thinblueline

People ( some people) just dont get it and may never get it however that doesnt mean you cant speak up and asert yourself and simply say "no thank you "and if they push tell them no thank you , eventually they will get it trust me it worked with me but i was abrasive and i suggest you not follow in my footsteps but they did isten finally i have a big family and most are cops and firefighters with egos like you read about , i hope you dont have to go through this again its unfair and at times cruel , i wish you well on your journey, take care.

I have no illusions that i have to see and work with someone who deals with BED otherwise i am screwed i have to do ther work not the therapist he / she is simply a tool with suggestions to show me what i need to do with this disease that will cripple me if i am not open to her help if i fight it then that's on me. Coop

Like i said i am not sure if am a food addict( I'm not denying as such) however ALL MY LIFE i have been BIG my biggest was 310 and i am now at 288 and i know i need to do something about or its going to ruin my life if it has not done so already i have to admit i love food i am not so sure if i love eating it i even get angry with my wife when she asks me what do you want for dinner i am sick f hearing it , its almost like a task you have to work at , enough already, am i making any sense i think i am fighting this "food addict" issue almost like i cant or wont admit it as a result of if i have an issue i have to do something about it and maybe i am denying the obvious, i don't want to be held accountable for this disorder i have enough shame in my life already,

I apologize for taking offense when you were trying to help,Take care

Youre absolutely correct in everything you said basically you nailed it my friend.

I realized this site is a Trigger for me and i say this i mean everyone is talking about food it causes me to want food let me help you explain{ i am in recovery for alcoholism ( almost ten years this summer) never mind it's to complicated all i know is I'm having a hard time calling myself a "food addict" perhaps i am in denial , perhaps i need to have someone on here to help me better understand better this disorder , help me someone i cant keep living my life like this , one minute i think i might have this thing they call BED i can identify with alcoholism because i know for a fact i am for sure a drunk I'll be sober i am sober 10 years this summer ( June 30 ) anyway again i don't know if I'm a food addict but i know this site is triggering me to want food therefore does that mean i have BED because i have been triggered before and that was the result of having been diagnosed with PTSD so ( i know no one on here is an MD or maybe there is)) i know the feeling(s) that surface for me , i hoped this made " some sense " enough out of me. ☘️

WLS is a tool that will help you lose the weight, yes. But the bigger battle is the mental battle. Get into some good counseling to talk about your food triggers and issues and good luck on your WLS journey. I have been in counseling for almost nine years and it has been a ride for sure, thank you for the kind words honestly i would like to look at food like its food and not obsess over it. Keep in touch it would be nice to make some friends around here, take care.

Suzanne i am a veteran and they VA is doing the SX and i am bipolar so it doesn't require such test they didn't require one when i had hip replacement SX.

Whats wrong ?

Thank you for replying to my post it was helpful, i think even though i didn't ask her my therapist doesn't so much per se specialize in BED but she has talked very little about it to me she is Brillant and i am not just saying that top of her class AT HAVARD and BENTLEY anyway not sure where i was going with her schooling LOL i am not against BED i just know nothing about it however i have my first virtual appt April 1st , keep in touch if you want, Coop

You did help more then you know. you seem offended please don't be it wasn't my intent to, i apologize.

Hey Tek thanks man i appreciate that, i finally got some welcoming message i could be wrong but you seem like a caring person, you are reaching out to me shows me you are self-LESS and that's a huge character trait my wife tells me that all the time so i figured i would pass it on, keep in touch. Coop

i just read what BED is it said some of the psychiatric conditions are: PTSD Depression Bipolar disorder Now i know why i was relieved of my duties from the state police, I am surprised i made it through the academy i guess i am willing to be open to this eating disorder because if i keep fighting it i know i will fail because its rather obvious i have it the way i eat i wasn't GOING TO Share this but , i will i used to stick my finger down my throat for no other reason other than because i could NOT because i wanted to either i don't know i just want to feel better physically i am tired of living in this body i barely leave the house unless i have to like a Drs appt at the Veterans hospital or the chiropractor otherwise I'm in the house which gives me all timer to eat , the wife is at work 10 hrs.' a day so i have all kinds of freedom anyway that's a portion of my story.

thank you but i am trying to make a connection with people on here in that they can answer some questions i have thanks again.

Where is that nice lady Sugarbee24🌷🌸

First of all i have been in therapy for the last 9 yrs. and i don't have any "Mental issues" thank you also i have only been on here for about a week so do me a favor please don't take my inventory ok , thanks....and no i am not attacking you i am clearly setting a boundarie' with you. You seem to have some control issues going on😎. Have a good day.

Only when it was over did i realize i went on an eating binge today, eating all kinds of food , pizza , muffins, peanut butters sandwich ,chicken and riced cauliflower with salad dressing on the rice i dont know what my problem is i know better another slice of pizza has anyone find themselves doing this at some point in their livesi am so sick and tired of food running my life and how i think and feel, i actually feel a rush at times when i eat is that normal ? do other people get that same feeling , i hope i am not alone, even though i feel alone at times....i can only hope this SX will give me the perspective i need along with the understanding i will need to pay attn to the foods i eat from now on . i hope i dont have to wait long for the SX i want to go back to living and not existing like i am now, i am NOT trying to be negative but i have a torn disc in my back and today was not a good day so if i am coming across angry or negative i am typically not like that ,anyway thank you for letting me vent i appreciate truly i do....😎

Will i need to see a phycologist before i have my SX ? 😊 Coop

Gradycat i have been seeing a therapist the last 8 and a half years so i know she can help me prepare for WLS i am actually looking forward to the SX it will give me a perspective that i hadn't had prior , i noticed you have over three thousand post WOW you're a busy lady, keep in touch you cant have to many friends right ? Coop

I thought joining this site would be easy in that i just ask the questions and take it from there i guess i was wrong its always been tough for me to ask for help from others because i didnt want to get hurt but i know by joining this wealth of information from this site i cant lose i guess what i am trying to say is i need some help if i am going to have this surgery , right, i know by qwhat my wife tellls me i will never eat the same way again ( she had the SX) is this true , nor will i look at food the same way again , does anyone have any have any suggestions and/or advice because this is real difficult for me....never mind.😕

My BMI is 44.9 how bad is that and i weight 288 so defeated and at a loss as to where did i go wrong to get this big i think it was the day when my jeans wouldn't latch, for lack of a better word it really sucks because i am the only one who is obese ( call it what it is ) in my family who are all state troopers and firefighters filled with machismo who think they can do no wrong i have the kind family are typical " do as i say not as i do" the cops especially say this, they forget i changed their diapers and wiped there bottoms so the cant act better than they are not going to find out about my SX they do not deserve to know , i am, a good guy as we ALL ARE i feel so guilty but as time goes by i will come out of it a better man . like i did in the past, take care guys and be good to yourselves because no one else will.

I justified it in my head and made it ok to eat this way right now i feel ok with a little bit of guilt thrown in i F#$%^ hate this disease it kills and people think its about just stop eating to much , what a crock if it were that simple i wouldn't be almost 300 lbs and i feel so dirty inside the only place i can let let it out i mean let it and cry is in the shower , don't get me wrong i will cry in front of my wife i just can't get to upset i guess its a male thing and a lot of pride i dont know where i am going with this " Dude" but i know this i have to get a handle on this disease or its going to kill me. I noticed you had your SX good for you , any complications , if you feel like sharing me or have some advice for me that may help let me know i am up tonight late....i am in Massachusetts where are you from, talk to you soon. Coop

I'm not sure if i should say this but your family they're cruel no one should be treated the way they treat you i dont even know you and i am a little angry i feel for you i really do, try your best to ignore them you will be so much better off and like you said just don't talk to them about your SX period i wish you well, truly.🌺

I think i am going to like it around here i get so much positive feedback and i like it because my family certainly would not support me and my journey through this tough process i am not kidding myself if i think this process is going to be easy only kidding myself anything worth fighting is worth it , right , my relationship with food is so skewed i can't seem to get a handle on it i try so hard to lose weight or at least eat salads poultry and it works for a little while and i go right back to my old ways , i become so angry that i say screw it i just eat anything is there anything as far as advice goes that anyone can offer me about why i get so emotionally attached to food it would be nice to understand if i could what a freedom that would be , thank you for taking the time in reading this i appreciate it. 😀

I just can't relate to anyone on here because i have not had my SX yet i know i chat with others and ask them what their experience(s) were and strike up a conversation after all we're all in this together right. I would like to talk about self-esteem after all it effects all of us the reason i bring this up because isn't it vicious cycle that we (i know i do ) tend to blame ourselves for the situation we are in ,for example i blamed myself for my bi-lateral hip replacement when i was alone at home when i was discharged from the hospital i never felt so alone in alone in all my life i bring this up because my self-esteem was shot and i was loaded with guilt and i blamed myself for the SX and i could have made my situations different ( i worked construction)all my life)but i refused to. anyway, i hope this makes sense because it all ties in together from the construction to the eating to much working to much the list goes on, i hope all of you have a great day and be gentle with yourselves because no else will.😎