Nanook

Jachut, when you speak of your friends/feller posters from your other forum are you talking about women with postpartum depression or women who are situationally depressed? I tend to believe the biggest drama queens are the ones that don't even know they are drama queens! Nanook

BJean, I must have missed the stuff about your dad so you'll have to direct me where you wrote about him, sorry but I don't get around much! I'm kind of lucky because where I live it's a small town and there is no home owner's association. More of a town association I guess. My MIL has one in SC in her retirement development and really wanted to put up a weathervane, probably a cute sea bird or something and it was a no no so she ended up returning it. I don't know if I could deal with that, a birdbath, what about garden gnomes are they out too? I can almost see the weathervane being problematic if a hurricane were to come ashore and blow that thing off and send it flying through someone's window but birdies need to bathe dammit!! On a side note, probably shocking but probably not, my father felt a bit terrorized by one of my neighbors and she was an elderly woman and a member of the garden club. I really don't remember what she did to piss him off but he had quite a temper and a "they're all out to get me complex". Anyway he was replacing one of our toilets one year and I don't know what moved him to do this, could have been vodka, but he took the old toilet and put it in the backyard and planted flowers in it. In complete view of my poor neighbor's beautiful garden. Naturally I was embarrassed but he took great joy in it! He would not have done well with a home owners association. Nanook

scruffy, have you contemplated something like an aquasize (sp) class at the Y? I was looking into that myself as I'm like you and always felt self conscious in a suit but I thought if I were with other women it might not be as bad and have loved swimming every since I was forced to go through YMCA swimming lessons as a child, lol! Well I loved the pool after the classes. I think the one I looked into was 3 days a week. I don't know much about it but know my MIL does it every year when they open her pool and loves it. Trust me I've seen these ladies in their suits and there's nothing to be self conscious about! Nanook:smile:

Gloucester, I totally agree it can be hurtful, I know from experience but somehow I've gotten past it myself! Who knows if I came across something similar today I'd probably put a laxative in his dinner! They do say as long as they're still interested and looking that it's a good thing but I'm sure you would have preferred those pics to be of sandpipers or whatever the beach bird is in Hawaii. My dogs have never ate poop, they've smelled like poop! I know some dogs eat their own poop! Maybe that's more sanitary, who knows? I have a few birds and they tend to be a bit messy and my one dog, the "I don't care what I eat" dog, will graze at the stuff they've kicked onto the floor, kind of an efficient dust buster of sorts. But he does tend to eat things just to piss me off! The last two days for some reason he has taken to chewing up a candle I have put on a pretty little ceramic dish. It smells of cucumber but he doesn't even like cucumbers. I know he's doing it to get my attention he's very manipulative. I have some stuffed bears on my side table in my room and he knows they are not his toys but every time I leave the house I'll find this one white bear on my bed or in his bed/room (he has my whole walk in closet with old comforters and pillows on the floor) and it's not chewed on just moved like he's saying "hey you left me now I can take your bear out!". Okay maybe I'm over analyzing him and giving him more credit than he deserves. I can't imagine mixing him with a cat though it just wouldn't work thank God they can jump high places that's all I can say! Take care and enjoy your new life with your BF! I remember new love, well sort of it was many, many years ago! Nanook:smile:

Gloucester, I understand you feelings. But you have to do is look at a tabloid in line in the grocery store and see all the "beautiful thin stars" and how they're being cheated on left and right. I remember when I was a youngin of 23 and was having a discussion with some co-workers, women much older and much more experienced and knowledgeable about men than I was, about how all men have the capability to cheat and probably did. And that even though my husband was a "saint" he probably looks at and desires other women as well as myself. I think they found me a naive newlywed girl who was still a bit too starstruck with her husband in their eyes and wanted to take me down a notch just for my own good! LOL:lol:. This was many years ago but I defended him saying he'd never do that to me or he's not that type of guy etc... just as you've said. They did not have much faith in men themselves and both were divorced. Anyway during my many, many years of marriage to this one great guy he's never cheated on me but I have learned more about the male's psyche and yes it is built into them to turn and look and even go on the internet as it's an easily available tool to look even more! A few pics on a camera are nothing compared to what you can find that they've been visiting on the internet, :tt1: But to me it's a fantasy and fantasies can be kept private but sometimes we accidentally can come across one of their fantasies as technology has really evolved:biggrin:. It can be hurtful but if you look at it from the point of view that it is a normal and healthy thing because we all know men are visual people and that it takes nothing away from his love and desire from you then it's okay! It's just too bad they can't lock up those fantasies where we can find them!!! I know it can turn addictive to some but that's another topic! Keep having faith in him, if you keep expecting the next bad thing to drop you're wasting a lot of good energy in your relationship. I'm kind of concerned about the dogs eating the kitty litter, are they lacking Fiber in their diet? Nanook:smile:

I agree too Alex!! Nanook:smile:

OMG I've been there, it was the first time I ever experienced complete sensory overload!! Was driving my daughter to visit UMass and thought we'd make a quick detour on the way home. It was a real treat for anyone into YC, never made it to the factory but found the shop to be enough for me. I didn't know where to start it was so much fun. Another fun place to go is Boyds Bears near Gettysburg! Nanook:smile:

When I think of fluffy, I do tend to think of furry animals but wouldn't begrudge a person the name they feel comfortable with. Some people can never come to terms using the word fat because they're used to so many negs being involved with their life experiences. Being called "you're fat!" can give most of us a pretty bad feeling inside even if we're past the large size and down to average or where ever we choose to be or our band takes us. There will always be mean and nasty people out there in the world and if they want to call us names they will and use whatever they want to make themselves feel better! I think people tend to project their own insecurities onto others and some of the worse culprits are other fat people or previously fat people who had/have a lot of self hatred and it still continues to spew out in their attitudes of other fat people. I like plump and large but fat can be used as a descriptive word like blond or brunette I suppose it's all in how it's delivered and how you feel about yourself. Nanook:smile:

BJean, I don't remember and haven't read all your posts on this matter but have you been involved in politics, maybe you'd be a good candidate!!:tt1: Nanook

QueenV, Congrats on quitting smoking, that's a definite plus on the healthy side:thumbup:

Got to agree with you there Ingyrob!

Startingover, Have a thing for crab cakes too and crab dip and I remember not being able to tolerate them when I was too tight. I know there are many ways to make them etc... so I'm sure you can come up with a healthy version that suits you. I've gotten them at the Outback Steakhouse before and they were really good but otherwise I have to buy them frozen from Phillips. I guess if Proteins are allowed you should be fine. You can always just eat a portion and save the rest for later. Nanook:smile:

It's okay to feel bad about feeling bad. You can have the greatest family in the world and still suffer with depression. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain, it's not your fault it happens. Having a supportive family helps though, that's for sure! Sometimes we need extra support and may need to reach out for help to fix the problem. Jasmine, your mental health is just as important as your physical help it's all tied together actually in a nice package called "Jasmine". I understand money can be an issue and also there are those that even if they had insurance would be too embarrassed or afraid to use it to cover some of the costs as there is still a stigma involved with mental health in our society. I know people that won't go because they're afraid it may affect their job. Those are all real issues people deal with and sadly don't get the help that could improve their lives greatly. I myself was given free meds today from my nurse practitioner as the drug vendors give them to them by the truck load, well not literally. I can afford to pay for a prescription, after insurance of course, although I'm no where near rich but it's a nice to get them free once in a while too! My daughter's friend suffers from depression and anxiety but lives on her own and is not insured. She ends up going to her primary, which is the same primary I have she's honest and upfront with him and he gives her sample packs too! Although I know therapy is expensive, psychiatrists are a commodity these days there are other options for you out there. You could see a social worker from a team that may charge you on a sliding scale. I did so myself when I was in my 20s and having problems with phobias and anxiety/depression. If for some reason they felt you were in need of medication to treat this they would work with a psychiatrist to get you a script. Your own doctor if he saw signs of depression/anxiety would prescribe but they're usually would suggest some type of therapy and it's best to get a script from an actually doctor trained in that field. I did see my nurse practitioner but was a failure when it came to actually locating a good book to read. I'm sorry about that. I think you know it's a bit more complicated and are on the right track about feeling better you just have to research who is out there for you, someone who deals with women and eating disorders and also who can deal with you on a sliding scale. Be honest up front about your needs and issues and it will make it much easier. You're not the only one who doesn't want to spend the money on her mental health but you know it's the best thing you can do for yourself and that will reflect in other aspects of your life. Good luck to you and keep me posted, Nanook:smile:

Jasmine, If it weren't for writing down rambling thoughts 90% of this forum would be gone! I know it's hard to put down posts that are very personal and sometimes difficult to even hear yourself say. But if you want support about this feel free to come hear as I have found this to be a good place for me too! I have been there before, not post-lap band but before that piece of plastic was just a twinkle in Mr. Lap Band's eye! I also had fears of gaining and didn't know what to do and where to go and yes it did come back. You don't have to answer such a personal question but have you discussed this with a therapist who specializes with "eating disorders" they tend to be more on the ball about these things? I'm on my way to my therapist's office now (well the nurse practitioner, need my meds) but I'll see if she has any books on the subject. You'll be fine and love your avatar! Talk to you later Nanook:smile:

Jasmine, restate please, want to be able to read what wasn't able to, thanks Nanook. Refuse to let you self fulfill your prophecy unless it's a positive one:thumbup:

Kudos to you BJean, you are good people!!!!!!! I may not know what having a "fat mentality" has to do with anything but I do know when someone has a "bossy, mean, vindictive" type mentality and it's obvious to me and many others who aren't your sheep!!!!:thumbup:

I am on an SNRI and have been on various anti-depressants for about 18 years or so. It's almost like a vicious circle. You eat you're depressed, you take medication for depression you eat because of the medication. Not all medications will do that but the ones that don't are not as effective in treating my depression/anxiety. Nanook:smile:

Hello:thumbup: