better to me!! )

because I like to over share sometimes (lol) and just give people a window into a true reality of a very large persons journey struggling with bad habits, eating disorder, anxiety depression etc….… I have decided to show a general weight progression for my weight loss journey so far….it has been far from drops all the time, even when I was doing the right thing! My high weight was July 2021 when I tipped the scales at 456. I am starting the rest of my story in January 2022. I was taking Ryselbus for a bit and was back down to 440. It was at this time that I doubled down to start doing the mental work on my stress eating, emotional eating, binge eating and other disordered eating which had gotten me pretty immobile and huge. During feb, march and April I avoided the scale, focusing on my relationship with food, the triggers contained in my relationship with other people who had made me turn to binging and life in general. Also in some changes in portion size and being able to stop when full (which was hard for me) but April 24th I stepped on the scale and was 426. I felt like I had made progress on me for the first time in a long time. May 8th I was gradually down to 421, then my body did the first drop on may 9th (which I have learned is normal pattern for me) to 414.6 I went up about two pounds and down about two pounds for another couple weeks until finally dropping so to 405.6 May 27th. June I really worked hard on dealing with fast food addiction and some very deep emotional hurts along with work stress and financial stress. My weight varied from 412.6 down (yep, gained!) to 403 at the end of the month. I was gaining, I was loosing, I was struggling to eat better and not loose my head to anxiety and other emotions. Sometimes I won, sometimes I lost. The whole month tracks up and down and up and down until I started to find my way towards the end of the month and the struggle became easier. June 30th saw my surgeon for first consult. I was 403.2 that morning on my scale July 4th I celebrated my own independence by leaving 400s with 399.6… I had started doing a lot of portion control and making healthier choices. Had nearly eliminated fast food. You would think I would be on a better path, but no, my body was still going to frustrate me. Even though I was eating a consistent diet, my weight decided to go on a joy ride and spiked back past 400 to 411.8. I was devastated and disheartened. How could I gain when my calories were in control and I was not eating much junk??? Emotionally I struggled and dug deeper into my past, my present and what I wanted for my future. I made some emotional breakthroughs and slowly the scale slid down, leaving the month at 396.4 Then August 3rd, 399.9 lbs, my nutritionist appt where I got my surgical guidelines and it threw me for a loop. I was told three weeks of either 1) 4 protein shakes a day and a light meal of lean protein and steamed veggies or 2) 50 total carbs a day….. that morning I had what I thought of a healthy smoothie breakfast with split pea (protein/fiber), berries and a banana with ice… I did the math on the carbs. It was 108 for my breakfast… could I do this?? with my struggles with disordered eating I knew I needed baby steps to get used to anything. Carb counting seemed to give me more variety and feeling of control. I started tracking all foods and reducing my cab count throughout Aug….. a miracle happened to my body as my mind relaxed with the guidelines given to me. The weight fluctuated, but trended truly down. I ended august at 376.3 by September I was (mostly) living with 50 carbs a day.. reading all labels and looking up food, paying attention to portion. Funny thing is my calories only dropped about 200 from my pre carb counting diet, but I was even more stringent with what I would consume… I was ready for my surgery when my surgeon was finally able to schedule ! By making my new habits my new normal, I was down to 365.6 at the end of September. A few hiccups delayed my surgery scheduling (mostly an uncommon complicated insurance issue ) but I kept moving with my new normal… I finally got my date of Nov 3rd, so October was go time. The time to double down and follow things to a T so I could be in the best shape for surgery. My body wasn’t as cooperative even with me doing right as I hoped, but with perseverance I dropped more weight. During the last week in October with changing nothing I went from 362 to 353. My body just finally released the weight… surgery day 351.4 ! Will do a post op so far in a bit…

we should form a former salt addicts club lol lol

yesterday I made split pea soup.. (I an full liquid, but can have strained soup) I have always liked things very salty and try to hold back because family complains… this time I tried to be restrained not just for everyone else’s taste, but to be gentle on my system. I blended mine with a bit of extra water and started eating after my husband was already eating a bowl… I asked HIM if it was salty… he said no, it was fine… lol first time in 20+ years I thought something was saltier than he did! will be interesting to find out how else my palette has changed over the next few weeks

omg I understand the saltaholic to too salty thing… i was sleeved 11/3 and for the first time in my 22 year marriage i thought something was too salty and my husband didn’t!!!

14 days po! my infection is clearing up (still red around incision but no discharge shine monday) and I am finally slowly loosing the water weight from the er visit and seeing progress! 11/3 sw 351.4 11/17 cw 338 (for reference, 11/13 when i got home from er i was 352! and january 2022 i was 440) still working on liquids but close to the 64 oz … tolerating most full liquids fine but starting to get heaviness with dairy so dialing back a little there… no desire to eat or drink so i am just sipping trying to get my ounces … changing back to water from sf beverages in case that’s what’s influencing my lack of thirst (had thought flavor would be a good thing) Friday my diet changes from full liquids to purée! will have some refried beans and sweet potatoes this weekend sometime

oh, and hand your husband a trash bag and tell him to throw away her junk food ……… she is in your house

