Nanook

Mrsflipflops, It's definitely a difficult thing to tell someone else how to cope or change their coping skills. We're all so different and what works for someone doesn't necessarily work for someone else. That's why this is a great place to post so it can be a "safe" place to discuss the issues we all have. Personally in "my head" I can't say I'm a food addict or binger but I do like the occasional sweet and especially when I'm near my period, so maybe next week or so I'll be going crazy. The lap band has kept me from eating a second helping or a large portion of food but not the junk as we all know. I found in my own personal experience, (I feel I have to be so careful now what I write or someone will attack me lol), that if I focus on the fact that I'm on a diet I will totally screw up and constantly think and obsess about food. If I take that "diet scenerio" away I will eat when I'm hungry and am able to focus more on healthy foods. I still have quite a bit of restriction but not too much, 3 ccs. I can eat meat, although it doesn't aways love me, but I can eat somewhat normally and small portions but not too small where my body/mind goes into starvation mode. That's when I tend to seek out sliders which are usually goodies! I had a nurse where my surgeon is tell me that if I feel the need to eat something that I "shouldn't" to just start journaling. Nothing specific like why I feel bad and want to eat just something to keep your hands busy and then eventually it becomes a habit and maybe a way to cope. Now that maybe helpful to someone but not me, I could journal and eat a twinkie at the same time you know what I mean. So what's working for me right now and I'm not saying I'm losing a ton of weight but it's slow and I'm not gaining. I'm also walking on the treadmill 4 to 5 days a week or at least trying too and that does make me feel better. I'm sure there are others out there that can help you with your/our coping skills. I know it's not easy for me either! take care Nanook:smile:

Jasmine, What a pretty young lady you are and to think you've been hiding behind that one-eyed alien! Now I feel compelled to change my avatar, usually I wait a week or so but I may do it sooner now. Nanook.

Plain, That's what they've been called by various professionals but she refuses to do a sleep study and I'm not sure why they really wanted to do one. They are usually bug-mares or someone is in the room mares. She sits up in her bed and screams the highest pitched scream you've ever heard. As far as I know it's a sleep disorder and they tried putting her on some type of antidepressant once but that didn't help. I also took her to a neurologist and I think he gave her the script. Patrick Star from Sponge Bob Square Pants has them too, and they're usually related to spiders! She didn't mention it this morning and never came out of her room last night and this was shortly after she fell asleep that it occurred. I think it's more stressful for us than it is for her. My poor dog too! When she was dorming in college one semester she lived in a "city" dorm so there were security guards in the dorm halls at night. Anyway she had a night terror and they busted into her room thinking she was being attacked and she was really embarrassed. One night when she was first having them I walked to the bathroom, there is a connection here, and she charged out of her room during this night terror chased me down the hall and almost threw me down the stairs and I landed on the floor all scraped up! I know you probably think I deserved it but it was really scary! I needed my own security guard just to go to the bathroom at night. I think it was after that incident that we thought, hey night terrors are an issue! Anyway I know there are others out there that have them and I was hoping she'd grow out of them. I don't think they're as common in adults as they are in children. I just worry for her future DH!!!!! Thanks :thumbs_up:

BJean, Your dietitian is one wise woman/man:smile:

Sorry to hear the latest bs about your insurance I hope you can get it straightened out. I guess each insurance company is different but still they should tell you this info ahead of time before they put you through all of this!

Hey "Cool Kid" would a sleep study do a person good if they had very random night terrors? My 23 yo has them and they are "much fun". They started in HS. Last night I went to the bathroom and it is next to her room and I think noise seems to set them off at times. But it's been over a month since she's had one. At least she doesn't charge out of her room anymore that was really scary. I don't know if a sleep study would help because you can't predict when the next one will come. Thanks Nanook.

Love to hear your thoughts sometime Mrs. Flipflops and glad it's helping. Nanook-brandyII.:thumbs_up:

BJean, Daaammmmn my skin is much thicker!!!!!! but I have learned a little through all of this, yes, it is better to stay in the lap band failure closet, lol and fat people can have "good" self esteem!!!!!!!!!!!!! brandyII:smile:

BJean, my horse hurts too! I want it dropped also!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!brandyII/Nanook:thumbup:

