SleeveToBypass2023

I made this post in another thread as a response to someone else, and then I realized it's something that might help others after they've had their surgery and find themselves struggling. Maybe you're seeing an increase in hormones all of a sudden...maybe you're discovering there's a lot more work involved in getting and keeping the results you need after having the surgery. Maybe you're struggling to change your relationship with food. Whatever the case is, maybe this will help "I never really had the emotional ups and downs, mostly because at the time I had PCOS, and the influx of estrogen from both my surgeries actually normalized my hormones for a few months each time lol What I DID have, however, is the emotional issues that came with changing my relationship with food. I had NO IDEA that would be a thing lol Changing what you eat, how you eat, when and why you eat, how often you eat is like breaking up with a toxic partner. You've been together for a REALLY long time, and even though you KNOW it's a terrible, unhealthy relationship, it's really all you know and you're so dependent on it you don't think you can function without it. And now you have to figure out how to. You have to completely retrain your brain, learn the difference between true hunger and head hunger (there is an actual, real difference), and you have to learn to read the nutrition labels, track your calories and Protein and carbs, work out, don't cheat (and don't make excuse after excuse and justification after justification for why you went back to the toxic relationship even after you knew it was bad for you, yet still gave in), measure food, track fluids, take HONEST accountability for your actions (which isn't something most of us had been particularly good at) and make adjustments as needed to stay as compliant as possible for the long haul. Contrary to what so many think, there's actually a LOT of work that has to happen after the surgery. The surgery itself is just a tool. It's not a miracle cure. It won't fix all the issues if you don't put in the actual work. Just eating smaller amounts without making any of the necessary changes isn't enough, and that's a hard lesson many learn later on. All of this is such a mind eff, and takes a toll on a person. It's a lot of changes, and a lot of work, thrown at a person all at once. And no matter how ready you think you are, it can still cause so much emotional turmoil, and understandably so. What I, and so many, don't realize is that we all have ED (eating disorders) in order to get to being obese and morbidly obese (or in some cases, super morbidly obese). It's not just anorexia or bulimia. I genuinely didn't know that. We have to retrain our brains to get out of that, and sometimes that requires help, and we have to be ok with getting that help. And because we have to do that, we then get incredibly frustrated and defeated feeling when the weight comes off slower than we thought it would, or we hit stalls (or in my case, stall after stall after stall - which is COMPLETELY normal, by the way, and should be expected). I said all of this to say there's SO many different reasons we can have emotions all over the place. Influx of hormones all at once, changes in relationship with food, changes in routines and increase in the things we don't particularly like doing (or not doing anymore), learning we have to do a lot of work to get and maintain the results we want after the surgery, learning PATIENCE with the rate of weight loss and trusting the process (easier said than done, believe me, I know), realizing that body dysmorphia is REAL and we can and do struggle with seeing ourselves as anything other than our formerly obese selves (I'm 182 pounds and I still see 421 pounds sometimes when I look in the mirror), and of course, hair loss (also COMPLETELY normal, and will eventually stop). You won't go bald, there's nothing to prevent it or stop it, you need to increase your protein, biotin doesn't slow it down, and it's a COMPLETELY normal part of the process that many of us don't know about until it happens and then we freak out. So give yourself some grace and just know this is normal. You're doing great, and we're all here for you, just like everyone was here for me "

I definitely should be sleeping lol I have to get up at 5:30 for work and it's now 3:40am. Ugh... WHY do I do this to myself??? So many think that the prep before the surgery, and the recovery from the surgery, and the first 6 weeks post-surgery is the hard part. Then they can just go back to eating what they want, just in smaller portions. They don't really make any changes, unless their taste buds change or they develop any food allergies. And they don't incorporate much in the way of exercise because they just think the surgery and eating way smaller amounts will be enough. And a few years down the road, AFTER the work has been done and you're maintaining your goal weight for a few years, that might very well be the case for SOME (not all) people. I've even seen it on here. But that is most DEFINITELY not the case the first year, or sometimes (in my case, for example) not even the first 2 years (although I choose not to even try, personally. I like how I eat, live, look, and feel and it's not worth it to incorporate any of the bad foods I use to eat back into my diet "just because I can"). The first year or 2 is really for doing the work, and many don't realize how much goes into that. Like you said, reading it and living it are 2 very different things. The work still has to be done, but giving yourself grace in understanding why there's such a struggle with it can go a long way in helping deal with it and move on from it.

