KSW22

Hi! I’m new to the forum but looking for words of encouragement from other people who might be going through what I am. I had gastric bypass surgery in 2004. Lost over 100 pounds for about a minute. Started going to eating disorder therapy to try and see why I had such an unhealthy relationship with food. My weight finally settled at 200-210lbs but of course I was never satisfied. Finally after having a complication after a shoulder replacement in July 2019 and then Covid hit, I am the heaviest I have ever been after surgery, 267. I have to almost starve myself to lose weight now. I feel defeated and know that revision is the best option for me now. I don’t want to waste another year of my life! So I keep asking myself, why will this time be different? Growing up and as a young adult, my father said that god put me in his life so he could have tolerance for fat people. My grandpa would ask me at a huge family dinner why I couldn’t be skinny like my friends and my grandma asked me why I I didn’t want to be model thin after giving me an entire bundt cake (I lived alone) to take home. As you can see I have not had the greatest support but also all of them have since passed away. I feel like this time I’m doing it for myself but am I just trying to convince myself? Let me know why YOU think it will or was different for YOU? Thanks for reading my very raw story.

I guess I will have to try something new now. I had my surgery Friday and they were unsuccessful doing the revision because of so much scar tissue from my perforated ulcer in 2012. He was able to repair my hiatal hernia but that’s all. Not sure how I’m feeling about it yet. I’m sure it will sink in sooner or later. Thanks for the reading references too.

I look forward to seeing your journey. Good luck

LisaMarrie, I appreciate your reply. Have you had your revision surgery yet? I am taking all your words in and have been thinking about this all morning. I have had mental health therapy along with my eating disorder and have worked on a lot of this in the past. I just sometimes doubt myself. If I already know what to do, why do I ignore myself? I am super grateful I have a loving husband and a best friend that both support my decision. My family is on board too but it’s my own shame of having to do this again that is difficult. I guess that’s another subject I can touch on but after 17 years of living with bypass surgery, I almost have to starve myself to lose any weight at all. Is that ring true for you too? It’s so hard to lose weight now that my stomach is stretched and having to eat 800 to 900 calories to lose weight makes for a very cranky lady. I just want to feel like this time it’s forever. I feel ready and want these thoughts I’m having are normal and others might have felt the same way. Make sense?

I am having a revision surgery and repair to hiatal hernia on 7/23. Start my clear liquid diet 7/20. Outpatient surgery which I’m happy about. Just worried about managing the pain. Good luck everyone.