Oeschrm

I am a mid forties mom and teacher.  I have been blessed with so many good things in life--a wonderful family (even the in-laws are great!). I have a job I love, and I am in a great place in life.  However, my weight has increased by about 100 pounds in the past 6 years.  Previously, I have dieted when in new or stressful situations, which has less to a decreased metabolism and increased "set weight" (in my non-medical opinion), 
I used to work out, swim, run, and I was a force to be reckoned with.  My nick name was She-ra.  When I switched from an active career to a sedentary and more mentally and emotionally stressful one (teaching!), my weight started to fluctuate. I initially had panic attacks and managed my stress by not eating.  However, at some point, a switch went off, and I could no longer keep up the weight loss vigilance.  I began "treating" (soothing) myself with sweets.  Because I have plantar fasciitis, which is aggravated by higher impact activities, I found it easier to just not "do".  Currently, being on my feet for any amount of time comes with a cost of inevitable pain and soreness later.
Getting all this extra weight off is important because I find it harder and harder to the things that I love, such as gardening, and being outdoors.  I have always been either gaining or losing, so clothes (and I HATE shopping) have always ben something I had to purchase because I always grown out of things. It is getting harder to find clothes I like because of my size.  I know people respect me less due to the combination of my increasing age, and weight (and people shouldn't be that way, but they are).  Due to an unexpected windfall, I am able to undergo bariatric surgery to knock the weight off.  My insurance does not cover surgery.
It has been a considerable mental and emotional journey, to let go of my desperate and irrational clinging to certain foods and excuses for why I eat and refuse to try to lose weight.  The acceptance that I need to make lifelong changes was not initially one that I wanted to attempt or believed I could undergo.  But because of support from wonderful friends and family, I am able to do this, and not be alone.  
However, even with all the support that I have, no one in my life is overweight to the extent that I am.  There are challenges they can't possibly understand, and struggles that they aren't even aware that I will be going through because of the surgery.  I have been turning to this forum to give and get support.  
And I am a big Bill Murray fan. And I love standup comedy.