debbieperez55

Well, it is my Band Anniversary and things have changed. #1 I left my husband, a cruel and abusive man. I grew a spine and walked out the door with nothing. He told me I had changed. He was angry that I lost weight. He lost his control over me. It is now a very bitter divorce, but I am free. #2 I am dating again. It has been a year and I love my freedom. I have grown so much. I love myself for the first time in my life. I have excess skin, you don't like it, tough!!! My tummy hangs, you don't like it tough!!! My arms are big, TOUGH!!! #3 I live with my Daughter. I am 57 years old and I live with my Daughter. I have nothing. But I am no longer isolated and alone. I would rather be broke than abused. My life has changed, but I am enjoying life for the first time in a very long time. I love this stage. YES there are men out there who enjoy a more mature figure. Yes there are men out there that will take advantage of you. You just have to be cautious and never go back to the type of man in #1 My weight is stable. I am not thin, but I am happy. So, did I change, DAMN RIGHT I DID. Did I leave a cruel and abusive marriage, damn right I did. I started living for me. I don't care if I never have a possession again. I have my dignity. No one should live their life in fear as a door mat. Take a stand, protect yourself. TELL SOMEONE, you are not alone

Well, I did the unthinkable. I gained. I went from 180 to 245. YES, all that hard work down the toilet. Battling depression, migraine headaches and cereal addiction. Yes, you can be addicted to the carbs in cereal. Went back to my surgeon, he did not beat me up as I had imagined. Everyone was so nice. The do fills in the office so it is so much more convenient. I thought I needed to be filled tight, but after she put 1 cc in she had me drink. YIKES - PAIN!!!, so 1/2 cc out and I have that wonderful feeling of restriction. Actually after speaking to the nutritionist I lost 10 pounds before the fill. How is that for an attitude change. Now back down to 227. The weight is coming off fast, but I know I am thick. My port use to bulge and I just noticed it doesn't anymore. It is tucked away under a layer of fat. But the important thing is I am back. I had headaches after stopping the cereal. What a mess. But I feel better and I am satisfied with that 1/2 cup. How amazing is that??? So if you too have lost your way, let me know. The support I received from the nutritionist made me realize that I was wrong. I CANNOT DO THIS ON MY OWN.

No, I didn't have a support group or support system. That is a recipe for failure. I now have my Nutritionist, Daughter and Son in Law. I left my husband and left an abusive situation. I feel 100% better and the weight is falling off. My Daughter encourages healthy meals. I remain a vegetarian, but I sneak in fish now and then and maybe some cottage cheese. You have to have support - it is a must!!! There are thinks that happen with a band that no one else understands. Gurgling noises, hiccups, productive burping or even vomiting. I found if I was stressed I ate too fast and it just came back up. Also, I was told by the Nutritionist that stress causes irritation in your stomach. For me, the band is tighter and I am nausea Now instead of eating something soft like cereal and milk, I ride it out. Try to eat a few bites fruit. You have to be good to yourself FIRST. I feel amazing. I am happy again with my band. We are friends again

I am so glad you are all hanging in there. If I had to give anyone advice it would be that this is NOT the easy way. You have to work, hard, to keep everything under control. Stress can undermine all your hard work. My husband HATED me thinner. Just found out he thought I was having an affair because I wore make up. He liked me at 300 pounds! Well, I just dropped another 135 pounds, my husband. Discovered he was the cause of my stress and stress eating. Have not been happy for a very long time but I didn't want to be a failure. Well I am not a failure, I have one success at a time. My weight is falling off again and my Daughter supports my efforts. What a difference. If your partner does not support your efforts you will not succeed. Let me know how you are doing

Anyone out there??? I gained and fell off the wagon. My drug of choice, CEREAL. I was embarrassed to go back to my surgeon because the insurance fought for two years to pay for my last fill, after the approved it. My regular GP talked me into going back. Well, things changed, they do fills in the office now and have a nutritionist. I talked to her forever. I walked in crying and depressed and left a new person. No judging. I just got a fill and have the restriction again. What a wonderful feeling. I have lost almost 20 pounds -- again! I am taking it 10 pounds at a time. So if anyone is out there, how are you doing?

Teri, I am SO HAPPY for you. You have been through hell and finally you found your "sweet spot". I am just sorry that you had to go through so much. It should have been easier for you in the beginning. Everything that could go wrong did. It was just a bad thing. This is a whole lot harder than I had expected. When I see the billboards for 1800getthin, I want to wipe the smile off the skinny girl's face. This is hard work. I am now a Vegan, and still I have problems. I do not eat a lot of things because they still trigger, Cereal is a big one. And to boot I have worse reflex than before. I just have to be careful, nothing and I mean nothing 2 hours before bed and no chocolate after 5. I drink a Vegan protien drink, chocolate, to make sure I get enough protien, but I don't mind. But on the good side, no problems with the band, only the Insurance Co, they still have not paid for the fill last year and I am getting bills (I have an HMO and got a referral) Anyway, I am just so happy for you. This was right for you and it is working. Even your post is happy. Let me know how you are doing. Take Care Debbie

Get back on the horse??? I think I shot mine dead!!! Maybe they have CPR :smile: Reincarnation .....

Teri -- I wish you the best. You have gone through so much. You know, this isn't exactly like they said it would be. It is much MUCH more difficult. I know that the RNY will work for you and I pray that this will fix everything. Keep your Chin up. We all love you!! You have always been our cheerleader..... Take Care and continue to let us know how you are doing. Deb

Hi everyone. I have been fighting with my insurance and IPA since September. I finally won and have an appointment to see my surgeon on the 10th. I have NO restriction and have gained some weight, I was up to 192 and I was 190 today at my Dr. I have a mental block against meat so I have been eating only whole grain cereal and vegetables. I drink vegitarian protien drinks to make sure I get enough protien. My biggest problem is nuts and whole grain crackers. I still do not eat rice, potatoes, bread, sugar, fried anything and of course fats. I know that the nuts are a downfall and have cut them out. I was doing good only drinking shakes, but stress caused some eating and damn if those crackers don't add up. So it is still a stuggle. My Dr is still proud of my progress, but we are all afraid of any weight gain. We both just want me to stay at 180. I have had chest pains which only make me more "meat" phobic. I now have nitro pills and heart meds. Funny, loose all this weight and now this popps up. But I know that the damage I did to my body will last the rest of my life..... Hang in there everyone. I hope you are all having more success than me. :smile2:

Ankpta, so glad you got your fill and you are back on the road. Terri, looks like you are on the right road. I am thrilled that things are finally going your way. You deserve this, you have worked hard and not given up. Me, I am close to tears. I am starving all the time. I have become Vegetarian, mostly, and now drink a Vegetarian Protien drink. I still get gas, but not like I get when I eat animal protien. I don't know what is up with my body. It would be nice to see my surgeon, but I am still fighting. I have begun getting pressure in my chest and at least this time I told my Dr. I am now on an asprin a day, low dose. I don't know what the pressure is but I know I am stressed over my weight staying the same for a very long time and now it is going in the wrong direction. I am discourage, extremely, all this and now a fight. I knew it was too good to be true. I always waited for the other shoe to fall and I guess it did

I am in hell. My company changed insurance companies. Had to change IPA's. They denied my referral to see my surgeon. Appealed to the insurance company. The new insurance company, Aetna, denied my appeal. They will not allow me to see my Surgeon. "It is not a medical necessity" and the appeal actually said that I did the band for cosmetic reasons and my own personal comfort. Give me a friggin break. I have gained - I am up to 186. I need a fill. I am upset and find myself stress eating. I feel like telling them that since they will not allow me to maintain the band I want it removed. Then I will gain back 100 pounds or more, much more. Then I will become a diabetic again. And in a year or so they can pay for my tripple bypass and my care after my stroke. What is wrong with them. AND - I cannot find a place to get my fills. The Drs I have called tell me that they will not fill bands they didn't put in. I am screwed......:cursing:

