Queen ApisM

I'd ask your program, assuming you have nutrition support... post-surgery, my program didn't care about carbs. I lived off lentils and beans early on.

You look AMAZING! Great work.

I'm still sorting out the pattern, but I think my weight loss stalls out/slows way down during my period. Mine isn't every 30 days but when your husband notices the pattern it is probably happening. LOL!

I'm still within the first year (had my surgery in August 2021) and I honestly have no regrets so far, though that could certainly change in the future. But, right now, I wish I had done this so much sooner. I had an easy recovery, and overall haven't hated the whole process (even the pre-op diet) as much as I thought I would. For once, I feel hopeful about being successful in a way I never believed possible before. I feel amazing - actually, I feel lighter than I am. I'm sending so many clothes to goodwill that now fall off me, and I am fitting back into old clothes again. My blood pressure meds are being reduced significantly and I just feel like a new, transforming person. It's been really great for me physically and mentally.

You got me! Had a good chuckle.

I'm Greek, and everyone in your extended family feels like they can comment on weight. If you are thin, they will criticize that as well, but generally not as much as being fat. At the same time, they are constantly push food on you, sometimes immediately after commenting on how you are fat. So yeah, lots of fun to navigate. It definitely makes you feel (or at least made me feel) like my worth was/is inversely proportional to my weight. You also are always navigating a mine field of how to deal with social situations (all based around food): if you eat too much, that's not good, but if you don't eat, what is wrong with you? Add to it all the fact that food is the coping mechanism for many, because they don't have healthier methods, and it's a powder keg. I'm definitely generalizing based on my experience but I think it is pretty accurate. And all the "helpful" comments about how "beautiful you are, if you could lose weight" or how "you are the prettier sister, if you would lose weight". Yeah, those started early and often and do a great job of vaporizing your self confidence (at least when it came to my physical appearance).

I feel your pain on this one! But, I have to say I haven't regretted the money I spent on the surgery. It's tough to hand it over, but I'm sure you will do amazing and it will be well worth it.

My program has never restricted carbs post surgery, in fact they encourage a balanced diet and higher calories compared to some of the programs out there. I eat carbs on a regular basis, but that is coupled with watching overall calories and prioritizing protein. While I eat carbs, it is also nowhere near what I used to eat. I don't eat a lot of bread. The exception is a light English muffin as part of my breakfast sandwich - for some reason those English muffins don't bloat me the same way as other bread. Rice might be a few spoonfuls, the same with pasta. My tummy really cannot handle carbs in large amounts so pasta is no longer the go to food it used to be.

Oh my god. I wish I could count on two hands how many times people have felt they could comment on my weight or size. Coworkers, innumerable family members, strangers. Honestly, it's dozens if not hundreds of times. Because you know, I didn't notice all the fat on my body without them telling me.

Building back from scratch relative to what? Even at my heaviest, I worked out pretty regularly and did a lot of strength training. I took 2 months off with surgery and I definitely felt a decline but not back to my pre-training days. My abs (especially lower abs) were probably the worst, because my trainer was also going very gentle on them for a long while until we were sure everything is fully healed. I like protein snacks before and after workouts. So, Greek yogurt with some oatmeal and berries or a couple of light string cheese sticks. None of that is going to help with soreness - only time fixes that in my experience - but the protein is good for energy and muscles rebuilding.

I have had some pretty serious mental health issues related to both severe depression and anxiety, and have been in therapy at various points of time. Unlike many, I have never use medication in that time. That was not entirely my decision - surprisingly even as bad as I was, no one ever suggested it and I didn't raise it because I was scared of adding even more weight I didn't need. I kind of wonder if it was the medical establishment not taking my mental health issues as seriously given my weight (since they tend to blame everything on being obese). Given that, I cannot speak to experience with Zoloft. I am completely supportive of medication, so if that's the best course of action for you and your situation, you absolutely should do it. But, I think you should discuss your concerns with the therapist. Would it be possible to try talk therapy without the Zoloft, to see if that helps enough that the medication can be avoided? Or, are there other options either for dosing or the choice of antidepressant? I can understand your concerns, and this should certainly be a discussion with the therapist to reach a course of action you are both comfortable with. Good luck!

I wouldn't use the mirror as a judge. For those of us who are/have been overweight, we can have very disordered thinking when it comes to what we see in the mirror vs. reality. Are you measuring to see if you actually are losing inches? I was convinced I was not losing from my legs or booty, but then I started measuring and it helped a lot to help show that I was in fact losing when my brain was telling me I was not.

This has been so accurate for me! I will drop 10-15 lbs really fast, and then it will slow down/stop for a bit, and then drop fast again. Repeat. I have to give myself a pep talk every time it happens!

Definitely check what would work for the eval. For example, I was already seeing a therapist, who assumed I needed to go through a special battery of testing/questions. The surgeon's office clarified that she just needed to write a letter addressing specific concerns, which she was able to do just based on our ongoing work. Good luck!

Only you can decide if the risks are worth the payoff. It is especially acute when you are self pay, which I understand because I also was self pay. I'm also afraid of GERD, but the risk for me is worth the payoff. But, I have many weight related issues and knew the surgery was key for me making a major change. I needed to in order to literally save my life and make it past 60. I also wasn't comfortable with bypass, so I am taking a calculated risk. I know that GERD is a serious risk, but will deal with that if it comes. I'll be honest - if I were your BMI I am not sure what my choice would have been but this choice is so individual it is hard to give good advice. I would definitely have a frank and honest conversation with your surgical team regarding potential risks vs. payoff. If you still are nervous, then I wouldn't do it. Maybe give yourself time to process things, and reassess in a few months. This surgery really requires that you are mentally ready for it, so if you aren't, don't do it. Good luck!

