Mizzoupoodle

Hi all, I am new to the forum. I am 9 days out from lap band surgery. I was banded in Tijuana by Dr. Ortiz. I'm still on liquids...start full liquids tomorrow. I have been following my post-op instructions carefully but it's killing me to fix my kids food and not eat, lol. My highest weight was 289 and my surgery weight was 213. I haven't weighed since the surgery but I feel lighter, lol:thumbup: I find so many of the posts here an inspiration to me!! Sylvia

I need some opinions on this. My husband of many years and I had started seeing a counselor because of his depression and because we haven't had sex in a very long time. He has a viagra prescription and because he has been interested in sex, it has sat pretty well unused in his sock drawer for a long time. Just yesterday I saw it there when I put away his laundry. Today when I was helping him pack, I noticed it was missing and when he left the room looked in his suitcase. There it was!! I asked him why he was taking it and he said he took had been in there a long time. I told him I knew for a fact that wasn't true and he said well he put it in there to take on the way in town so we could have a "party" when he came home. Since it only takes about an hour to work, why would he need to haul it out of town. He is mad I won't take him at his word, and I WANT to believe him, but I can't seem to. I feel sick to my stomach. Am I crazy??:thumbup:

I've certainly changed my m.o. Before banding, I lost some weight and one of the ways I did it was by eliminating alcohol. It was painful when I was out with friends. Now, I do have a couple of driinks when I go out. One of my new favorites is a bloody mary (not too many calories and for me impossible to drink too fast). I LOVE whisky sours but I can drink them like lemonade and after being banded I DO get tipsy so easy. You'll have a great time! I would watch the beer ...I took a sip of one...YIKES... the burning, the golf ball feeling...no more for me for awhile. Your friends are all going to be envious of you since you've lost weight!!

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Be proud of yourself, you earned it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's great knowing with the band, those 100 are NEVER coming back!!! Good for you Hollie!!!:cool2:

My friend just had a breast lift/augmentation by Dr. Cannova (sp?) and was very pleased. She said he is a "hand holder" and her results are simply amazing!! Her husband is in pharmaceuticals and is very familiar with KC plastic surgeons. I'd like to have the TT/ lift/augmentation when I get finished, if I can find the money!!! Good luck and let us know what you discover. I appreciate your posting this!

I had my band done by Dr. Ortiz in Tijuana, Mexico on July 25th. I am flying back tomorrow for my first fill. The whole trip is costing $450 including air fare, hotel, van rides, and the fluoroscopy with the fill. I did work hard to find cheap airfare and feel pretty lucky to be flying for so little. I mainly wanted to go back in case something was wrong with my band, they will fix it without charge. Another Dr. Ortiz patient got her fills somewhere else and when she had a slip they told her she'd "voided" the warranty and to pay for the surgery to get it fixed. That being said, I will probably get subequent fills here if everything is ok after this fill. It's pricey to go back and such a hassle to arrange. Getting child care for my kids, taking 2 days off work, and the plane ride...UGH, lol. Thanks for posting Tee about KC options, I appreciate it! I made some notes for subsequent fills. I'd like to dream one fill would do it, but somehow I doubt it, lol.

I've been banded since July 25th and haven't had a fill yet. I was pretty loose until about 2 weeks ago. I scheduled a fill three weeks ago for Sept. 29th (soonest with work that I could go). I've been under some stress and 2 weeks ago I had what I think was food poisoning. Stomach cramps, etc. I felt horrible and put myself on liquids for 3 days. Since then, I've been very restricted. I can eat about one fourth of a sandwhich and a couple of bites of fruit or a few carrots at one sitting. Before this, I was back to eating close to my pre-band amounts. Suddenly, I'm able to stop easily again when eating and I've stopped wanting to snack. I guess I will keep my fill appt. since I scheduled the time off and this happy place will probably evaporate by then. What do you all suggest?? Now, I notice that whenever I feel stress, I think I feel my band. I know it is probably in my head but it is freaking me out, lol. I'm continually surprised by how the band is IN charge, lol.

Hi Kathy and Friends, I've had a tumultous time. The kids and I had food poisoning last weekend and I felt so exhausted from that I couldn't really think of anything else. We went to the counselor this week and he kept saying if I made him take the lie dectector test he would never be able to look at me the same again. I really can't see the point in having him take it now, I'm so exhausted from being sick and being so emotionally upset. The counselor suggested we not discuss the viagra all week and write down what we see as the problems in our marriage and our part in the problems. I am willing to do both, though it is very painful to be with him when I am wondering what he is up to. I'm numb when I'm not thinking about it and think seeing a counselor on my own might be a good idea. Heck, what could it hurt? I am going to an attorney tomorrow for a consultation. Thanks to all my lapband friends for being there for me, I appreciate it so much!

I'm not sure if this is true or not, but my doctor's info pack (the one you get at surgery) says drinking while eating can cause your pouch to stretch. I would love to know if this is false, because it has me SCARED to death, lol. I drink before eating and while eating I do a kinda gross thing. I take sips of Water swill them around and while keeping the glass at my lips put the water back into the glass. This has really helped me to not need a drink, but I MISS it!! It bugs me when out with a group if everyone is having wine, I feel like I need to slug mine back in order not to break the rule.

