Stella_Eterna

Okay, I'm 21. I had my band put in on Feb. 2nd of 2007 and was ready to set down my weight-loss journey. Lost a good 30 lbs. in the first few months just from chewing slower and not being able to eat that much. But, after I began to allow myself to try and eat normally (meaning real food and not basically Soups and Protein shakes) I began to realize that I had a serious anxiety problem which liked to show its head whenever I ate: I can't use the band properly! I know you are supposed to eat your small meal and then let the food SIT in the pouch until your saliva breaks it up and it moves through. Whenever I attempted to let the food sit in my pouch, I felt like it was squeezing my lungs and I couldn't breathe! It is incredibly painful! It sends me into a panic attack that I can't get out of. I have to go throw up EVERY TIME! I realize that this is not healthy so in order to keep myself ALIVE, I started eating those "easy" foods. Now, my life is all about the tried an true (chicken and fish and soup). Thats all I ever eat because anything else won't pass through immediately. Yes, I said "pass through immediately". I can't let the food sit in my pouch at all so I eat food that requries lots of chewing and then I can swallow it and goes right through. It still keeps me from eating too much because it takes so daggum long to chew it...but I don't know what to do! I can't eat the right foods and EVERY SINGLE TIME I sit down to eat, I start to feel anxious about hurting from eating. I makes me not want to eat at all... Has anyone else had this problem!? I've already gotton my band loosened. It can't get any more loose without being empty and yet I still have problems with food getting stuck in my pouch and the minute I feel that pressure of the back-up, I freak out and have to go throw up. I want to get the band taken out but my family frowned upon me when I told them and they said it was all in my head. I take anxiety medicine and I see a therapist. Nothing is working! I don't want my family to be ashamed of me...I just want to be able to eat properly again. I've tried just sitting there and letting it stay in the pouch and using prayer or mantras or ay sort of relaxation technique...doesn't work. My whole body begins to hurt and I feel like I can't breathe. If anybody has any advice, suggestions, or whatnot, please let me know because I'm at the end of my rope. My bad nutrition is killing me...I'm getting sick and I know it's because my body is breaking down on me. I do take Multivitamin in the morning, but apparently it's not enough. I don't want to live my life in fear of throwing up at every single meal!

That's what I thought to, that I was eating too much. But what you don't know is that I get that sensation for eating as little as 2 or 3 bites of my meal. I can feel the food sit in the pouch even at the bottom of the pouch. I don't see how 2 or 3 bites could be too much food. That's not enough to live on and it's not enough to actually fill the pouch. I think my body is just too sensitive to the feeling of the food in the pouch and it causes me to become anxious and to hurt. I guess, if I were to tell you exactly what is going through my mind, I think I'm scared that the food will be stuck forever. I'm not quite sure if I understand of believe in the system properly...