Sandy104

I have always been big as far back as I can remember.  I do have a few photos of me around 4-5 where I looked like any average sized child.  So grade school must have been about right for the steady incline.  My yearly school photo showed the signs.  I couldn't do what other kids did.  I was on the outside of all the popular clicks. 
I was fun and smart and pretty, just not skinny in a world where skinny outnumbered me everywhere I looked.  Clothes, oh the horror.  I am 52 years old now and clothes in plus are everywhere but back then, 40 years ago?  Not so much.  I can remember wearing men's jeans in 6th grade.  UGLY men's jeans. 
So I never got the guy (or guys) I had crushes on.  I never went to prom.  I hung out with a few friends but now as an adult I don't have a BEST friend.   I don't have anyone I can look back on or call on that I can talk to.  I grew up, got a job, met my first husband.  Had 2 children, got divorced.  I just was not a happy person, although I was a funny person, I was not happy.  Then I felt like I failed.  Then I went through a phase where I wonder how I am not dead or in jail.  Partying, (no drugs, Lord I am smarter than that at least).
Then I met my current husband.  He gets me, he loves me, he's got my back.  We have been married now for 12 years.  3 grandchildren, soon to be 5.  We both tried to get WLS a few years ago but could not get insurance to pay for it.  I was under his ins.  Now I have my own ins, so although I have a prior auth letter, I am still waiting for the final word stating it's a GO.  Then maybe we can switch him over to my ins and see about him. 
So now I have appointments and driving into the big scary city, traffic OMG.  I just am not equipped.  I will be the slow driver everyone flips off.  lol.
So I had my first visit July 16th, then 3 monthly Dr visits.  Aug, Sept Oct.  then they say surgery about 6 weeks after the last appointment, plus other various dr check-off appointments.
My goals.  To be more spontaneous in life.  If I want to go somewhere, then GO.  Not have to worry if I cant fit in a plane, or a stadium seat.  To go live LIFE.  To get on the ground and then get back UP.  To play with my grandchildren, to plant a garden.