XtinaDoesIt

I weigh myself almost every time I use the bathroom! Lol! I was going to slow down but I actually think it helps me to see my weight flunctuate. It helps me paint a deeper picture then if I were to weigh in once a week. Especially when I am up a pound or 2 because I know that it's not really true. I like to average out my loss in my head. It would be more devastating to do a weekly check up and see my weight go up when it could just be a high Water retention day or something. For me to actually consider it weight gain, I tell myself the number has to stay up for at least three days (I do the same with loss). That helps me not go crazy.

I am not sure if I am expecting to get on the scales and see a 5# weight loss one morning from the day before or what but I can't stay off the scales. I have got to go to once a week!

Ok. Then maybe look for the other disciplines that are trained to offer therapy like clinical social workers and folks with LPCs or whatever masters level counselors are called in your state. Psychologists are great, but if they are too limited, then I would certainly look for other trained and licensed therapy professionals that might be helpful.

I might actually go to a friend from college's wedding in June instead of sending my usual gift and excuses.

Wearing shorts without chaffing... much 😁. I cant wait not to chafe at all!!!

YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

I'm definitely going to try this the next time I make chili. I love mole and never thought to put cocoa powder in my chili. I put brown sugar in my spaghetti sauce but not in my chili either. I'm excited to try this! Thanks!

I might actually go to a friend from college's wedding in June instead of sending my usual gift and excuses.

I might actually go to a friend from college's wedding in June instead of sending my usual gift and excuses.

I might actually go to a friend from college's wedding in June instead of sending my usual gift and excuses.

I might actually go to a friend from college's wedding in June instead of sending my usual gift and excuses.

I might actually go to a friend from college's wedding in June instead of sending my usual gift and excuses.

This is so real! For a long time I have lived with these versions of "it fits" in my wardrobe
It fits, like I can go out in public fits! It fits, like I can go out in public fits but only if I wear a layer over it or it goes under a long tunic It fits, but only for wearing around the house where no one can see my bulging rolls/gut/boobs/butt It fits, if I can manage to lose 5 pounds. It ...f**k its not even close to fitting.

I think my birth control sparked my weight gain as well. I was on the Mirena (hormonal IUD) and although I loved how it stopped my period, I felt like suddenly I wasn't able to lose any weight no matter how hard I tried. Thats really when I started trying all of these extreme dieting and exercising and developing bad habits. I eventually started gaining weight until I took it out but by then I think the damage had already been done. Also, I developed facial hair which still continue to grow after I removed the Mirena. Recently I tried the Paraguard (Copper IUD) which didn't make me gain any weight but I HATED it. My menstrual cramps were soooo bad and I bleed so heavily and often. I haven't tried anything post WLS.

I love these lists! I’m still 52 lbs from goal, but so far I have a whole list:
1. Not feeling like I have to rush home to get into pajamas because it’s the only thing that doesn’t feel like it’s strangling me. Bras just fit better when you arent as fat, who knew.
2. Chairs! Chairs with arms! Flimsy looking chairs! Patio chairs!
3. So much variety in clothes, and I can wear styles I like instead of huge frumpy cardigans over everything. I can thrift now, and shop in pretty much any store.
4. I feel like I have energy and interest in doing things again. I don’t just want to hide out at home and eat all weekend long.
5. Not being terrified of running into someone I knew 10+ years ago in public because of how fat I’d gotten.
6. I can go up the stairs and not die. I can exercise and not feel like I might die. Amazing.
7. I wore a pair of shorts yesterday and they weren’t Bermuda length! And my thighs didn’t start a small fire.
8. I like my facial features so much better now. My eyes look bigger, my jawline actually exists, and I look more like myself.
9. At my heaviest my arms stuck out weird because of the fat, and my legs were always at a weird angle because of fat as well. I can rest my arms by my sides and stand with my feet together.

It's been a while since I did an inventory of my NSV's.
I'm 2.5 years post op, but I can still appreciate all the little things:
Not only fitting into regular-width tall boots, but wearing jeans with knee-high woollen socks over them while wearing said boots AND still have room to spare. I used to hate it whenever Mr. tried to pick me up - as in lift up off the ground, not hit on at the bar! - (dude, I'm 235 lbs, you will embarrass both you AND me in your attempts)...now I find any excuse for him to do it...including jumping onto him at random moments. Sharing (and fitting into) the often fought-over arm chair in the house with the Kid at the same time quite comfortably. Feeling 110% confident in walking around buck naked (in front of Mr. lol). No more quick dashes to my closet after showers (i do a slow catwalk now...lol), no more towels or sheets or strategically placed hands to cover myself. The lights are ON alot during sexy-times hahahahahhaha. Seemingly endless amounts of energy, a perpetually good mood, and an overall attitude of "Sure, let's do it" (whatever it may be)....vs. being tired all the time, cranky and annoyed alot, and saying NO to most things. oh, and ...CLOTHES.