Of course If this post helps even a couple of people, I'm glad I wrote it at 3am lol There's so much to learn on here, and the OGs have a lot of wisdom, and hard truths, to impart of the newbies lol I always want to help. Yes, I get frustrated when advice is ignored and then someone comes on and complains that they gained weight, or the weight isn't coming off. But I try to remember that it's a learning curve, and we all stumble and fall on this journey. You just have to be willing to take accountability for your actions, get up, and start again. I'm proud of every single person here who made the decision to save their lives by getting this surgery. It's life changing, and life saving. And I know first hand that many of us have a food addiction that got us into this, and it's up to us, in combination with the surgery, to get ourselves out of it. If I, and the others here that have done it, can help anyone else along the way, we're very happy to

I never really had the emotional ups and downs, mostly because at the time I had PCOS, and the influx of estrogen from both my surgeries actually normalized my hormones for a few months each time lol What I DID have, however, is the emotional issues that came with changing my relationship with food. I had NO IDEA that would be a thing lol Changing what you eat, how you eat, when and why you eat, how often you eat is like breaking up with a toxic partner. You've been together for a REALLY long time, and even though you KNOW it's a terrible, unhealthy relationship, it's really all you know and you're so dependent on it you don't think you can function without it. And now you have to figure out how to. You have to completely retrain your brain, learn the difference between true hunger and head hunger (there is an actual, real difference), and you have to learn to read the nutrition labels, track your calories and Protein and carbs, work out, don't cheat (and don't make excuse after excuse and justification after justification for why you went back to the toxic relationship even after you knew it was bad for you, yet still gave in), measure food, track fluids, take HONEST accountability for your actions (which isn't something most of us had been particularly good at) and make adjustments as needed to stay as compliant as possible for the long haul. Contrary to what so many think, there's actually a LOT of work that has to happen after the surgery. The surgery itself is just a tool. It's not a miracle cure. It won't fix all the issues if you don't put in the actual work. Just eating smaller amounts without making any of the necessary changes isn't enough, and that's a hard lesson many learn later on. All of this is such a mind eff, and takes a toll on a person. It's a lot of changes, and a lot of work, thrown at a person all at once. And no matter how ready you think you are, it can still cause so much emotional turmoil, and understandably so. What I, and so many, don't realize is that we all have ED (eating disorders) in order to get to being obese and morbidly obese (or in some cases, super morbidly obese). It's not just anorexia or bulimia. I genuinely didn't know that. We have to retrain our brains to get out of that, and sometimes that requires help, and we have to be ok with getting that help. And because we have to do that, we then get incredibly frustrated and defeated feeling when the weight comes off slower than we thought it would, or we hit stalls (or in my case, stall after stall after stall - which is COMPLETELY normal, by the way, and should be expected). I said all of this to say there's SO many different reasons we can have emotions all over the place. Influx of hormones all at once, changes in relationship with food, changes in routines and increase in the things we don't particularly like doing (or not doing anymore), learning we have to do a lot of work to get and maintain the results we want after the surgery, learning PATIENCE with the rate of weight loss and trusting the process (easier said than done, believe me, I know), realizing that body dysmorphia is REAL and we can and do struggle with seeing ourselves as anything other than our formerly obese selves (I'm 182 pounds and I still see 421 pounds sometimes when I look in the mirror), and of course, hair loss (also COMPLETELY normal, and will eventually stop). You won't go bald, there's nothing to prevent it or stop it, you need to increase your Protein, Biotin doesn't slow it down, and it's a COMPLETELY normal part of the process that many of us don't know about until it happens and then we freak out. So give yourself some grace and just know this is normal. You're doing great, and we're all here for you, just like everyone was here for me

Have they done an endoscopy to check on your pouch? If not, you might want to ask for one. If nobody can figure it out, that might give them some answers.

