tairyn123

so i have my consultation on sept 2nd. its been a hell of month since i decided to begin this journey. my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me, and while we are still friends and trying to work this out it has been hell. that coupled with my full time job getting busier and busier and all of my school responsibilities i am at my limit. anyways, i am trying to focus on myself through all this mess. i am excited to take the first step!!!

i am still in the process of contacting doctors and insurance and evrything but i just wanted to get out why i want to do this. first all of my health. i dont really have any health problems yet that are diagnosed. My boyfriend has told me i stop breathing in my sleep but i have never been sleep apnea diagnosed. some days i get scared my heart will just give up on my. when i cant catch my breath or slow my heart rate. because i hate being afraid of more than one flight of stairs because i hate being afraid of going out with friends or family. what if we get put in a booth and i dont fit. what if the chairs have arms and they squeeze my thighs so tight all night long i get bruises (this has happend) because i want to wear the clothes i want to wear and have them fit the right way. because i dont want to be treated differently, whether in a mean way or an overly accommodating way. because i dont want to limit my life in any way. i want to be able to do everything and try anything. because i want to see the face that is hiding under all the fat mostly because i have a calling to be a massage therapist. to facilitate healing in people with my therapeutic touch. i am 10 months into a 22 month licensing program and it has not been easy. my weight makes endurance as a therapist hard. i sweat and my back hurts excruciatingly i dont think at my weight i will ever be able to do the 4 or 5 hour massages a day i would need to support myself financially. so that is why i am starting the progress now so that i can hopefully schedule my surgery after i graduate next july. anyways thanks for listening. i believe this journey will be much easier with you guys on here encouraging me and being right there next to me.. tairyn lovepeacebe

I am in the decision making process right now about the band. I have been a vegetarian for 5 years. i am just wondering if there are any other vegetarian bandsters and how they have fared. what did you eat? any ideas or tips? i know protein is really important afterwards..... just wondering!!!

I am still in the decision making process....i am nervous but open. i am hoping to get some answers and research through this site while i make this big and important decision. hi everyone!!!!!