Hell yeah to saying good bye to leg chafing. It still surprises me when I realise my thighs don’t rub together anymore. It happened today as I was rushing about in jeans & thought somethings not right - oh yeah, my thighs don’t touch anymore. No drag, no swooshy sound effects of rubbing fabric. No pills on the inner upper legs of pants. No redness, no rashes, no discomfort, ...
It’s the little things that mean so much. 😁😁😁

Not being angry at the end of the day because my bras were so freakin tight

Being able to buy clothes "off the rack" rather than having to go to a DXL store. It's amazing the difference in cost. When I started the journey I had a 56-inch waist, which non-Big&Tall stores just don't stock.
I've been reluctant to invest a whole lot of money in clothes as I've been losing weight, as ideally I will continue to lose sizes for a bit longer, so why pay for clothes I'll (hopefully) only wear for a couple months. It's like the reverse of being a kid/teenager, when Mom would get frustrated that I outgrew clothes yet again.
However, at some point the old clothes start looking awful, like you're wearing a tent... not to mention heavy and uncomfortable AF. Being in a transition state with sizes and not wanting to spend money, I went to Wal-Mart and bought some $10.97 jeans... first time wearing jeans in over 30 years. Hard to wrap my brain around it... the jeans weren't unbearably uncomfortable. I was able to buy 44-inch waist and now several weeks later, they're already feeling a bit loose. My next shopping trip, it might be 42.
They had a bunch of dress shirts on clearance that rang up at $2. The XL (down from 3XL) fit easily. At that price, who cares if they fall apart in a few washes.
A whole new world: Being able to shop clothing sales and clearance. That hasn't been part of my life in many many decades.

Wearing shorts without chaffing... much 😁. I cant wait not to chafe at all!!!

This recovery is a total mindfuck! All my ups and downs with food and weight have led me to question if I know what it means to be hungry and/or satiated. I was describing to my boyfriend that some foods make me feel so full after a few bites. It's like it's is piling up in my digestive tract about to overflow. But can I really be full with a few bites or am I just uncomfortable? Lately, half of the time I feel uncomfortably full and the other half, I feel unbarably empty. I'm either too full or have nothing in my belly! What happened to my in between stage? Does that emptiness mean I'm hungry? I also think I'm becoming more scared to eat because I dread the discomfort after. I'm also scared to throw up as a means of relieving the discomfort because I'm scared of developing another eating disorder. This surgery sure is doing a good job of removing the joy of food. I miss feeling a normal hunger and a normal sense of satisfaction from eating.
I'm really surprised that continued psychological visits are not part of the process post-surgery. I have never felt so weight/food obsessed in my entire obese life than I do right now! My relationship with food and my scale are at an all time low. My feelings are so up and down. I'm only 2 months out but I'm really hoping for control and normalcy soon.
This started out as a question but ended up being a rant. I know I'll probably feel better tomorrow. Thanks for reading!

OMG Yes!!!! I am right there with you! This is exactly that point for me and it seem like I'm on my umpteenth stall. I've been here for 2 weeks. I just know of I can just break out of the 230's then this is going to work. But I keep fluctuated from 233-235. Luckily, my body won't let me quit even if I wanted to.

Wearing shorts without chaffing... much 😁. I cant wait not to chafe at all!!!

Having the doctor say "You're overweight" out of habit and being able to say "No I'm not." 😂

Hi All,

Just wanted to know what others have experienced. For some reason I am having daily anxiety. I absolutely can't stand it as it hits out of nowhere at all. I am only 17 days Post-Op, take my Vitamins daily, and still taking my Metformin until I am blood tested again. I do not want to go on an anti anxiety medication. I had been on Lexapro for 4 years at which point I put on a lot of weight going from a size 4 to 1-2X. I lost all motivation on working out as well. I went off the Lexapro completely 2 months before surgery and started actually caring about myself which is why I decided to do this surgery so I could get my health back on track. Following my weight gain, I developed diabetes, Apnea (now using a C-Pap for a year) and NASH of the liver. I notice exercise helps with the anxiety for sure but I cant seem to get a decent response from the medical community to help me feel better about this. I asked my surgeon why this sudden onset of anxiety that hits for what seems like no reason at all and his response was if I am eating right and exercising that this could be the cause because of sudden change and that maybe people are treating me differently and all of this is causing anxiety. I then told him no - people are not treating me differently. My family is amazing with all of this and I am working out of the house so have not been around others for them to treat me differently. In my case this is absolutely not the case at all. I pressed on asking if chemical changes in the body could be happening due to the surgery that may be causing this and he said yes. Wondering why I had to keep poking to get that response at all and yet because that was not the first response I am even doubting that. Why not just tell me that since I made it clear I am having these spikes out of nowhere and can't figure out why. I am finding myself overthinking everything right now honestly. Wondering how I will tolerate eating anything at this point or will I ever be able to. My doctor keeps his patients on a 5 week post-op liquid diet before you go on to a pureed / soft food diet for another 3 weeks. So unsure of myself right now and considered I made a huge mistake and so very much want to get passed this feeling more than anything in the world. Part of me is happy I did the surgery for my health and the results of weight loss I have seen thus far but another part wonders why I could not get back on track on my own and worried about long term complications. Like once I start eating will I have a sudden stomach leak, will I have no ability to hold down food or end up on liquids for the rest of my life? Will I ever be able to enjoy a glass of wine again and comfortably get on with life in a better more healthy way. Will I end up with Gallstones that cause another surgery or will I have stomach blockage in the future and how will I know if I do? I want to Celebrate my choice to have done this and enjoy the weight loss but instead I am having so much self doubt and it's making me miserable. My liver health alone was cause to do this along with the diabetes so what is my damn problem? It is really hard to deal with this and I'm frankly pissed at myself for letting the anxiety get to me. I am considering going back on a lower dose of Lexapro again at least until this simmers down as I am hoping this is a chemical change in my body due to part of the stomach being removed and all the dietary changes just concerned it will make me not give a crap again and go lazy. IDK, if I knew factually this was all going to be a temporary reality then I would do it until the body goes back to normal.