Hi,
I feel what you are going through. I also am I self pay and I am going to be banded next month. First off, I don't think you offended anyone. They just probably didn't feel they could help you. Second, I probably can't help either, but I have thought your thoughts to a degree. I want to lose 90 lbs. All my life I could diet and lose 50, then gain it back over the next several years. But, 1 year ago I dieted and ate right and exercised like crazy and didn't lose a pound. I am looking at this like it is another tool that will help me overcome some barriers and then help me keep it off when I reach my goal. How many times have you lost weight and then gained it back? Sure you can still do that with the band, but the reminder not to slip up will be there and that will help you stay stronger and on track. Losing weight can be the easy part, keeping it off is what counts though. Hope this helped a little.