MeTooToo

Hello! Im in the “considering” phase for WLS. Not sure if I am a good candidate or if I am giving up on my own sheer determination too soon. I have a child who is about a year out of sleeve surgery at age 22 and doing great. It’s inspiring, and I long for similar success. I have battled my weight my whole life. A little background: According to height and weight charts, I have never ever been within healthy range. At age 14, I weighed 181. As an active teen I averaged 165, and I have not seen that weight since. As an adult, I usually hovered between 195-270 and everything in between as I had children and went through the decades of my life. (Highest weight was 270 from 1999-2003) In the last 10 years, I have felt pretty good and seemed to settle into the 185-210 range, always fluctuating. I am 5’9” so I carry my weight well. This last two years I have gained 37 lbs pushing me from 193 to 230. (20 if it is definitely covid stress related) I had gestational diabetes with all three pregnancies, requiring insulin. My father was a diabetic and had every complication of it (stroke, blindness, foot infections) including kidney failure which ultimately contributed to his death. Other than genetics, my current health issues are heart palpitations, knee pain, back pain. My BMI is currently 34.5. Even if I struggle to lose 30 lbs, at 199 I will still be around 29 BMI. Even maintaining “overweight” status is a constant uphill battle for me and has gotten worse in my 40’s. I am tired of this being so difficult. I live in fear of inheriting my fathers health problems. Sorry so long. Wondering if I’m giving up my willpower too soon. The constant flip flopping from “I can do this on my own” and “it’s time to take this to another level before it’s too late” is giving me terrible anxiety. Any thoughts, experience, or advice is welcome.

I made a call and will be attending the seminar next week. I’m pretty sure I’ll be making that first appointment after that and starting the whole process which, form what I read, seems to take about 6 months. Question (and I hope it doesn’t sound silly) Has anyone ever used that 6 month time frame to really try their absolute best to give it one more chance and lose that weight on their own? (Or to at least make that commitment, and begin the weight loss journey on their own)?? Or, most of the time, are you pretty resigned to accepting your fate - which is surgery - and try to maintain your highest weight throughout that 6 months?

So, as I travel this road of research heading into this decision, I find myself very concerned about privacy. I’ve been adding up the pros and cons of using a local hospital versus an out of town one strictly in the name of privacy. I know a lot of folks in my local medical community, and I feel it will be nearly impossible to keep this quiet if I do it locally. And really, it probably would not take much for it to leak if I go to an out of town hospital. One piece of paper crossing the wrong reception desk and my “secret” would be out. It is frustrating to keep waffling back and forth. On one hand, I don’t want to hear judgmental comments before or after, or unwanted advice. On the other hand... am I really going to go through all of this and a big transformation and deny the fact that I got some medical intervention as support? Really, where is the shame in it, anyway? I figure, if I encounter anyone who judges my decision or brings negativity to me, I will show the them the exit door out of my life and enjoy my new health with people that matter. Wondering what others thoughts are on privacy. The stigma with weight loss services is frustrating. No one ridicules smokers for using medicine to help them quit. Or alcoholics who go into intense rehab.

And... Is privacy so important that one should inconvenience oneself and give up the ease of doing it locally for an out of town surgeon?? And one trip to the local ER with a serious aftercare issue, and the cover would be blown anyway. Right? Thanks to anyone who can help me think this through.

That’s a lot of weight! Were you ever afraid of the weight loss making you less likely to be approved by insurance? I do like the idea of feeling out some of the changes before surgery.

You’re sooo right. I’ve said that to myself, many times.

Buffbills: Exactly. I can relate to this sentiment, and I’m having that feeling. Maybe it’s denial. I can see myself going for it in an unusually fervent way, inspired by the thoughts of surgery, only to gain it all back at month 8. Then, I look back and wish I would have just had it done. 😕

Thank you!! I think about my knees all the time, and how ouch better they will feel when I’m a grandparent if I could get 80lb off of them! What is WFPB guidelines??

Thank you catwoman! I know my post was a little long and I appreciate your response.