lellow

I am committed to me being my best. This means I will not:
 
- Reward myself with food. I love food, and I love beautiful tasting food, but it's not a reward, I am not a dog. I have to maintain a healthy relationship with food, which means I can enjoy it without it being the centre of my life.
 
- Forgot that that for most people, achieving 'fullness' at every meal is not their goal. This is something I realised just recently. My partner is not a big guy, and he stops eating when he's no longer hungry. I have spent my whole life stopping only when I'm full. This is a FUNDAMENTAL difference between us, and the reason I have struggled with my weight all my life. But not any more.
 
- Tell myself I don't have time. If I can find time to be there for others, I can find time to be there for me. Whether it's exercising, sitting on the couch reading a book, or just doing what I want to do instead of what someone else wants to do. In this way, I nourish myself and allow myself to be a better person for everyone around me.
 
- Focus on being skinny instead of being healthy. This is important - I got to a BMI of 21 at one stage, and my ribs were showing and my hip bones stuck out. I had no muscle tone to speak of. That's not healthy. My BMI is 24 now and I get sick less, I feel strong, and I feel womanly. My body fat percentage is lower now than when my BMI was 21. I was so focussed on losing, I was losing sight of why I did this, which was to be healthy.
 
- Hate my body. It has borne 4 beautiful kids, and my eldest is now 23 and watching how women hate their bodies and themselves in the process. That's not a lesson I want my daughter to learn. I have parts of me that I don't like, that's just human nature and it's silly to pretend I could stop doing that, and that's actually ok in small doses, but I will not hate my whole self. I am beautiful, whether I was big or small, and I am the same person on the inside. And I will value that, even if society may not (yet).
 
- Compare myself to others. This is part of the above point too. Envy is a nasty, self-destructive thing. "I wish I was younger, prettier, smarter, thinner, richer". I now say "I want to be happy" and to do that, I need to stop hurting myself by wishing my life away and not seeing the things I should be thankful for.
 
- Sit by and do nothing. Counting my blessings doesn't mean I just sit by crying into my soup about the things in my life that make me unhappy either. I change what I can if it's important to me, don't change what isn't important and accept what I can't change. And know that no one is responsible for my happiness but me.
 
I'm writing this because in the last few years these ideas have formed in my head but I've never said them out loud in one place. Yet I think it's important for me now to see it in black and white. And while it's not just about me being a lapbander, but a person, I thought that this was a good place to put it.

I am committed to me being my best. This means I will not:
 
- Reward myself with food. I love food, and I love beautiful tasting food, but it's not a reward, I am not a dog. I have to maintain a healthy relationship with food, which means I can enjoy it without it being the centre of my life.
 
- Forgot that that for most people, achieving 'fullness' at every meal is not their goal. This is something I realised just recently. My partner is not a big guy, and he stops eating when he's no longer hungry. I have spent my whole life stopping only when I'm full. This is a FUNDAMENTAL difference between us, and the reason I have struggled with my weight all my life. But not any more.
 
- Tell myself I don't have time. If I can find time to be there for others, I can find time to be there for me. Whether it's exercising, sitting on the couch reading a book, or just doing what I want to do instead of what someone else wants to do. In this way, I nourish myself and allow myself to be a better person for everyone around me.
 
- Focus on being skinny instead of being healthy. This is important - I got to a BMI of 21 at one stage, and my ribs were showing and my hip bones stuck out. I had no muscle tone to speak of. That's not healthy. My BMI is 24 now and I get sick less, I feel strong, and I feel womanly. My body fat percentage is lower now than when my BMI was 21. I was so focussed on losing, I was losing sight of why I did this, which was to be healthy.
 
- Hate my body. It has borne 4 beautiful kids, and my eldest is now 23 and watching how women hate their bodies and themselves in the process. That's not a lesson I want my daughter to learn. I have parts of me that I don't like, that's just human nature and it's silly to pretend I could stop doing that, and that's actually ok in small doses, but I will not hate my whole self. I am beautiful, whether I was big or small, and I am the same person on the inside. And I will value that, even if society may not (yet).
 