I've lost a ton of hair, but it is thinning and not bald patches. It is noticeable to me and my hair stylist, but not to most people. I think the visible impact depends a lot on what your hair situation is going into surgery. I had very thick hair, so while it is now thinner (and obviously so to me, especially when I notice how oily my hair gets after not washing it for a few days and also when I am putting it in a ponytail) most people can't tell. I'm now about 7 months out and the hair loss has slowed. I just got 6 inches cut off the ends to bring it to my shoulders, and it looks really nice. So, there is a lot you can do to help with volume with a different cut, if that is a concern. My stylist confirmed that new growth is coming in at the roots again, because it is thicker there than at the mid-shaft and ends. A plus side? The new shorter length and thinner face has people commenting on how much younger I look. I'll take that! just edited to add: I always met my protein, food, vitamin, and fluid goals from the beginning, so you can do all the right things and have hair loss. It is luck of the draw, I think.

The test should show it. When I had my heart issue, people were downgrading my concerns - even with my family history of heart issues - and telling me it was anxiety. When I finally went to the cardiologist, he was aghast no one confirmed I didn't have a heart attack months prior. Thankfully, the tests showed I did not, though I did/do have other significant heart issues. Anyway, I would not panic. The diagnosis code is probably partly so they can justify the test with insurance - the EKG probably indicates evidence of a possible heart attack, and thus is to check for whether that is true or not. My mom had an EKG suggest she had a heart attack, and the follow ups showed she did not - she "just" has heart damage from uncontrolled high blood pressure. Good luck. Worst case scenario, even if you had an old heart attack, it's better to know now and they can work around it to make sure you are healthy in the future.

Two months out from surgery I'd lost just under 30 lbs (does not include what I lost pre op) and I am significantly heavier than you. I think you are doing great. I know we all come out of surgery wanting weight to just disappear instantaneously, but that's not how it works. Have you connected with your program in terms of where you are with calories, protein, etc? If you are exercising a lot, you may also need to consult with them on their preferred protein and calorie intake while doing intense exercise. Mine advises to increase calories when engaging in intense exercise. I'm not low carb, because my program doesn't emphasize it (they push balanced eating, though obviously protein is the preference at all times).

OMG, that injection is disconcerting. I was having heart issues a few years ago and they couldn't have me do the treadmill myself so they did the injection. It does resolve quickly but it is a weird, weird feeling. The actual imaging part is pretty easy other than having to hold positions for extended periods of time. Good luck!

I'm about 7 months out and I feel like this still happens on the regular. I just have learned that it is okay to leave food behind (a hard lesson when you were always told to clean your plate) and it's ok if I can eat more one day, and less another. The gremlin (my stomach) is always the final decision maker in these matters!

This part stressed me out until I calculated where I was at 3 months and realized I am now at 7ish months and am more than double that amount now. Phew! I am trying hard to not think about time and just focus on what I need to do for as long as I can. But this was a good video - thanks for sharing @GreenTealael I like the idea of best weight vs focusing on BMI "ideal weight."

I waited about 2 months to get back to working with my trainer. Honestly, the first month exercise was the last thing on my mind, so I just went on walks. Then my energy started to build and I easily got back into it. I didn't feel weak after the first month or so, but I wanted to make sure my incisions were all well healed before I jumped back into exercise.

I did self pay in the Washington, DC area. I got a sleeve. I consulted with 3 places. I wound up going with a good program that was $19k (give or take) for the whole package, but it varied from hospital to hospital. If I had gone with the "big name" hospital in DC, I would have paid at least $26k for the same procedure (roughly, their communication sucked and I suspect my quoted number wasn't very accurate. I don't recall what the 3rd price option was. Price wasn't my driving factor - I liked the practice I went to best after the consults - but it was an added bonus. I don't remember what the bypass prices were. Anyway, the amount covered most things except additional pre-op testing like the endoscopy, chest x-ray, etc. I'd be careful about pre-op bloodwork. I wound up having to pay more than I should have if I had gone to LabCorp or Quest Diagnostics myself with the lab orders instead of getting them done at the hospital where my surgeon is based. The agreement included the surgeon fees, hospital stay for a routine procedure (up to two nights), anesthesia, all the random testing they do as a patient (i.e., bloodwork and such while admitted), food (haha more like broth and water), and follow up appts for a certain timeframe (I think a year, maybe 2?) It was all laid out in my self pay agreement. Honestly, it is the best $19k I have ever spent.

All of this, right here. My relationship with food is so different. I can walk away from things I never could have resisted before. Again, I'm still in the honeymoon period, but it has been so liberating for me. Also, I just realized @Splenda is my surgery twin. 🙂

It is a difficult decision, and I can understand going back and forth. I certainly did, and I was very worried about all the things that could go wrong. Honestly, I wish I did this years ago now. The time I spent telling myself I could do it on my own could have been spent losing weight and living life happier. Having said that, I wasn't in the right place mentally before, and I certainly wouldn't have been ready to have success. I'm still in the honeymoon period right now, and I know things will get harder as time goes on, but I feel a sense of hopefulness which I rarely felt any other time I've been losing weight. I don't obsess about food, other than worrying if I will get to my calorie goal or not (when have I ever had to work to eat more, vs less?) It is also ok for you to be ready to do the surgery, and for your husband to not be ready. He may still be in the "I'm not sure stage." That's fine, but you are different people. You have to do what's right for you, whether that is doing it now or waiting and seeing what happens.