A 3 month stall??? Holy smokes, you are definitely stronger than me. The worst I ever had was 2 months and I was climbing the walls. I was trying soooo hard to pay attention to the NSVs but 2 months of nothing moving on the scale nearly drove me to insanity. I have no idea how you handled 3 months, but I give you all the respect, props, and credit in the world for getting through it. CONGRATULATIONS on hitting the 100 pound mark. That's absolutely AWESOME!!!!! I'm really happy for you. It feels amazing, doesn't it? Not only are you solidly in ONEderland, but you're so close to your goal!! I know you'll get there. Just be ready, because the lower your bmi, the sloooower the weight comes off. It took me a full 2 years to lose my weight, so don't get discouraged if it takes a while. But you can definitely get there. You got this!!!

I was just coming back on over here to say maybe try non dairy. Maybe try protein shakes that aren't whey (or if you're not using whey, try them). Try something different than what you're using now. When I had my surgeries, I developed weird allergies that I've never had before. I'm not lactose intolerant, allergic to peanuts, allergic to shellfish (deathly allergic), and allergic to surgical glue. It's really crazy what these surgeries can do to our bodies.

95 pounds in 3 months??? That's very alarming. That's roughly 32 pounds per month. That's not ok, no matter how you look at it. Your tests have all come back normal? If you can't eat, that's a real problem. I guess try having as many protein shakes as you can. If you make them at home, add things to them like greens powder, frozen fruit, avocado, maybe peanut or almond butter....whatever you can to get as much in you as possible. You need protein and calories and healthy fats right now. You also need fluids. Protein shakes will count as protein, calories, and fluids. See if you can get some zofran for the nausea. Which doctor is doing your tests, your primary or your bariatric? You should definitely be seeing your bariatric surgeon for this.

It's not that you need hard truth, you just need to face some truths for yourself. There's nothing we can tell you that you don't already know. You know what the bariatric diet is. You know what to eat and what not to. You know how much to eat, how often, and when to stop. You need to get back to basics. Maybe start the bariatric diet over. Do a week on each step of the diet to retrain your stomach and brain on what to do and not do. There's no "pouch shrinking diet" but there's a "retrain yourself how to eat properly again" diet, and it's essentially to start back over with the basics and go from there. Reach back out to the nutritionist from your surgeon's office if you need help or new meal ideas. Go back to using calorie/carb/protein/fat counting apps. Measure out your food again. Log your meals and meal plan. Make sure you're moving your body at least a little every day. Cut out sugar and salt as much as you can. Do all the things you did when you lost the 70 pounds. Do the things you already know to do. There's not really any new tips and tricks. It's lifestyle changes you need to make and stick with. If you didn't do it before, do it now.

I was told not to use it the first 12 weeks, but after that, it was fine. And it's been completely fine, no issues at all.

I uploaded my profile pic. Go to your profile and there should be a little square in the circle area where your pic would go. Click that and you can upload a pic from your computer, or phone if you're using that.

I could realistically wear a 4 1/2, but I would never get it over my knuckle. I can juuuuust barely get the 5 over my knuckle, so at least I know it won't come off. That is insane to me. Even in high school, when I was at my smallest, my ring size was a 6. My wrists are so small right now that I can't even wear a normal sized bracelet. I used to be able to in high school, and that was my goal again, but now my wrist is too small. Just like now my fingers are so small I can't buy standard sized rings in the store lol That's what I wanted to be able to do again, and now I'm right back to having to buy specialty sizes again...just on the other end of the spectrum.

Make sure you're getting your protein and fluids. I know you're 1 month out, so you can't get your full calories in yet. But don't push yourself too fast. Give your body time to heal, prioritize fluids and protein, and trust the process. You'll get there, but it's a marathon, not a sprint. You didn't gain the weight in a month or 2 and you won't lose it in a month or 2.