- Compare myself to others. This is part of the above point too. Envy is a nasty, self-destructive thing. "I wish I was younger, prettier, smarter, thinner, richer". I now say "I want to be happy" and to do that, I need to stop hurting myself by wishing my life away and not seeing the things I should be thankful for.
 
- Sit by and do nothing. Counting my blessings doesn't mean I just sit by crying into my soup about the things in my life that make me unhappy either. I change what I can if it's important to me, don't change what isn't important and accept what I can't change. And know that no one is responsible for my happiness but me.
 
I'm writing this because in the last few years these ideas have formed in my head but I've never said them out loud in one place. Yet I think it's important for me now to see it in black and white. And while it's not just about me being a lapbander, but a person, I thought that this was a good place to put it.

I was asked recently, if I ever would be satisfied with myself. I'm having lipo in a week, where I'm getting a little bit of contouring on the lovehandles and backfat left over from the body lift, and some fat taken from my inner thighs. It won't be drastic by any means, it's just a little bit of shaping, really, but despite telling very few people (non-banders) about it, the resounding feedback seems to be that there's something wrong with me, because I don't seem to be happy with myself.
 
And yet, I think that's never been further from the truth. I am actually happier with myself than I have ever been in my life. It's because I like myself that I'm not thinking twice about doing this for ME. The difference is, that where I used to think that if I didn't like something, I had to suck it up and suffer, because how I felt wasn't important in the scheme of things, now I don't. I don't like something, I change it. I think I approach things with moderation and I'm not going to end up being nipped and tucked until I look like an alien, so it's not like I have some addiction to plastic surgery, I just want to look as good as I possibly can.
 
My whole life, I looked after everyone else: my man, my kids, my parents, my friends. I always came last. I was brought up to feel selfish for thinking of myself.
 
The lapband changed all that. I learned one important lesson in the last 5 years of being banded:
 
If you love yourself, you will look after yourself, you will make time for yourself, you will make your needs AT LEAST equal to the needs of the people you love. And if you look after yourself, you're being the best person you can be for the people you love too, and more importantly, a good role model for what good self esteem looks like. And if you're not happy with something, change it, because no one will change it for you, and YOU are the only one who can take control of your life.
 
I'm amazed at how we are constantly told that considering our own needs is a selfish thing to do, and then people wonder why we suffer from low self esteem. Break the cycle. I am not asking you to be a heartless, mean-spirited person to others, I'm asking you to learn to love yourself. It's because I AM satisfied with myself and love myself that I can choose what I want to do to make me happy.

I was asked recently, if I ever would be satisfied with myself. I'm having lipo in a week, where I'm getting a little bit of contouring on the lovehandles and backfat left over from the body lift, and some fat taken from my inner thighs. It won't be drastic by any means, it's just a little bit of shaping, really, but despite telling very few people (non-banders) about it, the resounding feedback seems to be that there's something wrong with me, because I don't seem to be happy with myself.
 
And yet, I think that's never been further from the truth. I am actually happier with myself than I have ever been in my life. It's because I like myself that I'm not thinking twice about doing this for ME. The difference is, that where I used to think that if I didn't like something, I had to suck it up and suffer, because how I felt wasn't important in the scheme of things, now I don't. I don't like something, I change it. I think I approach things with moderation and I'm not going to end up being nipped and tucked until I look like an alien, so it's not like I have some addiction to plastic surgery, I just want to look as good as I possibly can.
 
My whole life, I looked after everyone else: my man, my kids, my parents, my friends. I always came last. I was brought up to feel selfish for thinking of myself.
 
The lapband changed all that. I learned one important lesson in the last 5 years of being banded:
 
If you love yourself, you will look after yourself, you will make time for yourself, you will make your needs AT LEAST equal to the needs of the people you love. And if you look after yourself, you're being the best person you can be for the people you love too, and more importantly, a good role model for what good self esteem looks like. And if you're not happy with something, change it, because no one will change it for you, and YOU are the only one who can take control of your life.
 
