free101girl

It's not uncommon to have various bladder issues if you're obese -- it's caused by all the abdominal fat pressing down on your bladder. I know someone who had stress incontinence (slight urine leakage when coughing, sneezing, laughing, etc.) when she was at 300 lbs. It was horrible for her. Now that she's banded and weighs 225, she says the problem has gone away completely. It was actually one of the reasons she got banded.

Splenda has not been pulled off shelves. It has not been banned. It has not been shown to have any health effects at all. ONE lobbying group has asked the FDA to ban Splenda because they claim it may cause stomach pain: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060403/hl_nm/sweetener_dc_1 Some info about "Citizens for Health," the lobbying group that is trying to get Splenda banned: - It is primarily a lobbying organization for the dietary supplement industry. - The leaders are reportedly closely affiliated with a cult (the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and his followers.) - One source has linked them to Earth First! (ecoterrorism group) and reports they are avidly anti biotech. In short, I doubt this group has a hope in Hades of getting the FDA to do anything at all. They have no credibility in the scientific community. What they DO have is a good publicist, apparently...

Here's one that is good, easy and healthy. You can omit the peppers if you don't like them and add any other veggies you like instead, such as celery cut thinly on the diagonal, bite-sized broccoli pieces and/or pea pods. If you like spicy food, add 1/4-1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes when you are stir-frying the veggies. Sweet & Sour Chicken 2 tsp dark sesame oil 1 small onion, diced 1/2 each red, yellow and green bell peppers, cut into bite-sized pieces 1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite-sized pieces salt & pepper to taste 15 oz Mandarin oranges in light syrup 1/2 c. chicken broth 1 tbsp soy sauce 2 tsp cornstarch 2 green onion, sliced Heat 1 tsp oil in large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add bell peppers and onion to pan and stir-fry until softened and beginning to brown, about 5-6 minutes. Remove and set aside. Add second tsp oil to skillet. Season chicken with salt and pepper; add chicken to skillet and cook, turning occasionally, until golden (about 4 minutes). Add onions and peppers back to pan. Drain oranges and reserve 1/4 cup liquid. Whisk together orange liquid and cornstarch in small bowl until smooth, then add broth and soy sauce. Add liquid mixture to pan and simmer until sauce thickens and chicken is cooked through. Add oranges to skillet and allow them to warm in the sauce for a minute or so, but stir as little as possible to avoid breaking them up. Sprinkle with sliced green onion just before serving. 4 servings

Here's another take on the situation, for what it's worth. A common problem among overweight people is that we don't take good care of ourselves, either emotionally or physically. We tend to put the needs and desires of other people ahead of our own. We may put off our own needs and desires because they are "silly," "too expensive," "too indulgent," etc. Ironically, many of use food as our one and only way of "taking care of ourselves." It may feel like overeating is a cheap indulgence that hurts no one else. But of course this backfires on us in the long run. So -- maybe it's time to give yourself permission to put yourself FIRST. You deserve to be healthy and happy. If you can afford the surgery without MAJOR financial repercussions (having to put off buying a new house for an extra year doesn't count), I say do it. I have a fantastic, loving and supportive husband, but we don't always see eye-to-eye on everything. One thing I've learned is that if I just TELL him what I'm doing (not bossily, just matter-of-factly), without justifying or excusing it, he'll say "okay, good for you." If he sees I'm determined and my mind is made up, he just gets out of the way. It's your life. Only you can change it. I say "seize the day." Mary

Well, I think drinking more Water is a worthy goal for many of us, but I wouldn't kill yourself to do it. There is quite a bit of debate about how necessary it is to drink large amounts of water: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2002-08/dms-al080802.php

My husband and I met online. He is truly a wonderful, kind and understanding man and I would never have met him otherwise. We've been together 10 years, married for 6. After my husband's mom died, his dad (who was in his early 70s) met a terrific woman online and got remarried. So it really is possible to meet great people online and have the relationship work out!

