I know how you feel. I am the same way. The great thing for me is that my doctor did NOT give me a diet with my lapband. He said 3 meals a day, chew well and stop eating before you're full. I've done great at the first 2 things he said, but even that has been hard. I want a snack and I ask myself, "Are you hungry or do you just want to eat that?" It's been really hard but I'm afraid that I'll PB/throwup so I'm motivated to do better because of that. I'm struggling with the "stop eating before you're full". If I could do that then I wouldn't have needed the band. I've been eating sweets, fried foods, etc. I tell myself that I'm doing great because I eat less bad foods now than pre-band so that's progress. Like they say in OA, it's about progress, not perfection. So I'm progressing, slowly but I'm progressing. Try not to be so hard on yourself and see the positive things that you have done and know that you can continue to improve. We're here for each other because we've had similar experiences and understand. Take care of yourself. I'll say a prayer for you (and for me too)