I'm amazed at how we are constantly told that considering our own needs is a selfish thing to do, and then people wonder why we suffer from low self esteem. Break the cycle. I am not asking you to be a heartless, mean-spirited person to others, I'm asking you to learn to love yourself. It's because I AM satisfied with myself and love myself that I can choose what I want to do to make me happy.

Very little riding this week, but in my travels I ran across a Perl Izumi Outlet store (High end biking clothes) and look what I found on the clearance racks. Now, I like bright but this was a bit much even for me. Two things convinced me: 1. 200.00 off list price. 2. Wolf whistles from my wife and and the fact that I had to promise I wouldn't just wear it for biking. :wub:

My last band took a lot of fills to get me into the green zone. 8.5cc in a 10 cc band, and when I was leaking, it got up as high as 10cc.
 
With my first band, at 6cc, I couldn't even feel my band. And yet here I am now, at 6cc again with a new band, placed by a different dr, and I feel like I'm in the green zone.
 
Maybe because of my history I keep expecting it to disappear but it's been 4 days since my fill and I still feel like I can't eat more than a couple of poached eggs tops. I actually think it's not swollen or anything anymore, and I'm either at the green zone or close to it.
 
Also my hunger is almost completely gone, which is also another sign for me.
 
After 15 months of my band leaking, this feels almost too good to be true.

My last band took a lot of fills to get me into the green zone. 8.5cc in a 10 cc band, and when I was leaking, it got up as high as 10cc.
 
With my first band, at 6cc, I couldn't even feel my band. And yet here I am now, at 6cc again with a new band, placed by a different dr, and I feel like I'm in the green zone.
 
Maybe because of my history I keep expecting it to disappear but it's been 4 days since my fill and I still feel like I can't eat more than a couple of poached eggs tops. I actually think it's not swollen or anything anymore, and I'm either at the green zone or close to it.
 
Also my hunger is almost completely gone, which is also another sign for me.
 
After 15 months of my band leaking, this feels almost too good to be true.

My last band took a lot of fills to get me into the green zone. 8.5cc in a 10 cc band, and when I was leaking, it got up as high as 10cc.
 
With my first band, at 6cc, I couldn't even feel my band. And yet here I am now, at 6cc again with a new band, placed by a different dr, and I feel like I'm in the green zone.
 
Maybe because of my history I keep expecting it to disappear but it's been 4 days since my fill and I still feel like I can't eat more than a couple of poached eggs tops. I actually think it's not swollen or anything anymore, and I'm either at the green zone or close to it.
 
Also my hunger is almost completely gone, which is also another sign for me.
 
After 15 months of my band leaking, this feels almost too good to be true.

My last band took a lot of fills to get me into the green zone. 8.5cc in a 10 cc band, and when I was leaking, it got up as high as 10cc.
 
With my first band, at 6cc, I couldn't even feel my band. And yet here I am now, at 6cc again with a new band, placed by a different dr, and I feel like I'm in the green zone.
 
Maybe because of my history I keep expecting it to disappear but it's been 4 days since my fill and I still feel like I can't eat more than a couple of poached eggs tops. I actually think it's not swollen or anything anymore, and I'm either at the green zone or close to it.
 
Also my hunger is almost completely gone, which is also another sign for me.
 
After 15 months of my band leaking, this feels almost too good to be true.

My last band took a lot of fills to get me into the green zone. 8.5cc in a 10 cc band, and when I was leaking, it got up as high as 10cc.
 
With my first band, at 6cc, I couldn't even feel my band. And yet here I am now, at 6cc again with a new band, placed by a different dr, and I feel like I'm in the green zone.
 
Maybe because of my history I keep expecting it to disappear but it's been 4 days since my fill and I still feel like I can't eat more than a couple of poached eggs tops. I actually think it's not swollen or anything anymore, and I'm either at the green zone or close to it.
 
Also my hunger is almost completely gone, which is also another sign for me.
 
After 15 months of my band leaking, this feels almost too good to be true.

See, unlike a new bander, I know how good the green zone is to me. It's like those first few weeks after surgery when you don't feel hungry, have no desire to eat, can't imagine eating. That's what my green zone is like.
 
But I also know it took ages to get there the first time. I got to 8.5cc in a 10cc band to get to that point. At 4cc, which is what I have in my band now, I felt nothing. I feel nothing now.
 
I know my surgeon doesn't want to go too fast with the fills. He put in 2cc the last fill and I know that's aggressive, and I understand that it's a sensible thing to do to go slowly. It's a new band, I may have a different green zone, so he doesn't want to just throw 7cc in like they did after my body lift.
 
But it's killing me, the hunger. It's so freaking pervasive.
 
And doesn't it now make complete sense that I used to be big? My boyfriend eats the same amount as me and 2 hours later I'm hungry while he's still coasting. This ISN'T my head. I know better. I lived in my green zone for 3 years. Unless I eat to the brim I'm going to be hungry 2 hours later. So I used to eat way too much to feel as 'full' as my boyfriend does and for as long as he does on half the food.
 
In the green zone, I ate 1/3 what he eats and it lasted 4 hours at least.
 
I'm eating healthy and am exercising to maintain my weight now but it's HARD. No wonder people fall off wagon. It's bloody miserable! It wasn't this hard before.
 
This is why I love being banded. I know it works and works well once you have the right fill level in your band. I miss that feeling so much and I am hanging out to get there!

I must be nuts. My boyfriend keeps reminding me how miserable I was in the week after my band replacement 4 weeks ago. But honestly I don't care. Or I don't remember!
 
I came into a little bit of money and I want to get lipo done. Even at my lowest weight (BMI of 21) I had pockets of fat that wouldn't go away - my inner thighs, my love handles (above my body lift scar) and upper back fat (near my bra line). I remember trying to lose more and more trying to get rid of those spots and while I did manage to reduce them, they were never really 'gone' and the rest of me was looking VERY thin, as in "you could see my ribs clearly in the valley of my cleavage" thin.
 
So I've made some decisions - I like the weight I'm at now, a BMI of 24. I look voluptuous, womanly and healthy. I want to stay looking like that. But I want to get those stubborn pockets of fat out. Contour this body so it doesn't look lumpy, like it always did until I got way too thin.
 
I have tossed this up over and over the last few days. I know it's about vanity. I know I look good for my age (43) and am fit and healthy, and to spend that sort of money on me again seems, I don't know, a bit indulgent.
 
But then I think - why not? The money came from my hard work. Some of it is going to paying some money off our mortgage off and doing stuff around the house, boring stuff like that. Why can't I spend some of it on me? Plus, as I've always said when people ask me how I justified the WLS and the body lift and the breast augmentation, that most people spend more than I have on a luxury car they drive for a couple of hours a day. I drive this body 24/7, so why shouldn't I spend that money on it?
 
The boyfriend is worried about me going under the knife again quite so soon, so while I have a consult with a PS on Tuesday, I'm thinking of waiting for a couple of months before I go ahead. But I won't lie, if he says it's no problem to do it now, I'd probably go ahead! Lol!
 
No pain, no gain. With weight loss and everything else.

In fact I'm pretty much feeling 100% now. My port incision still hurts a little but that's the extent of my discomfort of late. I'm even back to wearing the jeans that I couldn't quite get into earlier this year. This pic is of me in those very jeans TODAY.
 
I did my post op appt early too, by one week, because I can't make it next week. So I saw my surgeon yesterday, two weeks post band replacement. He was SO pleased with how I was healing, weighed me (I've officially lost 4kgs since he last saw me) and he put 4cc into my 10cc band to 'start me off'. I'm nowhere near my green zone but I'm feeling a tiny bit of restriction and you know what feels amazing? It's NOT disappearing, like it always did with my leak.
 