Take this for what it's worth. I asked someone I know who is a nurse and banded (very pleased with the results, btw) why on earth the bariatric surgeons in my area aren't doing bands. I thought it might be because they are invested in a certain procedure and don't want to learn a whole new one. She disagreed. She knows several bariatric surgeons personally. She has seen the results for many people (friends and patients) who have had both bands and bypass. Her take on it was this: 1. Bypass costs more, so generates more fees for the doctor. (And for his hospital -- remember, many hospitals are owned by physician investor groups.) 2. Bypass produces very rapid and noticeable weight loss. Patients are thrilled (at least initially), which means the surgeon gets a lot of positive feedback from them. Also the huge change is great "advertising" for the surgeon. 3. Due to increased complications, there is lots more aftercare and follow-up surgery for bypass, which produces even more extra income for the doctor. 4. Many/most bariatric surgeons have some sort of financial relationship with a surgeon who does tummy tucks. TTs are pretty much inevitable with bypass due to the very rapid loss. I was kind of shocked at her cynicism, but I can't deny some of this makes sense. I'm sure many surgeons have their patients' best interests very much in mind, but in reality that has to compete with their own financial interests sometimes, I suppose. Mary

First post for me here. I've been lurking and reading randomly, including the entire "Why are YOU Fat?" thread, which had me sobbing -- I could relate to quite a bit of it. I've been overweight pretty much my whole life and downright fat for almost ten years. (I'm 5'4", 235 lbs, so roughly 100 lbs overweight and 40 BMI.) My mother was a health-food nut who didn't allow white sugar, white flour and many other "junk" foods in our household. She was extremely controlling about our food intake. Naturally junk food became the forbidden fruit and all of my adult life I have struggled with binging on certain foods (crackers, Cookies, ice cream). The thought of eating one Cheez-It and stopping is almost unthinkable. I'm likely to eat half a box. So I try not to keep such items in the house. Usually I eat a very healthy diet -- but too much of it. I eat almost no junk food or fast food because I know it's unhealthy and also I don't want to start a binge. But I consistently overeat "good" foods. There are many obese people in my family, including a beloved grandmother who helped me through a very tough childhood. I love to cook and eat. My very wonderful husband loves to cook and eat. Almost his entire family is obese. They are all fantastic cooks and their lifestyle revolves around food. I have gained 65 pounds in the 10 years I've been with my husband. (I would love to blame his family's evil influence, but no one was forcing all that delicious food down my throat!) My sister-in-law was banded about 2 years ago and despite being the most totally noncompliant patient imaginable (she lives on a 100% junk food diet, knows exactly how to get around her band and does so deliberately) she has lost 65-75 lbs, down from 300. Quite frankly this gives me hope! I'm fortunate in having no diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, etc, but I do have very bad knees that impact my life a great deal. We travel a lot and I'm always in pain because of the additional walking that entails. I've been told I will have to have total knee replacement in both knees eventually. I'm about 95% convinced that I need to get banded, but the decision is really wreaking havoc on me emotionally. I told my husband I wanted to do it, and he's very supportive. But since I decided, I've been crying non-stop. I'm just racked with a mishmash of emotions and thoughts: - denial (hey, I'm not THAT fat, am I?), but this is fading fast now that my BMI is 40 - wondering if I've "tried hard enough" yet, even though I've been dieting for more than 25 years (Weight Watchers, low-carb, low-fat) and always lose a little, gain a lot more back - self-hatred for allowing things to get to the point that I have to seek surgery - fear that it won't work (and just plain fear of surgery, pain, etc) - stress over trying to find the right surgeon and aftercare - probably some residual emotional crap to do with my bad childhood and its relationship with my obesity, which I really don't want to deal with I'm sure I'm not the only one who has gone through this. Please tell me I'm not! :nervous Thanks for "listening." It feels good to get it all out there. Mary

