David_L

I've worked briefly with a therapist and I'm currently looking for another as well. The program I was part of no longer "saw the benefit" of using the therapy folks they were using so it was going to be all out of pocket. I know for sure I could use some help navigating the real reasons behind my addictive behavior.

I walked away from cigarettes November of 2016 then booze a few months later. I was already over 300 lbs and I knew I had to start somewhere. I've been reading up on addiction transfer and it's real. This is not specific to the subject but might help get you started: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/19033853-the-emotional-first-aid-kit?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=Ubhhurkvj4&rank=2 I'm also still fighting with what I call the "munchie monster" and I'm still working through my childhood traumas. I'm also re-reading Atomic Habits by James Clear and trying to incorporate little changes in my daily routine to ensure these habits and/or rituals become second nature. Alcohol destroyed my dad as it has many others. I hope you can find away to address what's really going on and start walking down a healthier path. I'm here to vent to or talk to if you need .

I just turned 52 and I still haven't grown up. I have also been kicked in the head several times by life as most of us had and as you, didn't care how I looked. At least that's what I've told myself. I'm now 13 months post op and I'm in a much better place physically and mentally but the battle is still being fought. I think now it's time to embrace the battle itself and the process and table any per-conceived notions of a "destination". I've walked away from alcohol and tobacco a few years before deciding to go on the path I'm on now. I also struggle with the stress/boredom/habitual eating monsters. What I try to do now is acknowledge these things and try my best to see them as they come and hopefully do something that moves me in a healthier direction. Life will continue to kick us but this is when we can decide what we're going to do about it. Remember, our kids are watching us... and my hope is they get strength and love from watching us get back up. I hope your wife improves her health, as do you. Much love, -D After thinking about my reply for the last couple days.... I did not mean to come off as cold or indifferent so I apologize if that's how my typed words came across. Regardless of what I or anyone else says, you are a bada$$ for doing what you are doing. Getting healthy for your self and your family shows how much of a rock star you really are.

I just turned 52 and I still haven't grown up. I have also been kicked in the head several times by life as most of us had and as you, didn't care how I looked. At least that's what I've told myself. I'm now 13 months post op and I'm in a much better place physically and mentally but the battle is still being fought. I think now it's time to embrace the battle itself and the process and table any per-conceived notions of a "destination". I've walked away from alcohol and tobacco a few years before deciding to go on the path I'm on now. I also struggle with the stress/boredom/habitual eating monsters. What I try to do now is acknowledge these things and try my best to see them as they come and hopefully do something that moves me in a healthier direction. Life will continue to kick us but this is when we can decide what we're going to do about it. Remember, our kids are watching us... and my hope is they get strength and love from watching us get back up. I hope your wife improves her health, as do you. Much love, -D

I'm about the same as you guys. My goal is/was around 220 and I've been hovering around 230 for quite some time now and have to say I'm quite happy with it. I've posted this on other sub forums but my fat percentage went from 28 to 25% in my last visit, even though my weight stayed the same in the 3 month period.

I seem to have the opposite problem but it's my own doing. I started regular exercise quite soon after my surgery... I'd say about 2 months post op. I'm now one year in and I go 6x a week. I drink at least 3 protein shakes a day in addition to a normal-ish diet and too many not_very_health_snacks if I'm being honest. I had my one year check up and the one good thing is ... even though the number on the scale did not move in the last 3 months, my muscle mass went up and overall body fat went down. I'm having a hard time with the mental aspect now and I'm trying my hardest to stop the old habits from creeping back. I'm around 106kgs and 182cm (i had to google convert, not going to lie)

I'm just 13 months post op and I already see old habits creeping back. I'm very active and I hit the gym 6 days a week and get plenty of rest. It's the late night munchy monster and sweet tooth that gets me into trouble. I did therapy for a couple months but insurance put the squash on that. I've read several books and used various trackers. It comes down to doing the hard work and looking yourself in the mirror every day and telling yourself you never want to go back to that prison. At least that's what my mind is telling me now.

My goal was 220 and I've been hovering in the mid 220's for a while now. I also struggle with the sweet tooth. Talking to a counselor is an excellent idea. We have to explore the questions that got us to this point in the first place. It seems the better option is to replace the habit of eating a half pan of brownies with something a bit healthier. Too funny you said that because that is a huge weakness for me! I also have been indulging in the sweets and I'm personally scared of letting the old habits take back control.

Checking in with others here. I can't believe it's been 8 months... I'm doing well, still think I can drop a bit more weight but very pleased all in all.

I read somewhere on this forum that your "goal weight" picks you. I believe (or hope) that some of that is true. My original goal is 220 and now that I'm closing in on that, I'm definitely approaching this open minded. I've spoke about this with others and I firmly believe that if I were to stay where I'm at now, I'd be very grateful. I feel better than I did when I was 30 and I'm 51 now. The one thing that does bother me is the "charts" say that I'm still obese even though my labs and overall health stipulate otherwise.

Not to discourage you but the surgery does not fix all things and especially not our heads. I find myself having new funks. My surgeon actually prescribed some very mild anti-anxiety stuff and said some funk was expected. The hormonal and other biological changes are quite extreme and it's something all of us have to work with. For what it's worth... 6 months after I find my self with higher highs and even some lows I can't quite wrap my head around. It seems that some if not a lot of long term successful folks have approached this both mentally and physically. None of us want to go back to a life and the prison of obesity. That being said.... I feel like I need to work on my head at this time.

