Queen ApisM

I still eat every three-four hours and I am basically 10ish months out. I can't get close to my calorie goals if I don't, even with increased amounts at each meal versus where I was at two or three months out. Having said that, early on as long as I was hitting my protein and fluid goals, that's what I focused on most. I don't think I was eating 6x a day - more like 4 + a shake.

Oh this happened to me. I was self pay, and then they were charging me for some sort of pathology which should have been included, I tried to get that taken care of, and then I received a bill for $32,000. 🤨 The billing department was useless and made it worse, so I went straight to my surgeon's office and they put the kibosh on it way faster than I could. I'd reach out to your surgeon's office, esp if there is someone there you dealt with for payment and logistics, and see if they can help.

This is so incredibly sad. My heart goes out to you. The medical community often discounts patients based on their biases - if you are woman, your age (too old or too young), if you are a person of color, if you look different, if you are overweight, whatever it may be that doesn't fit their perfect mindset. At my heaviest, I started having difficulty walking without losing breath. My dad had congestive heart failure, so I freaked out and went to urgent care. The lady tried to tell me it was allergies. Allergies! My legs were swollen, which is one symptom, but that had also been happening for a very long time (previously disclosed to primary, who told me to 'put my feet up more') due in part to my blood pressure meds. Still, allergies was what I was told. No instinct to look further and consider that this was something serious, esp given family history. Fast forward to a month later, allergy meds aren't helping, and I go to my primary. I had to meet with the PA, and some random student assistant. The assistant told me I needed to exercise more. You know, when I can't breathe walking down the hallway - when I typically could do a 45 min hard workout with a trainer, even at nearly 400 lbs - I should totally be getting to the gym to deal with that not breathing thing. They then tried to tell me it was anxiety. My EKG was fine, other than a high heart rate, but they referred me to a cardiologist because of my family history. Cardiologist was appalled by everyone and the fact no one took me seriously. He did, and we quickly realized I have dilated cardiomyopathy. He got me on a great med regimen and after a few tough months, I saw rapid improvement. He was the one who really pushed me to consider WLS, though he gave me time to get there emotionally and mentally. I lost weight on my own after all this happened, but couldn't keep it off, which is why I am where I am now. Thank goodness for that man. I'd be dead without him, because no one was listening when I knew something was very wrong.

I had something like this... it sort of ran across where I assume the suture line was. Didn't happen all the time, but when it did it was uncomfortable. It stopped within the first week. I found warm liquids went over better - my fave was warm bone broth!

Oh, gosh, the super nose. My sense of smell was ridiculous for the first 3-4 months. It has backed off a bit in the past few months. It still more sensitive than it was in the beginning. I basically turned into a bloodhound and could smell everything.

There is a lot of advice re: the scale and weight issue. Talk to your center and see what they have to say/think. I'm going to focus on something else: I weighed your starting weight at my wedding, and I looked flipping amazing. It was my wedding. I was marrying the man I love and who loves me. All my family and friends were there and they were all happy for me. I look at pictures from then, and somehow, I do not complain that I looked fat, even though I certainly was still obese. I normally hate most pictures of myself, but I don't feel that way about my wedding because all I can is the happiness from the day and just revel in the happy memories. I am so excited just to get BACK to my wedding weight, much less lower than that. I say this not to center attention on me, or make you feel bad, but to make the point that you shouldn't fixate on a certain number to make you beautiful or worthy for your wedding. You will have a beautiful day. Clearly, someone loves you and wants to marry you at your original weight, much less at your current one or some future one. Perhaps focus on that, because stressing over a number before your wedding isn't going to increase the likelihood of hitting that goal. In fact, quite the opposite.

Prior to surgery I was working with a trainer 2x a week for many years. We did a combo of strength training (sometimes with heavy weights), balance, cardio, flexibility. At 2 weeks out, I could not have handled hard workouts. I did start walking more and focused on that for my exercise for the first two months, until I could get up to 800-1000 calories consistently. My program wanted us to be active as soon as possible, but did not want us doing hard workouts if we were not getting at minimum, 800 cals, and ideally more than that. In fact, I’m now 9/10 months out and that calorie expectation is more like 1500 cals on workout days (a bit less, like 1300, is ok on non-workout days). Having said that, I think going hard at 2 weeks post op is unwise. You are still healing inside for quite a while still. You aren’t taking in many calories and it is incredibly hard to do so even if you want to. Maybe focus on easy movement, like walking more, for a while longer. Once your cals increase and you are further into recovery, you can expand your horizons with exercise. For me, that was around 2 months. I scaled back what I’d been doing previously (mostly using slightly lighter weights and we were careful with the ab work for a while) but I quickly was back to where I was. Personally, I’m not just exercising for weight loss. It’s to strengthen my heart, keep my muscles in good shape, strengthen my bones, release stress and tension. I absolutely would never wait to get to or close to goal to start exercising. There are so many important things that come from exercise that have nothing at all to do with weight loss.

