Hey from Seattle,
I've been struggling with my weight since I was 13 and have played yo-yo dieter for the better part of 15 years. It occurred to me recently that while I have control over so many other things in my life, this is one area that I feel helpless and, frankly, ashamed. I don't think I know what it feels like to not feel self concious or disappointed in myself regarding weight. And I think I'm finally ready to do something about it.
So, I've been thinking about getting banded (note: I've already picked up the lingo from your conversations!) for a year now. And to be perfectly honest, I feel a lot of trepidation about what this means for the rest of my life:
- Guilt: I can't help but think that I got myself into this situation, I should be able to get myself out without surgery. When I've buckeled down and lost weight in the past, I felt like I really earned those lost pounds. But then then came back with a vengence. I know Lap Band is NOT a quick fix solution, but I guess I still feel like I should be able to do this on my own. Blame it on my Catholic Guilt.
- I love to eat: It's a big part of my social life -- which is probably a big part of the problem right there. I know I need to change the way I eat, but I don't weight loss to be the focal point of my life. But I also don't want to have to pray I get bumped to first class so my butt fits comfortably in airplane seats either.
- The horror stories scare the hell out of me: Even though Lap Band is much less invasive than other weightloss surgeries, it's still a medical procedure. I saw the postings about crazy post-surgery reactions and it freaks me out.
All that said, I know I need to do something. Now. I'm tired of making excuses. And I'm tired of feeling out of control with my body.
I don't expect anyone to respond to this, but I'm glad I've put this out there. If you have any advice, I'd certainly welcome it.
Thanks, peeps.