There have been ups and downs. Loss of motivation and triumps. The scale has dropped to new lows. Clothes purchased just a 6 months ago are loo large. Pictures from last Christmas look foreign. And in the end, it is all me. I have grown emotionally and shrunk physically. It has been over a year now and what a difference. I am not, under any circumstances THIN, but that was NEVER my goal. I glanced at my reflection in the window while shopping today and one word came to my mind. NORMAL. I do not think that anyone without a weight problem would understand how that word can lift your spirit. NORMAL. I can now shop in the NORMAL sizes. I can now sit comfortable in NORMAL chairs. I can run up the stairs like a NORMAL person. I am not constantly sick, I just feel NORMAL. A size 28 to a size 14 - NORMAL A size 14 undie to a size 7 - NORMAL A size 48, we won't say cup size, to a 36 bra band - NORMAL I went to breakfast with family and I ordered my NORMAL breakfast. My Mother how is very overweight had the whole enchilada and ate the ENTIRE thing, eggs, ham, potatoes and toast. I have in the past felt funny ordering out. But this time, I felt confident. A small bowl of oatmeal, 1 scrambled egg white. I had brought my own applesause. The waitress didn't even blink her eyes. She wrote my order as if I was NORMAL. And when I only ate 1/4 of what she brought (okay, that was not a small bowl), she just asked are you done and took my plate. Normal - Maybe it was me. Maybe in the past I felt I had to explain. But now - I just want a scoop of tuna and avocado, salmon on the side, and no one questions no bread. That I can thank Atkins for. But NORMAL, the unabtainable dream of just fitting in, just being part of the life I was missing. Not being that huge fat lady who brought stares on her own. Reaching my dream of Normal, Normal - blood sugar Normal - blood pressure Normal - cholestrol Normal - heart Normal Life I thank God for my band everyday I know that without it I would NEVER have acheived Normal.

There have been ups and downs. Loss of motivation and triumps. The scale has dropped to new lows. Clothes purchased just a 6 months ago are loo large. Pictures from last Christmas look foreign. And in the end, it is all me. I have grown emotionally and shrunk physically. It has been over a year now and what a difference. I am not, under any circumstances THIN, but that was NEVER my goal. I glanced at my reflection in the window while shopping today and one word came to my mind. NORMAL. I do not think that anyone without a weight problem would understand how that word can lift your spirit. NORMAL. I can now shop in the NORMAL sizes. I can now sit comfortable in NORMAL chairs. I can run up the stairs like a NORMAL person. I am not constantly sick, I just feel NORMAL. A size 28 to a size 14 - NORMAL A size 14 undie to a size 7 - NORMAL A size 48, we won't say cup size, to a 36 bra band - NORMAL I went to breakfast with family and I ordered my NORMAL breakfast. My Mother how is very overweight had the whole enchilada and ate the ENTIRE thing, eggs, ham, potatoes and toast. I have in the past felt funny ordering out. But this time, I felt confident. A small bowl of oatmeal, 1 scrambled egg white. I had brought my own applesause. The waitress didn't even blink her eyes. She wrote my order as if I was NORMAL. And when I only ate 1/4 of what she brought (okay, that was not a small bowl), she just asked are you done and took my plate. Normal - Maybe it was me. Maybe in the past I felt I had to explain. But now - I just want a scoop of tuna and avocado, salmon on the side, and no one questions no bread. That I can thank Atkins for. But NORMAL, the unabtainable dream of just fitting in, just being part of the life I was missing. Not being that huge fat lady who brought stares on her own. Reaching my dream of Normal, Normal - blood sugar Normal - blood pressure Normal - cholestrol Normal - heart Normal Life I thank God for my band everyday I know that without it I would NEVER have acheived Normal.

Teri, I know you have had more than your share of problems. At times it has seemed so unfair that you were given even more challanges in your life. But you are a fighter and I know that everything is going to work out for you. I pray that you and your surgeon make the choice that is right for you. Whatever that is, please remember, you will always be a September Samurai. We all love and care for you. You may have an RNY, but we all share the same lives and experiences. We all understand and support you 150%. Hey - maybe they can use your existing band scars or even make a happy face design for you :redface: :cursing: :wink2: Take Care and let us know how things go.

These are some of the lessons I have learned there is no magic bullet the band is not "the answer" to all your problems you need to exercise - no really, you need to be active if you have to loose 100 pounds your skin will sag you have to stick to a low calorie meal plan you MUST control your portion sizes you have to cut into small bites you have to CHEW CHEW CHEW The most important thing to remember, you must, understand, this is the most important thing. YOU MUST MAINTAIN YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM Funny once we were past our 6 months everyone kind of slacked off writing. Our group dwindled. I was one of them. Our one year came up and I went back. We were all telling our stories and touching base, bringing everyone up to date with how we are doing. I found that I missed that contact. I read their words, their stories and found that they all shared the same problems and hurdles I have come across. You can't do it alone. You need support. You need someone who understands, who knows, about Pbing, sliming, portions and small bites, and who understands "why you don't have your band removed once you loose the weight" Some people just cannot comprehend that we cannot do it on our own, not that we haven't tried. That is why we got the band, if we could, we would have years ago. You need us and we you. We have a common bond, our bands. Celebrate that common bond, share your ups and downs. Someone out there understands and is there to support you.

