Queen ApisM

I have dilated cardiomyopathy. My cardiologist also was the one who really encouraged the surgery. So far, we haven't seen any crazy change in my ejection fractions, but we will see in June at my next echo. By then I would have been down more than 120 lbs for more than a year, so he is eager to see if there will have been any changes to my heart function. Having said that, I have had to reduce my BP meds quite a bit, so that's good. But, we are trying not to reduce them too much since they help with my DCM.

I'm sorry you are experiencing this. I have been lucky - so far. People have commented that I look great, that sort of thing, but no one has crossed a line. Having said that, I definitely have avoided people who would make those comments partly because they are toxic people and I know it ahead of time. In fact I was just at an industry gathering and actively avoided an old coworker because she is a gossip who would ask really obnoxious questions and then talk about me with others. Not going to entertain that crap. Thanksgiving will be interesting as I will see extended family and I am quite a lot thinner than the last times they saw me. I'll deal with them if and when it comes up. At least with truly toxic people you can try and avoid them, but then there are the ones who are wildcards and you can't do anything to evade that sort of thing.

It's really individual. I don't exactly recall what I was able to do at 3 months out, but I am pretty certain it was VERY little pasta or rice. I remember having to cook for my MIL after her surgery at around that time and I couldn't eat much of anything with pasta in it. Now I can have a bit more, but only a few bites if I am eating protein with it (which I am, most of the time). If not, I can eat 3/4-1 cup, but that's it. Which is good thing because that's a portion. Bread is more complex. At three months, the only bread I tried eating was a half slice of toast. Non-toasted bread was not happening. Now, I can eat bread, but how much is partly dependent on the qualities of the bread - how fluffy it is, how dense, what else I am eating with it. Also... anything with two slices of bread is usually a no go. I always stick to one slice of bread, or half a roll, or half of whatever. The only real exception to that rule is light English muffins. That portion size works well for me, but I am also 15 months out, so I wouldn't recommend trying that.

@SpartanMaker brings up a really good point. I assumed (and perhaps should not have) that the obsession choice of words was hyperbole. If not, then they are right, it could be an issue. I'd just be mindful about some of the items flagged in case any of them ring true for you.

Agree with others. As long as you are not overindulging (and it sounds like you have portion control under control) there is nothing wrong with this! Have fun trying out new things!!

Definitely bring it up to them, but I'd recommend givng them very specific information about what your shots entail - what hormones, in what amounts, etc. I mention this because sometimes doctors don't always know specifics about other specialties or specific medical needs. I know my practice had us stop birth control for a month before, I think, but that's a much different set of hormones than I imagine you are dealing with, with known implications for potential clotting risks. But, better to be very specific and insistent to make sure you are safe!! Good luck. 🙂

There isn't one diet. My program is very much about balanced eating, from early on. They have never said no carb or even low carb at any point in this process. Of course, they prefer better quality carbs, but they don't villainize a slice of bread. In fact, I just saw my nutritionist and described my normal breakfast, which involves a light English muffin. She loved it (because English muffins haven't expanded in size over the years like bagels and other items have) , and was baffled when I told her my PCP was aghast I was having an English muffin at breakfast. Honestly if I didn't have carbs (and that darn English muffin) it would be really hard to hit my calorie goals, which are also not as low as others might stick to (we just upped me to 1750, because I've been at 1500 and am working out at a lot at fairly high intensity but losing very slowly). I think we sometimes need to experiment, within reason, to determine what works best for us - physically and mentally. I know going carb free would not work long term for me, so I'm working on building better carb habits. Other people love going low or no carb, and their bodies respond. I think we need to be smart about how we go about things but also realize there are a lot of paths to success. It's about what works for our bodies and minds.

I plan to do what I did last year: try (taste) everything I'm excited about, and then based on how good it tastes, decide which ones get some of my precious tummy space. Last Thanksgiving I had just transitioned to solid foods and this was also my approach. It worked great. Obviously if you are not on solids yet that changes the equation quite a bit. No meal is worth potentially affecting the healing process. Honestly the only things I care about at Thanksgiving are stuffing and pumpkin pie. So, planning for some of each. And already scheming about how to keep active while visiting not so active family members.

This is hard. I also realize now how much I was eating and am sort of disgusted by it, but I really try NOT to project that on other people. First off, I don't know where I will be in another year or two or four. I hope I will continue to use my tool properly, but I may not, and then I am just being judgmental and a hypocrite. Second, to the point @ms.sss made, I didn't like when people commented on my food intake before surgery, so why should I do that to others unless they ask for advice? All those comments do is make people defensive or sad or angry, and often leads to people doubling down on what they are doing, perhaps getting depressed and eating even worse, and often being afraid (when they are ready) to ask for help. Lastly, it's not like I have been the paragon of weight virtue for 40+ years of my life, so I am not exactly well positioned to tell other people what to do just because I've had some success now. I try to be very honest about my surgery (personally I think it is important to combat the stigma around surgery and obesity) and what it has helped me with, but I try to make it about me, and what changes it made for me, without commenting or directly connecting to their actions. There are ways to support people positively without saying things outright: making lower calorie/healthier options for family gatherings, engaging them in fun active activities, etc. A bit of leading by example, without saying something directly. I know this is hard - my Greek extended family is obsessed with food! I try to steer them toward not needing to have so much for the holidays (2 desserts instead of 5, for example) or making one of the options something healthier, but you have to be careful to not make people completely tune you out. It's counterproductive.