The patient portal is 100% the way to go. The front desk has zero access to it. No one except the medical assistants and the doctors can access it and respond. And the medical assistants can only respond if the doctors tell them to, and then they respond with whatever the doctor tells them. I do it all the time. I can go in and tell lab results, inform about medications and referrals, that type of thing. But anything that involves patient questions about care, visits, surgery specifics, etc MUST be responded to by the doctor or by the medical assistant AFTER the doctor sees the message and tells the MA what to say to the patient in response. I have 5 different patient portals lol And I have 1 password I use for all of them, that way it's easy to remember. That password is just different than what I use for anything else.

I finally got my actual wedding ring sized. It was a size 8 when we got married. I was able to wear it for several years, and then I sized it to a 9 and wore it for a few more years. But once I went up to a 10, I started to wear a plain men's band. Now that I'm done losing weight, I finally got it sized to a 5, although I could realistically wear a 4 1/2, but I would never get it over my knuckle. I can juuuuust barely get the 5 over my knuckle, so at least I know it won't come off. I have to be honest, it looked smaller when my hand was bigger lol Now that my hand is a lot smaller and bonier, the stones look A LOT bigger, which is kind of weird lol I definitely wasn't expecting that.

I do 2 capfuls of Miralax every morning. It keeps me regular enough (I go on average of one good poo every other day). I try to incorporate fiber in my food, but honestly, I'm not super great at it. So I started adding Benefiber this last week and it's helped me do an extra 2 poos a week, which is fantastic. I do have some stool softener/laxative combo tablets if my magic combo doesn't work for 3 days in a row. On day 4, that's when I take the caplets.

Girl...if you don't smile... You look absolutely FANTASTIC!!! I definitely can see the difference. And don't worry about the scale. She's a shady bish that likes to cause drama. Pay more attention to your NSVs (Non Scale Victories). How are your clothes fitting? How are your rings fitting? How are you fitting in chairs with arms and booths? Are you able to move and walk and be active easier and more often? The thing that helps me is to look at the side by side pics a lot. Sometimes I still look in the mirror and see 421 pounds. But then I put on my size 30 outfit or my size 10 ring and it shocks me back to reality, Or I look at the side by side pics and then I can REALLY see the difference. You're doing AMAZING, especially since you're only 1 month out. Give yourself some grace and enjoy your progress. It's going really, really well.

Absolutely. If you have a patient portal, ask your questions there. That goes directly to the medical assistants AND the doctors. If you don't have one, just make appointments to be seen by whoever you feel actually knows what they're doing. You can go in or do telehealth (at least, most offices offer telehealth). Girl, that people pleaser stuff has GOTTA GO. With a quickness. Especially when it comes to your health and medical care. You have to advocate for yourself, and who cares if anyone finds you annoying? If they do, they aren't doing their job properly anyway. You do what you gotta do for yourself and to hell with anyone that doesn't like it.

As someone who use to do the front desk job at a doctor's office, I can tell you that many of them think just because they work around medical professionals, the knowledge somehow rubs off on them and they think they know things. Now, you have insurance eligibility, scheduling, payment, or phone questions? Those are the ONLY people you want to talk to (the doctors and medical assistants really don't deal with any of that and will just refer you to them anyway). Anything OTHER than that? Nope. Don't even try it. Ask to speak to the medical assistant (who will immediately either get the provider for you or get the CORRECT information from the provider for you if the provider isn't available at that moment) or ask to see your doctor or the NP there. Those are the ONLY ones you want to trust with ANYTHING medical at all. Signed, your friendly neighborhood clinical medical assistant who actually knows how to do her job and what her scope of practice is lol

I can say that I have a good idea how you feel. 2 years ago I had my sleeve surgery. A year ago, I had my revision to bypass because of all the complications and surgeries that happened as a result of the sleeve. I lost a good year, between the tests, procedures, surgeries, complications from the surgeries, recovering from the surgeries, losing work and struggling to pay bills, etc... It took having the revision to finally get my life back. And even then, I was still fixing the last of the issues the sleeve caused. I'm so sorry today is so hard for you. Just know you're strong, you made it through, and you're doing way better now than you were then. And while the road to where you are now certainly wasn't ideal, it's led you to this point now, and you're really doing great. I'm very happy that you're doing so much better, and I fully believe things will keep going up and up and up for you

