Let me just say (as a married man) that there is NO EXCUSE!!!! for what he did to you. it sucks even more that he would do this while you are so vulnerable. as my wife will attest after her first broken marriage, "once you know you can cross the line it is much easier the second time"
. hay..that rhymes! if he was willing to break your trust the first time he is more likely to do it again. as a coping tool you might look into meditation. it has helped me through some very tough times. i hope you keep your chin up and remember this was HIS screw up, not yours. it is very common to feel insecure, unloved and unattractive after this kind of violation of trust. don't let his poor representation of manhood ruin your successes!