In reply to the poster who suggested I might try some sort of female version of Viagra, I'd like to say that isn't the issue here, but thank you for your kind suggestion. We ARE in counseling, and I'd love to resume a normal sex life. Please understand I HAVE tried SO many things over the last few years, I didn't come to this place without a lot of heartache and soul searching. We had a happy marriage at one point and I'd like to get back there if possible. I am NOT willing however to stay in a relationship with someone who considers others.

Mitch, thanks for your opinion. I have been trying to stay objective as I possibly can and it helps to hear opinions from women AND men. My gut has given me a very bad feeling, though, and I guess I think I probably know what the polygraph results will be. He's said NO to the polygraph. I said think it over for a couple of days. At that point if and when he continues to refuse, I will go with my gut.

The polygraph is give by lots of places. We would probably use Pacific Polygraphs. They do a voice polygraph that is 98% accurate and is used by the CIA, the FBI and lots of other reptuable places including insurance agencies of all things!! It is done over the phone and takes 15 minutes. He has a choice whether or not he takes the polygraph. Please understand that if the viagra in his suitcase was the only thing that was an issue in our marriage I might not be so insistent. He travels for work and I need peace of mind. I am trying to be prepared for whatever the results of the polygraph are, regardless. I'm sure it isn't going to be easy. If he refuses the test, I will have a decision to make.

Thank you all for your kind replies. We are in MC right now but I can't go forward working on our relationship until this is settled. I have decided to tell him I want him to take a polygraph test so that I can put this behind me. His initial lie coupled with the crazy story about taking the pill on the way in town have shattered my trust. I don't know how to restore it otherwise. He just keeps telling me to take him at his word and I want to but I CAN'T. I don't think I am being unreasonable since we have been having intimacy problems and I have been worried about possible infidelity. We have only had sex about 9 times in the last 3 years, so obviously we have issues. I am willing to do whatever it takes to make things better but ONLY if he isn't participating or planning on participating in adultery.

Thanks so much everyone for your replies. Yes, he has taken viagra for about 3 years. It hasn't really been the "answer" as sometimes he still has difficulties maintaining an erection. About 3 weeks ago he was laying next to me in bed and I realized he was jacking off. It made me feel cruddy to know he'd prefer his hand over me. Thank you Cindy for your encouragement. I'm not sure how he can continue to travel for his job. It takes alot of trust when your spouse travels and I feel like mine has been shattered.

Nope I didn't have one, and it didn't occur to me that I should have. Good for you, you sound more informed than I was:)

Heather, that can't feel good! I still have a bubble butt but if I lose enough maybe it will calm down. On a happy note, I felt my hip bones for the first time the other night!! I also wonder if we are used to "plopping" down when we sit, etc. because most of us have the padding to do so?

Brandy, Make tomorrow a new start and resolve to do something good for yourself every day! Even if it is just taking vitamins or drinking water. You've had alot of success so you can do it!! Just don't beat yourself up over it, it won't lead to the scale moving faster. If that was the case, I'd have been skinny and never needed the band:)

I don't have a fill yet, but I still feel some restriction! It isn't constant like it was the first few weeks but I am still eating less than I normally would. Today I had a Protein shake for Breakfast, one piece of cheese and 2 saltine crackers with a small bowl of fruit for lunch. Tonight however I ate a hamburger and a salad. I didn't finish the burger..ate about 3/4th and was satisfied. I haven't pb'd but I have got that stuck feeling 2 times and it was enough to make me not hurry. You are always different once you have the band. If you follow your surgeons rules you probably can't forget it's there. My surgeon says no carbonation for 6 months, no eating and drinking at the same time (so hard for me), no stuffing yourself on junk. It's not like a "diet" where you can just decide to take a day "off" and go to the buffet and have a food fiesta. Everytime I forget the band it reminds me it's there, lol. I was hot one day and grabbed a beer and opened it and took a swig...OMG...the burning..the ouch..I just completely forgot..but I won't again, lol.

There were two pills in the bottle. About 6 weeks ago I looked in the bottle (yes, I've been trying to keep track because I have been so insecure since we haven't been having sex) and there were the two. At the time I hadn't checked for awhile and could have sworn there should have been 3 but I wasn't 100% positive. I didn't want to confront him if I wasn't sure, and honestly I didn't want to believe it was possible. Since then, I have kept a close eye on the pills. I took the bottle from him before he left. Since we have kids, it's impossible for me to just show up at this conference he's at or I would do that. I SO agree I need honesty from him at this point before I can even consider moving forward. If he can't come clean about why he was taking the pills, I'm left in limbo. I keep thinking about how he tried to tell me first that the pills were always in the suitcase. That was a lie for SURE. Tonight he left me a message on my phone saying that was merely him "misspeaking". He's traveled for years and with his job it is almost impossible to be able to maintain any keeping tabs on him. Frankly, I don't want to have to do that anyway. Who wants to keep looking over their shoulder? It makes me think there is no hope.:thumbup:

He's called several times since he left town but I've not taken the calls. He basically says "he'd never do anything like that" on the message machine, why would he go to counseling, etc.. But the more I think about it, it makes me think this is the reason he hasn't wanted sex. I am crushed, really crushed because I don't know how I can go back to where I was before I found the pills in his suitcase.