There is nothing like the stark, naked truth. You and the mirror. Mortal enemy, always truthful, always brutal. Today I purchased a swim suit. Someone told me to get a bikini. OMG - did they want everyone to run screaming from the pool? They do not realize what lurks beneath the safety of clothing.......... They don't know, and they never could even imagine. The brutal truth is that as I am in a smaller total size, BUT - I still have all the skin that covered my 289 pound frame. I have skin that sags behind my knees, my ass in at my knees and my - please excuse me for being brutal, my boobs are as my Band Buddie told me in the begining - two wet tube socks hanging from my chest. I have no idea why, but all the fat is gone from my tush. There is nothing there, flat as a board, no wonder it hurts to sit on hard chairs. And as I have mentioned before I have "turkey flap arms". And since we are looking in the mirror lets not forget that lovely turkey neck. It started out just being wrinkled, now my cats could hide in the folds............. The naked truth is that there is skin everywhere. It hangs and it wiggles and it jiggles, just like JELLO. If you took my butt and pulled all the skin tight you could make it to my shoulders, well almost. "Just get a tummy tuck or a body lift", they, the thin never fat tell me. Yeah, just cut it off, lift it up and have seams running down your thighs, under arms and tummy. And let's not forget to mention the $20k price tag! The honest truth is that I am at times so angry at myself for letting it (fat and overeating) get so out of control. How could I have done that to myself. But then the stark truth, the light of day truth, the look how far you have come truth takes over. The real truth is that I am lucky to be alive. So today when I tried on a size 14 swim suite and it was big in the tush, I went out and picked up that 12. IT FIT. DID YOU HEAR ME - IT FIT!!!!! And as I stood there looking in the mirror it dawned on me that the skin is my badge of honor. It is my proof that I have survived and overcame. It is me, all of me. It is the sneak eating of the past, it is the never being full, Being able to eat half a cow, and still eat some more. It is the high blood pressure and diabetes and heart attack. It is my ex husband telling my daughter that I was revulting and that he couldn't stand to look at me after 22 years. That skin is proof that I am alive that I made it, that heart disease didn't kill me. That skin is proof that I can succeed, I CAN SUCCEED!! So tomorrow as I put that suit on and walk to that pool I will jiggle in pride. My arms will flap, my thighs will woosh and everything will sway. But I made it. I may not be 135 pounds like Weight Watchers always said I had to be, but I can wear a normal size. And I am healthy! When it comes time, I will stand up tall, walk into that pool at my Daughter's Condo, in front of all those strangers, and I will hold my head up high. I am beautiful, I am beautiful, I am beautiful. Maybe if I say it enough, I will truely believe. Mirror mirror on the wall..............