I'm so hopeful for the future now. I'm not even stressing about getting back to the green zone. I didn't have much to lose to get back to my stable weight of 60kgs but I'm already at 65kgs 2 weeks out of surgery so if I don't lose anymore now, I'd be perfectly happy. As long as I don't have to struggle not to gain, I'd be happy!
 
So regrets? No, not anymore.

So it turns out I might have been having a reaction to my painkillers this entire time, and that's what was causing the overwhelming nausea.
 
Tramadol. Not quite an opiate which is why it was prescribed to me, because this little duck is allergic to opiates. Except it made me nauseous because the number one adverse effect of Tramadol is, low and behold, nausea.
 
I took that little pill every freaking night. And woke up the next day feeling like death. Not last night though, and today I feel SO SO SO much better!
 
So I'm praying that that was it, and I can go back to being human now. Maybe I might even be able to go back to work tomorrow!
 
*happy dance*
 
And can I say, in the absence of nausea, that I'm feeling otherwise pretty damned fine.

I'm 10 days post band replacement and today I returned to work, to start with a new client for my company.
 
Maybe it was because it was a new client and I'm very much in the 'must impress' mode that I ignored the lingering nausea and pain and took myself off there this morning.
 
I brought my hot water bottle with me as a concession though and it provided me with a good segway to explain to my client that I had recently had abdominal surgery. He was lovely and said he wasn't in a rush to start, would I prefer a few more days at home. No, silly me, I said I was fine and was fully intending to soldier on.
 
Well within an hour it wasn't looking so rosy. My port incision was throbbing from sitting upright and the nausea came back hard and fast. The client took one look at me and decided I was going home.
 
Except by this time I was unsteady on my feet (and trying hard not to dry retch) so it ended up that someone had to drive me and my car home with the client following behind in his car.
 
I'm in bed now but to be honest I'm not sure that I'm not feeling terrible just from the embarrassment. They've pushed back my start date to Wed but depending on how I feel it may be even later than that. I feel AWFUL! For me and the client.
 
Oh well at least it means I have been able to make an appt to see my surgeon this afternoon about my symptoms....

I've had a lot of surgeries. Initial lapband surgery, a torsoplasty, breast augmentation, 2 port revisions and now, finally, a band replacement. So pain and feeling horrible is something I can put up with, because I know it's for a greater good.
 
But this nausea might have me beat. It's day 3 of it with last night being the worst. I spent a lot of the night dry retching and feeling like absolute crud. I alternated between goosebumps and convulsing and then shivering and burping then dry retching all over again. When I did sleep I had nightmares.
 
I've lost 7lbs in the last week but I feel so awful that for the first time, I am regretting what I've given up for the weight loss. My 7yo son is visiting and is going home back to his dad tonight and all I can think of is how all he saw this week is his mum in pain or so sick she can't spend any time with him.
 
My partner is being awesome. He keeps reminding me that this is not just for today but what I needed to do for my quality of life in the future, but I guess right now, I can't see it. I can't see past how horrible I feel.
 
I've spoken to hospital and they've suggested medication to ease the nausea so I'm going to try that and hope I can salvage the rest of the day with my boy. I'm hoping that at least that regret, I will be able to work on.

I woke up this morning and I feel OH so much better than I have the last few days. I was starting to worry that I'd never feel ok again.
 
This surgery was harder than the initial surgery. It hurt more. It took more out of me. Mind you, I *am* almost 5 years older than I was then. Maybe that's it, maybe it's just coz I'm an old chook now lol.
 
I'm still on a liquid diet - full liquids, with the thickest thing I am having being yoghurt, and I'm doing it easily. I'm rarely hungry and this reminds me so much of when I was in my green zone, when I nearly never felt hungry. I have great hopes of getting there again now I have a new band in.
 
I've also lost almost 5lbs since surgery. I'm not trying to take that loss too seriously but, if I'm honest, I'm ridiculously happy because I've been so careful with my intake and exercise the last few months and not lost a measly lb without the band. This is why I went back to get a new band, because it works for me.
 