I weigh myself most mornings, nekkid, after peeing. Usually first thing after I get up. When I hit a rough stall, I won't do it every single day. I assess whether it is doing more harm than good and decide accordingly. But, I only "count" the weight that is on the anniversary of my surgery. I track all the weights in Baritastic, but the official weight in my weekly spreadsheet is Monday's weight (or Tuesday if I am out of town that weekend). Every day is not for everyone, but I find it helps keep me on target. And, back in the olden days when I didn't weigh daily I would go off the deep end and then gain 10 lbs or whatever it would be. I'm not concerned about doing that now, but I'm trying to prepare myself for the long term and what I know helps keep me honest. It's a very personal decision, since we are all wired differently.

I drank a lot of bone broth - it is another way to get in protein in liquid form, and I loved it during liquid stage and throughout all the early stages. It has more protein (9-10g) per cup than typical broth. There are many different brands out there, some flavored. My tummy liked warm liquids best, so it went down a lot easier than other protein items.

Agree with this. I started the shakes once I got home. I did find pouring into 1 oz cups made it easier. It also took forever to finish each one.

My stats aren't quite the same as yours, but when I had surgery, I was 375. I think my BMI was 60 at surgery. I had hypertension (well controlled with meds), insulin resistance, dilated cardiomyopathy (with reduced ejection fraction), and who knows what else. They all assumed I had sleep apnea too, even though I didn't have indicators for it. I'm not sure how high risk I would be considered, but I have no illusions that I was low risk in any way. I was terrified of complications, and made sure to have a will and advanced directive in place just in case. As self pay, I was even more terrified that complications would bankrupt us. I needed a super low dose of Xanax the night before surgery I was so scared. But, I knew that staying at my weight, with my issues, was absolutely a death sentence, so for me, the risks were worth taking. Even at elevated risk, the risks of staying this heavy were much higher. I agree with @Splenda - follow the surgeon's recommendations to the letter. Those blood thinner injections suck (not gonna lie, I had to do them for 14 days post surgery) but they are literal life savers, and us heavier folk are at greater risk. Between now and surgery, keep doing what you can to ensure you are as healthy as possible. Eat well, if you are on any meds, take them religiously, whatever it takes to get you in a good place physically and mentally. So far, this surgery has been amazing. I feel fabulous and for once, I have hope of meeting my goals, or at least getting damned close. Good luck!

Also, I meant to also say - does your practice have a nutritionist? If so, you may want to ask them about additional guidance. They can be really helpful in figuring out if you are on track for calories, etc. Initially (the first couple of months) my practice did not give calorie goals, but in my nutrition check ins, we did touch base on how many calories I was eating. That was really helpful, especially since I was undereating relative to what they wanted. I wouldn't overthink this. If you go back in 3 months and you aren't where you "should" be, you won't get demerits. 🙂 Your body will do what it wants, when it wants. Stalls and slow downs are normal and to be expected in this process. It is very easy to make yourself nuts overthinking and stressing about whether you are hitting all the milestones and expectations. In the end, does it matter if you get to the destination? Probably not. (I say all this while in the middle of a frustrating 4 week stall. It's hard to do, but try not to stress, it doesn't help!) Good luck.

28 lbs in 6 weeks is more than 4 lbs a week. That's nothing to be upset about. Weight loss is fast initially, partly because you tend to lose a lot of water weight and you are do restricted initially as you recover from surgery. It will probably slow down as the months pass, but again, this isn't a race. If you get to 6 months and you haven't lost "most of the weight" it's not as if there is a magic switch that is flipped and you stop losing weight. Many people lose weight steadily for 18 months and beyond, though it slows down as you get closer to your goal weight. Excess weight is what you started at minus what you should be at, and most use the BMI as the guide for that. So, if you are 5 ft 1 inch, your healthy range is 98-132 lbs. Excess weight should be 238 (start weight at surgery) minus 132 (top of healthy range). So, your excess weight would around 106 lbs. I think the literature I read suggested the average lost in the first 6 months is around 30-40% of your excess weight, which would be 106 lb x 30% = 31.8 lbs, but I am not sure how accurate that percentage is. Again, these are rough numbers and the averages are just that - averages. Many people do better than this in 6 months. Some do worse. Some people lose "slowly" throughout and get to goal and beyond, while some people might lose fast initially and then not get to goal. Basically, no one can predict how it will go, including the surgeons.

My gremlin is very talkative. Last night, it was very vocal during my evening tea drinking. It was worse immediately post surgery but definitely still noisy 8-9 months out. This is the new normal!