She has severe behavioral mental health issues and she is threatened by you wanting better. your husband needs to stand up to her and defend you to keep her mental issues from impacting you so greatly and childishly. If he won’t, you have a lot to think about. you deserve to not be belittled and demeaned by her in your own home. You deserve to make your life better. Ignoring her is not an option when she is escalating her behavior. Be blunt and stand up for yourself. It is worth it, trust me. I had to do similar with my own husband before surgery (his behavior) and it feels horrible but is worth finding out where you stand. Either he will stand with you or he won’t and you will make your choices from his actions from there out.

it sounded like such a treat, didn’t it?? glad i wasn’t the only one that it sat heavy

You have head hunger! Maybe it’s time to find a hobby or distractive activity to do when you feel hungry at night…. (Reading, Netflix, knitting, drawing, journaling) Since you can eat now your body wants a return to normal habits and you need to retrain the brain.. it can take about a month to retrain yourself but the good news is it gets a little easier each day you do it…. but yes. Talk to your team! I will say that journaling has been my success key… writing out why I had issues with eating and what I was feeling… the more I worked through the emotional issues that made me fat the easier it was to be in control… still not perfect and still feel things but I am able to cope better

I have no specific carb restrictions, just food stages. However there are foods that are best to avoid post sleeve for a while and they include the low nutrient, high calorie empty foods like basic white rice, breads and pasta… because of their processed nature (even many white rices are very processed) they turn to glucose easy and easily spike blood sugars even in some non diabetics causing issues that will make you hungry and eat more … personally, when I reach that stage where I can eat it, breads and pasta will be sometimes foods.. tho for rice I don’t use some of the low end, but buy a high quality basmati from an Indio-pak store.. basmati has a lower glycemic index because of the way that the starches are naturally aligned … it will still not be a staple food anymore but will have a little when I can finally eat chicken tikka masala or methi mater again

Day 13 post op… after resolving the infection and er adventure, I am now feeling great… my stamina is low but when I have energy movement is easier than pre surgery already! on full liquids till Friday .. it really hasn’t bothered me much being on liquids.. I currently have no desire to eat or drink (which is weird because I drank water all day long before). So I am constantly reminding myself to drink and stay hydrated …. Only found one thing so far that feels weird in my stomach… I got some Panera bread brand lobster bisque as a treat and after an ounce or two I am full and it sits heavy … think I will add ounce of milk to ounce of soup next time… Wounds are healing.. no longer have to bandage the big incision because infection is drying up… give myself a little more healing time and I will be ready to go places!

Hey newly sleeved and sleeved to be! remember, follow your plan and trust in it… things will work stalls happen and at the early stages just usually means your body is busy healing… give it time! If you are doing right then that scale will move when your body is ready and before you know it the number will make you smile… getting enough liquid post op is tough! Just keep at it! walking is your friend… once you can tolerate it, fiber is your friend! we are in this together so please, reach out if times get tough

Good luck how are you going to make dietary changes this time so you don’t out eat the surgery?

That’s so frustrating! Itchy all over sounds like allergy to something….. hope things settle out asap

When in doubt talk to a nutritionist and your surgeon like the others said. This is a long process. You didn’t get to your weight in two months and it will take time to adapt to your new lifestyle and your body to loose the excess weight. trust the process and you will achieve

Sounds like you are doing great so far! are you in liquids still or up to purées?

hey there! been healing away. since i am now one week post op, thought i would give an update!!! was doing well overall with lots of soreness and some actual pain. had trouble getting liquids for about three days but finally am doing a lot better. (did about 23-28 oz those three days sipping as much as i could… then have been increasing since) was burping with every single sip for three days. also had issues with gas pains that would randomly come on and feel like my sternum would rip in half. moving makes such a big difference !!! i Tuesday and wednesday i started to have a lot of pain/tugging and difficulty with my main incision … the bruising around it spread like deep healing bruises do and i think that was part of the issue. it also felt like a hard lump under the incision area there. i talked to my surgeon and said that was all normal and just keep at it as long as i didn’t get fever over 100 or it started getting red… this morning it feels a lot better, but still hurts… big victory for today is that i can sit and stand more comfortably than the last two days!!! i was finally able to “go” 5 days po.. no real problem but had the runs yesterday… i know, tmi but it’s what we go through zero real hunger and no real desire to even drink but doing it because I have to … i am only down 4.4 lbs so far (actually went up for the two days i was in acute pain this week) … but i am ok with that because my body is healing and know that is more important during this first healing stages… i am wary about going back to work next week part time. know i am going to be slow and really take it easy… i should be fine but know how doing nothing exhausts me lol (i am in bed before 830 every night… used to be 11 easy) hows everyone else in the early stages of post op????

must have been in surgery since it was deep and the incision was still tightly glued until it popped

ok back home … i was running an errand with my husband before going to pick up the prescription for my surgical wound infection an hour or so after it was called in… during that the infection in my main wound site, well to put it mildly, drained rapidly while i was in the store… and some combination of the wound infection finally coming out, fever and some dehydration caused an altered mental state for a few hours leading me to be taken to the emergency room…. had a night filled with many ivs and iv attempts (blown veins, infiltrating ivs, very low flow etc) , bunch blood tests, multiple bags of fluids, multiple doses of iv antibiotics, a ct with contrast…. saw the surgeon and told to head home and see him monday as planned… fun times on a positive note i currently don’t feel intense pain getting up or sitting down… just discomfort and light pain.. oh the things we go through