Next stop: the green zone. I have my first fill in a couple of weeks, and then hopefully it won't be too long until I'm back there again, and I can go back to happily living my life with my band like I did for the 3 years before the leak.
 
Fingers crossed.

In fact I'm pretty much feeling 100% now. My port incision still hurts a little but that's the extent of my discomfort of late. I'm even back to wearing the jeans that I couldn't quite get into earlier this year. This pic is of me in those very jeans TODAY.
 
I did my post op appt early too, by one week, because I can't make it next week. So I saw my surgeon yesterday, two weeks post band replacement. He was SO pleased with how I was healing, weighed me (I've officially lost 4kgs since he last saw me) and he put 4cc into my 10cc band to 'start me off'. I'm nowhere near my green zone but I'm feeling a tiny bit of restriction and you know what feels amazing? It's NOT disappearing, like it always did with my leak.
 
I'm so hopeful for the future now. I'm not even stressing about getting back to the green zone. I didn't have much to lose to get back to my stable weight of 60kgs but I'm already at 65kgs 2 weeks out of surgery so if I don't lose anymore now, I'd be perfectly happy. As long as I don't have to struggle not to gain, I'd be happy!
 
So regrets? No, not anymore.

In fact I'm pretty much feeling 100% now. My port incision still hurts a little but that's the extent of my discomfort of late. I'm even back to wearing the jeans that I couldn't quite get into earlier this year. This pic is of me in those very jeans TODAY.
 
I did my post op appt early too, by one week, because I can't make it next week. So I saw my surgeon yesterday, two weeks post band replacement. He was SO pleased with how I was healing, weighed me (I've officially lost 4kgs since he last saw me) and he put 4cc into my 10cc band to 'start me off'. I'm nowhere near my green zone but I'm feeling a tiny bit of restriction and you know what feels amazing? It's NOT disappearing, like it always did with my leak.
 
I'm so hopeful for the future now. I'm not even stressing about getting back to the green zone. I didn't have much to lose to get back to my stable weight of 60kgs but I'm already at 65kgs 2 weeks out of surgery so if I don't lose anymore now, I'd be perfectly happy. As long as I don't have to struggle not to gain, I'd be happy!
 
So regrets? No, not anymore.

In fact I'm pretty much feeling 100% now. My port incision still hurts a little but that's the extent of my discomfort of late. I'm even back to wearing the jeans that I couldn't quite get into earlier this year. This pic is of me in those very jeans TODAY.
 
I did my post op appt early too, by one week, because I can't make it next week. So I saw my surgeon yesterday, two weeks post band replacement. He was SO pleased with how I was healing, weighed me (I've officially lost 4kgs since he last saw me) and he put 4cc into my 10cc band to 'start me off'. I'm nowhere near my green zone but I'm feeling a tiny bit of restriction and you know what feels amazing? It's NOT disappearing, like it always did with my leak.
 
I'm so hopeful for the future now. I'm not even stressing about getting back to the green zone. I didn't have much to lose to get back to my stable weight of 60kgs but I'm already at 65kgs 2 weeks out of surgery so if I don't lose anymore now, I'd be perfectly happy. As long as I don't have to struggle not to gain, I'd be happy!
 
So regrets? No, not anymore.

So it turns out I might have been having a reaction to my painkillers this entire time, and that's what was causing the overwhelming nausea.
 
Tramadol. Not quite an opiate which is why it was prescribed to me, because this little duck is allergic to opiates. Except it made me nauseous because the number one adverse effect of Tramadol is, low and behold, nausea.
 
I took that little pill every freaking night. And woke up the next day feeling like death. Not last night though, and today I feel SO SO SO much better!
 
So I'm praying that that was it, and I can go back to being human now. Maybe I might even be able to go back to work tomorrow!
 
*happy dance*
 
And can I say, in the absence of nausea, that I'm feeling otherwise pretty damned fine.

I woke up this morning and I feel OH so much better than I have the last few days. I was starting to worry that I'd never feel ok again.
 
This surgery was harder than the initial surgery. It hurt more. It took more out of me. Mind you, I *am* almost 5 years older than I was then. Maybe that's it, maybe it's just coz I'm an old chook now lol.
 