I had this happen at about 100 lbs lost. Went to a meeting and someone I hadn't seen in more than year (from a previous employer) was amazed and clearly wanted to ask a lot of questions. It was very reaffirming because sometimes it is hard to see the changes on a day to day basis. Most people don't mention my weight directly, but a lot of comments about how I look amazing or look really different. If I ever get close to my goal (in another 100 lbs) I'm sure the reactions will be even more pronounced.

Wow, the difference is already staggering! Once swelling is gone it's going to be absolutely amazing!!

This. I fit this pattern to a T. I am 14 months out. I'm working out hard, tracking calories, and have dropped into the 4-5 bs a month range. The fast loss is only at the very beginning for most people, and will slow down. You will have stalls and it will be frustrating unless you are someone very lucky. This is a long game, not a quick fix by any means.

Agree with everything @kcuster83 said above. I love Crystal Light, but had to stay away the first few days after surgery. It was just too harsh immediately after surgery, but a week or two in it was totally fine. You may need to experiment. I wound up drinking a lot of warm bone broth, which was great because it has more protein than regular broth, felt nice in my tummy, and also counted for fluid. I also used to love all the Premier Protein shakes, and post op I hated everything except the Vanilla which was tolerable. The Caffe Latte is also delicious but I couldn't drink it for the first 6 months because of the caffeine. I switched to Unjury protein powders in soy milk. Yum.

Alrighty hive mind, I could use some advice. I've lost 120 lbs, and while I still have a long way to go, my exercise game is improving greatly. I've been challenging myself and slowly starting to add in some plyo/jumping moves. I'm very cautious and careful about it, because I haven't jumped in years but I can do it a bit and I am slowly pushing my boundaries and comfort levels, which is awesome. Less awesome? How my extra skin and fat literally flap when I try to do anything involving jumping or even anything too quick, like if I am doing some agility work. It is uncomfortable and sounds awful. Any ideas or recommendations on how people have reined it in? Wearing tighter exercise pants isn't enough, at least not the ones I am wearing from the common US plus size shops. Does anyone have a good brand they feel helps with this? Or any other recommendations on compression gear to help with this? I don't want to feel like a stuffed potato while working out, but the flapping doesn't really great for bringing out my exercise best.

Torrid came up twice in this thread, so I will check them out. Thanks!

I wanted to add, I wound up asking for an electric blanket last year for Christmas. I got two, and it's the best. I keep one in my room, and one in the basement. I don't need them all the time, but when I am REALLY cold and nothing else is helping, the electric blanket is awesome.

The struggle is real. I'm constantly freezing and I am by no way a thin woman. It's been a constant since surgery. That didn't used to be my life, I used to always be hot.

I cannot imagine working out in something that constricting. I've got to be able to move!

Thanks for replies! I may need to start wearing extra layers to squish it down/contain it. I don't want to let that extra fluff to impede my exercise advancement. It's a bit disheartening.

Arg, I just found out they are cancelling the service in the next month or so. I am really bummed about that development... 😞

Not to be alarmist, but are you sure it is real weight gain and not something causing you to gain water? I had this happen a number of years ago, where I was legitimately NOT eating enough to gain fat, but the scale was increasing. I was dealing with a heart issue at the time, and the weight gain was from that. I had to get on diuretics until my heart was in a better place. Again, not trying to be alarmist in any way, just throwing out that maybe something else is going on and it's not the PCOS. Perhaps you've become more salt sensitive? During the timeframe I noted above, I really had to become aggressive about cutting salt. Not so much anymore, but at that time it was like pouring gasoline onto a fire. It's just usually weight gain of that kind is water weight, unless you are gorging on food day in and day out.

Me too! I'll say, I've really liked some of the shirts and have bought a few that are great for work. Same thing with the skirts - they have a neoprene one that they do in lots of colors and patterns, and is able to handle a few sizes, so that's really nice and they look nice on me. One shipment was a total miss, and the latest one is all winners. The others have been a mix. But, it's been fun to try new things and not be committed. Haven't quite figure out my pants sizing yet but this is all about testing things out. Some of the stuff is way more body positive than I am ready for right now but hopefully working towards that!

I've started using Eloquii's service. You actually pick out the clothes you want to rent and they send you a selection of those you picked. I did it mostly because my work clothing situation is sad right now, and I am going in 1x week again and don't want to wear jeans all the time. I also was tired of wearing old things (granted, old things I haven't worn in 17 years) and wanted to feel better about my clothing situation. I've enjoyed it - I've tried things I would never have bought, and Eloquii also lets you buy stuff you like at a deep discount. Seriously the discount is dangerous because I keep buying the cute skirts and tops because they are hella cheap. Having said that, Eloquii has a trendier profile than Avenue or Lane Bryant, so some of their items might not be things you are willing to wear, depending on comfort level. Having said that, though, I have enjoyed it and it has made me willing to try some new stuff because I am not committed to it permanently. I totally think it is worth trying one of these services, especially as you venture into new territory where you don't have any sizes in your closet and you want new stuff!

This happened to me. I was self pay, and then got a bill months later for a crazy amount of money. I called my surgeon's office and asked if there were complications I didn't know about because of the insane bill I got. The PA there looked into it and got livid when she realized the hospital was billing me again, and intervened. It basically was a case of the hospital doing one thing, and not being synched up with the surgeon and such. Mine got sorted out pretty quickly when the surgeon's office got involved, but it was still a good month or so like others mentioned. I was really stressed out about it all at the time.

I ate separately only for the first few months when I was on purees and that sort of thing. Once I transitioned to real food, we started eating the same things again. Having said that, we don't have kids to worry about so we were just dealing with the two of us.