Cutting toenails no longer feels like an Olympic event. Also, not eyeballing your parking job wondering if you can get into your car... that's a big one for me.

I'm right behind you!! I can't believe it's already been 6 months since we did this. Had you asked me a couple years ago if I could ever feel this good, I would call you a liar. I recall very clearly how much it hurt just to get out of bed. I also recall having to be hospitalized twice after the procedure and wondering if I made a mistake. Those "bumps" are all part of the process. I hope to come back to this forum and keep in touch with folks even a year from now to share our success stories.

I see some loose stuff in the front of my neck but otherwise am doing pretty good. I'm over 100lbs lost and that seems to be the most visible. I exercise quite a bit and don't have a large flap around my abdomen just yet.

So I'm 2 months post surgery and I just started going through some clothes. I'm purchasing some cheap and inexpensive "temporary" clothes as I anticipate losing more before working on building a new wardrobe. It does feel amazing but time to board the realism train here for a minute. I suspect most, if not all of us have lost and re-gained weight more than a couple times and we've been in this situation before. You throw away all your "fat" clothes and life is amazing and wonderful then one year later (arbitrary time frame) you find yourself back at the big and tall section. Now, I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but I'm also a realist. I've spoken with so many people that do in fact admit that surgery is merely a tool and a lot of folks do gain weight back even after something as drastic as what we've all gone through. As I continue to do the hard work of the mental aspect of your paths.... (just as all of you are doing) what are your thoughts on this subject? What goes through your minds when you are either boxing up old clothes and/or donating to Good Will? Some folks are mentally tougher than I am and perhaps this just doesn't cross their thoughts.

Coming up on 3 months after my initial post on this topic. I just went through my closet and drawers a third time. With the exception of one shirt, everything is gone. It's almost to the point where my newer smaller clothes are getting too big. This is crazy fun but also scary. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else but either way, I'm grateful to have this "problem"

I full expect to have up's and down's. As I'm early into this process, I'm very much enjoying the "honeymoon phase" but I'm also a realist. A suggestion I heard was to try the liquid only (pre-op) diet for a week or 2 to kick start things. I'm interested in the long game just like everyone else. It's the small everyday habits that are going to make us all healthier long term. At least that's the story I'm telling myself at this point. Thank you for your story.

Think I mentioned this in another post but when I told my surgeon I weighed in everyday (right after surgery), he asked me if I was purposely trying to make myself even nuttier than I already was. Joking but not I suppose. I think once or twice a week is reasonable. I find that if I do it too infrequent, I'm more likley to make mistakes and lose track of my accountability. If I weigh in too much, I obsess over the number, which isn't always the best indicator. To each their own w/o going too crazy I reckon. 😀

i'm the same way with the "250 mark". Those mental hurdle are a real *****.

Another great topic and great interest to me. "Back on track" has to be the new normal for us. When I personally think of "back on track" and knowing my own vocabulary and actions, this implies that we're only doing well when we are in fact "on track". We're all going to stumble and get off track but these definitions and phrases may mean different things to different people. My personal "on track" typical day consists of drinking as much water as possible first thing in the morning, limiting my coffee intake, walking every 2 hours while i'm working from home, and going to the gym at least 5 days a week. It's the grind that make me feel like I'm "on track". Hope this makes sense for others.

Hope this helps some folks. One thing I read not too long ago (and I can't recall where exactly) are the reasons why we do the things we do. This is why I love this topic and thread. Intrinsic vs extrinsic. Saying things like "I want to drop 50lbs so I can get into my old jeans" would be extrinsic whereas "I just want to be at a healthy weight and avoid the long term complications due to excessive weight" would be more intrinsic. These are the things we really have to ponder.

To give my boys the gift of being a potential "Grandpa" to their future children, should they decide to have them. It's something they didn't have much have in their lives. I also want to enjoy "golden" years in a healthy way with the wife. I also want to break free from the prison cell of nearly 350lbs. We're flying to Savannah in a couple months and for the first time in a long time, I am not too concerned about fitting in the airplane seat.

My Dr was the one that gave me the advice I'm following now. Although I'm not new to weight loss, I am new to this type of weight loss. Your comment "diet that is normal" is a bit contradictory as in none of us would be in this forum if our diets were normal in the first place. I think I understand what you are saying though. I'm glad to be on this forum and grateful to pick up on knowledge from everyone.

I've been stalled for over a week so I will be doing liquid/protein shakes only (and water) for a few days to re-kickstart. I can definitely see myself slipping if I'm going to be completely honest. I exercise 6 days a week and don't think i'm overdoing it, but perhaps that's why my appetite is stronger than it should be.

I had a severe craving for deviled eggs after a workout a couple weeks back. Made about 6 (a dozen halves) and was able to put down 3 before I got full and almost sick. "Listening" to the fullness is still a novelty for me. I crave sweets, shakes, cake, brownies, and all that stuff still but it feels like I have a bit more control. I do my best to listen to the experts, fill up with protein first, then veg and any carb should be towards the bottom of the list.