I've blocked out the bad stuff from childhood. I was always unathletic and a little pudgy, so I know other kids said some awful things to me in P.E., but I really can't remember them clearly now. I really don't remember anyone being mean to me since then. Well, except a stupid anorexic twit who fired me from a college journalism job because my being "fat" (I was maybe 20 lbs overweight at the time) bothered her. I wasn't embarrassed, though -- I was pissed. And I got a better job the next day. The embarrassment I've experienced has mostly been self-generated. (In other words, no one was calling me a fat pig except ME.) Three very recent experiences: 1. We took a cruise in the Caribbean last year. Instead of doing one of the ship's organized snorkeling excursions, I hired a young guy with a private sailboat to take my husband and me out to a secluded area for snorkeling. This was my idea, for three reasons: I wanted to enjoy a pristine coral reef; I had never snorkeled before and felt self-conscious about it; and (most important) I was embarrassed about being seen in a swimsuit in front of a big group. The snorkeling was great. I loved the reef, the beautiful fish and the wonderful feeling of weightlessless in the nice warm Water. And then I realized I had to get back in the sailboat, which had no ladder. That poor kid and my husband had to drag my lard ass up out of the water and nearly killed themselves doing it. I felt like a beached whale and I was horribly bruised where they had grabbed onto me, as well as all up and down my legs where they dragged me over the side. The overwhelming embarrassment almost destroyed what had been a beautiful experience up to that point. 2. Last weekend we took my niece and nephew up to a ski resort and all of us went "snow tubing." Tubing is perfect for out-of-shape people because unlike skiing it requires no athletic ability at all. You just sit your butt in a big inner tube and let gravity take over. It was very exhilarating going down the steep slope. I was laughing like a maniac. They put my tube on the "lift" apparatus that drags you back up the slope. Great, no problems. And then I got to the top and realized I had to get out of the darn thing. The 135-lbs-dripping-wet teenage boy manning the top of the lift offered his hand to help me up. Um, no -- I'll pull his skinny arm off! So I have to roll to the side, get on my knees and stumble to my feet. Another "beached whale" experience. (I repeated the experience several times, though, because going downhill was so fun I just decided to put up with the embarrassment of "dismounting.") 3. Today we went out to lunch and the skinny hostess tried to seat us in a booth. I took one look at it and knew I wouldn't fit. Had to ask for a table. This has happened repeatedly since we moved to Colorado, a state full of skinny people (lowest rate of obesity in the US). Before we moved here I could at least squeeze into restaurant booths. I swear the booths here are much narrower. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it.) I can't even mash myself in and park "the girls" on the tabletop. It's just a no-go. Ugh, it's so embarrassing. Now, why did I want a band again?

Thanks for sharing your positive experience. It really is great to hear. I'm so glad for you and hope things keep going wonderfully!

Jack and Jill (ha), I do think this is a good suggestion and I want you to know I'm not dismissing it at all. I will definitely seek the support I need -- whether it be one-on-one therapy, a bandsters group, this board or (most likely) all of the above. It's frustrating to me that I live 12 minutes from a city of 500,000 people, which is hardly Hicksville, and there is a top-rated WLS practice there, but they don't do Lap-Band. (How ridiculous is that?!) Today I reserved a spot at a surgeon's seminar on Lap-Band, to be held later this month. His practice is 90 minutes away. The most experienced Lap-Band surgeon in my state is 2 1/2 hours away. 5 hours of driving every time I need a fill or follow-up? Seems crazy. However, I refuse to use the inconvenience as an excuse. I'm lucky enough to own my own business, so my "boss" is just going to have to give me the time off! Mary

You and me both! There aren't any Lap-Band surgeons within a 90 minute drive of me, either.

First, just wanted to thank everyone who has contributed to this thread. It has been so reassuring to read your responses. Yesterday I realized I was beating on myself for no reason. This is a big decision that will signal a huge life change, so it's normal to be shaken up by it. I was trying to think of a good metaphor for this kind of change. For lack of a better one, maybe it's sort of like to deciding to become a Catholic if you've been Jewish all your life! I mean, we are talking about changing a lot of dietary habits, body image, maybe even relationships with certain family members (the ones who like us to eat their stuff, for instance) ... so it's major. Anyway, I took the afternoon off yesterday to enjoy a funny book and just let things "perk" a little. I decided I need to be nice to myself and work on looking at the positive aspects of this decision instead of focusing on the negatives. For one thing, after 25+ years of feeling absolutely hopeless about this problem, now there is hope. I am thankful that this technology exists. Loved, loved, loved your post. That one hadn't occurred to me (yet). Actually, my husband and I were watching the last two episodes of Survivor (TIVO'd) last night and I was thinking having a band could be an ADVANTAGE in that game! They were all complaining about being hungry... heck, if they had bands they wouldn't be nearly as ravenous, right? Maybe after I'm banded I'll try out for the show and test my theory. Or not.