Peace Jasmine you are "good people":thumbup: brandyII-Nanook

:blushing: I agree with you whole heartedly. Rants and Raves should be called by a different name but I'm too much of a lady to say it, lol! I don't think people resent "normal weight" in our society people giving advice, that has nothing to do with it. It's certain people on this forum who act like they need to be our harshest critic. Some people here do have an attitude that is not conducive to helping those with various issues and should just keep their comments to themselves although I know it's not easy. A lot of it is seen as mean spirited by others. Jachut et al, I will let you know how it "feels" when you've made some of those comments to me in the past. You make "me" feel like I'm a fricken loser fat girl like I've felt many times from long ago as a child up to an adult. I'm sure I'm not alone in this but I think you really need to know that this is not helpful to anyone! Maybe it makes you feel "big" I don't know but to me and a lot of us it is seen as bullying. If we upset you because we're "whiners" to you then pass us by, we don't need you're advice if it's going to be so critical and judgmental. Mean dialog has not only shown up in Rants and Raves as I think we all know. I know the two threads I started and closed really seemed to upset you. I began the first thread "come out of the lap band failure closet" because I was having issues and was honest and open about it and others were PMing me about their problems too because they were afraid to discuss them out in the open in the forums. Can't imagine why?? The other thread was in the Mental Health social group, at the time, on self esteem and if fat people could have it. It wasn't an invite for attack but it was anyway. I don't know if you would have attacked that thread so much if it was started by a different poster. Sometimes we're here just to discuss things with a group of people that have similar problems we're not necessarily asking for a kick in the tail nor do we want it. You're not coaching a football team although sometimes it appears you think you are. brandyII may have died but Nanook lives on!!!!! Let's try to be a little more civil because there are a lot of people out there who read these posts wherever they are and don't ever respond, probably scared out of their wits! This is a forum not just for the posters, this is a forum for all people that are considering surgery had the surgery and those who have even had their bands removed. I don't want a fight with you or your buds, "peace/olive branch" thank you Nanook, brandyII:smile:

Jasmine, I know that hormones and blood sugar, thyroid, these are all things that can affect your mood and depression. I know you said something about insurance but have you had any blood workups done recently or since your lap band? Maybe it's related to something else so if it becomes a problem you can't manage maybe you can look into that direction also. Nanook:smile:

Jasmine, I only know what I've read or what I've experience or learned from other people. I think you'll know if you need to get more help and if you're living your life fairly normal and the exercise is helping then that's wonderful. There are a lot of people who can't relate to having actual clinical depression and the various mental disorders. Some just think you should tough it out. I remember discussing my depression with my MIL after having my first baby and trying to explain it to her was like trying to explain it to the wall. She just didn't get it. She told me she was depressed after her husband died but got over it. She was 40 and had 4 children when he had a sudden heart attack and died. I'd assume someone would be depressed after such a traumatic even but she still doesn't understand the whole depression, anxiety that affects people for no reason what so ever and is a chemical imbalance in the brain. My husband is an apple off that tree but he's smart enough and open enough to understand it, God, you'd think so after living with me for 28 years! books are very helpful and when you find the right one that helps you and you can relate to it's a good thing! Take care Nanook:tongue:

I just realized you moved it thanks Alex!

One more thing is that antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds can affect your energy levels. This is one thing that can be worked out with you and your doctor as to whether it's best to take your med in the morning or at night. Nanook:smile:

I think you had a unique situation because you needed to get off a drug because of bad side effects and having withdrawal symptoms that were not helped with the paxil. I've been on both drugs and have had good results with both. Of course one size does not fit all. I've totally gone off my meds before to go on Meridia and I remember how uncomforable the withdrawal phase was and then the un-med phase was just as bad or worse. Dizzy is one way to describe it although it's a different kind of dizzy. I also got what I call "brain sparks" which happened over a course of a couple of weeks and that is really awful. Even today if I miss a dose by 12 hours I'll get them, it's a little reminder of sorts I suppose. Recently I was researching on line because I was having those "brain sparks" and found all sorts of blogs from people describing issues they had going off effexor, so that must be one of those drugs that a lot of people have had probs with during withdrawal. Now a days if I'm going off an antidepressant I'm usually switching so depending on which drugs they are it can be done at the same time, lower dose of the first drug and adding the new one. My doctor usually informs me of the proper way to do it and I usually have no probs. I'm kind of surprised that a doctor wouldn't know about side effects on withdrawals from these types of meds. I have been on those "zombie" type drugs but mainly they were anti-anxiety types. Forgive me if I ask or re-ask if you're seeing a psych doctor or a regular doctor. Have you been diagnosed with something in particular? I think sometimes a lot of people don't like taking these types of drugs because they don't like the feeling like they're losing control of themselves. When I was first seeing my psych I believe I was crying at almost every visit in the beginning, my emotions were running rampant and I also had a very agitated side that was not good. Once she put me on my first antidepressant, sorry don't remember the name as it was a long time ago, those tears dried up and the lashing outs, diarrhea (yes that too) and the vulnerable feelings I was having disappeared. It's not to say that I don't ever cry but I cry when I'm supposed to, not all day long! I admit the loss of sex drive, plus I'm perimenopausal so could also contribute and weight gain are things that do bother me but I could not live without my meds anymore. Your doctor has to find the right diagnosis for you and the right combo of therapy and meds and of course the right combo of meds. Some people being misdiagnosed can be a problem, for example people who are bipolar and put on antidepressants. Not all bipolar people are alike. You typically think of manic highs and lows but some never have the highs only the lows so it can be tricky and if they're put on antidepressants it's not going to help and could do harm. Plus it takes awhile for you to get the full effects of the drug once you start. I went from Cymbalta to Pristiq but they are very similar in drug class and I've had the Cymbalta in my system for years but when you start it's a different situation. For some people they may have a bad reaction and need to stop like you did on effexor but there's no reason not to try another one. Some people do feel good right away and some it may take awhile. Anyway my big mouth has rambled on enough, lol. But I do hope you can find the right help for yourself and the right med that will help you feel better soon, nanook:smile:

I learned running away to a new location never solves anything, that's just me. Of course my reasons for moving away were much different than yours. JMHO. You'll make the right choice for you, maybe you just want to get away! Doesn't mean you can never come back although I never have, lol! BTW, I had to check out your web page or blog or whatever you call it and got a giggle out of your "plate of seafood a la weinies"! Reminds me I have to do the dishes bye! Nanook:smile:

What if you have TMJ?

Couldn't have said it better myself Plain!:embaressed_smile:

Gloucester, That's pretty funny, did you ever wash the pillows?:embaressed_smile: Nanook

My republican husband is against the death penalty and I tend to vote with "how this would affect me and my family" in mind. I don't know if that's a common way of thinking or not. I like Obama's views on child rape and the death penalty although I am a democrat and consider a lot of my views liberal, not all. But if I had a child that was brutally raped it would be very difficult for me to not want that person executed! So far for me Obama 1!:embaressed_smile: Nanook.

The good news is once you're married you don't have to do that anymore! I mean is it really worth the 7 calories?:embaressed_smile:

I know there is a social group here for mental illness issues, I've been there before and you have also. People do not necessarily have "I have mental illness" stamped on their heads or on their avatars. There maybe many "marshmallows" out there that also suffer from mental illness, just want you to be aware, thanks Nanook.

Isn't there a whole room for mental illness where these things can be discussed and more people would benefit from. I'm not a doctor or an expert just a sufferer. I was diagnosed with a "borderline personality disorder" and when you first hear that you think they're insulting your personality, lol! I did not want to have depression or anxiety and it showed up during a good time in my life, when things were going well for me, prime of my life and I was thin, lol. It wasn't something that I could control. I have a sibling who also had it show up in his life also around the same age, early 20s and he has no weight problem and never did and I don't find mine to be weight related, it's a physical problem. Think of it like someone having a brain tumor, it's a brain disease. It's not just a painful, I'm so sad, I'm depressed, I hate my ass, my boyfriend dumped me type of situation. It's much deeper than that and it's uncontrollable fear, panic, sadness and a loss of pleasure in life! No one would wish that on anyone. One day you're fine and living a very productive life and the next day you're actually afraid to leave your house. It can be very debilitating. There's also a snowball effect that can happen where one thing affects another then another and makes many things in your life not as efficient and pleasant as they once were. It can take years of different types of therapy and experimenting with various drugs. The sad truth is that once you've been dealt "the card" I don't know that many people that are ever the same again. I've never gotten back there. It's very hard to explain unless you are living this but it can almost feel like part of your soul has died. Now I've gone through years of various therapies (still do) and that was wonderful and helped to an extent and have been on medications for many years and they keep me from jumping off a bridge or taking an overdose. Not once did I ever feel like I wanted people to surround me and feel sorry for me because of the stigma associated with mental illness I was too embarrassed to even talk about it so how could someone feel sorry for me because of my depression/anxiety when I wouldn't tell them? I have found that medications have affected many things sex drive, weight gain, constipation, but what are the alternatives? Maybe one day they'll come up with the perfect pill that won't have those side effects. I've worked with professions for many years to get through this and survive. Coming to terms with my mental illness and being able to discuss it with others who share also has helped me. I don't know why I was so ashamed but I think like some other poster said we tend to be much harder on ourselves and be perfectionists and when there is some kind of flaw, albeit we can't control, we hide it and don't want others to think badly of us. Anyway Kudos to tommaney for working on a mental health thread/social group as it will help us in two ways. One, it will help to educate people who don't know much about mental illness except for the various stereotypes out there and two, it will help the people who are actually dealing with mental illness come together for support they truly need! Thanks, Nanook.