I guess I wanted a relationship so badly with my Mom that I started to sacrafice myself, AGAIN. She even began telling me what I could eat or not eat, what I should wear and how I should cut my hair. She even said that I needed to do something with my midsection, it is really too big. HELLO, can you say excess skin!!!!! And for some reason my port sticks out. But I am okay with it, I really am. My hubby says, hey look how far you have come. The hanging skin doesn't bother him in the least. I am the same person he married, I weigh a lot less, but all the skin is still there. Getting back to this, I didn't see her last Friday and I haven't spoken to her since Tuesday. It is as if a weight has been lifted. She would keep dragging me in deeper and deeper into her twisted world. She would tell me that my Dad was in bed with her last night. Then she would tell me how much she missed him and how she wished she was with him. Now you should know my Mom is the center of her world, she has a habbit of making everything revolve around her. So is should be no surprise that she alienates those around her. My younger brother did not speak to her for year due to her abuse. My older brother lives up north and is far enough away to be "away from it all" Even still when she went up to visit with them she got upset because he suggested that she get involved, she get up and exercise or just do something. My brother really pissed her off when he said that she should go walking with me. And the topper was when he suggested that she also get the band. She has gained at least 50 pounds in the last 6 months. But she would rather complain than do something for herself. She will not go to a Senior center, she doesn't like all the old people and she will not get active. She sits on her couch and does nothing except complain about the faults of those around her. So to say that I feel liberated is an understatement. Do I feel sorry that I have cut off ties, after all she is old and she is my Mother, NO - I do not. My Mother told my Daughter that it was her fault that I was so heavy. She would look at my Daughter and say, you sure have large hips for someone your size. Daughter is 5'4" and 110 pounds. Very petite and a size 3. Mom is 5'3" and at least 250. She is pear shapped and I helped her get some capri. I had her try a 3x. I know what size I was and I know what size she is. They fit perfectly. She INFORMED me "chastized me" that I had given her the wrong size. She does not wear a 3x, so she returned them. So all my life I could do nothing correctly. If I vaccumed the floor, it was not done correctly. If I cooked dinner, I had not done it correctly. If I washed the dishes, I did not do them correctly. So I grew up knowing I was a complete failure. It took two years of therapy to get myself back and then I threw it all away because I felt guilty that my Father had died. Well no more. I guess I need to take a page from my brothers. She will be alone, but it is a lonelyness of her own making. She drove us away with her abuse. What would you do if you mother told you when you were a very young child that she didn't want you, you can go live with your father, they were fighting. And of course there is the one that will stay in my mind forever - I wish you had never been born. I countered with - you should have had an abortion. Not the most adult, but a knife just the same. So it seems you cannot swallow the past. You cannot go on from a point and ignore all the hurt and pain of the past. The source of the pain remains You didn't cure anything, you just burried your head in the sand. My Mother is a cruel and mean person. She is manipulative and nacasistic (not sure of the spelling on that). She cares for only herself and will do things that put herself in the good light. She has both physically and mentally abused me, my brothers, my children, my grandchildren and worse of all my FATHER. Now she will reap what she has sewn. I will not be a part of this madness any longer. I will spend my days in more productive ways, loving my husband, my children and my grandchildren. I am going to spend the time I was devoting to her to them. I think it will be time well spent. This will be the last blog about her. I have spent enough time on this subject and it is time to more on. Thank you for letting my feelings be vented through this forum.

These are some of the lessons I have learned there is no magic bullet the band is not "the answer" to all your problems you need to exercise - no really, you need to be active if you have to loose 100 pounds your skin will sag you have to stick to a low calorie meal plan you MUST control your portion sizes you have to cut into small bites you have to CHEW CHEW CHEW The most important thing to remember, you must, understand, this is the most important thing. YOU MUST MAINTAIN YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM Funny once we were past our 6 months everyone kind of slacked off writing. Our group dwindled. I was one of them. Our one year came up and I went back. We were all telling our stories and touching base, bringing everyone up to date with how we are doing. I found that I missed that contact. I read their words, their stories and found that they all shared the same problems and hurdles I have come across. You can't do it alone. You need support. You need someone who understands, who knows, about Pbing, sliming, portions and small bites, and who understands "why you don't have your band removed once you loose the weight" Some people just cannot comprehend that we cannot do it on our own, not that we haven't tried. That is why we got the band, if we could, we would have years ago. You need us and we you. We have a common bond, our bands. Celebrate that common bond, share your ups and downs. Someone out there understands and is there to support you.

Teri, I understand the Dr sucking, for me it was after the surgery they treat you different. And after this last farce, he was there and just stared at me. Why would I just show up, and on my 1 year anniv yet? Good Greif give me a break, he keeps you waiting hours, you think I am going to take off work for nothing! Enough of that, it just pisses me off again. So what is the revision? Are you going to have it removed? Let me know, I think of you a lot and do hope that things start working your way. Take care Debie

I feel normal again. As always, you all write and I find my thought, my fears, my problems. It is nice to be with those who know, really know, what I am feeling and experiencing. Maybe we NEED to stay in touch to KEEP in touch, with our bodies and our minds. I have been on the longest plateau. I have been within 4 pounds for months. I just lost a pound and was so glad. But, I have to admit, even though the number is still large, 178, I am not unhappy with me. So I think in a way my "brain" has affected my body too. I have always said it was my health so the number doesn't bother me that much. Actually, not having to buy new clothes again has been a blessing. I still have trouble. Afternoons and/or "mindless eating", can cause pain which is always followed by sliming. I remember when I first started I needed someone to graphicly explaine Sliming and PBing. Don't need those graphics anymore. Anyway it is the "mindless" that gets me into trouble. Before I know it, too fast, too large, too much. I am learning, they are less frequent, but it still pisses me off that I was stupid for that one moment. I too miss bread. I am back to very low carbs, only oatmeal that one that has extra Fiber. As I have discussed before, I have developed food alergies so I have given up most everything. My stomach distress (gas):scared2: keeps me on the straight and narrow. I had subsituted Cereal for some things I miss, but found I could not control my portions and I found I was eating cereal every meal. So, no cereal for me. Loved that chocolate shreaded wheat. I miss Dairy, no pudding, cottage cheese, or CHOCOLATE. Even tried Almond Milk, but that gives me problems too. So, Rice Milk for me, and I have yet to find rice milk pudding - sounds gross anyway. My insurance changed so I have no idea what I will do for follow up and fills. I called a Dr in my Medical IPA and was told they only do fills on bands they install. I am so distressed. I went for my last visit, my insurance let me have one. Made my appointment, faxed copies of my card. Show up on the day I was told, early of course, THEY WANTED TO KNOW WHY I WAS THERE. THEY DIDN'T SHOW I HAD AN APPOINTMENT. So no one year visit for me. I guess if something happens I get to go to the emergency room and pray they know what a lap band is. :thumbup: But I miss all of you and after reading all your posts I know that I need, I have to stay in touch. I need you. I can't do this alone. Take care - thanks for being there. Debbie

It is so exciting to see other who share the same future. I look forward to hearing from you. Debbie

What is it about carbs? I know I need them, but it is a fine line beween need and NEED! My tooth broke two weeks ago and I had to get a crown, back molar. Turns out I had a huge cavity that didn't show on the X-Ray and the tooth just gave way. I am lucky, they say, it didn't break down the middle. I am not a "good" patient, I sweat, almost jump out of my skin. I HATE THE DENTIST. In the middle of my "fix" the novacaine quit working, turns out I am hypersensative. Dentist numbed me again, almost my entire face was numb and my tounge didnt' work properly. I had warning to be careful, it might be sensative, and don't mess with the temp crown. For that much money, even with insurance, I hope it was made of gold! And after, well I put the liquid vicodine to good use! So now two weeks later, I find I was eating mush and lots of cereal. Went back Saturday and he took the temp crown off. I was still embarrased from two weeks ago, so I didn't ask to be numbed up. The Dentist asked how I felt, and I told him it was a little sensative. He poked around a bit and then blew air onto the tooth. OH MY GOD - you would have though he was drilling. The pain was so bad. I took in a huge breath cried out and started sweating. The pain was throbing and I was wishing I could run away. I didn't move or breathe hoping air not moving over the tooth would make it better. IT DIDN'T!!! IT HURT LIKE HELL! So more numbing crap, another numb face, but not as bad and he was able to finish. Went home and hit the VICODINE again. My face throbbed, my tooth hurt and it HURT. AFter the numbing was gone, I went straight to my comfort. CARBS - I ate a box of cereal yesterday. A whole fricking box. Now I didn't eat it all at once, but nibbled the rest of the day. I woke up this am, swollen and retaining water. I felt like hell and I knew what it was, that fricken cereal. My tooth felt better, but I had a Carb Hangover. Then I stepped on the scale. A week of self pitty had taken it's toll. The scale moved up a couple pounds. My worse nightmare. :wink2: Well today I put a stop to the self pitty. I made a protien drink with Rice Milk, Egg White (did you know it was pasterized), Coco Powder (for baking) and Truvea - artificial sweetner. Now I found out, there is such a thing as too much Coco Powder, so I shall cut back next time, but all in all it wan't too bad. I will not allow myself to go back. I will not do this to myself again! Want to know the difference this time? It was only a couple pounds - not 10, 20 or 50. 2 or 3 and the breaks get set. More exercise and no more snacking on cereal. It wasn't the band that stopped me. It was me, Maybe I am learning after all. I maybe a "slow" learner, but it is definately registering. Maybe I need a fill too, you know a little top off, but maybe the ghosts of the past are really in the past, where they belong. So next time, STEP AWAY FROM THE CEREAL box, maybe I'll have some turkey instead. :cool2:

What is it about carbs? I know I need them, but it is a fine line beween need and NEED! My tooth broke two weeks ago and I had to get a crown, back molar. Turns out I had a huge cavity that didn't show on the X-Ray and the tooth just gave way. I am lucky, they say, it didn't break down the middle. I am not a "good" patient, I sweat, almost jump out of my skin. I HATE THE DENTIST. In the middle of my "fix" the novacaine quit working, turns out I am hypersensative. Dentist numbed me again, almost my entire face was numb and my tounge didnt' work properly. I had warning to be careful, it might be sensative, and don't mess with the temp crown. For that much money, even with insurance, I hope it was made of gold! And after, well I put the liquid vicodine to good use! So now two weeks later, I find I was eating mush and lots of cereal. Went back Saturday and he took the temp crown off. I was still embarrased from two weeks ago, so I didn't ask to be numbed up. The Dentist asked how I felt, and I told him it was a little sensative. He poked around a bit and then blew air onto the tooth. OH MY GOD - you would have though he was drilling. The pain was so bad. I took in a huge breath cried out and started sweating. The pain was throbing and I was wishing I could run away. I didn't move or breathe hoping air not moving over the tooth would make it better. IT DIDN'T!!! IT HURT LIKE HELL! So more numbing crap, another numb face, but not as bad and he was able to finish. Went home and hit the VICODINE again. My face throbbed, my tooth hurt and it HURT. AFter the numbing was gone, I went straight to my comfort. CARBS - I ate a box of cereal yesterday. A whole fricking box. Now I didn't eat it all at once, but nibbled the rest of the day. I woke up this am, swollen and retaining water. I felt like hell and I knew what it was, that fricken cereal. My tooth felt better, but I had a Carb Hangover. Then I stepped on the scale. A week of self pitty had taken it's toll. The scale moved up a couple pounds. My worse nightmare. :sad: Well today I put a stop to the self pitty. I made a protien drink with Rice Milk, Egg White (did you know it was pasterized), Coco Powder (for baking) and Truvea - artificial sweetner. Now I found out, there is such a thing as too much Coco Powder, so I shall cut back next time, but all in all it wan't too bad. I will not allow myself to go back. I will not do this to myself again! Want to know the difference this time? It was only a couple pounds - not 10, 20 or 50. 2 or 3 and the breaks get set. More exercise and no more snacking on cereal. It wasn't the band that stopped me. It was me, Maybe I am learning after all. I maybe a "slow" learner, but it is definately registering. Maybe I need a fill too, you know a little top off, but maybe the ghosts of the past are really in the past, where they belong. So next time, STEP AWAY FROM THE CEREAL box, maybe I'll have some turkey instead. :thumbup:

The excitement of the pre-band life is long gone. All the hoops that had to be jumped through for the insurance companies. Then you have the "has my liver shrunk enough" issues. The pre-op tests, the dreaded "head shrinker" appointment and the liquid diet. The after glow of the first weeks post op band have faded. We learned a new vocabulary - Mushies, PB, Sliming. We went through our stages and excitely shared the foods we were able to add. And we learned. We learned to Never eat and drink at the same time. Cut into small pieces. Eat slowly. CHEW CHEW CHEW. The scale began it's decline, maybe even hitting "uncharted water". Some lost fast, some lost slow. For me, getting under 200 was a celebration. I had not been under 200 in OVER 25 years. Now, the scale appears to be STUCK. I know, I eat too much cereal, but when you cannot have dairy or milk products, it is a PAIN. I don't eat bread, rice, pasta, fried foods, refined sugar. I am as my daughter calls it, a MONOVORE. I can live off of the same 5 foods and be quite happy. So Tuna, Salmon, Green Beans, Peas, Applesauce-they have different flavors and oatmeal. But I am happy - I may weigh 180 but I am happy. So as plateaus go, this one is okay with me. Maybe it is just the "non excitement" that makes it so nice. I like the quiet of now. I still step on the scale expecting to see 280 instead of the 180. Sometime I wake in a cold sweat and that was my nightmare. But then I awaken to the clear daylight and I see it was all a bad dream. A dream to learn from, but as with all dreams, it fades. I am happy.