anonymous2006

I am really embarrased to be asking this, however, I can't seem to find any answers on the net. About 5 months ago I had the band installed. Physically, everything is great. I used to be really heavy and now my weight is about 2/3'rds the way to goal weight. I am much healthier, fitter, and better feeling in every way except for one. My problem will take some explaining.... Before the band, I was happy with my life. I went to work during the weekdays and enjoyed myself on the weekends. I enjoyed playing computer games, reading alot, going to movies, the mall, and going out to eat from time to time. I am married with no kids, however, I was fine with that, in fact, I thought it was perfect. If I were to pick a word to describe my life I would choose "contented". However, I knew that if I did not lose weight, then I probrably would be dead by my mid-forties. Being thirtyish now, I realized that I had to fix things. To make a long story short, I had the band installed. At about two months post-op things were going great, being male, the weight came off fairly quickly, and continues to drop off. Sometimes I am reminded of the movie "Thinner". However, I noticed that psycholigically, things were changing too. The changes were not manifested by a change in my outward behaviour, however I started to feel...different...mentally. Here are some examples... 1. In the past, when I dieted, and lost alot of weight (from 30% body fat to 15%), I still thought of myself as fundamentally an overwieght person that was on a diet. I knew that the weight would come back if I ever fell off the wagon. However, now I see my self as a skinny person. A skinny person that still has some weight to lose, but skinny nonetheless. In general, this whole line of thought seems odd to me everytime I think about it. 2. About 2 month post-op, all of the things that I listed in paragraph 2 above as making my life contented, stopped doing so. Now, I find myself looking forward to the weekend ending and going back to work. Don't get me wrong, I am not a work-aholic, however, I seem to find purpose at work and that seems to make me happier. Please forgive me, I know this sounds bizarre. 3. I am starting to feel a certain restlessness in my life. Its very hard to describe. Even though I feel and look younger physically, I am starting to feel like I am old. It's a feeling like I am missing something. However, I don't know what that something is. Oddly, I have never really felt uncertain about anything. I have never really had much self-doubt nor have I ever had an internal "crisis". This whole thing is really weirding me out. I have dieted in the past, and have reached this weight before (Atkin's). However, I dont remember feeling anything like the kind of issues that I am feeling now. In the past, dieting just made me thinner and I had to buy new clothes. It really wasn't a big deal and that was about the extent of it. Unfortunately, there seems to be something very different going on this time. It's a like the Me that was Me before isn't Me anymore and I don't know who Me is. That must seem nuts. Something unexpected has changed mentally with me, and it is really scaring me. Has anyone ever heard of this? Does anyone have any fixes? I am little afraid of knowing, but does anyone know what end result of these types of issues are?