I'm still on a liquid diet - full liquids, with the thickest thing I am having being yoghurt, and I'm doing it easily. I'm rarely hungry and this reminds me so much of when I was in my green zone, when I nearly never felt hungry. I have great hopes of getting there again now I have a new band in.
 
I've also lost almost 5lbs since surgery. I'm not trying to take that loss too seriously but, if I'm honest, I'm ridiculously happy because I've been so careful with my intake and exercise the last few months and not lost a measly lb without the band. This is why I went back to get a new band, because it works for me.
 
Next stop: the green zone. I have my first fill in a couple of weeks, and then hopefully it won't be too long until I'm back there again, and I can go back to happily living my life with my band like I did for the 3 years before the leak.
 
Fingers crossed.

I woke up this morning and I feel OH so much better than I have the last few days. I was starting to worry that I'd never feel ok again.
 
This surgery was harder than the initial surgery. It hurt more. It took more out of me. Mind you, I *am* almost 5 years older than I was then. Maybe that's it, maybe it's just coz I'm an old chook now lol.
 
I'm still on a liquid diet - full liquids, with the thickest thing I am having being yoghurt, and I'm doing it easily. I'm rarely hungry and this reminds me so much of when I was in my green zone, when I nearly never felt hungry. I have great hopes of getting there again now I have a new band in.
 
I've also lost almost 5lbs since surgery. I'm not trying to take that loss too seriously but, if I'm honest, I'm ridiculously happy because I've been so careful with my intake and exercise the last few months and not lost a measly lb without the band. This is why I went back to get a new band, because it works for me.
 
Next stop: the green zone. I have my first fill in a couple of weeks, and then hopefully it won't be too long until I'm back there again, and I can go back to happily living my life with my band like I did for the 3 years before the leak.
 
Fingers crossed.

I woke up this morning and I feel OH so much better than I have the last few days. I was starting to worry that I'd never feel ok again.
 
This surgery was harder than the initial surgery. It hurt more. It took more out of me. Mind you, I *am* almost 5 years older than I was then. Maybe that's it, maybe it's just coz I'm an old chook now lol.
 
I'm still on a liquid diet - full liquids, with the thickest thing I am having being yoghurt, and I'm doing it easily. I'm rarely hungry and this reminds me so much of when I was in my green zone, when I nearly never felt hungry. I have great hopes of getting there again now I have a new band in.
 
I've also lost almost 5lbs since surgery. I'm not trying to take that loss too seriously but, if I'm honest, I'm ridiculously happy because I've been so careful with my intake and exercise the last few months and not lost a measly lb without the band. This is why I went back to get a new band, because it works for me.
 
Next stop: the green zone. I have my first fill in a couple of weeks, and then hopefully it won't be too long until I'm back there again, and I can go back to happily living my life with my band like I did for the 3 years before the leak.
 
Fingers crossed.

I woke up this morning and I feel OH so much better than I have the last few days. I was starting to worry that I'd never feel ok again.
 
This surgery was harder than the initial surgery. It hurt more. It took more out of me. Mind you, I *am* almost 5 years older than I was then. Maybe that's it, maybe it's just coz I'm an old chook now lol.
 
I'm still on a liquid diet - full liquids, with the thickest thing I am having being yoghurt, and I'm doing it easily. I'm rarely hungry and this reminds me so much of when I was in my green zone, when I nearly never felt hungry. I have great hopes of getting there again now I have a new band in.
 
I've also lost almost 5lbs since surgery. I'm not trying to take that loss too seriously but, if I'm honest, I'm ridiculously happy because I've been so careful with my intake and exercise the last few months and not lost a measly lb without the band. This is why I went back to get a new band, because it works for me.
 
Next stop: the green zone. I have my first fill in a couple of weeks, and then hopefully it won't be too long until I'm back there again, and I can go back to happily living my life with my band like I did for the 3 years before the leak.
 
Fingers crossed.