If it makes you feel any better, I am currently in a 4 week stall. I'm staying in the right calorie range (that has worked for me and my program espouses), am exercising, and basically doing everything right but I have been just hanging out in the same 2 lbs range the whole time, just shy of my 100 lb loss milestone. So. Frustrating. Just hang in there and keep doing what you know is right and has been successful. Maybe change something up to see if shocks your system a bit, but don't go overboard. This is all a complete head game. Your body will do what it wants... when it wants. I've found looking at other success measures (measurements, non-scale victories) can really help me get through these times. I feel your pain and totally empathize.

I think I was at 1000-1200 calories at 3 months out and that was encouraged by my practice. My point is to say, if you are losing weight, it's not necessarily bad to be taking in 1200 calories. If you aren't losing weight, it could just be a stall - even at 1200 calories, you are probably in a calorie deficit unless you are really close to your goal weight, which is unlikely given you are only 3 months from surgery.

I had a company event not long after my surgery. I just told them I had food restrictions post operation. I didn't tell anyone what kind of surgery it was, but there were no questions and everyone was cool about it. It depends on how much they know, I guess. Everyone on my team knew I was out for surgery, though I never got into specifics. When asked, I just said gastrointestinal - a true statement, but also vague enough it could be anything as far as they knew, and that I had restrictions during the healing process. These were all pretty new colleagues and none were personal friends, so maybe they would have asked more questions if they were close friends. Edited to add: You can always fake eating, if even saying the above is difficult. Put things on your plate, move them around. If there is anything you can eat, eat that and just play with the rest. Get a glass of wine and just never drink it.... that sort of thing.

I was extremely anxious before surgery, so the anesthesiologist (at my consult) suggested a Xanax the night before. I never had taken it before, so the surgeon's office prescribed a miniscule amount. It helped so much, even the next morning and I was cognitively fine. Does your physician's office have a PA or someone similar you can talk to and explain this that this is a regular prescription used to control anxiety? Perhaps they can run the trap lines with your surgeon and/or check with anesthesia. Obviously don't take anything without their ok, but it's not good going into surgery with high anxiety, either.

Ugh, I'm in one right now. Going on 4 weeks. It's the longest and most annoying one so far, and happened at about 8 months from surgery. I had a couple week one back in November and a few much shorter ones in between. However, I can say that while the weight is stalled this time around, I've lost inches. I'm telling myself this will pass, and maybe my body is taking time to settle in before we tackle the next 10-15 lbs. I'm just continuing to do what I have been doing, and trying not to get obsessed with it.

My pulse dropped immediately after surgery. I hadn't even lost much weight, and the resting rate dropped into the high 50s. It's stayed there, and my BPs definitely dropped quickly - I've had to cut back on two meds and I am sure I will get another cut when I go back in June.

I was self-pay as well, and it was never an issue at any of the practices I consulted with. Now, I will admit I was really stressed out about any complications happening since insurance probably wouldn't cover them but the risk of staying as overweight as I was at the time of surgery was definitely going to land me in the hospital at some point. Definitely talk to other practices and see what they say.

I think it was around 3 weeks for me... I had that clear gel over my incisions, so I was waterproof! At least that's what the doctor used to tell me. 🙂 My surgery was in mid-August, and I know I got in the pool one more time before it closed down for the season, which would have been around Labor day or the week after.

I noticed right after surgery that my legs were super sore on even on short walks. Now, I wasn't exactly a marathon runner before surgery, but I also wasn't completely sedentary so it was really strange! It stopped after a few weeks. Not sure if that helps, but I wouldn't worry much since it is also achy soreness. I think surgery just takes a lot out of your body in ways you don't expect.

I know that WLS can trigger anxiety and depression, but I have to say it has been the opposite for me. I've pretty much lived my entire life with low level depression (unmedicated) that would devolve into deeper, uglier episodes periodically. In the past decade or so, I also dealt with anxiety, again unmedicated. All my treatment was therapy for both. My anxiety before surgery was through the roof. My depression and anxiety have been much improved post surgery. In the first few months immediately afterward, I definitely had wild mood swings (still do) but the depression and anxiety have been much more manageable. And, that's with some serious stressors during that post surgery timeframe - best friend dying of COVID and our dog dying. It was very surprising to me. Of course, the medication piece is one I cannot comment on, as I didn't have to deal with it, and it is another dimension to the puzzle. I would definitely talk with your doctors and have a plan for how to deal with the depression and anxiety post surgery. Perhaps having that plan thought through together will help you with decision making.

@Splenda gave great advice and that's how I am approaching it. I have had a few people comment that I look great. Since they aren't people I prefer to share my business with (they are work acquaintances), I just say that I have been focusing on me and getting healthy. They haven't pried and just were encouraging about keeping it up. They may suspect surgery, but I don't care. My plan for anyone who finds out it is WLS and has a negative opinion is to basically tell them that once they become my physician, they can have an opinion on my medical decisions, and until then, they don't get that privilege.