allisong2

Like everyone else I am so glad I stumbled upon this sub-forum of the website - this is just what I needed today. I apologize in advance but this is going to be a lengthy post....probably more for me to just vent than anything else! :thumbup: My husband and I were both banded in July 2008. We have both struggled with our weight since we were in high school and both had success taking some off while we were single but obviously couldn't keep it off or we wouldn't have needed banding! Our being overweight is affecting our lives in every way possible and unfortunately, despite loving having someone who understands what I'm going through, we can at times be our own worst enemies. We decided that if we were going to have wls we were going to do it together so we could fight the struggles as a team. Despite all of that I wouldn't do it any other way and can't imagine if he hadn't had surgery the same time I did. Insurance paid for his but we had to pay for mine out of pocket so needless to say this wasn't an inexpensive decision and we thought that the added incentive of paying so much money might be the little extra push we needed to stay on track. Wrong. Here we are 1.5 years into it and he's lost a total of 45lbs (out of a goal of 80) and I've lost around 25 (out of a goal of 100). I know any weight gone is good but I can't help but be frustrated with how it's going. Everyone in our families know, all of our closest friends know, and quite a few people we work with know. And I know they wonder how the heck we are still fat after having weight loss surgery, watching us struggle with meals, throw up when we get stuck, and just be miserable day in and day out. It seems the only time either one of us lose is when we're too tight and can keep anything down. I lost the majority of my weight on my pre-surgery diet - that's sad. We finally decided to go back for a fill last week because it had been about 9 months since our last fill and we both knew we needed to be tighter. We put off going back to the doctor because of the disapproving looks we get when we're there. I don't feel like they are supportive of our struggles - their answer always is "you need to take smaller bites or you need to chew better or make better food decisions". They don't want to admit that we might be doing all of that and still struggling. I will be the first to admit that we haven't done everything that we're supposed to do. I don't exercise regularly (my husband does faithfully for 30+ minutes every day). I cheat when I haven't been able to eat because I'm hungry and I don't want to fight it. I have contemplated going some place else for follow up but I don't know that I can afford that so for now we're stuck. This being fat/obese/overweight or whatever you want to call it has affected our lives in more ways than we care to discuss. I want to have children but can't until I lose some weight. Getting pregnant isn't really a concern right now because neither of us have the desire for anything like that! We are both depressed, frustrated, angry, disappointed, and ready to throw in the towel. As my husband says - "I'd almost rather be fat and not fight eating than be thin and as miserable as I am right now". I keep trying to keep a positive attitude but it's SO hard when you see no results. I feel most days like it's a lost cause and that's discouraging to me becuase I've never been a quitter or failed at anything I've set my mind to. We've recommitted ourselves to the process and are going to give it another try - I don't really see that we have any other choice at this point. We can't stay this weight so something has to change. Anyway, I told you this would be a long post and I was right! I feel better being able to get this off my chest and to read others posts to know we're not alone. I know deep down this was the right decision but day to day "it's hard to see the forest for the trees". Thanks for "listening"... Allison G

Hi! I just wanted to introduce myself (and my husband). I am a 30 year old registered nurse who has struggled with my weight for my entire life. My husband is a 33 year old "computer dork" who has also struggled with his weight for longer than he can remember. We both were extrememly active in high school, and even into college, but of course that changed when we hit "real life". We have both lost weight and gained it back. But thankfully we are both getting banded next week - me on Monday 7/28 and him on 7/29!! One of the things that attracted us to each other and has kept us together is our experience with weight loss and gain. We can relate to one another and can be each other support (and unfortunately, each others worst enemy!!). But we are tired of the struggle of losing weight and not being able to keep it off. We have both FINALLY admitted to ourselves that we need help! As I said we are getting banded next week at the Institute for Advanced Bariatric Surgery, in Lenexa, Kansas, by Dr Wanda Kaniewski. We are SO excited! We are struggling through the dreaded 10 day liver-shrinking/liquid diet but are determined to get through it! I have been "lurking" around the site for several months now and decided I had better introduce myself. Thank you to everyone who has provided support to me (even though you don't even know it!). It's great to have some place to go and share triumphs and tribulations with people who understand! Wish us luck!!! :eek: ~~Allison