Being that you're a night shift nurse, you're already burning a ton of calories. You should probably cut your workouts way back. If you want to still work out frequently, maybe try for 45 minutes 3 days per week. Definitely increase your fluids. Get plenty of sleep. Increase your calories to AT LEAST 1000 per day, because with what you're burning between work and working out, your body likely thinks it's in starvation mode and it's hanging on to everything it can. If you decrease the workouts a bit and increase the calories a bit and increase your sleep and fluids, you should be able to wake your body back up and start losing again. Also, what are your stats? What surgery did you have, what was your starting weight and bmi and what is it now? You lose more and faster when you're heavier. As you get closer to a healthier and "normal" weight and bmi, the weight comes off slower.

I actually hadn't thought about that at all....I may give them a call on Friday, as well, and see what they say. I have a feeling my surgeon's office is going to LOSE IT when they hear what she has been saying and what she wants.

So my doctor has me seriously ticked off. She told me she'd like to see my weight and bmi down. I said "WHAT???? I weigh 183 and my bmi is 30. What's wrong with it???" She told me she wants to see my weight around 155 or 160 and me at a normal bmi. I was like "if I do that, I'll look sickly!!! I've always been bigger boned and somewhat curvy, I carry my weight differently. Not one person would look at me right now and think I look like I weigh 183. No way would I look healthy if I went down to 160" and she said it would be better for my health and I should at least think about it. I told her "my blood pressure already runs on the low side of normal. I struggle to keep it up to 103/55!!! My A1c is 5.0 and my glucose is 96. I'm not on any meds except what I take for my MS. All my labs come back perfect. What else do you want??" I told her I feel amazing, I'm really active, I'm able to work as a clinical medical assistant for a busy specialty practice (infectious disease) which has always been my dream, I hike, I work out, literally I'm living the life I only dreamed about. What am I missing here???? I was so mad. And she said we'll discuss it at our appt on the 17th. I said "oh we'll discuss some stuff, alright, but that ain't happening". She's going based off my height, weight, bmi, and their supposed "ideal weight" BS. My bariatric surgeon is ecstatic with my progress. He actually said I've lost more, with both surgeries, than he realistically expected that I would. My neurologist is thrilled because losing all the weight has significantly improved my MS symptoms. My gastroenterologist is thrilled because all of my GI issues have gone away. Just this idiot yahoo isn't happy. I definitely think I need a new doctor. This is just too much. For reference, here's what I looked like when I first started seeing her, and here's what I look like now, literally this week....as in Monday and yesterday.....

Even though it's 4th of July and everything is closed, I'm doing some research today on new doctors that actually have knowledge about massive weight loss in patients who have had bariatric surgery. I plan to make some calls on Friday and set up a new patient appt or 2 (this time around, I'm interviewing them before I commit...neve ever thought I'd be doing THAT, lemme tell ya). I wasn't going to go to my appt on the 17th, but I think I still will to get my blood work done and my vitals, and to tell her that I'm seeing a new doctor and why. Actually, I want to tell the medical assistant because she'll put it in my chart. At this point, I'm not sure if the doctor will. I know I'm due for my 6 mo ekg in office, my full vitals, my meds refilled, and my blood work. I want all of that done before I go to a new doctor so they have the most recent and up to date records on me and the most accurate place to start. I will NOT be entertaining any discussions about phentermine or losing more weight. I may go ahead and lose those 3 pounds that @ShoppGirl mentioned, that way nobody can say anything either way. But still.... I'm leaving that practice no matter what. I'm not happy or comfortable there at this point.

Well now I just feel like my whole life has been a lie!!! Next you're gonna tell me all of Australia isn't remote bushland with extremely large animals around every corner trying to kill me the second I set foot outside in the 135 degree heat!!!!